Early Drop Off Question

[Unregistered]

So, today my husband got to dc earlier than he expected. In the past our DCP has said if it's just a few mins, not to bother her with a phone call. (We always called before and she didn't like us calling her). So after the last year with just one early d/o, today was the one other day he gets there ahead of schedule.

The DCP FLIPPED OUT on him! She said she wasn't ready to begin care, blah blah blah.
Then she got up the kids' butts!

I guess my concern is:

Is she overreacting? Especially since she has told us NOT to call her for just a few mins? It's not like we were 30 mins early or anything! But wow! That reaction was jut unexpected. My husband stood there dumbfounded and the kids went inside and he didn't know what to do.

WWYD as parents/providers?

Thanks!

[Blackcat31]

Depends on how early you were and what the reasons for being early was.

A lot of providers run like small families and accommodate any or all requests.

Other providers operate on a more business level and open time is open time, not one minute earlier or one minute later.

She may also have been having a bad morning or be over tired or stressed about something else and simply took it out on your DH...NOT cool either way, but is she normally pretty happy and up beat or is she moody and cranky alot?

[AfterSchoolMom]

How early was your husband? Is "a few" two minutes, five, ten? Were the kids fed and dressed (if that's how they normally arrive)?

Personally, I think you were very considerate to call her to let her know you'd be late, and I can't imagine being annoyed if someone did that unless they woke me up to do it. Does she sleep until the last possible minute? Are yours usually the first to arrive?

Like BC said, it really depends on the circumstances. Though either way, it is totally unacceptable for her to take it out on your children. Were you there to witness her doing this?


If you continue with this person, maybe in the future the best thing to do if you get there a few minutes early is just to wait in the car until your normal arrival time. I can tell you, from a provider standpoint, that I'm OFTEN not ready for arrivals until seconds before arrival time, and we appreciate those precious few minutes/seconds so that we can do things like pee, eat, brush our teeth, get our own kids settled, etc.

Keep us posted!

[Play Care]

I think the key here is, how early was he? Personally I wouldn't have allowed it at all from the get go, this way there would be no confusion. I imagine if she has always been fine with it in the past, something happened today that made it not okay. Also, I don't see telling a parent (even somewhat abruptly) that you are not ready to begin care - earlier than contracted and probably for no additional compensation to boot - as "flipping out." How did she get "up your kids butts" and why did your husband leave them there is he felt that was the case? :confused:

If he was no earlier than he has been, and she truly "flipped" or got "on" your kids then that is not okay. But I would not be surprised if there is more to it.

[daycarediva]

Earlier drop offs are NOT cool in my program, and if your provider told you not to call, did she mean not to call for early drop offs? If a parent showed up even 5 minutes before my opening time/earliest scheduled drop off they would be met with a locked door.

I agree, the provider's behavior was unacceptable but trust me when I say those mornings are hectic and rushed, and I have a million things to do before my first arrival.

[Unregistered]

Apparently, he was about 10 mins early. He waited a few mins in the car . The husband saw him out the window, and informed the wife.

The wife came outside, started yelling. Then told the kids "get inside, NOW" and just was going a little nuts.

As far as why DH would leave them, IDk.

It is not usual for him to be early. She also got paid for 2 weeks she did NO care, not at our request, but at hers and she also gets a lot of days off as we take a lot of time to be with our kids. This is why she's told us in the past a few mins early was not a biggie and not to call.

Maybe it was just a bad day, but it really makes me think of how many other times she yells at people when we're not there.

[Blackcat31]

Apparently, he was about 10 mins early. He waited a few mins in the car . The husband saw him out the window, and informed the wife.

The wife came outside, started yelling. Then told the kids "get inside, NOW" and just was going a little nuts.

As far as why DH would leave them, IDk.

It is not usual for him to be early. She also got paid for 2 weeks she did NO care, not at our request, but at hers and she also gets a lot of days off as we take a lot of time to be with our kids. This is why she's told us in the past a few mins early was not a biggie and not to call.

Maybe it was just a bad day, but it really makes me think of how many other times she yells at people when we're not there.

Sounds to me like there are a few issues going on.

Her stress levels may be questionable
You are questioning her rates and fees for closed days
and the simple fact that according to you she said one thing (a few minutes early is no big deal) and then acting differently about what she said (the being upset about it this morning).

