"It Never Happens With Me"

[Unregistered]

I was telling my child's DCP that my son has had an issue which was just diagnosed. She INSISTS that because things don't happen with HER then they aren't real.

I have been off for 5 weeks now and so my son hasn't really gone over there over the summer. What makes me mad is she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and that the doctors whom my kids see and ME the parent don't know my own child! I'm really not sure what to say to her #1 to get her to stop saying things like this to me when she's not correct and #2 how I can get her to take my son's diagnosis seriously. He's having issues with respiratory, not something to mess with, and she is just not listening

Any advice?

[Michael]

Did you show her the doctor's note? Which state do you live in? There are standards that the daycare needs to adhere to.

[Josiegirl]

If she's not taking you seriously, especially in terms of his health, maybe it's time to search around for someone else? Do you have any other problems with her? Maybe she's denying it because she doesn't want to deal with it or is afraid something might happen? Seriously, regarding your ds's health issues, don't sit on the fence with her. Either she listens or you find someone else.

[nannyde]

Is there any chance you are asking her to do nebulizer treatments? If so, are the treatments on a "as needed" basis?

Can you be a little more specific on what you want her to do that she is saying she doesn't need to?

If you are asking for nebulizer treatments, are you offering her additional pay for each treatment. At my doctors office they charge about fifty bucks to give a kid a nebulizer treatment. The equipment aside, the time it takes to give nebulizer treatments and the PARENT/PATIENT CONFERENCING that it requires is very labor intensive. If you google the cost of neb treatments and how hospitals and dr.'s office figure out the billing you will see a lot of the fee structure is built around the parent conferencing. The whole process is time consuming and it costs her time/money.

It may not be nebs you are after but if it is... I would suggest coming up with a payment for each neb treatment and doing them at home before day care, after day care, and at bedtime. You can also do one during the night if it is ordered three/four times a day. Try to get her to only having one a day and pay her well for it. Then you will get the positive response. (that's assuming it's nebs)

[MyAngels]

If she's not taking you seriously, especially in terms of his health, maybe it's time to search around for someone else? Do you have any other problems with her? Maybe she's denying it because she doesn't want to deal with it or is afraid something might happen? Seriously, regarding your ds's health issues, don't sit on the fence with her. Either she listens or you find someone else.

That's what I was thinking, too. Whatever the issue is, you need to find a provider who is on the same page as you are.

[itlw8]

We need more information. What are the triggers and what is she not doing?

Maybe it does not happen at her house... so what is different. my sister had severe problems. Mother even bought the rainbow vaccume back then and it helped. no carpet in the house, but then they figured out she was better at my grandparents. Well it ended up she was allergic to my Dad Daddy was a dentist and brought home tooth dust on his clothes so he had to shower and change at work. Things improved.


What does that have to do with you? maybe she does not have some of the triggers at her house. pine trees, carpet, dust, cat, bird, who knows everyones trigger is different.


If she will not follow something that is needed during childcare hours after you provide a dr note then you need to move your child. BUT it is hard to tell without telling us the problem

[Blackcat31]

I was telling my child's DCP that my son has had an issue which was just diagnosed. She INSISTS that because things don't happen with HER then they aren't real.

I have been off for 5 weeks now and so my son hasn't really gone over there over the summer. What makes me mad is she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and that the doctors whom my kids see and ME the parent don't know my own child! I'm really not sure what to say to her #1 to get her to stop saying things like this to me when she's not correct and #2 how I can get her to take my son's diagnosis seriously. He's having issues with respiratory, not something to mess with, and she is just not listening

Any advice?

What state are you in?

Something is just not adding up here.... :confused:

[Lyss]

I was telling my child's DCP that my son has had an issue which was just diagnosed. She INSISTS that because things don't happen with HER then they aren't real.

I have been off for 5 weeks now and so my son hasn't really gone over there over the summer. What makes me mad is she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and that the doctors whom my kids see and ME the parent don't know my own child! I'm really not sure what to say to her #1 to get her to stop saying things like this to me when she's not correct and #2 how I can get her to take my son's diagnosis seriously. He's having issues with respiratory, not something to mess with, and she is just not listening

Any advice?

