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My three year old and three month old started in a home daycare. I really like them, they communicate really well, sending texts and pictures throughout the day. My son seems happy there, my three month old seems content. The thing that bothers me is how she asks us to call or text before drop off, pick up. When I go to pick them up they are by the door all set to go. My 3 year old has his shoes on, 3 month old in the car seat and all their things from the day packed and ready to go. I'm not sure if she does this so that she's got everything ready. I'm just not sure what to think.
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I can think of several reasons why this is happening.
Children have a tendency to misbehave while their parents are present and try and get away with breaking the rules. It is very uncomfortable to correct a child in front of parents, so some providers like to limit the time parents are present. Also, sometimes the presence of other adults makes children act up.
Also, the provider may not want parents to linger. Some parents also appreciate a quick in-and-out.
There are several providers on these forums who have that policy.
I would say if your children seem happy, and well cared for them I wouldn't be too alarmed. I would actually like to have that policy, but I am worried that parents would feel the same way you do. But I don't think it means there is anything to hide, it is probably just for convenience. -
I have the same policy for several reasons.
First, to prevent lingering
Second because as the previous poster said, it limits disruptions because some kids act up at drop off and pick up.
Third because more than one family usually drops off and picks up at the same time and things get confusing and things get forgotten.
Fourth because I'm organized.
Fifth so I can be sure my dogs aren't in the driveway.
I require all parents to give me ten minutes notice before drop off and pick up.Comment
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I have parents call/text if they are picking up at a different time. During nap/towards the end of the day I pack everyone up, and when we see a parent pull up (bay windows in daycare space) we get their shoes and have them ready. As pp have mentioned, my kids are animals around their parents and I would rather not have to correct them about my rules.
Don't understand the calling before drop off UNLESS you drop off/pick up at odd times. I have one parent that I asked to call before drop off AND pick up and that's because she drops off in a 2 hour window and picks up in a 2 hour window and it's sometimes during outside or art time.Comment
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I don't have that rule but sometimes I wish I did. I have a dog who's a jumper and try not to have her out and about during d/o and p/u times. So if parents come at other times we're all trying to run around and get the dog into the crate. We must look like maniacs.
And I've never expected them to ring the bell so if nobody notices someone at the door, and the dog gets there first, they get welcomed by the 66# jumping pup first.
While I can completely see the reasons behind what your provider wants you to do, does she also have an open door policy? Keep the communication wide open with your oldest child; they say lots about their day if you listen. Otherwise, as a parent, I'd probably be grateful. Some kids are very difficult to get out the door at the end of the day.
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I would love to request this, well not for drop off, but for pick up. The only reason I don't is because of the feelings you have expressed. It could make a parent think there is something to hide.
Transitions are difficult for some children and the quicker they go the smoother they go in many cases. Like pulling a bandage. Most of my families prefer a quick pick up as they are ready to head home and get on with their evening. One takes up to 40 minutes to complete the pick up process. This makes things challenging and frustrating. The children are no longer following daycare rules and parent has much lower behaviour expectations of them. It distracts me from continuing to provide care to the other children as the parent wants to be engaged in conversation. Causes me to limit what I can discuss with the other parents about their child's day, because of privacy and I don't want to be further questioned about the other children after others have left. It extends my day past their contracted time and disrupts me from moving on to my own family time and possible other obligations. My family complains about it frequently, but I'm not sure how to alter it without coming across as rude and unwelcoming.
If your provider is providing awesome communication about their day in other ways and the children seem happy and well adjusted, things are likely fine. If you are still concerned book a half day off work every now and then. Show up unexpected at an unannounced time (not naptime) to take your children home for the day. Win win situation. Your provider gets a lighter day. You get extra time with your children and get to see how the daycare presents when not expecting a parent arrival or departure.
Chances are if she is an experienced provider she has just found that this method saves a whole lot of chaos and disruption over the years. She may even be thinking she is making your evening and transition to home easier. Also saves hard feelings between parent and provider should behaviour issues flare up with any of the kids during pickups.Comment
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It is probably nothing but it would make me a bit uncomfortable too. If I were a parent, I'd probably just ask her. "I'm just curious why you have us text?" She will probably say it is an organization thing but I'd probably need to ask.
