Is Reporting Her Reasonable?

[KatieCB]

Hello! I have two small children, ages 3 and 1, who I left with a woman, C, who is unlicensed and watches children in her home. The hours were... 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday, and two hours on Tuesday. That's it. I'm not going to talk about prices, because that's irrelevant. But she was getting paid a decent amount. Reason I bring that up, is because when I would ask if she could watch them a few hours extra, seeing as I was paying her for the DAY (6am to 6pm as stated in her contract), she would say no, I need to pay her extra for that, and taking free hours is 'screwing her over'.

Apparently, I pissed her off, because one day she texted me after I picked up the girls, saying she couldn't watch them anymore. She wouldn't give me a reason, and the next day, I get a phone call from CPS. Apparently, my daughters vagina had a 'severe, infected rash.' And I didn't have food in the house, so they're starving (also, C was supposed to provide all the food). Since I have nothing to hide, and my youngest had a slightly moderate diaper rash (normal, it had been there for TWO days, and we were *forced* to take her to the ER where the docs said it was normal, and it will probably happen frequently while she's in diapers...), I invited the lady over, and she saw they were fine. I called C to ask for our potty chair and money back (I had paid her two weeks in advanced, and she kept the money for the last two days). I asked if she reported me, she denied it and said she didn't believe in CPS, and then blocked me on Facebook and posted about how I kept starting drama. *eye roll* She ignored my texts and calls, and wouldn't give us the money when we stopped by her apartment. She also shut down her Care account.

So, my SO missed work, I missed a week of school trying to find a new babysitter, and I'm 99% sure she's the one that filed a false report against us (seeing as she is the ONLY one to change them, and the CPS caseworker knew about the rash). I'm thinking about reporting her. Does that sound reasonable, or just vengeful?

[dinosaurz]

Vengeful.

This lady sounds like she has issues; do yourself a favor and move on.

[Blackcat31]

Hello! I have two small children, ages 3 and 1, who I left with a woman, C, who is unlicensed and watches children in her home. The hours were... 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday, and two hours on Tuesday. That's it. I'm not going to talk about prices, because that's irrelevant. But she was getting paid a decent amount. Reason I bring that up, is because when I would ask if she could watch them a few hours extra, seeing as I was paying her for the DAY (6am to 6pm as stated in her contract), she would say no, I need to pay her extra for that, and taking free hours is 'screwing her over'.

Apparently, I pissed her off, because one day she texted me after I picked up the girls, saying she couldn't watch them anymore. She wouldn't give me a reason, and the next day, I get a phone call from CPS. Apparently, my daughters vagina had a 'severe, infected rash.' And I didn't have food in the house, so they're starving (also, C was supposed to provide all the food). Since I have nothing to hide, and my youngest had a slightly moderate diaper rash (normal, it had been there for TWO days, and we were *forced* to take her to the ER where the docs said it was normal, and it will probably happen frequently while she's in diapers...), I invited the lady over, and she saw they were fine. I called C to ask for our potty chair and money back (I had paid her two weeks in advanced, and she kept the money for the last two days). I asked if she reported me, she denied it and said she didn't believe in CPS, and then blocked me on Facebook and posted about how I kept starting drama. *eye roll* She ignored my texts and calls, and wouldn't give us the money when we stopped by her apartment. She also shut down her Care account.

So, my SO missed work, I missed a week of school trying to find a new babysitter, and I'm 99% sure she's the one that filed a false report against us (seeing as she is the ONLY one to change them, and the CPS caseworker knew about the rash). I'm thinking about reporting her. Does that sound reasonable, or just vengeful?

Honestly, it sounds vengeful.

I do NOT think she acted nicely or professionally if everything you said was true but if she was doing something worth reporting, you should have done that immediately not afterwards...know what I mean?

If I were you, I would consider hiring a lawyer if you feel any money is owed to you. I would also request that your local community service officer accompany you to retrieve your belongings if she is refusing to return them.

There are two sides to every story so I would probably chalk this one up as a learning experience and just move on. Other than getting your belongings back (and any money you feel is owed)

Any more contact with her directly isn't going to change things.

[TwinKristi]

Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.

[butterfly]

Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.

[melilley]

Report her to who? Licensing? CPS? I'm confused there. If she isn't licensed and is supposed to be I probably wouldn't have chosen her to begin with and going to licensing to report her now would be retaliatory and they won't take you seriously. If you want your money and possessions back than you'll probably need to go to court but without a contract and all the drama its her word against your's. Its also not her fault that your SO had to miss work, its your job to have backup care in case she was sick or unable to provide care. So really it's a potty chair and 2 days of care and probably NOT worth going to court over.

[Blackcat31]

Unless I mis-read, I didn't read anywhere stating the provider was ILLEGALLY unlicensed.

OP simply said unlicensed. As far as I am aware, even legally unlicensed child care providers are subject to being reported to DHS.

[Familycare71]

Honestly, it sounds vengeful.

I do NOT think she acted nicely or professionally if everything you said was true but if she was doing something worth reporting, you should have done that immediately not afterwards...know what I mean?

