Biting @ Daycare

[Unregistered]

Update

I posted on 09-18-2008. Here's what has happened. After my posting my son continue to be bit almost every day by some other toddler. Supposedly, 5 different toddlers and a different toddler each day. He always had a bruise on his face or arm. I looked and looked for other daycare. Finally, I decided to take him to another building run by the same daycare company. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!! He hasn't been bit. He doesn't wake up screeming at night like he had a bad dream. It is just wonderfull. My advice. If you child is either bitting or being bit. Take the child to a different daycare. Almost curtain there is something going on at the daycare that is causing problems. It could be anything from the schedule, to the other childern, to even the daycare people. Who knows because the child can't tell you. But it does make a difference being in a different enviroment. The new center I do see that the lady's that work in the toddler room are much more caring and loving. They will actually pick up a child that is crying. The other daycare had a lady that I never saw her hold one of the toddlers except to pick them up to change them. She preferred to carry the clip board around to write notes down and keep up with her huge amount of paperwork she was always complaining about.

Advice for daycare centers. Find a way for the people working there to care for the childern and quit filling out paperwork! This was the 2nd daycare center I had this same problem with. Give them a specific time of day to step out to do the paperwork. Not expect to take up a toddler eating table to do the work. Toddlers and childern need attention and loving care. NOT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO FILL PAPERWORK OUT!!!!

[Michael]

Update on Biting at Daycare

Thanks for the update! Remember, even before your baby is born, you are your child's best and most important advocate. It seems difficult after finally placing your child in a daycare to start thinking about finding another. There are choices and we need to find the ones that benefit our children the most. It is a constant quest for quality. For those looking for other daycare facilities:

https://www.daycare.com/listing.html

Our story:

https://www.daycare.com/story/index.html

[Unregistered]

It is so easy for a biter to bite, even when closely watched. I handle biters (actually all issues) with the parent/s knowing everything going on. A repeat biter is never left alone with others, they don't go inside closed tunnel play places (McDonald's, etc...), they will have to sit out or stay home and we explain why, it is a safety/health issue.
In every case of repeat biters, if a parent (only parent) bites a child back, they stop (I know many will object - but we have seen it work, every time "bunerous times"). It needs to be done carefully and on their finger, with the back teeth, as follows:
1. First the parent has to say "no biting, biting hurts, ouchy" (that plants the idea it hurts)
2. Take their finger and with back teeth, bite down just enough for it to not feel good and hold that pressure for about 5 seconds (not biting down any harder) Try it on yourself first, you don't have to bite hard, but holding a mild pressure does the trick (it can't be to soft or they will laugh and not feel the lesson). Make sure that after you do it, yoou say, ouchy, biting hurts (the words you use and the attitude you display, is very important) I have had so many parents try it and so many confirm biting works to show them it hurts. You might have to adjust the pressure, but it is the 5 seconds or so that makes them feel like they are being bit hard. Try it yourself, it isn't wounding them and it works. A biter can cause a lot of damage and get a child to be a repeat biter, getting kicked out of multiple daycares, which does more damage to the biter and can make them end up being a problem child.

[Unregistered]

what do you think?

My child just started at a new daycare and last thursday was bitten twice in the same arm by the same child. She was being shadowed after the first bite but when the second bite happened the teacher was tieing another child's shoe. They went the bitter home after the second bite that day. I kept him home from daycare friday. My guess is she would've bit him again that day as well. The following monday the same child bites my son on the face this time and she is immediately sent home. I'm irrate as you can imagine! All the center can tell me is that they are moving her to another room and that she is not being put on probation or anything else. The lady at the desk did share with me that my son is the second child she has bitten and keep in mind that she has now bit my son 3 times now, twice on the arm and 1 time on the face. They said if she bites while in the new room then she will be put on one week probation. All this seems like she is being given way too many chances and should have already been kicked out, especially after biting a child in the face. She has targeted my son the past 3 times she has bitten in a matter of days and no further action has been taken yet. I"m at a loss of what to do????? what do you think????

[Unregistered]

Biting

Dear Judy,
I worked in a licenced child care center for nearly 20 years. There was a boy many years ago who was CONSTANLY biting the children. Believe me he wasn't even 2 years old and he was quick!
Anyway the director was more concerned about money than her center. When several parents finally ganged up on her and said either you kick him out or we are taking our children out she got scared and asked him to leave. However this was a Tuesday and she told the parent that they could finish out the week.
Ironic it seemed that on that last Friday this biter bit the rocking chair SO hard it cracked the wood. The director said oh well...he's gone after today!
Sad to say but sometimes people see green before their eyes and not the children they are required to be caring for.

[Unregistered]

Biting in Day Care

My child has been bitten like 5 times in the past month. They wont tell me if it is the same child or not. I think if it is they should be watching this child closer or removing the child from the day care. I'm unsure what I can do about the situation. I hate taking my son somewhere where he keeps getting bit.

[ConcernedMotherof2]

I've never spoken to a parent who hasn't gone through the biting phase. All children try it and every child is different in how they get over it. I am lucky that my children got over it rather quickly (maybe it was because they are very close in age and i was able to deal with it at home myself, rather than having to trust the day care staff). The worst situation I ever encountered with a biter was actually the child of the owner of the daycare my children were attending in Pennsylvania. The preschool teacher was unable to tell me which child was biting my children, but my children told me themselves. The confrontation was difficult... I tried to make it parent to parent, but it was also parent to daycare staff. However, I believe that the communication between the parent of the biter and the parent of the bitten child was essential in dealing with the problem. It took some time and a lot of patience on all of our parts, but doesn't every problem involving children take time and patience? There are no enemies when dealing with such a problem, and the more involved we are as parents, the quicker we can resolve behavior issues.