As a provider, I wouldn't like all the texts in the morning/evening.
My parents all have about the same drop off/pick up times give or take a few minutes or so I know about when they are coming and have shoes on and bags packed. I don't put infants in their car seats though. To me that seems a bit impersonal but that is just me.
I once had a client who had varying hours so I did ask her to call as not calling caused us not to be able to go to the park or take a walk because we didn't know when she was coming.
LaurelComment
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I ask parents who come at varied times or early pick up to do this because my house is large and the kids can be on the bottom level. If I'm here by myself I have to secure the little ones and bring the go home kid up. It takes a few minutes to do that.
Parents feel time standing at the door is WAY longer than it is. They think you are hiding something if you have them stand for a few minutes. So you can't win either way.
I had a parent once who came at the end of the day to pick up his son. His kid was the only kid in the house with my co provider who was legally allowed to have 8 by herself. I was meeting with a gutter repairman at the back of the house and didn't hear him. He came around back because he heard voices.
First he accused me of leaving his kid inside by himself but quickly retracted that when I opened the back door and hollered for my staff assistant to bring the child up. I told him that was a serious allegation and brought him a copy of my registration showing him that my assistant was just as legally able to have his son alone as I was. He then stammered that I agreed to have two providers which I said there ARE two providers here. I explained that his kid was the only kid in the house and I wasn't going to pay someone to sit and watch me watch his one kid.
So he finally shuts up and leaves and next thing I know I get a call frim Mom telling me Dad said he had to wait 10 minutes out front and no one answered the door. I told her that was impossible because just a few minutes before the dad got here we sent home the second to the last kid. He INSISTED it was ten minutes so I brought up the video of my driveway and calculated the time. One and a half minutes. That's the time frim when he pulled in my driveway and when he started back down it to come see if we were in the back.
He could have sworn it was 10 minutes because “it felt like forever". I told the Mom to come watch the time stamped tape. She finally surrendered. Now this family had a deal where their previous high school friend watched the baby before me and left the baby alone in her house when she went to pick her own kids up from.school so they had a bad experience before. They did not turn her in nor do I know if they were exaggerating the story after my experience with them.
We parted ways within a week because I couldn't trust the Dads perception and judgement. His allegations were serious and his perception of time was very skewed.
Your provider is most likely wanting to get you and your kid gone asap so she can move on to the next thing. Some providers like to visit with parents but most want you out the door as soon as possible. I'm one of them. I like to visit for a few minutes now and then but if everything is going great and I don't have any pressing updates, my preference is for the kid to be ready to go and you grab and go. Once you leave I'm either one kid down or done.
Now with newbie kids I spend a little more time and I text back and forth more during the day. If anything spectacular happens you would already know before you left work.
Kids don't change much from day to day so we are often hard pressed to come up with something to talk to you about. Sometimes we get parents who want to hang out to stall taking their kid with them or they want an audience to discuss how gifted and special their kid is. Those parents are super annoying and we don't want to be stuck having to endure that especially if the kid is acting up during it.
So most likely she's trying to get you guys out quick just like you want to get off the clock and get out of your work asap. By the time we have had your kid for nine ten hours we are ready for the work of it to end. Nothing personal.
I don't know why she wants an arrival text. I just want that if they are coming later than.scheduled.Comment
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I ask that my parents text at pick up and drop off for several reasons and so far none of my clients have acted like it was a problem. I do it for several reasons mentioned above, to prevent lingering and to stay organized but the main reason I started it was because we don't have a doorbell. We removed it after a parent kept letting their child push it repeatedly.
