Another kid always sick

[nannyde]

This is a textbook classic example of why I don't allow parents in the playroom and I don't host onsite breastfeeding.

If I had a parent talk to another parent about their child they would be terminated instantly. If I had to choose between the sick crier and the mom who had an opinion about the sick crier the mom who had the opinion would go not the crier.

You have someone who allows you to hang out for an hour every day. That is something I don't allow because the parent who is in my business for five hours a week has an opinion. That opinion always has something to do with what their baby gets.

If you want to talk to the provider and give your opinion then that's cool. I would just tell her what YOU are going to do not what SHE should do. If she is wise she will know this is a fish or cut bait deal and she needs to decide which fish to keep.

If it were me, I would keep the crying fish not the opinion fish.

I'm not hammering you... PLEASE PLEASE don't take it that way. What I'm saying is that your set up with the provider is way more of an issue to me than the crying kid. I would easily be able to handle that by space and routine.

I don't allow my babies to go ANYWHERE near each other for a very long time into their infancy. If they are transferring illness to each other than they should be completely separated all day every day. Your provider may just need some infant training to solve this. Maybe suggest she come here and get some advice. Once we know her physical set up and children we can give advice for the crier AND how to manage you. She needs to put measures in place so that the issues she has with you don't happen again with another client. She needs to set some boundaries with her clients so that they NEVER have an IOTA or inkling to interfere with her money. Something has happened with you and her where she hasn't shown you that this would be a slam dunk insta term if you considered it.

[Thriftylady]

It is possible this crier isn't sick at all. My daughter had these same symptoms as a baby, it was allergies. She was "sick" daily for several years until she got old enough for a good allergy med combination. She still takes allergy meds (two kinds) daily for allergies that lead to asthma attacks.

As a provider, I agree that you are being given a lot by being allowed to come and stay on your lunch hour every day. I wouldn't want a parent there that much either, it would just be disruptive to my routine. I do encourage parents to drop in, and even though I am just restarting in the past I welcomed
drop ins with open arms. But coming every day is not a drop in.

If you are happy with the care your children are getting, then I would leave it alone. If you are not happy with the care, then you can always move your children, but keep in mind that group care always has its challenges and no home will be perfect.

[Unregistered]

A mother has a right to breastfeed her child whenever and where ever. That extends to home daycares. I consulted licensing in my state on this. So legally, she can't term or say I'm not allowed to do this. However, licensing did say that it was common courtesy to notify the daycare provider of the times I would be showing up prior to start of care. Reason for this is some moms (I don't have a problem with it) have a difficult time pumping. The girls just don't respond the same way. When I was looking for providers, I made it known that it was my wish to breastfeed over my lunch, and that I would show up around the same time everyday. There were some days where I choose to go to lunch with my husband, and I let her know this. Now there's been times where she's given him a small bottle about 30 minutes prior because he just couldn't wait. I'm perfectly okay with that.

As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall. How do I truly know how my child is being taken care of? There's only so much that can be gained and observed during an interview. A provider who doesn't want a parent to stop by is either a) hiding something or b) not confident in their abilities. I do not distract her or upset her routine, and I consulted her on the best time for me to stop by. We agreed that my lunch period was perfect because he takes his afternoon right after. I go by, play with him for a bit, change him, and rock him to sleep. I believe I've done everything I possibly could to make this as smoothe as possible.

Again, my reasoning for thinking about talking to the other mom was merely to see if she could relate. My son has had the gunk her son passed on for 10 days now. He's congested and has a cough making it difficult to sleep at night. We are doing all we can at home, but we're exhausted and hate seeing our little one sick again. And yes I know this other child has been sick because it's green snot..allergies don't produce green snot. Teething doesn't produce green snot. I also don't think it's fair for one child to monopolize over 50% of her time when there's 3 other children at the daycare that also need her attention.

[KidGrind]

A mother has a right to breastfeed her child whenever and where ever. That extends to home daycares. I consulted licensing in my state on this. So legally, she can't term or say I'm not allowed to do this. However, licensing did say that it was common courtesy to notify the daycare provider of the times I would be showing up prior to start of care. Reason for this is some moms (I don't have a problem with it) have a difficult time pumping. The girls just don't respond the same way. When I was looking for providers, I made it known that it was my wish to breastfeed over my lunch, and that I would show up around the same time everyday. There were some days where I choose to go to lunch with my husband, and I let her know this. Now there's been times where she's given him a small bottle about 30 minutes prior because he just couldn't wait. I'm perfectly okay with that.

