Holidays and Summer Break

[Unregistered]

Hello, I have been lurking on these forums for a while and I have learned a lot from all of you! I was hoping for some advice about holidays and summer break.

I have a "regular" job (full-time hours, M-F, not very flexible), and my husband is tied to the academic calendar (2 semesters of teaching with a substantial winter break and summer break).

Our son is 17 months and he attends a day care center. He loves the center.

Loves. It.

He comes home filthy and tired, always happy to be there, clearly well-cared-for, the whole deal. They feed him more sugar than we do at home, but if that's the only thing I can find to complain about I figure we've got a pretty good thing going. We get good communication from his teachers (weekly lesson plans, daily reports, menu posted online, they take a minute to talk to me when I pick him up, etc.). All this is to say that we're really happy with the care he is receiving.

So my question is, in your experienced opinions, what's the best way to handle the times of year when my husband's schedule is more flexible? He's not really "off" during those breaks, as he's still got lots of responsibilities on campus and it's also when he completes his own scholarly work, but he is certainly not working hard-at-it full time like he is during the school year.

We don't necessarily want to keep our son in care full time during the summers, but we also don't want to create problems either for him or for his providers. As we see it there are 3 options, none of them ideal:

1. We keep him in care full time. My husband doesn't get to spend extra time with him, and our son doesn't get to experience that lazy "summer" feeling of not being on a tight schedule (this would be a bigger deal when he's older, I'd imagine).

2. We keep him home full time during the breaks. We actually tried this during last year's winter break when he was still an infant (6-7 months). It was very bad--my husband didn't get any work done, and when it was time to go back for spring semester we had to transition all over again--it was like he'd never been to the center before. Obviously he's older now, but we don't want to put him through that twice a year.

3. We keep him in care part time. This seems like it would be great, but I've seen so many threads on here lamenting how part-time kids are the worst--would we be setting up our son and/or his caregivers for big problems by doing this? And if we do it, what's the best way to go about it? Half-days every day? Full days a few times a week?

Thanks in advance for any advice you might have!

[Cat Herder]

Don't be afraid of keeping him out part time. :hug: If he is already happy there, the chances of him not adjusting well when back to full time is lowered, IMHE.

True, that developmentally he is right smack in the middle of the "stranger panic" phase... :::: ... but I think your provider will let you know if he can handle it. Some kids are just laid back like that. They may even set out a time to come for the most fun things in the morning and then leave before nap?

My only concern would be payment. Most centers (and home providers, like me) will still expect payment in full whether your child attends or not. Make sure you are aware of that policy with your provider... I would hate for them to feel hurt by having that policy challenged after the way you described them.

[Blackcat31]

How about you pay for a full time space thus reserving his spot at ALL times and spend as much time with him as you want to.

That would be MY personal choice as a provider and a parent.

It's a win for you, your DH and your son because you can spend as much time with him as you want to which is FANTASTIC!

And it's a win for the center because they won't suffer any type of financial set back or have trouble trying to accommodate a part timer around your schedule.

HTH

Please feel free to register.....parent opinions and perspectives are VERY welcome here!

[Hazel]

I have a family where mom is a teacher. They keep full time spot but are more flexible. Sometimes off on a Friday, drop off later, pick up a little earlier. They still pay the full time rate to hold her spot. At 17 months it's a good idea to keep their schedule some what consistent.

[snbauser]

I would agree that if you can financially afford it, pay for the full time spot. Just because you pay for it though, doesn't mean you need to use it. But it will give your dh flexibility to get done what he needs to. Just be sure to communicate with your provider when he will or won't be there or if you will be dropping of later or picking up earlier so they can plan accordingly. If it's a beautiful day and your dh wants to suddenly take him to spend the day at the park, just notify them that you will be keeping him home that day, etc.

[Unregistered]

OP here

Thanks for all the feedback!

It's good to hear that part time isn't always a bad thing for toddlers. I think he would do OK--I just don't want to put him through a whole new adjustment as I'm sure we would have to if we pulled him entirely for months at a time.

Since everyone mentioned payment--we're definitely going to be paying for his full-time slot regardless. That's the center's policy and we totally get it since they have a long waiting list (we were lucky to get in when he was an infant).

I really think that sending him part time during breaks is the way to go and we'll definitely keep in touch with his caregivers about when he will and won't be there. It's a tough balance to find, with keeping him to his routine but also taking advantage of my husband's lighter work times. Now if I could only find a job like that! I'll be sitting in my cube thinking about them having fun...

[sahm1225]

Thanks for all the feedback!

It's good to hear that part time isn't always a bad thing for toddlers. I think he would do OK--I just don't want to put him through a whole new adjustment as I'm sure we would have to if we pulled him entirely for months at a time.

Since everyone mentioned payment--we're definitely going to be paying for his full-time slot regardless. That's the center's policy and we totally get it since they have a long waiting list (we were lucky to get in when he was an infant).

I really think that sending him part time during breaks is the way to go and we'll definitely keep in touch with his caregivers about when he will and won't be there. It's a tough balance to find, with keeping him to his routine but also taking advantage of my husband's lighter work times. Now if I could only find a job like that! I'll be sitting in my cube thinking about them having fun...

I currently three teacher families (2 full time- one is an infant the other just turned 3) During the summer we dropped to part time (2-3 days a week) and shorter days for the child. Then my 3rd teacher family is actually my nephew & he just turned 5. Last summer his parents have him the option to stay home or come to daycare. He stayed home for about a month and then called me begging me to come to daycare::

On a side note, I have 13 kids enrolled and only 3 are full time. I think certain kids do well with being part time (parents have flexible schedules & keep them home when they can).

[Rachel]

I have had two systems with parents who are more flexible work wise, and they both worked well. One was they picked up every day after lunch (we lunch before nap), and if they wanted the full day they just told me in the morning, no problem. The second is they asked me to send an SMS when the child woke up from nap and then came to get him. Also a lot of times when one parent is not working the child will come later. As long as it fits in the schedule, I think it's great parents want to spend more time with their kids! One thing to be aware of is a child who gets used to going right after lunch or nap every single day will sometimes get anxious or upset if s/he isn't, so it makes sense as your husband will need full time care again to wean him back to his regular time so he doesnt' all of a sudden one day freak out that he goes from the first picked up to the last.

[pandamom]

ITA with what the other ppl said about doing part time. As a center caregiver, the kids LOVED it when parents came to pick them up early.

And as a parent who had kids enrolled in the same center, my husband would keep my boys home when he had a day off or pick them up early after getting things done on his days off.