It just might be time to find a care provider you can communicate with more openly.

If you were one of my daycare families, this would be something I would discuss privately and in person with you about.

Have you called and discussed any of this mornings actions with her?

[Unregistered]

Sounds to me like there are a few issues going on.

Her stress levels may be questionable
You are questioning her rates and fees for closed days
and the simple fact that according to you she said one thing (a few minutes early is no big deal) and then acting differently about what she said (the being upset about it this morning).

It just might be time to find a care provider you can communicate with more openly.

If you were one of my daycare families, this would be something I would discuss privately and in person with you about.

Have you called and discussed any of this mornings actions with her?

Well I don't mind paying her because it holds the spot, but since she said a few mins would not be a biggie BECAUSE we use the spot so little, we felt her reaction was extreme for someone who gets paid for doing very minimal work with our kids. Our kids are usually the 2nd set of children that get there. There is a baby that gets there an hour ahead but was not there today.

She texted me to not worry and it was fine when I texted her I wanted to talk. It just sounds like either a. she was really irritable today or b. she felt inconvenienced but didn't want to say. I'm going to talk to her upon pick up or schedule a time to talk. I don't know what to do bc I wasn't there, but my husband has never been known to exaggerate things.

[Blackcat31]

Well I don't mind paying her because it holds the spot, but since she said a few mins would not be a biggie BECAUSE we use the spot so little, we felt her reaction was extreme for someone who gets paid for doing very minimal work with our kids. Our kids are usually the 2nd set of children that get there. There is a baby that gets there an hour ahead but was not there today.

She texted me to not worry and it was fine when I texted her I wanted to talk. It just sounds like either a. she was really irritable today or b. she felt inconvenienced but didn't want to say. I'm going to talk to her upon pick up or schedule a time to talk. I don't know what to do bc I wasn't there, but my husband has never been known to exaggerate things.

Hmmm, maybe you and your DH should speak to her privately, but together.

As a provider and a parent, I really think that the lines of communication need to be really clear and although I do understand life happens and people get cranky now and then, I do think the provider at least owes you some sort of explanation as to why she reacted the way she did in the a.m. (IF your DH is correct in remembering how it all happened).

I would also ask her about when EXACTLY it is ok and not ok to be a few minutes early for drop off. Just so BOTH parties are clear and don't step on each other's toes from here on out.

Is it part of her contract to have parents pay when the kids are not attending? If so, then I completely understand why you paid when your kids were not present or in attendance.

If it isn't part of her contract and you did it as a nice gesture, then that is great because a lot of parents don't always understand that when a child is absent from care, it can make a huge dent in the provider's finances.

Either way, I am glad you contacted her and atleast opened the lines of communication in regards to this situation.

I hope you are able to find a resolution that leaves you both happy and comfortable with your agreement.

[Unregistered]

Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.

[Play Care]

Yikes! It sounds as if this wasn't a good fit all around. Best of luck in your search!

[momofboys]

Earlier drop offs are NOT cool in my program, and if your provider told you not to call, did she mean not to call for early drop offs? If a parent showed up even 5 minutes before my opening time/earliest scheduled drop off they would be met with a locked door.

I agree, the provider's behavior was unacceptable but trust me when I say those mornings are hectic and rushed, and I have a million things to do before my first arrival.

[momofboys]

Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.

She should not have reacted that way BUT why do you allow your kids to knock repeatedly on the dooor? That is really rude IMO! She could have younger people sleeping. Also. why is it your childcare provider's job to get your child from school to her home? That is your job, as a parent - not the childcare provider's job!

[Cat Herder]

Sounds like the last straw...... not the first, IMHO.

[Leigh]

Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.

First, it IS a big deal when your kids pound on the door or ring the doorbell. I'm sure the provider was probably upset because her family was sleeping, and your family didn't have enough respect to keep the kids from waking her household.

Second, putting down the provider's child and assuming that you know that his is not very responsible based on his grades tells me that you are already past the point of reconciliation. You WANT a new provider, I suggest you go get one before resentment over this stuff eats you up.

As far as the 2 weeks paid vacation-standard in MOST industries. My clients pay me a SALARY, not hourly. I get paid whether I am here or not, whether they are here or not. Consider the space you're renting for your child in daycare similar to a space in a parking garage that you rent. You pay for it whether your car is parked in the garage or at the beach.