Are you asking her to make changes to her program/schedule in order to deal with his diagnosis? Are you asking her to give him medication or use some other medical device? Is she literally telling you that you and the DR are wrong? or just that she doesn't see the issue?

I agree more information about his diagnosis and/or symptoms is needed to give proper advice.

[Unregistered]

My son has issues breathing. He's had a long-term cough and wheezing symptoms. At first, the dr said it's just a virus. But now he's thinking it could be asthma and so has given us a treatment plan. I do all treatments at home, nothing has to be done with her in daycare. All I did was say to her: "X is having some problems with his breathing. If you should hear coughing/wheezing, please let me know" That's IT. He was JUST seen at the doctor 2 weeks ago and this problem really started about 2 weeks before that (where it was getting bothersome and audible to my kids, me and my husband as well as my in-laws. He'd had some issues in June but we had major fires so we initially thought that was the problem).

She tells me "He's NEVER done that here" I told her "Well, he just started symptoms in June and I've been off, so this is NEW" and she says "No way. Like I said he's never done it here" I said Yes, I realize that, but this is a NEW issue, not something he was doing prior to summer. She just kept saying the same thing and insisted that there is no way my son has anything going on. I told her I'm only asking her to keep an eye on this kid and that's it. It's really not hard. It's making me think she's a. not watching him closely enough because how can you not hear it it is very distinct and very loud or b. she just doesn't want to admit that she's wrong about this.


She's always been a good provider and has her own child with issues which is partly why I chose her (my son has other problems and needs someone who is experienced with them). BUT this is NOT the first time she has given me a knowitall attitude. When I was pregnant, she tried to tell me what I needed to do, even telling me things my OB advised against and insisted he was wrong! I'm just like OMG. She has NO medical degree, she's a cook and a sahm and she thinks that everything is related to what her child has and if the diagnoses is not the same it's not true.

[Cradle2crayons]

My son has issues breathing. He's had a long-term cough and wheezing symptoms. At first, the dr said it's just a virus. But now he's thinking it could be asthma and so has given us a treatment plan. I do all treatments at home, nothing has to be done with her in daycare. All I did was say to her: "X is having some problems with his breathing. If you should hear coughing/wheezing, please let me know" That's IT. He was JUST seen at the doctor 2 weeks ago and this problem really started about 2 weeks before that (where it was getting bothersome and audible to my kids, me and my husband as well as my in-laws. He'd had some issues in June but we had major fires so we initially thought that was the problem).

She tells me "He's NEVER done that here" I told her "Well, he just started symptoms in June and I've been off, so this is NEW" and she says "No way. Like I said he's never done it here" I said Yes, I realize that, but this is a NEW issue, not something he was doing prior to summer. She just kept saying the same thing and insisted that there is no way my son has anything going on. I told her I'm only asking her to keep an eye on this kid and that's it. It's really not hard. It's making me think she's a. not watching him closely enough because how can you not hear it it is very distinct and very loud or b. she just doesn't want to admit that she's wrong about this.


She's always been a good provider and has her own child with issues which is partly why I chose her (my son has other problems and needs someone who is experienced with them). BUT this is NOT the first time she has given me a knowitall attitude. When I was pregnant, she tried to tell me what I needed to do, even telling me things my OB advised against and insisted he was wrong! I'm just like OMG. She has NO medical degree, she's a cook and a sahm and she thinks that everything is related to what her child has and if the diagnoses is not the same it's not true.

If he's ever wheezing at drop off or pick up, try mentioning it. "X, that's the wheezing I was talking about. Even though I give all treatments at home, his doctor wants me to document all symptoms in case we need to change his treatment plan. If you can just let me know at pick up if you hear him making these types of noises while he's here or not that would be super helpful" at at point if she refused, I'd be looking for care elsewhere.

[Willow]

I'm not at all saying it's the case here, but have you ever considered she's telling you the truth?

There are lots of reasons a child can and will wheeze in one environment and not another.

Doesn't mean she's in denial, or being negligent. If I were in your shoes I'd sit down and try to sort out what the differences are between your homes. That could very well be the answer to why this started up all of a sudden.

Compare notes on pets, plants (inside and out), cleaning supplies, cleaning routines, age of houses, duct work maintenance, personal care items (consider anything with fragrances), foods served, typical activity levels etc. etc. etc.



