Most Important Aspects to Consider for Picking Childcare Provider?

[Blackcat31]

I do not use time out for any age.....we use redirection for everyone. If a child can not participate or play cooperatively then they need to be redirected to another activity. Sometimes it is alone or into another group...depends on the age, the setting, the act performed to get the redirection and most of all it depends on the child. Every child is different and sometimes a warning works and sometimes I have to follow through with many rounds of redirection until they finally get it.....Heck, no two days are even the same so it totally depends on alot of factors. I also believe that if time-out is used, it should be 1 minute per age. IMO, 10 minutes in time out negates the reason for time-out. If they sit in time-out for ten minutes I don't think they even remember why they are there any more.

[caregiver]

One more thing, if the child just gets a talking to and redirection, like if they take a toy away from another child, they might just keep taking toys away from another child because the talking to isn't doing any good, just because you get down with them and say, try choosing another toy or it is not nice to take things away from another child, it might not mean enough to them and they might just keep doing because they know the provider will just keep saying to do something else and that is not enough to make them stop what they are doing. Showing them that they might have to sit in time out for awhile, several times if the keep doing it, will maybe register to them tahat they can't get away with doing what they are doing again, when they know they will have to do time out. It will soon sink into them that maybe taking the toy away is not a good thing to do, where if they think all you are going to do is talk to them, it does not mean anything to them and that they think they can still do that all they want,there is no consquences that they will have. "Why should I stop taking the toy away from the other little girl when all my provider will do to me is talk to me, that means nothing to me" They might think." Nothing is going to make me stop doing this"

[caregiver]

Sure they remember why they are in time out. I explain to them why they were put in time out and when time out is finished I ask them why they were put in time out and they know, believe me, they understand. We don't give kids enough credit, they are smart and like to test us to see what we will let them get by with and then figure out what they can't get by with.
Putting them in another room or situation does no good also, it does not cure the misbehavior problem, just gives them something else to do. but doesn't teach them what they did was wrong. You have to teach them, not negotiate with them. To me that does not solve the misbehavior. Words mean nothing to some kids but consequences do. That is why there are so many as I call them sometimes Brats out there because they know that they will get what they want and no one is going to do anything to them to make them stop. Come on people, this world of ours is so full of self centered people because they have gotten their way in life and no one has called them on it because they have not learned that sometimes you have to be held accountable for your actions, which comes from a young age. You need to be reinforcing to children that at what ever age they are,they are accountable for their actions.

[caregiver]

By the way, if your wondering why I am on here so much today, it is because I have the week off, so have time to read and respond.

[Aya477]

Robin,
You are welcome to have your own set of beliefs on disciplining children just as I have my own beliefs. You do not know my child nor the other parent's child(ren) who commented above that he wanted "up to date discipling IE Redirection" to discern that either of us are failing as parents because we do not use nor advocate time outs and thus perpetuate what you apparently believe to be a society of "brats" who are "self centered" and undisciplined from lack of time outs.

I don't use time outs for my son (4yo) and he is by far better behaved than any of my friend's children who think they are such great parents because they subscribe to the latest parenting trends and read various parenting books. I get a laugh at how ridiculous the parents behave with their children while they toss them in time out and sternly tell the child "No. No. Do not do such and such again". These parents find themselves once again punishing their child for the same behavior shortly after the last punishment is over because their child is not learning from these discipline methods. My hubby & I talk to our son about his actions to verbalize why an action is not acceptable, dangerous, or inappropriate. A time out is not necessary to do that. While we watch movies, we also use that as an opportunity to discuss scenarios that we would like for him to avoid or be educated about. And by choosing a center that does not use time-outs, he has others throughout the day using "WORDS" (the very thing that providers encourage children to do) to explain why actions are not appropriate. So it is important to me to have a center that does not subscribe to anything other than redirection. What parents want in a daycare was the purpose of the thread.

No child knows exactly what to do, what not to do, and what their actions could cause (hurt themselves, hurt someone, etc). Children must be taught these things. It is a mistake to believe that parents are failing because they do not subscribe to time outs or any other form of disciplining. It is also a mistake to assume that parents who do not use time outs or discipline have the type of child you described above as a result. If your group of parents use time out at home and desire you to do the same, then that works great for you and your beliefs. Please be open minded and courteous enough to understand that your methods are not the golden rule of parenting and the rest of the world is welcome to choose their own style.