As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall. How do I truly know how my child is being taken care of? There's only so much that can be gained and observed during an interview. A provider who doesn't want a parent to stop by is either a) hiding something or b) not confident in their abilities. I do not distract her or upset her routine, and I consulted her on the best time for me to stop by. We agreed that my lunch period was perfect because he takes his afternoon right after. I go by, play with him for a bit, change him, and rock him to sleep. I believe I've done everything I possibly could to make this as smoothe as possible.

Again, my reasoning for thinking about talking to the other mom was merely to see if she could relate. My son has had the gunk her son passed on for 10 days now. He's congested and has a cough making it difficult to sleep at night. We are doing all we can at home, but we're exhausted and hate seeing our little one sick again. And yes I know this other child has been sick because it's green snot..allergies don't produce green snot. Teething doesn't produce green snot. I also don't think it's fair for one child to monopolize over 50% of her time when there's 3 other children at the daycare that also need her attention.

You would not be my client. I run a home business. There is no space in my daycare area for you to breastfeed. I also respect the rights of my other families in care.

I think it’s awesome your provider allows you do this. If you would be so kind and copy & paste the section where a provider must open her home business up for you to breastfeed. I am aware you must always have access to your child. Always having access to your child does not mean you can come and go as you please. It does not mean you have a right to breastfeed in anyone’s home.

My DCP’s come visit weekly, nothing to hide. However, visits can be disruptive and my concern is the group. Any parent wishing to breastfeed in my home is told it’s not an option. They sign on or they don’t, no hard feelings. You’ve only witnessed 50% of one hour with is 30 minutes per day.

[Thriftylady]

You would not be my client. I run a home business. There is no space in my daycare area for you to breastfeed. I also respect the rights of my other families in care.

I think it’s awesome your provider allows you do this. If you would be so kind and copy & paste the section where a provider my open her home business up for you to breastfeed. I am aware they you must always have access to your child. Always having access to your child does not mean you can come and go as you please. It does not mean you have a right to breastfeed in anyone’s home.

My DCP’s come visit weekly, nothing to hide. However, visits can be disruptive and my concern is the group. Any parent wishing to breastfeed in my home is told it’s not an option. They sign on or they don’t, no hard feelings. You’ve only witnessed 50% of one hour with is 30 minutes.

Agreed, I would never tell a parent they can't come in and see what is going on. Staying for an hour I wouldn't allow. Neither state I have lived in says I have to let a parent in to breastfeed. If a parent demanded it, I would just tell them they needed to find another provider. It is MY home I pay the bills and I make the rules. If it is that big big of a problem, I suggest you find another provider and give your current one a proper notice as per your contract. Personally if I were her, I would have NEVER agreed to what she has and would love to see a link to the rule saying she has to allow it just because I have never seen such a thing.

[Blackcat31]

Please post the regulation stating your beliefs about breastfeeding in a home daycare.

Your location comes up as Kansas. We have several members on the board form Kansas. I am sure they can clarify any misinterpretations you are reading.

[nannyde]

A mother has a right to breastfeed her child whenever and where ever. That extends to home daycares. I consulted licensing in my state on this. So legally, she can't term or say I'm not allowed to do this. However, licensing did say that it was common courtesy to notify the daycare provider of the times I would be showing up prior to start of care. Reason for this is some moms (I don't have a problem with it) have a difficult time pumping. The girls just don't respond the same way. When I was looking for providers, I made it known that it was my wish to breastfeed over my lunch, and that I would show up around the same time everyday. There were some days where I choose to go to lunch with my husband, and I let her know this. Now there's been times where she's given him a small bottle about 30 minutes prior because he just couldn't wait. I'm perfectly okay with that.

As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall. How do I truly know how my child is being taken care of? There's only so much that can be gained and observed during an interview. A provider who doesn't want a parent to stop by is either a) hiding something or b) not confident in their abilities. I do not distract her or upset her routine, and I consulted her on the best time for me to stop by. We agreed that my lunch period was perfect because he takes his afternoon right after. I go by, play with him for a bit, change him, and rock him to sleep. I believe I've done everything I possibly could to make this as smoothe as possible.

