ISSUE AT SCHOOL/ 6th GRADER

[Unregistered]

My friend is concerned with how the school here has treated her son who has autism. Now, I don't know what I'd do in her same position and she has asked for advice.

Over the past few years, said child has gotten into bits of trouble. He is this year, in 6th grade age 11 1/2 yrs. He is pretty functional, but he has difficulty with most things, especially his anger and temperament. Usually, the school mentions the bad days to mom, but never really made a big issue of it

Today, he allegedly pushed a helper (The EA who must be with him at all times), not striking him, but pushing him over being asked to pick up a piece of trash that was found in the hallway. The trash was not his, and the kid flipped out and got upset. He DID eventually pick the trash up, but not before putting his hands on the EA.

The school reacted what my friend feels extreme, and reported her son to the authorities, citing that this isn't the first incident. Apparently, "records" reveal there have been prior incidences. Mom says: Funny, no one ever tells me there were previous similar incidences, just only said if he had a bad or good day, never anything specific. She thinks that her son has been discriminated against because of the reaction of the school.

If you were her, based on what was posted (obviously she never did post previous incidents), what would you say to her for advice?

Do you think the school over reacted because he has severe autism or do you think that in spite of his condition, they have a duty to report?

[cheerfuldom]

They have a duty to report and follow policy. His assistant should be supported in having a safe, violence free work environment. However, the mom should have been informed about every incidence. There should be communication regarding his behavior as well as an action plan to deal with this in the future. He shouldn't get off scott free just because he has autism. Pushing is pushing and it's unacceptable no matter who is doing this. Additionally, the school should be held accountable for lack of feedback and communication for past incidences. I personally would not be too quick to take your friends side as you may not have all the facts. Perhaps the school told her and she forgot, perhaps they sent her mailed notices that were never opened, emails that were never responded to. I just find that many times, after all the facts come out, the parents are like "oh yeah, we did get a notice and we didn't think it was a big deal and I forgot about that...." but of course there are times when the school clearly dropped the ball. Since the school has written documentation already about past incidences I am wondering if the parent has forgotten or disregard notification in the past? missed parent teacher conference or other communication?

[Unregistered]

I hadn't given her my advice yet. BECAUSE I only have 1 side of the story, I can't be sure what to say to her, so I've said nothing.

I simply do not believe that he has had prior incidents and the school said only that he had a bad day and didn't say ANYTHING else, but I don't know if calling the police was the right thing either or not. Because her description was that he only pushed the EA, and not hit him so it's not really an assault (in her words). But then that makes me wonder how many other incidents need to happen before someone really gets hurt? She has in the past cried about him not getting equal treatment, and here it appears (by her own words) he IS getting equal treatment and now she wants to pull the disabled child card.

I am frustrated with her because she think that everyone needs to cater to her and her son, who is severely behaviorally challenged. I don't go to her home anymore because once the kid slapped my 5yo kid in the face and she just said "now now, we don't hit, it's not nice" not really addressing anything else. He's not TWO, in spite of his illness. And my daughter at the time was lucky she didn't get hurt. So, being that my OWN kid was affected in my presence, I am finding it hard to believe she has had NO knowledge from the school about prior issues. It's just a mess!

I feel bad for the kid, but if she's going to enable him, I can't continue to watch it.

[Unregistered]

Apparently there is a LOT more going on with the aforementioned child.

He was admitted into a hospital for mental illness this morning due to suicidal thoughts. I really feel bad for the whole situation, but I also think this might be for the best for him and the school as well as even mom, that he gets as much help as he can.