My parents all arrive between 7:50 and 9 am and leave between 3-3:30. They rarely come at the exact same time every day and before I had parents start texting we often had to have TV time in my living room instead if playing in the daycare (basement) so I could sit at the window and watch for parents. Imagine 6-8 clients where one is supposed to arrrive at 7:50 but doesnt show up until 8, another is supposed to arrive at 8 but arrives at 8:05, another is supposed to arrive at 8 but arrives at 8:15 and one that is supposed to arrive at 8:30 shows up at 8:45....it goes on and on and made me feel as if i waisted way too much time waiting.
My daycare gets loud and my hearing isn't the best so when we would be playing in the basement and a parent would knock (even though the door is at the top of the stairs) I wouldn't hear them knock as the kids were pounding around in dress up high heels, pounding with tools in the building station etc.
Since I've had parents start texting its freed up our "waiting" time, we no longer have to watch any TV and get to play more and I'm much less stressed if a parent who's scheduled until 3:15 doesn't arrive until 3:30.
In the summer months we are usually in the back yard and parents just let themselves in at pick up so I don't really need them to text as long as they will arrive by 3:30 and currently all of my parents arrive at about the same time every day so I don't need them to text but we keep it up to prevent future problems.
I do tell parents that if they feel the need to stop by unannounced they are free to do so but they must leave with their child. So far in over 10 years no ones taken me up on the offer so they must feel comfortable with the care I provide. I do have parents that will text when they are on my street or in my driveway which is fine, as long as I know someone's here so I can meet them at the door.Last edited by nanglgrl; 08-03-2013, 08:45 AM. Reason: Sorry about all of the typos and ad sentences I'm on my phone!Comment
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Just want to say I agree with the above posters...
I would like to implement this as well but haven't for the above mentioned reasons.
It is hard as a provider to just... Wait... With a bunch of little ones. Sometimes when parents show up (outside of agreed upon time) I am diapering, the kids are eating or playing a game or reading with me or im feeding a baby or... When a parent interupts that it effects everyone! The other kids who were engaged in something are now just left hanging- which usually creates chaos- while I am helping get the departing/arriving child ready and touching base with the parent. It is disruptive-Comment
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I think it's just what you think. She wants them to be ready for you so that you can take them. I had plenty of parents want their kids ready to go when they got there, but did not call me but did come at different times from time-to-time. I tried my best, if I knew a parent was scheduled to come at a certain time, to have their child ready but sometimes, it was hard to do when they'd be earlier or later than that time. So I started to request that they text or call when they left work and I'd have their child ready for them so they could go.Comment
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Not to hi-jack the thread, but ...
I think I'm going to be implementing a rule of sending me a text before pick-up. I really like being able to have the kids ready to go as soon as their parent walks in the door. My one DCG has started going absolutely bonkers when her parents arrive - running around, yelling, rolling around on the floor. Do you think it will look more fishy to parents that I'm starting it now, after I've been open for 3 months?Comment
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I personally would not like having 8 different parents texting or calling me daily at both drop off and pick up to say they were on their way. That would drive me crazy!
However, if it is not within the normal window of time they are supposed to arrive or get picked up, then that would be a different story. Parents will text or call if they are arriving late for drop off or picking up early for some reason, but I have never requested it. It is just common courtesy to let me know when to expect them, if it's not the usual time. Most of them all have the same window of time for drop off and pick up, so I know pretty much when to expect them.
At pick up, I like to have their things together, shoes on, etc so it is helpful to know if they are coming earlier than usual & since they are usually on a time crunch and needing to get somewhere like a Dr. appt, they appreciate having them ready to quickly scoot out the door.
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If you are dropping off/picking up at different times, and or trying to hang around at either times, or letting your kids go wild, or taking your time saying goodbyes etc, Yes I would do the same thing, besides it takes a while to get an infant ready to go, and to gather their stuff. Thats why I don't accept car seats, diaper bags, toys,bottles, cupies etc. to go back and forth. That way all they have to do is to pick up the children, oh, and I do a last diaper change ten minutes before departure.Keep in mind, she sounds organized and remember at the end of the day she must be feeling pretty tired,minding children all day is draining. Having the kids ready is a good thing. It helps avoid the crazines.Comment
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