Not Allowing Parents To Walk Children In

[Meeko]

My sons school doesn't allow any parental entry into the building beyond the office. If you are greeting your kid it has to be done right by the front door and approved by the office.

BIG HUGE SIGNS saying NO ENTRANCE. Visitors MUST check in with the office and don't go beyond this point. If I fetch him, I can not go into the building. He comes to me.

The schools are age three to eigth grade.

I don't allow parents to come into the play room. They see the whole house three times when they interview and if I want to show them something then they will come in but arrivals and departures are at the front door.

I don't like the liability of having parents through the house. I think it really elevates my risks.

Here's my math.... I think this is right

I've been open for 20 years.
In 20 years I have had an average of 8 kids enrolled between the varius levels of registrations I've had.
Within a year I work 242 days.
With 8 kids I have 16 arrivals and departures per day. Once the kids enter they go downstairs. To get them down the stairs and then up the stairs to go home that is 16 trips in a day and 80 per week... per year it's 3872 trips up and down the stairs. Over twenty years it is 77,440 trips. When you consider the parent goes down to drop off and has to come up to go to work... then goes down to pick up and has to come up to go home... that DOUBLES. So in 20 years of operating I'm going to have parents climbing up or down my stairs 154,800 times. And the really bad news is... they will be parenting their children during half their trips on my stairwell 77 THOUSAND times.

Now that's JUST the day shift kids. I have done 16 years of evening shift with four to five kids a night too. I won't even ADD that math.

I've had two falls on my stairwells in 20 years. Both times it was my staff assistant with their kid. One was my staff assistant allowing her kid to do the last three steps of the decent without supervising cuz she does the whole flight at home by herself. The second was my other staff assistant carrying her own child down my stairs and NOT holding the hand rail.

My business model is to have parents parenting their children for as little as possible on my property. If I could figure out a way to send them via tube to their parents car every day from my front door I would do that. Just having to intercede between the fifteen feet from my front door to their back seat of the car... I can imagine what I would have with 16 visits a day. Even at five minutes per parent per day it would be 80 minutes a day JUST to do arrival and departures. It would be a rare parent that would do five minutes especialy at the end of the day.

There's always the assumption that those of us who don't allow it are hiding something. I never think that about my sons school. Never have. I understand the decision is what is best for the GROUP and the adults... not my best interest.

The schools are all the same here too. I have never thought it was anything but great. Strangers should not be walking around a facility with children. EVER. I appreciate my kids being protected.

If a parent is suspicious of me and thinks I am hiding something, they need to go elsewhere. I will never, ever, put the children in my care at risk for the sake of making an adult feel good. My parents trust me. Their kids are happy and content and leave with smiles every single day. That's what counts....not what the playroom "looks" like.

[nannyde]

My sons school doesn't allow any parental entry into the building beyond the office. If you are greeting your kid it has to be done right by the front door and approved by the office.

BIG HUGE SIGNS saying NO ENTRANCE. Visitors MUST check in with the office and don't go beyond this point. If I fetch him, I can not go into the building. He comes to me.

The schools are age three to eigth grade.

I don't allow parents to come into the play room. They see the whole house three times when they interview and if I want to show them something then they will come in but arrivals and departures are at the front door.

I don't like the liability of having parents through the house. I think it really elevates my risks.

Here's my math.... I think this is right

I've been open for 20 years.
In 20 years I have had an average of 8 kids enrolled between the varius levels of registrations I've had.
Within a year I work 242 days.
With 8 kids I have 16 arrivals and departures per day. Once the kids enter they go downstairs. To get them down the stairs and then up the stairs to go home that is 16 trips in a day and 80 per week... per year it's 3872 trips up and down the stairs. Over twenty years it is 77,440 trips. When you consider the parent goes down to drop off and has to come up to go to work... then goes down to pick up and has to come up to go home... that DOUBLES. So in 20 years of operating I'm going to have parents climbing up or down my stairs 154,800 times. And the really bad news is... they will be parenting their children during half their trips on my stairwell 77 THOUSAND times.

Now that's JUST the day shift kids. I have done 16 years of evening shift with four to five kids a night too. I won't even ADD that math.

