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Slightly OT: as providers, are we legally able to withhold items that belong to clients?
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Okay I see now, if your payment due date is 4/26 then that is when the payment is due. She can't tell you to pay it in full now or send you to collections if you don't pay it now because contractually it isn't late until 4/26.
If she sends you to collections anyway she will have to show proof of the debt that is owed to her. If the agency is smart and professional they will not take her claim, if they aren't and decide to take a gamble and take the claim anyway you can wait for a collection notice and communicate with the agency in writing. Send them copies of your contract and the notice. I would also send your provider a certified letter recapping that she is letting you pull you child without having to pay the 4 weeks termination notice and request in that same letter that she has items belonging to your child (itemize and describe them) and that she is refusing to return them to you until you pay the $300 which is not due until 4/26. Attach a copy of the contract to the letter and highlight that part. Request that she immediately return your child's belongings as you are not in breach of the contract and that all further communication be done in writing via certified mail, text or email (so that you have a paper trail).
Thank you for this additional information. It makes a big difference.When my son hit the toddler at daycare, I mentioned that he was a black and white child. I have actually mentioned this lots of times....
By who? If the provider gave you a 4 week notice then your contract is valid for 4 more weeks regardless of whether or not your child attends the daycare. If it was your choice to pull your children then you are legally still obligated to pay for that time unless she agrees to release you from the contract. From how you worded it, it seemed to me as if you found immediate alternative arrangements and were not going to notify her of this until the last minute ... meaning you were going to leave and stiff her for the remainind balance.
When she asked you about it after hearing about it from your child did she then agree to release you from your contract without having to pay the remaining balance? If this is the case then yes, you are only obligated to pay the $300 that she is agreed to allow you to pay.
In any case I would not pay the $300 in cash unless she gives you a receipt. I can see why she wants the $300 immediately, she is afraid that you will not pay her for the week that she is owed. You can always explain that you do not have the money and won't it have until your next paycheck and ask her if she would agree to a post dated check in exchange for your child's items. If not then just pick up the items when you give her the $300. If you pay cash, get a receipt.
You can then also attempt to negotiate a partial payment for the return of your child's blanket and agree to pay the remainder of the balance on the 26th.
If this is true and you have a way to prove this (maybe talk to one of the other DC parents??) then you can take her to small claims court for this. If you paid for days that weren't in the contract as being pad days then you should have never paid for them. It is YOUR responsibility to make sure that you are paying as contracted, I would never have paid for these days if I didn't sign a contract for this.
You might be able to deduct the prorated amount for these days from your balance owed and send her a letter notifying her of this if but she will probably keep your child's items and might take you to small claims court and it will then be up to you to prove that you were charged for days that you should not have been charged for. You have the burden of proof to show the amounts that you paid, your child's attendance, your child's absences and the contract. If you can't prove this then this money is a lost cause.
I disagree. Although I agree that it is not out of the scope that some children with disorders and developmental delays may show aggression and they "don't know better" I believe that it is absolutely not normal for a typical 5 year old to do so. At age 5 they should already know the difference between right and wrong and know that physical aggresion is not acceptible. Any child age 5 or older that is aggressive has not been properly taught how to handle their emotions. On top of the 2 infants that I care for I have two 2 year olds, two 3 year olds, one 4 year old and an 8 yo. None of them hit. It would be normal for the 2yo's or an early 3yo to hit, but not so much for children older than that. I expect that a 4yo child know without a doubt that hitting is not appropriate. Your child is autistic and depending on the severity of it I would agree that it is typical behavior of some autistic children to show aggression.Comment
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IMO I think there must be other issues leading up to the termination. Either your child has been being aggressive other times, or dealing with his individual needs is more than she feels she is capable of doing while also caring for other children.
As providers, even when we care for little ones for a living because we love it, it is still for a living. It doesn't benefit the provider to term a paying client, chance having a parent cause problems for her (rightly or wrongly), and have to re-fill that opening. I can't imagine a provider terming a family for 2 instances 3 months apart, with no notice to the parent that the term was coming if XYZ didn't change.
It is possible she didn't inform you of these issues (per your email she has been less than professional in other ways so maybe she is inexperienced?). Either way it is best for your child to not be in the care of a provider unable to care for him w/i her group of children.Comment
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It has to be extreme for my autistic child to hit or push. It is not normal behavior for,him. After both incidents I contacted his teachers and therapist. The teacher, who also teaches the child of the provider, asked me if I believed it. She did not think it happened. A fit yes but not aggression. His therapist also was shocked. He can be aggressive with his brother but,usually it is the,other way around.Comment
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There is a daycare crises here right now. I found out after my kids,were out she was over her limit, and already had my Childers spots filled.Comment
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It has been reported. IMO she terminated my care because it is in my contract that my rates won't be raised until 2014. She can charge more money and have an easier child by letting mine go. I didn't keep mg pulling them a secret to stiff her. I am not that kind of person. But with everything else going on I was worried. And I didn't have confirmation until after I dropped off the boys that morning that they could start in the temp place on Monday.Comment
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So once you knew you discussed it with her correct? And she released you of your contract? As in she agreed that you didn't have to stay and pay the rest of the month's fees correct? I'm still wondering about this.