Again, my reasoning for thinking about talking to the other mom was merely to see if she could relate. My son has had the gunk her son passed on for 10 days now. He's congested and has a cough making it difficult to sleep at night. We are doing all we can at home, but we're exhausted and hate seeing our little one sick again. And yes I know this other child has been sick because it's green snot..allergies don't produce green snot. Teething doesn't produce green snot. I also don't think it's fair for one child to monopolize over 50% of her time when there's 3 other children at the daycare that also need her attention.

I don't give a flip what your rights are. I don't allow ANY parent to come and feed their child on site. I don't allow formula fed infants to be fed onsite. I don't allow children with eating disorders be fed onsite. There's nothing special about you and your child's manner of eating. If your child attended my child care he would have to be proficient on the bottle and you would have to be able to provide the milk. If you couldn't do either than you wouldn't enroll. I don't enroll mothers who need to feed onsite instead of pump. I don't accept babies who are proficient on the bottle.

If you tried to force me into allowing you to feed onsite you would get by with it on day one... but you wouldn't be enrolled on day two. If you want to involve the law then the law will be involved. In the meantime you will be feeding somewhere else. I'm willing to take whatever comes my way regarding your rights.

This is MY house. MY rules. MY business.

You are not my employer and your child is just ONE child in my home. I will not allow you to interfere because your BAYBEEEEEEE is in my house. I can get another BABY just as easily as I got you.

You said As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall.

As a provider I know the number one risk to your baby is YOU. Statistics overwhelmingly show the number one killer of children is their MOTHER. The number one abuser of children is their MOTHER. I have to worry every day that you didn't slam your kid up against the wall before you dropped him off at my house. I run the risk every day that a parent does something or allows something that injures their child and once it is discovered "I" am on the hook for it because time frames of injury are not easily assessed. I have to have my whole livelihood at stake because of something YOU did.

This affects me and my kid after all.

So you and I have to trust each other. I can't tell much by interviewing you. I can't tell if you have a temper. I can't tell if you lie. I can't tell if you will supervise your infant so he doesn't fall down a flight of stairs. I can't tell if you dope your kid before you bring them with a lethal dose of advil and Tylenol because you wanted to go to work when he had a blazing fever.

See how that goes both ways?

You got the tail waggin the dog there friend. There's nothing special about your deal. You have the nerve to think you can talk to my money so you don't loose your money? You aren't talking to one of my parents no matter if you put nice little words together as to "why" you want to.

The reason you can't feed onsite is because your involvement in my business will affect my business. You may think it's okay to have an opinion on one of my daycare kids and be bold enough to think you can address it with his mother.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU CAN'T BREASTFEED ONSITE.

Get it?

This is my business and until you get that straight you will go through providers like paper towels.

[Thriftylady]

Please post the regulation stating your beliefs about breastfeeding in a home daycare.

Your location comes up as Kansas. We have several members on the board form Kansas. I am sure they can clarify any misinterpretations you are reading.

I was licensed in KS in the early 2000's and there was no such regulation then. I had many infants and never once had a mother even ask to come and breastfeed.

[Blackcat31]

I don't give a flip what your rights are. I don't allow ANY parent to come and feed their child on site. I don't allow formula fed infants to be fed onsite. I don't allow children with eating disorders be fed onsite. There's nothing special about you and your child's manner of eating. If your child attended my child care he would have to be proficient on the bottle and you would have to be able to provide the milk. If you couldn't do either than you wouldn't enroll. I don't enroll mothers who need to feed onsite instead of pump. I don't accept babies who are proficient on the bottle.

If you tried to force me into allowing you to feed onsite you would get by with it on day one... but you wouldn't be enrolled on day two. If you want to involve the law then the law will be involved. In the meantime you will be feeding somewhere else. I'm willing to take whatever comes my way regarding your rights.

This is MY house. MY rules. MY business.

You are not my employer and your child is just ONE child in my home. I will not allow you to interfere because your BAYBEEEEEEE is in my house. I can get another BABY just as easily as I got you.

You said As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall.