I've had two falls on my stairwells in 20 years. Both times it was my staff assistant with their kid. One was my staff assistant allowing her kid to do the last three steps of the decent without supervising cuz she does the whole flight at home by herself. The second was my other staff assistant carrying her own child down my stairs and NOT holding the hand rail.

My business model is to have parents parenting their children for as little as possible on my property. If I could figure out a way to send them via tube to their parents car every day from my front door I would do that. Just having to intercede between the fifteen feet from my front door to their back seat of the car... I can imagine what I would have with 16 visits a day. Even at five minutes per parent per day it would be 80 minutes a day JUST to do arrival and departures. It would be a rare parent that would do five minutes especialy at the end of the day.

There's always the assumption that those of us who don't allow it are hiding something. I never think that about my sons school. Never have. I understand the decision is what is best for the GROUP and the adults... not my best interest.

[Meeko]

I believe parents should be allowed to come in however, I have had a couple of parents who had their "routine" and it was a time consuming disruptive process.

Little Suzie would come in with mommy and mommy would take a good 5 minutes to undress her and put her things away, then another 5 minutes to talk to her about how she had to go to work and how when she was done she was coming to get her and what they were going to do after she was picked up etc. Then we would have 5 minutes of hugging and cuddling and kissing and mommy telling her how much she was going to miss her. This whole time I have 6 others to care for and I am waiting to get Little Suzie to join the group.

Now because my attention is partly off of the other 6 while I am waiting for little Suzie, they decide to act up/do things they are not supposed to be doing because I am busy waiting for little Suzie and mommy to finish what has now turned into a half hour drop off because now little Suzie is crying because she wants mommy to give her more hugs and cuddles and kisses.

I really loved little Suzie but mommy drove me nuts and created too many problems first thing in the morning.

Let me just say, I am very happy now that little Suzie is in school and mommy does not disrupt my morning anymore.

I wanted to just say........Just drop off your child and leave! I have 6 or more other children who need me and while I am waiting for this "routine" to end you are taking me and my attention away from what I need to be doing for them.

I no longer allow this myself. Parents now all come in hand their child to me and they go. This is one of the things I discuss during the interview. Drop off must be done quickly!

(I do have an open door policy and parents can show up any time they like unannounced)

Exactly this!

And then multiply Suzie and Mommy by 12.........and the morning is put on hold for chaotic rituals.


Suzie and Mommy can do their secret handshake etc in the car. They can hug and kiss all they want to. Suzie needs to go potty before they leave the house. If she's big enough for pre-school, she's big enough to go potty by herself when she gets to school. She's also big enough to take her own coat off and put it away.

[makap]

We have a routine of me walking her in, putting her stuff away, me taking her to the bathroom, and then us doing our secret handshake to say goodbye.

I believe parents should be allowed to come in however, I have had a couple of parents who had their "routine" and it was a time consuming disruptive process.

Little Suzie would come in with mommy and mommy would take a good 5 minutes to undress her and put her things away, then another 5 minutes to talk to her about how she had to go to work and how when she was done she was coming to get her and what they were going to do after she was picked up etc. Then we would have 5 minutes of hugging and cuddling and kissing and mommy telling her how much she was going to miss her. This whole time I have 6 others to care for and I am waiting to get Little Suzie to join the group.

Now because my attention is partly off of the other 6 while I am waiting for little Suzie, they decide to act up/do things they are not supposed to be doing because I am busy waiting for little Suzie and mommy to finish what has now turned into a half hour drop off because now little Suzie is crying because she wants mommy to give her more hugs and cuddles and kisses.

I really loved little Suzie but mommy drove me nuts and created too many problems first thing in the morning.

Let me just say, I am very happy now that little Suzie is in school and mommy does not disrupt my morning anymore.

I wanted to just say........Just drop off your child and leave! I have 6 or more other children who need me and while I am waiting for this "routine" to end you are taking me and my attention away from what I need to be doing for them.

I no longer allow this myself. Parents now all come in hand their child to me and they go. This is one of the things I discuss during the interview. Drop off must be done quickly!

