Help, Am I Being To Critical About My Daughters New Center?

[Unregistered]

Hi,

My daughter is 14 months, very loving and easy-going. We recently moved. In our old neighborhood, about 20 mins away from where we live now. We had her at a perfect in-home that was loving, safe and where she was thriving. She was one of the older kids though out of ten children.

When we moved, we switched her to a center which brought a lot of changes: no bottles, one nap and on a nap mat (no cribs), structured schedule, and no high chairs (only eating at a table, fairly independently) and food that is not necessarily age appropriate (cereal and a spoon?).

She has been there for 4 weeks and I am unsettled: she is not napping which makes it hard for her and us. The teachers are nice, but not entirely warm or affectionate like in the in-home setting. One day I picked her up and found her soaking wet with pee. The same teachers that are in the am for drop-off are not always there in the evening so there is a lack of consistency when I ask questions about her day. It seems dirty and the kids noses are never clean. Lastly, the daily sheets that are filled out are not necessarily true. For example, I dropped her off at 930am last week and the sheet said she ate breakfast at 9am...my hunch is they just fill them out and don't cater to each child.

Am I being too critical snd should I give it more time? We thought this was a good age to transition her since she csn stay at this closer place until she is in kindergarten. Now I am unsure and unsettled. Thank you in advance! Just really struggling with where she was to where she is now and not sure if I am unsettled about centers in general or just this one.

[Heidi]

Well, some of those things: no bottles, sleeping on a mat, and eating at a small table and chairs, and encouraging spoon use, are considered "quality indicators". Encouraging independence is considered a good thing. My 15 mo here holds the spoon in one hand and eats with the other, for the most part, but it's a start. All mine usually go to table foods (with the exception of chocking hazards like raw veggies) at 10-11 months. I don't really "baby" them very long; but they are very happy, loved little people.

The rest is a side effect of center care, many times. Most of those teachers are paid close to minimum wage, and take no "ownership" of their program. There ARE great centers and center teachers (some post here). However, those folks are usually at more costly centers that can afford to pay their staff a decent wage and require some sort of ECE education.

I recently hired an assistant for a couple months during a transition. Her experience is in centers. There is definitely a disparity in the way I care for these kids (and for that matter, my space and materials) than my assistant. She clearly does not have the vested interest I do, and it shows.

My son's were in a center years ago, and I know what you mean about the daily notes. I think it's because the only time they can actually do those is at nap; and then they're going by memory.

[Leigh]

Hi,

My daughter is 14 months, very loving and easy-going. We recently moved. In our old neighborhood, about 20 mins away from where we live now. We had her at a perfect in-home that was loving, safe and where she was thriving. She was one of the older kids though out of ten children.

When we moved, we switched her to a center which brought a lot of changes: no bottles, one nap and on a nap mat (no cribs), structured schedule, and no high chairs (only eating at a table, fairly independently) and food that is not necessarily age appropriate (cereal and a spoon?).

She has been there for 4 weeks and I am unsettled: she is not napping which makes it hard for her and us. The teachers are nice, but not entirely warm or affectionate like in the in-home setting. One day I picked her up and found her soaking wet with pee. The same teachers that are in the am for drop-off are not always there in the evening so there is a lack of consistency when I ask questions about her day. It seems dirty and the kids noses are never clean. Lastly, the daily sheets that are filled out are not necessarily true. For example, I dropped her off at 930am last week and the sheet said she ate breakfast at 9am...my hunch is they just fill them out and don't cater to each child.

Am I being too critical snd should I give it more time? We thought this was a good age to transition her since she csn stay at this closer place until she is in kindergarten. Now I am unsure and unsettled. Thank you in advance! Just really struggling with where she was to where she is now and not sure if I am unsettled about centers in general or just this one.

Only you know whether you should stay or go. Here's what I can say about this:

10 children and your 14 month old was one of the oldest at her last in-home? That is atrocious! It's WAY too many babies for one person to handle. If you are considering going back to an in-home care (which I would recommend), then find one that is registered or licensed-this ensures that they are inspected and most likely will have an appropriate number of kids.

At 14-months, it's definitely time to give up the bottle-that shouldn't be an issue. The nap mat? My state recommends that kids go on cots or mats at 12 months-that COULD be a state requirement where you live. If your 14-month old is ABLE to sit at a table and eat with a spoon, then this is perfectly appropriate-there's no reason to hand feed a child who doesn't need to be and if she is ABLE to sit on a chair at a table, then she should. Cereal is perfectly appropriate for a 14 month old, barring developmental issues.

The fact that the center appears dirty is an issue. The fact that they don't seem to be providing diaper changes/nose wiping when needed is an issue.

As far as the daily sheets? I'm sure it's not negligence, but dishonestly-they're probably claiming your daughter ate breakfast so that they can be reimbursed by the food program for her meal.

If you're not comfortable with the center, then find a different situation-a better center or a different in-home. I would NOT go back to the old in-home if your child was one of the oldest-that situation is just not good, IMO.

[craftymissbeth]

Only you know whether you should stay or go. Here's what I can say about this:

10 children and your 14 month old was one of the oldest at her last in-home? That is atrocious! It's WAY too many babies for one person to handle. If you are considering going back to an in-home care (which I would recommend), then find one that is registered or licensed-this ensures that they are inspected and most likely will have an appropriate number of kids.

At 14-months, it's definitely time to give up the bottle-that shouldn't be an issue. The nap mat? My state recommends that kids go on cots or mats at 12 months-that COULD be a state requirement where you live. If your 14-month old is ABLE to sit at a table and eat with a spoon, then this is perfectly appropriate-there's no reason to hand feed a child who doesn't need to be and if she is ABLE to sit on a chair at a table, then she should. Cereal is perfectly appropriate for a 14 month old, barring developmental issues.