[Unregistered]

Biting at daycare!

I have also had the same issue at the daycare that my son attends. He was playing outside and another child walked up and stuck his fingers in my sons mouth, so my son bit down. Well then the child grabbed my son's arm and nawed on it like an ear of corn breaking the skin. The staff didn't even bother to notify me about the incident until I picked him up at 6pm and it had happened at 3pm. I asked for a copy of the incident report, and the manager informed me that they don't file reports for incidents.

[Unregistered]

Help my son is a bitter

I've read some pretty interesting comments on this blog.. I am in search like many, it seems for help. My 2 year old son was just expelled from DC today for continual bitting. I can go on an explained the different things that happened that got us to this point, but I fear that it wouldn't matter. He doesn't bite at home because he is an only child, however on occasion he will bit my nieces and nephews when he is upset or frustrated. When he does bite them I quickly "spank" him and tell him no bitting and ask him to say sorry to the child that he has bitten. This has greatly curb his desire to bite children around me, At DC its a different story, to their credit they have tried to shadow him, and prevent bites when they see it coming, but everytime he does bite I get a report and on the third time that a report was written, they expelled him. Before expelling him the director did inform me that he was in danger of being expelled because he was on his second write up, and since I am not at the DC to "handle" the situation, I asked her what I should do at home with him and you know what she said? she said that I should pray. That is great advice and I do pray but that doesn't stop his bitting and less than a week later he got his third write up (today) and was expelled. My son has come home with lots of bit marks and scratches on his face, just yesterday he came home with two big knots on the back of his head, so now I am wondering what is the daycare doing? I am trying not to feel like this is my fault, that some how I am doing something wrong--Some of the comments I have read here makes the child who bites and their parents seem like criminals and that is crazy to me. I've heard the saying that parenting is the hardest job you will ever have and being a first time mom at 37 I am so agreeing. Tommorrow I will head to my nearest bookstore and get the book no more bitting and I will start my search for another daycare.This has definetly helped me.

[Unregistered]

Harmonious and CHILD CENTERED

Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.

Fabulously said!!! You're the type of teacher that every preschool classroom needs!

[Unregistered]

biting

I have to say that I disagree with the earlier thread. No, not all biters bite at home! I am the mother of a three and a half year old son who bites. He does not do it everyday, maybe once a week. This is a new behavior. He has just recently starting going to a new daycare (within the last two weeks) nd that is when the behavior started. The teachers tell me that he is the only one in the class doing it. He has NEVER done it a home. It only happens when he is in an argument, or confrontation, usually over a toy. It does not mean that I am a bad parent or that I do not care about my child hurting other children. I am a very involved parent. I have done everything to get the behavior to stop. I thought it did. He didn't bite for one week, but then he did it today. I have spanked him, taken away toys/ privileges, even bitten him back! I am at my wits end and was reduced to tears today. He is a sweet kid and has no other problems. I just don't know how to get this behavior to stop.

[Pampered]

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Just know that as he starts to use his words the biting will subside. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

[foster84]

When I was preschool, I was kicked out of one school for biting. My mother told me that it wasn't aggressive with other children normally, and that it was mostly likely that I was tired and frustrated and the teachers weren't monitoring me closely enough.

[Unregistered]

To the Parents of Biters

I just removed my 11-month-old son from daycare due to being bitten five times by the same biter in one month (and my son was not the only child being bitten). The first time it happened I simply thanked the teachers for letting me know: I understand these things happen. The second time he had two bite marks on his arm (that would be 2 and 3). I called the director and was told the "biter" was being shadowed. A few days later, bite 4 happened. My husband and I sat down with the directors and said this was unexceptable. We agreed to change rooms so my son and the biter were never together. Then the day came when the daycare was short staffed. It took only a few hours for bite number 5 and only seconds for my husband and I to inform the directors we were out.

Here's the thing: everyone wants to talk about how removing a biter isn't a fair punishment. I have news for you. It's not about punishment; it's about protecting everyone. Can you imagine how you would feel as a parent if your child bit another child's lip and it was permenantly damaged? It's happened many times. That's a huge liability. You will be sued, your daycare will be sued, and because of documentation, you will lose. Is that risk worth keeping your child in daycare until the behavior changes? Most importantly, is it worth harming someone esle's child?

Look, I'm not done having kids. My next one could very well be the biter. However, I'd rather inconvenience my own schedule and help my child through the behavior myself than put someone else's child in harm's way. This isn't about punishing a child who's struggling to understand. It's about protecting everyone involved.

[Unregistered]

Licensing Regulations...

I am a child care provider, and because of the regulations that WE HAVE to follow there is only so much we can do to a child who bites. We have a child who bites at least once a week, we have explained this to the parents about the situation and they are trying to work with us also to correct the situation. There is only so much they can do also. To be brutally honest with you, this is something that happens in all day cares. It isn't always easy to shadow a child when the ratio is to the max. If you look up Minimum Standard Rules you can see that we are very limited on how to handle the situation.