(I do have an open door policy and parents can show up any time they like unannounced)

[cheerfuldom]

I bet a big part of the decision making processes is how many kids are coming and going during the day. some of the daycares around here are easily 40 kids, sometimes more. so yeah, one kid finding a weakness in the security of the daycare IS going to change the policies. And offering one-on-one solutions when you have so many kids coming and going is not cost effective or realistic in most cases. Its just like an elementary school. The teacher is there for the class and there is not individualized care for the most part. and liability is a huge concern. again, that changes the way a daycare is run because one bad situation and the center could get shut down with a lawsuit.

most of us here are home providers with 20 kids or less and many of us have assistants as well. thats the best its going to get as far as ratios for safety. centers normally have one person running the front desk or entrance area and they have to keep the parents coming and going smoothly and safely. if the parents drop off directly to class, there is still a good size group for each teacher to keep track of and we all know that centers are notorious for high turnover in teachers, or shifting around teachers from class to class. the person in that room may not even know your child yet or recognize the parents yet. you have to make the rules to cover any possible scenario including the small possibility that a stranger will just walk in and grab some kid.

[Cradle2crayons]

At my daughters school, parents aren't allowed past the office. No exceptions. Very tiny school and they know everyone but they don't break the rules no matter what.

At car pickup we have to have our child's assigned number on the car and they have the car riders lined up and ready to be picked up, the child has to wait in line until you are the next to pick up, they call the child, the child goes to your car

[MarinaVanessa]

Do you think that this is different because of it's a school? I know even with my kids's school now (7th grade and 10th grade), you cannot just walk in the school and go to their classrooms. They very much frown on that. Even in elementary. If they forgot something in 2nd grade and you took it to the school, the office secretary took it to the classroom.

I had never seen this before until I started picking up a little girl from a school where my nephew goes to preschool. My nephew goes to a Jump Start (similar to Head Start) preschool on the campus of the closest elementary school to me and another mom with a daughter in his class needed child care for her and her older sister which was in 1st grade at that school. I was surprised to find out that parents were not only not allowed on campus until the bell rang (with a campus employee guarding the entrance) but the kids all had to wait in their classrooms for their adult to come to the door and get them. You couldn't just tell your child to meet you somewhere or walk out to a particular spot to pick them up, you had to actually come to the classroom and pick up the child. SUPER annoying to me having to unload all of the DCK's to get DCG and then load everyone back up. I'm glad my DD's school doesn't work this way. I park on the street under a shady tree far away from the commotion and dumb parents that "park" in the loading zone or block you in the loading zone by stopping in the middle of the street and wait for their kid .

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I had to stop allowing parents to come all the way in during drop offs because one parent was spending 10-15 minutes in here daily with her child, who is not young. It was actually delaying us from continuing our routine, it disrupted the other children and I who were doing math lessons, and it was getting increasingly longer and longer. All parents are to drop their children off in the front area now. They can hear and see what we are doing quite easily, but actually coming in and participating really throws off everyone AND makes the other parents uncomfortable when it's a constant thing.

[JenNJ]

I also see both sides.

Though I don't think it seems fishy. They didn't say parents can't drop in unannounced and observe, they said no mote parents walking kids in at drop off. If it is a center that can be over 100 parents coming and going in a short time frame. Meaning the door would be open constantly. Much different than a few parents dropping by at lunchtime.

I do think notice would have been nice, but it sounds like this child/ten are having severe separation issues causing dangerous behavior. I would bet that there was no other way to safely handle this situation while the changeover occured.

[lovemykidstoo]

Do you think that this is different because of it's a school? I know even with my kids's school now (7th grade and 10th grade), you cannot just walk in the school and go to their classrooms. They very much frown on that. Even in elementary. If they forgot something in 2nd grade and you took it to the school, the office secretary took it to the classroom.

[MarinaVanessa]

Personally, I would not take my child to a program that did not allow me to enter the facility. Seems they might be "hiding" something. It may even be illegal/against regs. I'd call their licensing entity and ask.

I must agree here as well. I know that I, from a parent's prospective would not feel comfortable not being able to check in on my child while at daycare. I have a very open "open-door" policy to make parent's feel comfortable with my program. If I ever needed to change that I would definitely notify all of the parents of the change because for all I know, some parents may have chosen my program because of my open-door policy. I know that if I chose child care with this perk being one of the benefits and then they changed the rule suddenly and without notice then I'm pretty sure that I'd be upset too. I don't know that I would choose child care elsewhere but I would definitely reevaluate my options.

