21 Month Old Being Strapped In At Preschool

[Guest]

Background:
First time mommy and first preschool experience. My son attends a private preschool in South Florida and has been enrolled for five months. He is 21 months old. This preschool gets rave reviews and has a great reputation. My son loves his teacher and school and has learned so much already. However, I now have an issue where I need an unbiased honest opinion.....help!!

I showed up just before lunch time one day to drop off my son to preschool as he had a check up that morning at the Doc's office that morning. As I was signing him in I heard the teacher ask my son to come and sit in his chair. When I looked over he was being strapped in at the waist into a basic wood chair that had three straps at the waist to restrain him. He seemed to be ok with it and I watched him for a few minutes before I left, partly out of shock and partly to see how he reacted to the chair. I wanted to take him out immediately and address the issue with the teacher but my son was just being served his lunch and was hungry. I noticed tha his five other classmates had basic toddler chairs to sit in.

I asked the teacher why was he in this chair and she said because he will not sit at lunch time and gets up to walk around and/or try to eat other's lunches. I asked the teacher who bought this for my son. She said the Director bought it specifically for him. But when my son is not in school the other children who do not sit during lunch time uses it as well.

I went home and called the Director as soon as she was in the office later that day. The Director first apologized to me for not making me aware of the situation as the teacher was supposed to inform me as I told her that no one ever made me aware of this. To make a long conversation short she told me that the idea of the chair was the teacher's idea because we place him in a highchair to eat at home so they think it would be ok to purchase this chair and use it for him. The chair has been used for a month now specifically for my son because of his wrestlessness during lunch time and never for disciplinary actions. She said he seems to be doing better and likes the chair. But what I witnessed was they never gave him a chance to act up. They just automatically brough out his chair.

Here is a link to a similar chair:

http://www.amazon.com/Steffy-Wood-Products-9-Inch-Toddler/dp/B008FLARJA

I do not know what to believe because I have observed his class and I do believe the teacher is new, very tired and worn out from the kids on a daily basis but is good with the kids. My son is the youngest and is the only boy in the class so he is full of energy! But there are no cameras for me to view him so he or the teacher does not know I am observing. How do I know they only use it for lunch time? Wouldn't the right way to correct this behavior would be to work with my son to sit instead of the chair? He really is a good kid and not that uncontrollable. Not sure why she feels he needs to be restrained.

I am trying to keep emotions out of this and convey the story exactly as I see it. As a first time Mommy, who pays a lot of money to a preschool with only one teacher to six kids, I want to pull my kid out of there and never look back to say the least. I feel so sorry for him to see him in that rediculous chair. So is this standard for a preschool to implement this type of punishment? Am I over reacting to want to not take my son back there?

[MizzCheryl]

Feeding toddlers is a HIGH RISK time of day. They need to be seated and safe during meals. Besides your child, the staff has to think of the safety of all the children they are caring for. He is still very young and you feed him in a highchair at home, right? I think it is very thoughtful and wonderful that, instead of dragging in a high chair, the puchased this chair especially for your son. With this chair he get the social interaction and freedom of enjoying lunch with his peers and he is safe.
What a wonderful childcare provider you have.

[Crazy In Mo]

I'm guessing that it bothered you more because it was ONLY your child using a seat like this than the actual seat itself. The seat is perfect for toddlers! But no one wants to see their child getting treated differently. That part would bother me also! What I would do is stop using the high chair at home and help him transition to the table I think that type of seat is a great idea to help little ones transition from a high chair to the big kid table. I definitely don't think they are doing it to be mean.

Would it of bothered you if all the kids would have been in a seat like that?

I don't see any difference in strapping him into a high chair or strapping him into the chair above

[Lawson2]

As a mother, I personally wouldn't be concerned. I have a 2 year old son. As an example... If we are at a restaurant, we sit him on a chair. If he starts trying to roam around, my husband and I will ask for a high hair. We aren't trying to "demean" our 2 year old. He just needs to learn to sit through a meal properly. It's a manner he is working on. As you said, your child seems very happy with his teacher and he sat in the booster seat with no problems. I think the chair is a great option to assist with meal time.
I work with children part time and during this time, my son attends daycare. I really don't question (or micro manage) my son's provider- as I truly trust her and the decisions she makes as a daycare provider. With that being said, go with your gut. If your child was screaming with fear and the teacher was forcing him into a chair restraint, you obviously would have a reason for concern. But, I would personally let this go and work on having him out of his high chair at home.