[Cat Herder]

I posted this in the provider section. This is our current state training on discipline. Granted it can be difficult in group care as the way kids act at home and how they act in a GROUP are as different as adults in the same situations Group mentality, jealousy and control issues can be VERY difficult...

Anyway, I give a copy of this to my parents and now I share with you guys.

THE ABC’S OF BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT
Always consider the child’s feelings. Be courteous and expect courtesy. Avoid embarrassing a
child.
Be alert and observant. Develop an ability to always see or know what is going on in your
group. Convey your alertness and attentiveness to the children. This is perhaps the most
effective way to prevent problems before
they occur.
Choose your words carefully when problems do arise.
Discipline yourself. In other words, control your temper. Some children enjoy seeing your
reactions to their behavior. In addition, you may be inadvertently teaching children that angry
outbursts are acceptable.
Excessive flattery as a technique to motivate or control is ineffective. Children regard this
technique as phony “gushiness.” It deteriorates the esteem the students hold for you as an
adult. Acceptance of each child must be sincere and unconditional.
Firmness and fairness should abide.
Good humor goes a long way. Children who see you happy are more likely to be happy
themselves. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
Handle problems yourself as much as possible. Do not threaten to send a child to the
supervisor. In fact, be very careful about threatening anything. Threats can cause a power
struggle which generally escalates into a no-win situation.
Ignore those behaviors that are just to get attention.
Join the children at the back of the line. That way you can see all of them as they go down the
hall.
Keep this simple idea in mind...We are not dealing with children who are problems, but rather
children who may have problems.
Lead and train children at the beginning of the year.
Make positive statements as much as possible. Warm responses and wholesome child
demeanor are largely a result of the degree of positivism the teacher shows the children.
Never underestimate the power of your appearance. Staff members should dress appropriately.
Wear comfortable clothing and shoes, but exercise good taste. Remember the manner in which
you dress sets the climate for your group.
Options are important to children. Vary activities to reduce boredom and enhance their
interest.
Proximity control is an effective preventative approach. Some misbehavior can be stopped by
moving close to the child who is causing the problem.
Quiet activities can be just as much fun as noisy ones.
Routine rules and procedures such as room use, returning and leaving the room, distributing
materials, and cleanup should be presented beforehand. Smoother transitions occur when time
is invested in teaching children such procedures early in the program.
Show the children you are up for the challenge. A well-organized plan is the most essential key
to good behavior. There is no substitute for being well prepared. Remember: Staff who fail to
plan, plan to fail.
Try to predict what would confuse or distract children.
Use natural consequences as appropriate. Try to devise a consequence that is a natural
outgrowth of the behavior. For example—have a child sweep the room if he or she has been
throwing sand from the sand and water table.
Value each child and time spent with every child. Make the most of it. Understand that while
children are with you, your role becomes both teacher and substitute parent.
Watch the amount of attention you give to individual children. Whether it is for a problem or
not, children “tune in” to how much time you spend with others. Refrain from favoritism.
Children can sense this immediately.
X-pect to have fun. Meeting your own expectations always makes you feel good about yourself
and the program.
Yelling is not effective with children. Teachers who use this approach may have quiet,
controlled children one moment, and angry, hostile ones the next.
Zoom in and handle problems quickly. The sooner the problem is handled, the less disruptive it
will become. When you see disruptive behavior let the child know immediately. Otherwise, by
“letting it slide” you are in effect, telling the child that the behavior is acceptable.

[Unregistered]

Great information

Great information, thanks!! Very helpful. I like your site!
Angela

https://www.daycareheadquarters.com

[melissa ann]

Kids need discipline and too many kids these days are not getting it and you as parents NEED to STEP up and be the parent and not let your child be naughty and know they can get away with it. You are the parent, not their friend and to many of you are afraid to be the parent and want to let them do whatever they want so they will like you. Let them get mad at you, then they will know you are the boss, which you should be and not let them be your boss![/FONT]

Sorry to put it like this to you parents, but over the years I have seen to many parents being bossed by their child, who may be only 2 or 3 yrs old and that is not being a good example to your kids. They need to know you are in charge.

Totally agree. I have a 3yr old dcg who is the boss of her mom and thinks she can pull that crap on me. I DON'T THINK SO. And too many parents want to be "friends" with their kids. I tell my own 2 that I am your mother and not your friend. And when they do something wrong (unacceptable) there will be consquences. BYW, my kids are 3 1/2 and 6.