The fact that the center appears dirty is an issue. The fact that they don't seem to be providing diaper changes/nose wiping when needed is an issue.

As far as the daily sheets? I'm sure it's not negligence, but dishonestly-they're probably claiming your daughter ate breakfast so that they can be reimbursed by the food program for her meal.

If you're not comfortable with the center, then find a different situation-a better center or a different in-home. I would NOT go back to the old in-home if your child was one of the oldest-that situation is just not good, IMO.

[daycarediva]

Only you know whether you should stay or go. Here's what I can say about this:

10 children and your 14 month old was one of the oldest at her last in-home? That is atrocious! It's WAY too many babies for one person to handle. If you are considering going back to an in-home care (which I would recommend), then find one that is registered or licensed-this ensures that they are inspected and most likely will have an appropriate number of kids.

At 14-months, it's definitely time to give up the bottle-that shouldn't be an issue. The nap mat? My state recommends that kids go on cots or mats at 12 months-that COULD be a state requirement where you live. If your 14-month old is ABLE to sit at a table and eat with a spoon, then this is perfectly appropriate-there's no reason to hand feed a child who doesn't need to be and if she is ABLE to sit on a chair at a table, then she should. Cereal is perfectly appropriate for a 14 month old, barring developmental issues.

The fact that the center appears dirty is an issue. The fact that they don't seem to be providing diaper changes/nose wiping when needed is an issue.

As far as the daily sheets? I'm sure it's not negligence, but dishonestly-they're probably claiming your daughter ate breakfast so that they can be reimbursed by the food program for her meal.

If you're not comfortable with the center, then find a different situation-a better center or a different in-home. I would NOT go back to the old in-home if your child was one of the oldest-that situation is just not good, IMO.

I agree with this.

If you want in home style care, you're going to have to stay with an in home provider. I have families that have moved and continue to make the drive to me, out of their way each day, to keep their child in my care.

My biggest concern with your post was the ages and numbers of the children if you do go back to in home care. 10 children under age 14 months? That's never going to be accepted in any state.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I agree with this.

If you want in home style care, you're going to have to stay with an in home provider. I have families that have moved and continue to make the drive to me, out of their way each day, to keep their child in my care.

My biggest concern with your post was the ages and numbers of the children if you do go back to in home care. 10 children under age 14 months? That's never going to be accepted in any state.

UNLESS that in-home had 2 adults. I live in the south, and if I have myself and another adult present I can have 12 children of ANY age.

If I am not comfortable with a place I am supposed to leave my child then I am going to either a.) Not take my child there or b.) Have a discussion with them and see if my feelings change.

[pandamom]

I work in a NAEYC accredited center.

Most of your concerns are how centers are just run.

no bottles, one nap and on a nap mat (no cribs), structured schedule, and no high chairs (only eating at a table, fairly independently) and food that is not necessarily age appropriate (cereal and a spoon?).

Normal. Children start this once they move to the pre-toddler room at 12 months old. Cereal and spoon are offered. Caregivers work with children on using the spoon, but they are free to use their hands to eat It's all about working on self-help skills and modeling.

It can take a while for your dd to get used to the structure. I know one of my sons took about 3 months to get used to it- it was tough but his caregivers are awesome and he's come so far in the group setting.

Our center has three shifts per room- so depending on what time you drop off and pick up, it's likely you won't see the same caregiver. But there should be a core group of caregivers for the room which will keep a sense of consistency.

Is your DD a heavy pee-er? If she consistently has a full diaper of pee or poop, speak to one of the main caregivers in your DD's room. I had a child who would poop about 20 minutes before pick up (about 30 minutes after the last scheduled diaper change) and for some reason his poops didn't smell (for us to notice) and he never let us know he was uncomfortable. After the 3rd time, mom let us know and we made sure to check him and change him an additional time before pick up.

Dirty noses always bugs me and, especially in winter, I'm constantly asking kids to go get a tissues and wipe their noses or helping them. When are you picking up? If it's right when they get in from outside time, they may not have had a chance to wipe noses coming in. I keep tissues outside to wipe noses as I see them, but darn it, those boogers come out as quickly as I wipe them

ITA that having a 1 year old be the oldest out of 10 children in a home daycare is crazy! How many infants were there!?!?

[LK5kids]

If your "gut" says something is wrong, it probably is. I cringe when you say it's dirty, gets noses not wipe, a really wet diaper. I'm not a clean freak, but centers (in-home & group need to be clean and safe).

Now at the best of centers a wet diaper could happen. They may have checked her at diaper check and she was dry.

I always feel things like snotty, dirty faces signals what else are they NOT doing. I worked at a center and mixed age groups were outside. My group was the 3-5 age group. I would take Kleenex, wipes, & baggies outside.

I was the only one who would wipe noses! The other workers just let it run into their mouths. They stood around and talked to each other and ignored the kids.
It was disgusting.

The notes are nice, but honestly things can get a bit hectic in group care and note records can get mixed up. I lived it.
I had 3-5's, but at the end of the day I went over to the 2's side of the group with my group and things like their notes, diaper changing ( workers who were suppose to change their kiddos diapers before clocking out and not doing it) lost shoes and socks from earlier in the day, etc. happened a lot and it was all honestly hectic and crazy!

Is your child happy there? Is the wet diaper an everyday happening at pick up, etc.? Go with your gut feelings.

[Josiegirl]

How is it going?
I only have an in-home daycare but sometimes I miss the runny nose or they poop 10 minutes before a parent picks up and I had already changed them plus my nose doesn't detect it. It certainly doesn't happen all the time but when it does I feel so inadequate!!
If you're still truly dis-satisfied with her center, maybe you could look around your area for another family child care?