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Hey all,
I have had some problems with a DCP recently, and not sure what I can do if anything. Here is what is going on:
My children are good children.... And I am not one of those mothers that says her rotten kid is good. You can ask anyone who has spent any amount of time with my kids and they will tell you the same thing. Some daycares are just not a good fit, but if a daycare is not a good fit, then admit it for what it is. Don’t blame it on the child! Don’t force parents to move their children quickly by charging them an outrageous amount of money.
My oldest son is in the Autism spectrum. His areas are sensory, social situations and communication. He tends to seek out certain sensations (tickling, heavy touch, rough housing) and avoids others (kisses, anything sticky) He does not understand appropriate social behavior and has a hard time communicating with his peers. He is a very black and white rule oriented child. Either its ok or its not. He has been attending ABC daycare since September 2012. From the time my children started there they have been rough housing with the providers husband. It is a “special treat” and something they get to do if they have had a good day/week. Soon after they started there my youngest son scratched another kid in the eye (her child). It was a inappropriate reaction, but it was also provoked. A few months later my oldest son hit another child. The provider, had assigned my son as her “helper.” It was clean up time and the toddler boy would not clean up, my son took the toy away from him to put away, the toddler took the toy back, my son hit him. When I talked to my son about it he admitted that he had hit him because he “took the toy away from him and wouldn’t clean up” the last incident was the one that caused the provider to remove my children from her daycare. The boys (my oldest, my youngest, her 5 year old and her 3 year old) were “racing” outside. The 3 year old was in the lead an my son pushed him, the child fell and busted his lip open. When my son was asked why he pushed the other child he said it was “because he wanted to win.” The 3 incidents listed are the only ones I have been notified about besides some rough-housing.
On 4/18/13 I received a letter from the provider after she picked up my oldest son at preschool stating that my childcare was being terminated because my children are too rough. I had 4 weeks to remove my children and I needed to pay $1200 plus whatever I was past due (300 for the week I received the termination notice) on or before 4/26/13. As that dollar amount was more than my entire paycheck, I was forced to find temporary daycare as soon as possible. I was able to find someone for the following Monday, so my children would only need to attend her daycare for one more day. I decided not to inform her until the last minute that my children would no longer be attending. But due to my oldest overhearing a phone conversation, 11:00 that day she was made aware that it would be their last day. She asked if I was going to pay her. I let her know that I would pay her 4/26/13. (this is not only the normal day that I paid her but the day specified in my written notice). She said "OK." After leaving and heading back to work I received a text message from her saying I need to pay her 300.00 cash (I have never paid cash) by 515 that day or she would turn me over to collection.
The provider never notified me that there was a problem other then the ones i have mentioned already. I don't pick up my children most days as i work longer hours. MY boyfriend or my mother usually picks them up. We all work together to make sure my boys are where they need to be when they need to be there and we are all able to fulfill our work obligations. Even though I might not be there at pick up or drop off time. she has my number and she does not hesitate to contact me about getting paid. but I have heard nothing about my childs behavior.
My childcare was terminated because my children were "too rough." I have called preschool teachers, special ED teachers, back up and former daycare providers. None of the people I have contacted have any reports of either one of my children is being rough. As I said before, my oldest sees everything in black and white. Good or bad, wright or wrong. Her husband was roughhousing with my son earlier this week. It happens frequently, and my son seeks it out because it is a sensation he enjoys. The provider will grab him and tickle him in a form of roughhouse play, this I have also witnessed recently. I don’t have a problem with this behavior because it is enjoyable for my son. But here lies the problem. The providers have made it ok for my son to roughhouse but now no longer want him to attend their daycare because he is too rough. My son doesn’t understand that something is ok sometimes and not ok other times. He doesn’t understand that it is ok to do things with some people and not with others. He knows They are the boss at daycare. They roughhouse with him at daycare. Therefore roughhousing is ok at daycare. He doesn’t understand that others have feelings, and he doesn’t understand when it is to stop a behavior. So this rough behavior that he is being punished for, is caused by them. But my son is the one who is punished.
So even though his behavior is not ok, it is caused by the environment. But instead of taking responsibility for cause of the behavior, she decides that my children are too rough to attend her daycare. I receive a text message every other thursday night before payment is due reminding me to pay the following day but not one message about my sons behavior. I now think my children were asked to leave for another reason. On the list you sent me I noticed Provider was listed under the self-declared providers, and as a self declared provider, she is only allowed to have 5 children, including her own. the provider had 8. she had my two boys, plus 4 other children, only one of my boys where there until 1030-1100 each day. She also has 2 after school. From 3 to 5 she had 8 kids. And i was contacted from someone who wanted to ask me some questions about her daycare because her 10 month old was starting on Monday. She also posted on her facebook site that her mom was moving to town, and once that happened she would be taking on more kids.