[kitykids3]

That is not a punishment they are inflicting on your son. They actually did something pretty nice by buying a chair specifically for your son to use to sit at the table with peers. It sounds like at 21 months he does not know how to sit at the table to eat a meal and stay seated. When your child is in a daycare, the teachers need to do what is best for the whole group. They can't have children up wandering around eating off of others' plates during lunch time. Although in a ideal world, the teacher could sit next to him, it doesn't always work that way, especially if you've got six kids to watch. Instead of thinking of it as punishment for your son and wanting to pull him, you should be grateful they are making accommodations (that cost extra money) specific to your son's needs til he learns to sit properly at the table on his own.

[MarinaVanessa]

I agree with Crazy In MO, I don't think it's being done as punishment as he clearly (based on what I read in the OP) doesn't have a problem with it. I use a similar approach with my DCK's. Some toddlers are simply not used to staying in their seat and when this happens during a time like meals and snack then:

• Kids get up and get distracted and want to play instead of play so they don't get to eat a complete meal and are hungry later
• Kids will eat and pick off of other kids plates (which is unsanitary)
• Kisd take food from the table and walk around with it and may drop it (also unsanitary)
• Other kids the same age see this and then believe that they can do this also

I think it's the staff's honest attempt to try to keep the group together for supervision and not out of malice. As suggested I would buy your son a small child's size table and chair set and have him practice eating meals at the table at home. Stop using his high-chair at home and don't allow him to get up out of his seat during snacks and meals unless he is finished or the meal is over.

Tell the staff at your son's DC that you are doing so and when you see improvement ask that they try to allow him to sit in a regular toddler seat. It will take practice but I think that with patience you can teach him to stay in his seat for meals.

[itlw8]

If the teacher said sit in your chair or I will strap you in that chair.. THEN I would be worried. But they use it every day.

I use a transition chair much like it. Mine also has a tray that I use with the babies. Then when they start to sit at the table I still use the safety straps. Then I start to try with out as they get older. Eventually they move to the other chairs with no sides.

I bought my first one when I had a child with special needs and we worried about him falling off a regular chair.


I assume when he is done they let him leave the table like all the other children. So no a transition chair is a good thing expecially for a chid still in a highchair at home.

[Heidi]

I agree with the PP's.

It's typical for children this age to be in highchairs. In any regulated daycare, a highchair would be required to have safety straps. One wouldn't consider them a punishment.

According to FCCER"s, which is an environmental rating scale that rates "high-quality" care, children should have seats that allow their feet to touch the floor and their backs supported.

The chair your center is using just combines those two principles-allowing him the ability to get in and out of the chair, while keeping him and the other children in the group safe.

Here is a website for a reputable company that sells chairs just for childcare.

http://www.communityplaythings.com/resources/articles/chairchart.html

Perhaps you could order a little table and chairs just for your little guy to practice at home? If you feed him his snacks there? Then, as soon as he attempts to get up, you say "when you stand up, that shows me that you are done. Are you all done? " Then, follow through and put his snack away. Since at home you're one-on-one, you'd have a little time to work on that. He can also sit there to color or do a special puzzle. Again, if he gets up, he's showing you he's done.

[SilverSabre25]

My little boy is 20 months today, busy, high energy, and very gross-motor-driven. It's not a problem, it's a boy. As a baby he would do his damnedest to get out of the high chair and straps were not enough to contain him. we're working on teaching him to sit still but he's little and my DD was like this too as a toddler. She outgrew it. Because he's mine, I can let him get up and roam and graze and climb up and climb down and switch seats....

but not mine? Or in a center? No way, that wouldn't fly. To purchase a seat with straps like that is what some would call "least restrictive environment" or altering a situation to fit the child, rather than trying to alter the child to fit the situation. And it's actually amazing--down right AMAZING--that you have such a great preschool that they are willing to make a purchase to benefit one child (sure, it will help others down the road too). They are altering their environment to give your child the best opportunity to succeed. That's a rare find in a center environment.

[JenNJ]

I see his lunch behavior as a risk. Risk of choking for him and others, risk of spreading germs, and risk of injury. I think placing him a seat as a preventative measure is taking the safe route. They can't wait for him to act up first. It would be dangerous for everyone. Meal times are tough with a group of toddlers. I think it is nice they took the time to buy him a special seat so that he can eat with his classmates vs. sitting alone in a high chair.

[youretooloud]

I know i'm making light of your feelings. But, I think that if by 21 months, he can't sit still and eat his own lunch, he needs to be restrained.