As a provider I know the number one risk to your baby is YOU. Statistics overwhelmingly show the number one killer of children is their MOTHER. The number one abuser of children is their MOTHER. I have to worry every day that you didn't slam your kid up against the wall before you dropped him off at my house. I run the risk every day that a parent does something or allows something that injures their child and once it is discovered "I" am on the hook for it because time frames of injury are not easily assessed. I have to have my whole livelihood at stake because of something YOU did.

This affects me and my kid after all.

So you and I have to trust each other. I can't tell much by interviewing you. I can't tell if you have a temper. I can't tell if you lie. I can't tell if you will supervise your infant so he doesn't fall down a flight of stairs. I can't tell if you dope your kid before you bring them with a lethal dose of advil and Tylenol because you wanted to go to work when he had a blazing fever.

See how that goes both ways?

You got the tail waggin the dog there friend. There's nothing special about your deal. You have the nerve to think you can talk to my money so you don't loose your money? You aren't talking to one of my parents no matter if you put nice little words together as to "why" you want to.

The reason you can't feed onsite is because your involvement in my business will affect my business. You may think it's okay to have an opinion on one of my daycare kids and be bold enough to think you can address it with his mother.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU CAN'T BREASTFEED ONSITE.

Get it?

This is my business and until you get that straight you will go through providers like paper towels.

Funny how the parent NEVER sees (or admits if they do) the other side of their argument.

If a parent wants to be specific about the care her child gets and is not happy with the way the provider does things, then the parent has two choices.

Find a nanny (or new care provider) or care for the child yourself and not place ridiculous stipulations onto the provider.

The second, you tried to support your argument with the law would be the last day I would keep you as a client too.

Parents and providers work together in a trusting relationship.

Not solely based on ONE parents needs or requests or misguided beliefs about the law.

[nannyde]

Funny how the parent NEVER sees (or admits if they do) the other side of their argument.

If a parent wants to be specific about the care her child gets and is not happy with the way the provider does things, then the parent has two choices.

Find a nanny (or new care provider) or care for the child yourself and not place ridiculous stipulations onto the provider.

The second, you tried to support your argument with the law would be the last day I would keep you as a client too.

Parents and providers work together in a trusting relationship.

Not solely based on ONE parents needs or requests or misguided beliefs about the law.

I don't get the complete lack of insight when op's behavior is the EXACT reason why she wouldn't be allowed to breastfeed at my house.

[Leigh]

I don't give a flip what your rights are. I don't allow ANY parent to come and feed their child on site. I don't allow formula fed infants to be fed onsite. I don't allow children with eating disorders be fed onsite. There's nothing special about you and your child's manner of eating. If your child attended my child care he would have to be proficient on the bottle and you would have to be able to provide the milk. If you couldn't do either than you wouldn't enroll. I don't enroll mothers who need to feed onsite instead of pump. I don't accept babies who are proficient on the bottle.

If you tried to force me into allowing you to feed onsite you would get by with it on day one... but you wouldn't be enrolled on day two. If you want to involve the law then the law will be involved. In the meantime you will be feeding somewhere else. I'm willing to take whatever comes my way regarding your rights.

This is MY house. MY rules. MY business.

You are not my employer and your child is just ONE child in my home. I will not allow you to interfere because your BAYBEEEEEEE is in my house. I can get another BABY just as easily as I got you.

You said As a parent, I have a huge issue with daycare providers not wanting a parent to show up. You are taking care of my kid afterall.

As a provider I know the number one risk to your baby is YOU. Statistics overwhelmingly show the number one killer of children is their MOTHER. The number one abuser of children is their MOTHER. I have to worry every day that you didn't slam your kid up against the wall before you dropped him off at my house. I run the risk every day that a parent does something or allows something that injures their child and once it is discovered "I" am on the hook for it because time frames of injury are not easily assessed. I have to have my whole livelihood at stake because of something YOU did.

This affects me and my kid after all.

So you and I have to trust each other. I can't tell much by interviewing you. I can't tell if you have a temper. I can't tell if you lie. I can't tell if you will supervise your infant so he doesn't fall down a flight of stairs. I can't tell if you dope your kid before you bring them with a lethal dose of advil and Tylenol because you wanted to go to work when he had a blazing fever.

See how that goes both ways?

