Potty Training At Daycare

[c.w.]

So I'm one of those annoying parents that started potty training my daughter at 9 months- yes, I know I was the one being trained, but she didn't seem stressed by it and it saved me diapers. Daycare wouldn't start helping until she moved into the toddler room, which she did around 18 months. She'll be two next week and is now in underwear at home. She's doing really well at home but I've continued to send her in (cloth) diapers at daycare. Friday and yesterday (monday) she did really well using the potty there and her teacher asked me to send her in underwear today. I sent in five pairs and five changes of clothes. I'm so nervous. I just don't want the teachers to get annoyed because I'm sure she's going to have accidents, but they're the ones who asked for it. I also realized I forgot to send in shoes in socks, so I'll probably get a call. Oh well, maybe at least I'll have an excuse to get out of work early.

Not really a questions, but more of a rambling. Is this how potty training at daycare normally goes?

[Cradle2crayons]

Not at my house... They have to be able to tell me "I have to go potty" then actually potty.... And stay dry for two weeks before they go into actual underwear at my house and that means it has to be initiated that way at home as well.

Good luck to your little one... Maybe there won't be any issues or accidents!! Think positive

[c.w.]

yeah, she rarely initiates. I just take her at times of transitions. Her teacher yesterday told me that she does the same. I guess that's still not real potty training, and that's why I wasn't pushing it at daycare at all. Maybe she'll catch on eventually. They want to try it, so we'll see what happens. At least they have tile floors! If it goes well, they're all getting a treat on Friday!

[Willow]

Every daycare is different but I wouldn't have accepted or kept on your family if your process started at 9 months.

I believe in child led readiness. When a kiddo starts showing those signs of readiness (keeping diapers consistently dry, becoming aware and able to tell an adult they have to go, having the physical development needed to be able to seat themselves, wipe and wash hands when thryre done etc) then I'll encourage the parents to start introducing the potty at home. When they are 100% dry for two weeks at home then I'll allow them to try underwear here.

Every child offered that route here has made the transition in literally a day with little to no accidents (no joke, I can count on one hand how many all the potty trained kiddos in my care have had combined).

Accidents are not only extremely embarrassing and defeating to the child but urine and feces in common play spaces and surfaces is a major health hazard that requires in depth clean up that takes me and the space I'm left sanitizing away from the rest of the group.

Not to mention pushing a child well before they are ready has been well documented to desensitize children to the process (which actually commonly causes major delays in mastering potty training) and recent studies have shown it can cause serious physical changes to the body which can lead to health problems (with kidneys, bladder, ureters, megacolon and infection -all from immature systems withholding voiding before the a child's body should be attempting such a thing).


Not to be a debbie downer, every family needs to work with their provider to do what's best for their child as an individual of course. That's just how I require the process go here because I've seen far too many children physically and mentally harmed by parents who pushed too hard before the child was ready. Not saying it's an impossible route to take, only that it will be infinitely more difficult for everyone involved.

[c.w.]

"Every daycare is different but I wouldn't have accepted or kept on your family if your process started at 9 months."

Can I ask why? I never asked daycare to do anything differently, I just was sitting my daughter on the potty when she woke up, before bath, before bed, etc. She was still in diapers full time. We just started the underwear last month.

I know 9 months seems early, but I just can't imagine still dealing with diapers at 3 or 4. Anyways, not to start a debate on early training- I know there are a lot of strong opinions on both sides. I was just really surprised daycare was the one to initiate underwear today and it's interesting to read what others do.

[Unregistered]

Also, I've learned that no matter what you do, you're going to end up damaging your kid. Mine is screwed because I'm potty training early, still breastfeeding, and cosleeping. My nephew is screwed because his mom formula fed, did cry-it-out, and hasn't even introduced the potty at 3yrs.

It's pretty funny, but sad at the same time...

[Willow]

I explained why I won't take or keep a family that initiates anything other than child led training......because withholding voiding before a child's body is physically capable of doing so can physically damage the body, permanently damage organs, cause repeated painful infections, and it can definitely stunt actual mastery (I may not love changing a three year olds diapers but better that than a ten year old pooping her pants everyday and having to deal with that....).

I'm not looking to debate either by any means, you just asked for opinions on what is typical, there's my process and why

[c.w.]

oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.