I have 12 month olds who sit at a seat without getting up, and without eating other kid's meals.

So, the real issue, is that he needs to learn to sit at the table without getting up until he's done eating.

I DO think he's too old to be restrained. But, I understand her need to get through lunch without shadowing one child. If this tool helps her get through a day with a group of kids, I would just drop the subject and work with him at home.

I'm going to guess that if you had him sit unrestrained at home during your family meals, you will quickly find out why others feel they need a special chair for him. If he's not sad about it, let it be until he learns table manners.

[cheerfuldom]

I dont see a problem with it.

If you cant get him to eat at the table without a high chair, why is it surprising that the teacher with a classroom full of other kids cannot do this either?

I would start working on getting him to eat at a small table at home, if it bothers you so much. Perhaps the extra instruction will help him be able to do this at daycare. OR perhaps you will struggle with this and see first hand what the teacher is dealing with.

[LK5kids]

I don't see a problem with it either. Looks like a wonderful chair!

Some kids will sit at a younger age, some will not. It is very hard to feed a group of kids if they are getting up continually. I have 2 two yr. olds i care for who squirm and sit sideways and sometimes get up. They are young twos.

I think you said all the other kids are a bit older and they are probably ready to sit on their own. Your little guy probably eats better with this chair. Would you be concerned if he was in a reg. high chair?

This would be a problem if they were using it during playtime to restrain him but is totally appropriate during lunch.

[Unregistered]

Consider yourself fortunate

Background:
First time mommy and first preschool experience. My son attends a private preschool in South Florida and has been enrolled for five months. He is 21 months old. This preschool gets rave reviews and has a great reputation. My son loves his teacher and school and has learned so much already. However, I now have an issue where I need an unbiased honest opinion.....help!!

I showed up just before lunch time one day to drop off my son to preschool as he had a check up that morning at the Doc's office that morning. As I was signing him in I heard the teacher ask my son to come and sit in his chair. When I looked over he was being strapped in at the waist into a basic wood chair that had three straps at the waist to restrain him. He seemed to be ok with it and I watched him for a few minutes before I left, partly out of shock and partly to see how he reacted to the chair. I wanted to take him out immediately and address the issue with the teacher but my son was just being served his lunch and was hungry. I noticed tha his five other classmates had basic toddler chairs to sit in.

I asked the teacher why was he in this chair and she said because he will not sit at lunch time and gets up to walk around and/or try to eat other's lunches. I asked the teacher who bought this for my son. She said the Director bought it specifically for him. But when my son is not in school the other children who do not sit during lunch time uses it as well.

I went home and called the Director as soon as she was in the office later that day. The Director first apologized to me for not making me aware of the situation as the teacher was supposed to inform me as I told her that no one ever made me aware of this. To make a long conversation short she told me that the idea of the chair was the teacher's idea because we place him in a highchair to eat at home so they think it would be ok to purchase this chair and use it for him. The chair has been used for a month now specifically for my son because of his wrestlessness during lunch time and never for disciplinary actions. She said he seems to be doing better and likes the chair. But what I witnessed was they never gave him a chance to act up. They just automatically brough out his chair.

Here is a link to a similar chair:

http://www.amazon.com/Steffy-Wood-Products-9-Inch-Toddler/dp/B008FLARJA

I do not know what to believe because I have observed his class and I do believe the teacher is new, very tired and worn out from the kids on a daily basis but is good with the kids. My son is the youngest and is the only boy in the class so he is full of energy! But there are no cameras for me to view him so he or the teacher does not know I am observing. How do I know they only use it for lunch time? Wouldn't the right way to correct this behavior would be to work with my son to sit instead of the chair? He really is a good kid and not that uncontrollable. Not sure why she feels he needs to be restrained.

I am trying to keep emotions out of this and convey the story exactly as I see it. As a first time Mommy, who pays a lot of money to a preschool with only one teacher to six kids, I want to pull my kid out of there and never look back to say the least. I feel so sorry for him to see him in that rediculous chair. So is this standard for a preschool to implement this type of punishment? Am I over reacting to want to not take my son back there?

I think that you should consider yourself fortunate that the center cares enough for your child's well being that they would cover the cost for a set that will make sure that he is safe and secure during meal times.

I know that you feel upset over this whole ordeal and if if bothers you that much, switch childcare. It's that simple.

[butterfly]

Start working on it at home. If he can sit for meals with your family without a high chair then I'd be upset. Until you stop the high chair at home, I don't see what there is to be upset about.