Another issue I have is that i have been required to pay for every time she has been closed. Her contract does state I have to pay if my child is there or not, and she has paid holidays and lists the holidays. It does not state anything about sick days or vacation days being paid. But I have paid for all of them. this has been a total of 10 days since the 1st of the year. I have had to pay for vacation days before with past daycares and have no problem with that, but with past daycares it was always stated clearly in the contract to expect those charges. This is particularly upsetting to me now in light of what happened today.
As I mentioned before. I received a text message at 1154 am, after we had verbally agreed that i would pay on 4/26/13, "I will need the $300.00 tonight by 5:15. And cash only? Also if not pd it will. go to collections. I will have there. things packed up." I called my boyfriend and explained the text message and situation as he picks up the kids. I told him i do not have 300.00 right now, I could not go to the bank to get cash and wouldn't have it anyways until my payday (4/26/13). He said he would speak with the provider for me when he picked up the boys. I did not respond to her message. When boyfriend arrived to pick up my boys, she asked if i had given him any money. He told her I had not and would pay her on the previously agreed upon day. She refused to give my children the blankets that they had brought to daycare for quite time because I had not paid. This caused my autistic son much distress and he had a total melt down. My son was heartbroken. All he wanted was his blanket and she refused to give it to him until I pay her the 300.00.
I understand that neither one of us have probably handled the situation very well, but her completely unprofessional behavior is uncalled for. She has a dispute with me, not my son. He does not deserve the treatment He has received. All the poor kid wanted was his angry birds blanket, I have never not paid or shorted her before. Every check i have given her has been good. If there were any financial problems I would make her aware of them and make arrangements with her. there is no reason for her to believe that I would not pay her on the date we originally agreed. And to cause my child to have a complete meltdown to prove a point to me, is completely uncalled for.
Change is not an easy thing for a child with autism. And the events that happened today will definitely have a negative affect on my son. I did tell my children that Provider did not want them to go to her house anymore. They wanted to know why today was there last day, and I do not believe in lying to my children, especially when it is something they may overhear in a conversation. Since DS is so grounded in rules and reality, not in pretend or the abstract, if i am truthful in my answers with him and explain things in a logical way that he will understand he his more accepting of the change.
I contacted social services and they are going to look into the roughhousing and the too many children, but they cannot address "contract disputes" and feel that the rest of my issue are contract related. I am not sure what I can do. I live in an area where childcare is very hard to find and alot of providers are taking advantage of this. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
I have had some problems with a DCP recently, and not sure what I can do if anything. Here is what is going on:
My children are good children.... And I am not one of those mothers that says her rotten kid is good. You can ask anyone who has spent any amount of time with my kids and they will tell you the same thing. Some daycares are just not a good fit, but if a daycare is not a good fit, then admit it for what it is. Don’t blame it on the child! Don’t force parents to move their children quickly by charging them an outrageous amount of money.
My oldest son is in the Autism spectrum. His areas are sensory, social situations and communication. He tends to seek out certain sensations (tickling, heavy touch, rough housing) and avoids others (kisses, anything sticky) He does not understand appropriate social behavior and has a hard time communicating with his peers. He is a very black and white rule oriented child. Either its ok or its not. He has been attending ABC daycare since September 2012. From the time my children started there they have been rough housing with the providers husband. It is a “special treat” and something they get to do if they have had a good day/week. Soon after they started there my youngest son scratched another kid in the eye (her child). It was a inappropriate reaction, but it was also provoked. A few months later my oldest son hit another child. The provider, had assigned my son as her “helper.” It was clean up time and the toddler boy would not clean up, my son took the toy away from him to put away, the toddler took the toy back, my son hit him. When I talked to my son about it he admitted that he had hit him because he “took the toy away from him and wouldn’t clean up” the last incident was the one that caused the provider to remove my children from her daycare. The boys (my oldest, my youngest, her 5 year old and her 3 year old) were “racing” outside. The 3 year old was in the lead an my son pushed him, the child fell and busted his lip open. When my son was asked why he pushed the other child he said it was “because he wanted to win.” The 3 incidents listed are the only ones I have been notified about besides some rough-housing.
On 4/18/13 I received a letter from the provider after she picked up my oldest son at preschool stating that my childcare was being terminated because my children are too rough. I had 4 weeks to remove my children and I needed to pay $1200 plus whatever I was past due (300 for the week I received the termination notice) on or before 4/26/13. As that dollar amount was more than my entire paycheck, I was forced to find temporary daycare as soon as possible. I was able to find someone for the following Monday, so my children would only need to attend her daycare for one more day. I decided not to inform her until the last minute that my children would no longer be attending. But due to my oldest overhearing a phone conversation, 11:00 that day she was made aware that it would be their last day. She asked if I was going to pay her. I let her know that I would pay her 4/26/13. (this is not only the normal day that I paid her but the day specified in my written notice). She said "OK." After leaving and heading back to work I received a text message from her saying I need to pay her 300.00 cash (I have never paid cash) by 515 that day or she would turn me over to collection.
