Teasing and Terminate the Contract?

[Josiegirl]

Well in many ways, a providers hands are tied, there just isn't a ton a provider can do. Yes, we can talk to parents and let them know that there is an issue with a child's behavior, but a huge issue we face is the parents following through with us to stop that behavior. Also, kids do tease and say things and it is the adults job to teach them it isn't nice, is not appropriate and all that, but that teaching takes time. I know it can be hard when your child is involved and at the end of the day if you feel it is to much then go ahead and terminate the contract. You may have to pay but if it is so severe that you feel you need to, then you need to do what is best for your child.

I agree but I also question how bad the teasing is. 'Your mom is a poo-poo' isn't exactly something to pull your child and owe all that money for. IMO so take it for what it's worth. As I asked earlier, is there another parent that you know well enough to get some insider info about? Only you know how awful the teasing is; we really don't know because we don't have much info.

[CraftyMom]

I agree that it doesn't seem to me from what was posted that the teasing is severe enough to term. Of course it depends on how uncomfortable it makes you and your child feel.

As she gets older kids will say much worse things, just having fun and not trying to intentionally hurt feelings.

Before terming you should talk to the provider again and let her know that you feel it is more serious than she does. Let her know that if it continues you may have to find other care. It sounds like she doesn't know you feel this way, and that she feels the teasing is minor. From what I've read I also think it is minor, but I am not there to see.

[daycarediva]

Thank you all for your suggestion!

Yes, I know 3-month sounds crazy and it is even crazier that I signed it. But we never had this kind of problem with daycare before and I thought this is the one I like so I didn't think I will let my daughter leave until she goes to kindergarten (she is 4 right now but won't go to kindergarten for another 1.5 year).

I did talk to the provider but she thinks that it is ONLY teasing and she told them to stop. But the thing is she only said "stop saying that!" And that's it. I think she should take this more seriously and talk to both sides.

Teasing is not the only reason I decided to pull her out. There is a boy there who said to my daughter "your mom is a poo poo" and the teacher only told him he shouldn't say that. She didn't even ask him to apologize to me.

I understand these situation happens everywhere, but I do think that adults are responsible to take it seriously and teach children the proper behavior. I definitely will pull her out but is also thinking should I let her stay for these three months to learn how to deal with teasing and bad influence. I want her to know that mom will always be there to help and protect her, and she can come to me with any problem. But I also don't want her to cry for mommy when every time there is a problem occurs. I think there is a fine line there.

Btw, Snowflake is her nickname but it has no negative meaning in my native language. She was born in the winter and her brother's nickname is Snowball

I have a dcb who has 'potty' as a second language. It's very common for him to say/call a potty name. He isn't a bully or teasing, he's just a 4yo boy. 4yo boys DO that. Other then tell him no, we don't say that, it isn't nice. What else CAN I do? Your provider may have spoken to the parents as well.

I do think with just the examples stated- you're being overly sensitive, and that your daughter is as well. It doesn't sound like verbal abuse/teasing it sounds like normal kid stuff. Throughout the day here, kids say "You're not my friend." "I don't like you." etc and all I CAN do is interject with more acceptable words/phrases that itsn't nice and hurts feelings. You MAY say "I don't want to play with you right now." Get my drift? The other kids are learning how to interact acceptably.

In the same token, your dd is learning as well. She may hear normal kid things and blow it out of proportion. I would use it as a learning opportunity and help her learn to handle it. Give her words to use and help her build some resilience before she enters kindergarten, because it's a WHOLE new ballgame there and the teacher will NOT intervene every time someone hurts her feelings. She WILL be expected to use her words and handle things herself unless she is being physically harmed.

[ACH247]

I think this is right time to let her know if someone is messing with you, turn around and slap them in the face. Then she will term immediately and won't have to pay. :-) j/k

But seriously, I did a role play with my daughter to let her know how to handle these situations because it normally will happen when they get older and I wanted her to know how to handle herself but if she ever comes to me saying that kids are teasing her and I feel it is too much, I will remove her from the school. Bullies are terrible.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have a dcb who has 'potty' as a second language. It's very common for him to say/call a potty name. He isn't a bully or teasing, he's just a 4yo boy. 4yo boys DO that. Other then tell him no, we don't say that, it isn't nice. What else CAN I do? Your provider may have spoken to the parents as well.

I do think with just the examples stated- you're being overly sensitive, and that your daughter is as well. It doesn't sound like verbal abuse/teasing it sounds like normal kid stuff. Throughout the day here, kids say "You're not my friend." "I don't like you." etc and all I CAN do is interject with more acceptable words/phrases that itsn't nice and hurts feelings. You MAY say "I don't want to play with you right now." Get my drift? The other kids are learning how to interact acceptably.

In the same token, your dd is learning as well. She may hear normal kid things and blow it out of proportion. I would use it as a learning opportunity and help her learn to handle it. Give her words to use and help her build some resilience before she enters kindergarten, because it's a WHOLE new ballgame there and the teacher will NOT intervene every time someone hurts her feelings. She WILL be expected to use her words and handle things herself unless she is being physically harmed.

I totally agree. I actually think that removing her would be doing her a huge disservice as well. Just my two cents.