I'm not saying that you are "that type of person", just saying that it's what it looks like. If your provider was looking for a reason to terminate your care then filling your spot with someone else could be a good reason, it would make sense to let you leave early and not expect payment if she had someone to fill your spot for more money that what she would be getting from you.
Did she give you receipts for your payments? Did you give her checks? These could serve to your purpose as evidence that you paid the same amount every week. If you can convince another parent to stand as your witness that there were days that she closed other than holidays and that can remember or has written the dates down then this can be the proof you need in small claims court should she take you there if you decide to deduct the amount for these days from your amount owed. You never know it might help (if that is something that you are entertaining). It would be best to talk to a lawyer about it but I know how difficult that is financially.
Let this also serve as a learning experience. Make sure that the next place has a clause in the contract about termination and that it charges you correctly. If you were paying cash before make sure to expect receipts this time or pay through checks so that you have proof that you paid. It stinks that this situation got nasty but at least your child will be in better hands.Comment
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I don't know...I've been following this thread all day and something is just not feeling right to me. I think there are multiple issues and some things seem "off". The $ part for one as well as the contract. Since I can't see the actual document all I can say is you need to follow it and from what I gathered the provider was trying to do it in the right way but it was very confusing in the OP's original post and PP's have attempted to go through that part so I won't other than to say it "seemed" like the provider was doing what was right in a very round about way. The contract may be vague about her taking vacations/personal/sick days so the OP now knows what to look for in the future but why not ask for clarification the FIRST time it happened??
It also seems to me that the OP is not taking responsibility for her DS actions and instead is making excuses for them. There have been contradictions as well regarding this. In the OP she says he admitted to hitting another child but then later says he's not aggressive and after talking to his teacher and therapist wonders if it happened at all?
I would not allow violence in my daycare period. Once I made a decision to term I would start advertising asap hoping to fill the spot with no gap to my income. This provider could also have a waiting list. Once the OP said she was not coming back of course the spot would be filled...Maybe the spot was ready for someone after the 4 weeks notice the provider gave and when she realized you were leaving with no notice she let the new family know they could start sooner. If I had a family act so secretive about leaving I would also have asked for a cash payment and wonder about checks clearing or if in fact I would even be paid.
Something just seems off about this whole story IMO...Comment
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I suppose I can see what you mean about this part. I know I for one have asked at least 3 times whether the provider agreed to release her from the contract before the 4 weeks were up and still have not gotten an answer. Pretty much everything else was answered except for this question :confused:Comment
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How did you find special needs childcare so fast in a childcare crisis time?Comment
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Good question queen nannyde... Lol.. My special needs 10 year old daughter and I were reading some of your very awesome methods on your website and peanut looked at me and said... Mama she's the queen nanny!!
Anyway... I got distracted sorry... I'm also curious about if the provider nixed the 1200 .. If she DID.. You better get that in writing for real!!
As the mom and provider of a few special needs in my time, I do have to completely agree that hitting and pushing are NOT normal for a five year old. However, it's actually not that abnormal at all for an autistic five year old. They have a horrible time socially and how they relate to other les is very skewed... Sometimes even reality is skewed. But gosh yes, they are well known for the concrete thinking... The gray areas totally set them off. My daughter when she was smaller had a lot more issues with it. I had to keep reminding myself that socially she was not her age and I never compared her to how the AVERAGE five year old etc would respond to something.
Having said that, there does seem to be more to the story. Personally I'd say a good rule of thumb for the future...l go exactly by that contract. If something doesn't follow it, bring it up. Letting things go just leads to resentments and your kids feed off of that.Comment
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I always paid with a check as well as get a reciept. I have allways done this as a portion of my child support is dependent on childcare cost. And I have learned a very valuble lesson on this. And continue to. legal action is not an option for me at this time, and since i didnt say anything at the time of the charges, I am letting it go. I guess I am still at a point where I want others to know and beware.
I have reported what I can to social services and she did only ask me for the 300.00 not any more. I will be paying it on friday as originally agreed and will be paying by check. My only concern is if she is going to accept my check since she demanded cash and if she is going to return my sons blanket. I have done what i can to try to substitute for my son but it is still majorly affecting his routine and is a daily issue.
I am most upset because I feel like a dispute between her and I was taken much further than needed and my son was harmed. It might not seem like a big deal to most, but if you have ever dealt with an autistic child you understand how bid of a deal it can be.Comment
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