The provider never notified me that there was a problem other then the ones i have mentioned already. I don't pick up my children most days as i work longer hours. MY boyfriend or my mother usually picks them up. We all work together to make sure my boys are where they need to be when they need to be there and we are all able to fulfill our work obligations. Even though I might not be there at pick up or drop off time. she has my number and she does not hesitate to contact me about getting paid. but I have heard nothing about my childs behavior.
My childcare was terminated because my children were "too rough." I have called preschool teachers, special ED teachers, back up and former daycare providers. None of the people I have contacted have any reports of either one of my children is being rough. As I said before, my oldest sees everything in black and white. Good or bad, wright or wrong. Her husband was roughhousing with my son earlier this week. It happens frequently, and my son seeks it out because it is a sensation he enjoys. The provider will grab him and tickle him in a form of roughhouse play, this I have also witnessed recently. I don’t have a problem with this behavior because it is enjoyable for my son. But here lies the problem. The providers have made it ok for my son to roughhouse but now no longer want him to attend their daycare because he is too rough. My son doesn’t understand that something is ok sometimes and not ok other times. He doesn’t understand that it is ok to do things with some people and not with others. He knows They are the boss at daycare. They roughhouse with him at daycare. Therefore roughhousing is ok at daycare. He doesn’t understand that others have feelings, and he doesn’t understand when it is to stop a behavior. So this rough behavior that he is being punished for, is caused by them. But my son is the one who is punished.
So even though his behavior is not ok, it is caused by the environment. But instead of taking responsibility for cause of the behavior, she decides that my children are too rough to attend her daycare. I receive a text message every other thursday night before payment is due reminding me to pay the following day but not one message about my sons behavior. I now think my children were asked to leave for another reason. On the list you sent me I noticed Provider was listed under the self-declared providers, and as a self declared provider, she is only allowed to have 5 children, including her own. the provider had 8. she had my two boys, plus 4 other children, only one of my boys where there until 1030-1100 each day. She also has 2 after school. From 3 to 5 she had 8 kids. And i was contacted from someone who wanted to ask me some questions about her daycare because her 10 month old was starting on Monday. She also posted on her facebook site that her mom was moving to town, and once that happened she would be taking on more kids.
Another issue I have is that i have been required to pay for every time she has been closed. Her contract does state I have to pay if my child is there or not, and she has paid holidays and lists the holidays. It does not state anything about sick days or vacation days being paid. But I have paid for all of them. this has been a total of 10 days since the 1st of the year. I have had to pay for vacation days before with past daycares and have no problem with that, but with past daycares it was always stated clearly in the contract to expect those charges. This is particularly upsetting to me now in light of what happened today.
As I mentioned before. I received a text message at 1154 am, after we had verbally agreed that i would pay on 4/26/13, "I will need the $300.00 tonight by 5:15. And cash only? Also if not pd it will. go to collections. I will have there. things packed up." I called my boyfriend and explained the text message and situation as he picks up the kids. I told him i do not have 300.00 right now, I could not go to the bank to get cash and wouldn't have it anyways until my payday (4/26/13). He said he would speak with the provider for me when he picked up the boys. I did not respond to her message. When boyfriend arrived to pick up my boys, she asked if i had given him any money. He told her I had not and would pay her on the previously agreed upon day. She refused to give my children the blankets that they had brought to daycare for quite time because I had not paid. This caused my autistic son much distress and he had a total melt down. My son was heartbroken. All he wanted was his blanket and she refused to give it to him until I pay her the 300.00.
I understand that neither one of us have probably handled the situation very well, but her completely unprofessional behavior is uncalled for. She has a dispute with me, not my son. He does not deserve the treatment He has received. All the poor kid wanted was his angry birds blanket, I have never not paid or shorted her before. Every check i have given her has been good. If there were any financial problems I would make her aware of them and make arrangements with her. there is no reason for her to believe that I would not pay her on the date we originally agreed. And to cause my child to have a complete meltdown to prove a point to me, is completely uncalled for.
Change is not an easy thing for a child with autism. And the events that happened today will definitely have a negative affect on my son. I did tell my children that Provider did not want them to go to her house anymore. They wanted to know why today was there last day, and I do not believe in lying to my children, especially when it is something they may overhear in a conversation. Since DS is so grounded in rules and reality, not in pretend or the abstract, if i am truthful in my answers with him and explain things in a logical way that he will understand he his more accepting of the change.
I contacted social services and they are going to look into the roughhousing and the too many children, but they cannot address "contract disputes" and feel that the rest of my issue are contract related. I am not sure what I can do. I live in an area where childcare is very hard to find and alot of providers are taking advantage of this. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
: will wait
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