You got the tail waggin the dog there friend. There's nothing special about your deal. You have the nerve to think you can talk to my money so you don't loose your money? You aren't talking to one of my parents no matter if you put nice little words together as to "why" you want to.

The reason you can't feed onsite is because your involvement in my business will affect my business. You may think it's okay to have an opinion on one of my daycare kids and be bold enough to think you can address it with his mother.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU CAN'T BREASTFEED ONSITE.

Get it?

This is my business and until you get that straight you will go through providers like paper towels.

Funny how the parent NEVER sees (or admits if they do) the other side of their argument.

If a parent wants to be specific about the care her child gets and is not happy with the way the provider does things, then the parent has two choices.

Find a nanny (or new care provider) or care for the child yourself and not place ridiculous stipulations onto the provider.

The second, you tried to support your argument with the law would be the last day I would keep you as a client too.

Parents and providers work together in a trusting relationship.

Not solely based on ONE parents needs or requests or misguided beliefs about the law.

There's nothing to add to this. I am so sick of hearing "I PAY you, and you WILL do as I wish". There's a reason that I am SELF employed-I hate dealing with entitled, whiny people. Being my own boss ensures that I don't have to.

[Unregistered]

Again, I called licensing to ask about breastfeeding. Home daycare are considered a business, but they are licensed by a state agency even though they are a private business. She said it's the same as breastfeeding in a privately owned store. Again, haven't seen the book, just going off of what the licensing place told me. I can tell you that coming to this site has given me an extremely sick feeling about daycare providers in the world today. I have never felt such a lack of respect and lack of understanding from a group of people. I don't know how your parents feel comfortable talking to you when if they mention one concern you will term them. For the record...I went through 3 daycare places with my daughter....

Place 1: licensed church facility (6weeks to just under 1 year) - left because I caught one lady picking at her "business" and then handling infants. And one of the workers tried to kiss my husband.

Place 2: licensed facility (1-3 years) - I thought everything was okay until I actually worked there as a cook (between jobs). Her teacher was leaving 3 year olds unattended for 10 minute periods so she could use the bathroom. Teacher (also assistant director) also had her drug addicted boyfriend coming by the facility while the director was away. Would not have known these things unless I was there. Teacher was also frequently yelling at children, and I witnessed her grab children and jerk them down by their arms. Again, all of this came in complete shock to me. When I'd picked my daughter up from daycare and dropped her off, I never witnessed these behaviors/actions. My daughter started chewing on her hair, and it wasn't until after we left that I came to believe that this was a stress induced behavior.

Place 3: licensed facility (3 - Kindergarten) - I actually really loved this place. I had one small issue that I addressed with the teachers on a couple of occasions and then the director. When enrolled, we were asked to provide an old shirt or cover up for messier food days/art projects. The shirts were obviously not being used so she was being sent home with very messy clothes (several were permanetly stained because it had set in).

I guess I see nothing wrong with being an involved and concerned parent. I'm certainly not a helicopter parent. I expect my children to follow the rules set by their provider. Just like in life, rules are different everywhere you go. I think it's good skill for my children to learn while they are young. However, I disagree on some practices when it involves my child's health and mental well-being. I think any good parent would. If a parent continously sits back and says nothing and is all go with flow on everything, that would be the parent I would be the most concerned about.

[craftymissbeth]

Please post the regulation stating your beliefs about breastfeeding in a home daycare.

Your location comes up as Kansas. We have several members on the board form Kansas. I am sure they can clarify any misinterpretations you are reading.

No regs in Kansas that say parents have a right to breast feed in family child cares. We have an "open door" regulation, but it simply means we cannot prevent a parent access to their child. Which obviously just means we can't not let a parent have their child.

[Unregistered]

Just got off the phone with them to clarify where she was looking. She referred me to the Kansas state statute 65-1,248.

[craftymissbeth]

OP - here are the Kansas regs for centers and FCC's. Nowhere does it say that providers are required to allow breast feeding on the premises.

http://www.kdheks.gov/bcclr/regs/ccc/Preschools_and_Child_Care_Centers_all_sections.pdf

http://www.kdheks.gov/bcclr/regs/lic_group_daycare/Day_Care_homes_and_Group_Day_Care_all_sections.pdf

You can find these reg books at kdheks.gov/kidsnet