[daycarediva]

I'm not surprised at your answer.

While I understand the concerns they might have with some parents, I agree with you, Crystal. Allowing parents to visit unannounced is a requirement here, and in most states. Allowing parents to walk their children in, to observe the program's activities in the process, and to interact with the teacher/provider are indicators of a warm, high-quality environment.

As I said before, I would never "punish" a group for the actions of a few. I would address the parents that are causing the issue individually, not make a blanket rule. I believe around here it's called "bye bye outside".

Here it is a licensing requirement that parents are allowed in my home during daycare hours.

I have done bye bye outside if there is a prolonged drop off, or if the child is having an issue with separation. It is always discussed before hand with the parent/s, and then implemented. Typically, it's for a short period of time.

If a child was able to run away from staff and nearly get out of the door, then they need to address the safety issue with THAT child and the staff present when that happened. Obviously a 1:1/shadow during drop off could also resolve the issue.

[gag]

I am so torn on this subject. First of all, I most definately think that they should have given you warning so that you could prepare and also prepare your daughter. My kids went to a Catholic School when they were in elementary. Almost exact thing happened to us. One day we were walking the kids in and there was a huge sign in the door saying that noone was allowed into the hallways anymore. Irritated all of the parents. We were more upset because we didn't see the other parent anymore and that's where we talked about alot of the things we did together such as fundraisers, school activities etc. So I definately understand your frustration. On the other hand, I can understand the massive disruption of all of the parents walking the child in and having long goodbyes. I can't imagine what that's like because when I have a couple of parents do that it's highly disruptive. CAnnot imagine that many parents doing it. I also have one parent that does this handshake, kisses routine that started out with one round of it and now it's up to 3 times of the routine. Let me tell ya, that takes forever and I'm supposed to stand there and wait for the ritual to finish. Also, i agree that parents have no business in the bathroom. This is for obvious security reasons. Is it a long ride to the center for you? Why, if your daughter goes to the bathroom before leaving home does she need you to take her upon entering the school? Think of it from another angle. What if your daughter was in the bathroom and a parent that you're not familiar with was hanging around in there too. Are you okay with that? You and your daughter will get used to it and it will be fine. Just don't make a big deal about it. maybe tell your daughter it's because she's such a big girl now that she can handle it on her own. Let me restate though that the way they handled it was poor.

Couldn't agree more, good post

The only thing to add is that liability starts the moment you enter the door, and if a parent takes their child to the bathroom and a slip takes place injuring the parent or child there is increased liability, that's all. Ya know, high heels mom's wear are lovely, but not for the bathroom tile. Agree, communication letter should have gone out prior, not just started at the door that day.

[lovemykidstoo]

I am so torn on this subject. First of all, I most definately think that they should have given you warning so that you could prepare and also prepare your daughter. My kids went to a Catholic School when they were in elementary. Almost exact thing happened to us. One day we were walking the kids in and there was a huge sign in the door saying that noone was allowed into the hallways anymore. Irritated all of the parents. We were more upset because we didn't see the other parent anymore and that's where we talked about alot of the things we did together such as fundraisers, school activities etc. So I definately understand your frustration. On the other hand, I can understand the massive disruption of all of the parents walking the child in and having long goodbyes. I can't imagine what that's like because when I have a couple of parents do that it's highly disruptive. CAnnot imagine that many parents doing it. I also have one parent that does this handshake, kisses routine that started out with one round of it and now it's up to 3 times of the routine. Let me tell ya, that takes forever and I'm supposed to stand there and wait for the ritual to finish. Also, i agree that parents have no business in the bathroom. This is for obvious security reasons. Is it a long ride to the center for you? Why, if your daughter goes to the bathroom before leaving home does she need you to take her upon entering the school? Think of it from another angle. What if your daughter was in the bathroom and a parent that you're not familiar with was hanging around in there too. Are you okay with that? You and your daughter will get used to it and it will be fine. Just don't make a big deal about it. maybe tell your daughter it's because she's such a big girl now that she can handle it on her own. Let me restate though that the way they handled it was poor.

[racemom]

I agree with this completely.

I also would question this. Our center lets parents come in and get their childs day started. We also have an open door policy, they can come to visit anytime. I would wonder what was going on inside a facility that doesn't allow parents to come in.