[Willow]

oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.

I have a great rapport with my families, trust is super important and we all agree on that. We frequently discuss development and I make my theories and methodologies clear at interview time. I simply won't enroll a family if we aren't on the same page. They telle everything, I tell them everything, I wouldn't expect anything less if I was in their shoes and it was my child in care!

I have yet to end up with any "fibbers." Even if they tried it would be a very obvious thing to discern as far as potty training goes. If a family were to tell me their child has kept diapers dry the next two weeks and they've never stayed dry two consecutive hours here we'd be sitting down to discuss moving on first.

[Willow]

oh, no, I get that. That's not what I meant. I meant, would you even know? What if a parent didn't tell you?

Also, do you have any links to those studies. I hadn't heard that before.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-hodges-md/potty-training_b_1424826.html

http://www.babble.com/toddler/dangers-potty-training-early/

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/early-potty-training-harmful/story?id=16806522#.UZuCV1L4Iog

[Unregistered]

So I'm one of those annoying parents that started potty training my daughter at 9 months- yes, I know I was the one being trained, but she didn't seem stressed by it and it saved me diapers. Daycare wouldn't start helping until she moved into the toddler room, which she did around 18 months. She'll be two next week and is now in underwear at home. She's doing really well at home but I've continued to send her in (cloth) diapers at daycare. Friday and yesterday (monday) she did really well using the potty there and her teacher asked me to send her in underwear today. I sent in five pairs and five changes of clothes. I'm so nervous. I just don't want the teachers to get annoyed because I'm sure she's going to have accidents, but they're the ones who asked for it. I also realized I forgot to send in shoes in socks, so I'll probably get a call. Oh well, maybe at least I'll have an excuse to get out of work early.

Not really a questions, but more of a rambling. Is this how potty training at daycare normally goes?

If the parents started training AND the child was 18 months, I would not let them bring their children in anything but underwear with plastics (no pull-ups were used in my care)
I doubt they will get annoyed I think they'll appreciate that your little one will be PT fully soon, and all babies have accidents, so it's normal. just include several extra pairs of undies and plastics in the diaper bag (so that if the provider needs to go on outings, and an accident occurs, the carseat or whatnot doesn't get soaked)

[c.w.]

Thanks for the links- they're all referening the same study, but still something for me to think about. I'll admit that my goal was to have her trained by 18 months. I was really pushing for it, and it just wasn't working. I stepped back and she seems to be much more interested now. I'm still curious to see what happens at daycare today and will back off if she doesn't do well. The articles also mentioned diet- and I will pay close attention to that. We don't do any dairy (she has a sensitivity) and I'll try to make sure she has a high fiber diet. She's also still on breast milk and bf babies aren't usually constipated. Today she has fish and black beans and corn- an accident after that might make daycare change their mind about the underwear!

Thanks again, nice to exchange ideas and learn stuff, even if I might disagree!

[AnneCordelia]

In my home daycare I require parents to start training at home over a long weekend or vacation before I will start here. The child comes in pull ups and stays in pull ups until they are accident free for two whole weeks. We go at regular intervals but I also need the child to initiate pottying by telling me if they have to go in between times. So the child has to be old enough to verbalize, dextrous enough to pull up and down pants, and be dry 2 weeks before undies happen here.

I have done this with my own four children too. With nine kids in the house I cannot afford to have training children pee on carpets or furniture. My couch has never been peed on and I am proud of that. LoL.

[c.w.]

In my home daycare I require parents to start training at home over a long weekend or vacation before I will start here. The child comes in pull ups and stays in pull ups until they are accident free for two whole weeks. We go at regular intervals but I also need the child to initiate pottying by telling me if they have to go in between times. So the child has to be old enough to verbalize, dextrous enough to pull up and down pants, and be dry 2 weeks before undies happen here.

I have done this with my own four children too. With nine kids in the house I cannot afford to have training children pee on carpets or furniture. My couch has never been peed on and I am proud of that. LoL.

Ha! I wish I could say that. I have two dogs plus the kid- the couch and area rug have certainly seen better days.

[Willow]

I've got four dogs, two cats, two kids and currently 7 daycare kids enrolled M-F.....no one is allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen or use the restroom anywhere other than the designated places they're supposed to.....my furniture and carpets are immaculate, enforced rules are all it takes