If I were you, I would consider hiring a lawyer if you feel any money is owed to you. I would also request that your local community service officer accompany you to retrieve your belongings if she is refusing to return them.

There are two sides to every story so I would probably chalk this one up as a learning experience and just move on. Other than getting your belongings back (and any money you feel is owed)

Any more contact with her directly isn't going to change things.

[Unregistered]

I would move on, especially if you "believe" she called cps on you. Say she is illegal you will merely inconvenience her at most.

You can call whoever you want, but remember she can also make your life miserable.

Often it's a disgruntled parent who reports. I've seen providers turn around and call all kinds of organizations on that parent, irs, their debt collectors etc. If both of you are doing everything by the book it still can backfire. I know one gal that sent a letter to a parents employer, anon of course. Usually they know who reports them, and you already "suspect" she called. Unfortunately people abuse the system on both sides.

I say chalk it up to a learning experience.

[TwinKristi]

Unless I mis-read, I didn't read anywhere stating the provider was ILLEGALLY unlicensed.

OP simply said unlicensed. As far as I am aware, even legally unlicensed child care providers are subject to being reported to DHS.

This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?

[Blackcat31]

This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?

Apparently, I used "incorrect terminology" when referring to your words/post... I'm sorry.

However, you did bring the subject up by saying "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... and my point was the OP NEVER said anything about the woman HAVING to be licensed or not.

THAT was MY point.

OP said she was unlicensed but she didn't say or imply that the provider was suppose to be licensed.

.....and like I said in my post, whether a provider is licensed or unlicensed, legal or illegal....they are still subject to being reported to DHS.

[Unregistered]

This is the 2nd time you've done this to me. I haven't written illegally unlicensed anywhere yet you keep saying this. I said "IF she isn't and is supposed to be"... So she very well could be allowed to operate unlicensed. But in VA where the OP is, unlicensed home daycares aren't mandated by the state so who would she report to and for what?

Looks like in VA she can watch 5 children without being licensed, not a thing this parent can do. And besides they don't care about disagreements concerning money and hours.

[sleepinghart]

If this helps clear anything up, and it very well may not because I could be completely & totally wrong, but I guess it won't hurt to add just in case-- When I read the OP I was confused, and still am, about what exactly she wanted to report her for. The OP, KatieCb, brought up several issues...issues of diaper rash, getting belongings/cash back from provider, the provider's pay & hours worked, CPS complaints made against her, etc. but unless I missed it or misunderstand, I don't get exactly what she was wanting to report her provider for:confused:. My thoughts were she was either asking should she report her for being unlicensed in general(and this is what I thought TwinKristi's pp on this was addressing), report her for the diaper rash, or report her with regard to getting her belongings and some of her money back(which if I understand correctly would be a civil issue and irrelevant anyway) or the hours vs pay problem she had with provider or about the CPS complaints; so, that's the way I read TwinKristi's post too, as I thought she & I were pretty much wondering the same thing because I was going to ask myself but then saw it had already been brought up. lovethis

[Blackcat31]

If this helps clear anything up, and it very well may not because I could be completely & totally wrong, but I guess it won't hurt to add just in case-- When I read the OP I was confused, and still am, about what exactly she wanted to report her for. The OP, KatieCb, brought up several issues...issues of diaper rash, getting belongings/cash back from provider, the provider's pay & hours worked, CPS complaints made against her, etc. but unless I missed it or misunderstand, I don't get exactly what she was wanting to report her provider for:confused:. My thoughts were she was either asking should she report her for being unlicensed in general(and this is what I thought TwinKristi's pp on this was addressing), report her for the diaper rash, or report her with regard to getting her belongings and some of her money back(which if I understand correctly would be a civil issue and irrelevant anyway) or the hours vs pay problem she had with provider or about the CPS complaints; so, that's the way I read TwinKristi's post too, as I thought she & I were pretty much wondering the same thing because I was going to ask myself but then saw it had already been brought up. lovethis

yeah, text is tough to "read"... especially since so many states have so many different rules/regulations.

It's hard not to immediately apply what I personally know (about my state) to what someone else said....I certainly don't ever mean to offend anyone purposely.

Oh, well...it is what it is and OP (KatieCB) didn't come back and clarify anything she said so.....

Everyone was only trying to help.

[sleepinghart]

yeah, text is tough to "read"... especially since so many states have so many different rules/regulations.

It's hard not to immediately apply what I personally know (about my state) to what someone else said....I certainly don't ever mean to offend anyone purposely.

Oh, well...it is what it is and OP (KatieCB) didn't come back and clarify anything she said so.....

Everyone was only trying to help.

(Blackcat31 quote)"yeah, text is tough to "read" (end quote)

I'm lost......I have no idea what text you're talking about .


I thought the OP was asking if she should report her for the sole reason of her being unlicensed is what I was trying to say, not necessarily about different states and regulations if that makes sense. You are right, KatieCb never came back to clarify so.....that says enough for me.