I've had a family come and tell me their kids had asthma, yet they never needed a treatment in my care. They were flabbergasted. Consulted their doc, who advised us to compare notes. They picked apart the differences and decided to get their home inspected. Turned out the family had massive amounts of mold growing inside several walls, two of which were right there in his bedroom!!! They weren't negligent or unclean. A faulty plumbing of the bathroom next to his bedroom was all it took. The house was only a few years old so no one even thought to check. They had it ripped out, cleaned and rebuilt. Kiddo never needed another treatment at home again.

Just food for thought.

[Unregistered]

I'm not at all saying it's the case here, but have you ever considered she's telling you the truth?

There are lots of reasons a child can and will wheeze in one environment and not another.

Doesn't mean she's in denial, or being negligent. If I were in your shoes I'd sit down and try to sort out what the differences are between your homes. That could very well be the answer to why this started up all of a sudden.

Compare notes on pets, plants (inside and out), cleaning supplies, cleaning routines, age of houses, duct work maintenance, personal care items (consider anything with fragrances), foods served, typical activity levels etc. etc. etc.



I've had a family come and tell me their kids had asthma, yet they never needed a treatment in my care. They were flabbergasted. Consulted their doc, who advised us to compare notes. They picked apart the differences and decided to get their home inspected. Turned out the family had massive amounts of mold growing inside several walls, two of which were right there in his bedroom!!! They weren't negligent or unclean. A faulty plumbing of the bathroom next to his bedroom was all it took. The house was only a few years old so no one even thought to check. They had it ripped out, cleaned and rebuilt. Kiddo never needed another treatment at home again.

Just food for thought.

My issue is more that she thinks BECAUSE it doesn't happen at her house, it must be that we're wrong and won't take me seriously. I told her because I need a record in case it does happen there.

[kimmills]

I was telling my child's DCP that my son has had an issue which was just diagnosed. She INSISTS that because things don't happen with HER then they aren't real.

I have been off for 5 weeks now and so my son hasn't really gone over there over the summer. What makes me mad is she thinks she knows EVERYTHING and that the doctors whom my kids see and ME the parent don't know my own child! I'm really not sure what to say to her #1 to get her to stop saying things like this to me when she's not correct and #2 how I can get her to take my son's diagnosis seriously. He's having issues with respiratory, not something to mess with, and she is just not listening

Has see seen his doc's letter? This thing can't be taken lightly and ignored. There is a chance that she doesn't take this seriously because she doesn't understand the seriousness. No one can challenge a doctor. I think you need to make her understand. If nothing works maybe look at the option of changing the daycare.

[Willow]

My issue is more that she thinks BECAUSE it doesn't happen at her house, it must be that we're wrong and won't take me seriously. I told her because I need a record in case it does happen there.

Has she actually said you're wrong and I refuse to consider this may be happening with your child? Or is that just what you're assuming she's feeling because she said it's never happened there?

Because those are two very different responses.

If she said you're wrong, docs wrong etc then what was your response? If those were the words she spoke and you don't trust her to tell you if it does happen there then you need to pull your child immediately.

If however all she's voiced is that she's never seen it happen, and a smidge of incredulousness due to the amount of time she spends with him, then I do think you may be taking her words out of context.


I have had parents come in saying their child has the wonkiest things. Things that would have very obvious signs and symptoms. If I spend 10 of the 12 hours of the childs waking day with them odds are I'm going to see something long before a parent does. That's not arrogance, it's just logic.

It all boils down to - do you genuinely believe she is lying when she said it's never happened there before? -and- Do you think if it ever DID happen there that she would lie to you about it in the future just to make herself seem smart?

Trust is huge. If you don't trust her you need to pull him immediately.


(kimmills - my left foot if I can't challenge a doctor. I had one send a note just last Tuesday saying a child could return to care immediately upon being diagnosed with viral conjunctivitis. Toddler, eyeballs flaming red and pouring crud. I don't care what the letters are behind his name, the man was incorrect and the child ABSOLUTELY was NOT allowed to return to my care. I can name out hundreds of incidents like that.)

[SilverSabre25]

Bottom line, if you don't feel like your child is getting the best care, pull him out and find another provider.