Another Boy Touching My Son In Preschool

[ursy]

With young children it frequently is a sign of sexual abuse when they act out like this little boy did. I remember one little girl in our center who acted out sexually and she was being abused. We had to report this and have it investigated. It's such a sad thing.

[Unregistered]

Just wondering why the bedding is so close, that the boy can touch him in the first place. I have at least 30 inches between each mat, and I believe that is regulation in my state. All of my children are required to be on their own mats only. I am always watching the children, unless I am certain they are all asleep. Just not sure how this could even have happened.

[Jewels]

I think its probably normal personally, I have 3, 3 and 4 yr old, who I have caught at nap time with their pants off (they stay up and play quietly and watch cartoons in a seperate room, and I check on them every 10 mins) 1 boy and 2 girls, and they were "smelling each others butts" they said, I mean gross, but I guess one noticed a funny smell, and wanted to see if it was mutual, and normal curiosity at the areas that are hidden, they are just little kids who just don't understand. We of course talked about it, and I told the parents, and whenever those 3 are together, I say "pants need to stay on!" I once had a 2 or 3 yr old ask my 1 or 2 yr old daughter to touch his penis, that one disturbed me a little, I was actually right there in the room, and I told his parents, but in no way would ever think he
s abused, and he's never done anything like it since, and he's almost 5 now. My son is an avid floor humper, has been since he was 1 yr old, he's 6 now and knows to keep it in his bedroom, I've always told him he's doing nothing wrong, it just needs to stay in his bedroom. I think there is alot of curiosity even at a young age with some children.

I think its great that he told you, and it was able to be addressed, and its being watched closely now, but it doesn't seem to me, to be necessary to get the cops involved on a 4 yr olds probably innocent curiosity.

[Unregistered]

your statement and facts don't add up

It is most definitely *NOT* common for children to engage others in sexual behaviors at the age of 4. Here is a link I was provided in a handout I got from a training I took as a foster parent:

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/3/992.full

This link in particular focuses on normal to abnormal sexual behaviors for children ages 2-6.

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/124/3/992/T1.expansion.html

Specifically listed under "Uncommon Behaviors in Normal Children" is "Asking peer/adult to engage in specific sexual act(s)"

YOU SAID THAT IT'S NOT NORMAL, BUT YOUR ARTICLES SAY IT IS NORMAL. 4 YEAR OLDS TOUCHING THEIR PEERS IS NORMAL.

[Cradle2crayons]

From all of my training and experience, its definitely not COMMON, but that doesn't mean it's ABNORMAL.

I think the important information here is that the kids are the same age, read "peers".

Kids who aren't sexually abused are curious. And of course, since sexuality is a "hidden" thing, and secretive to children, the fact the kid did it while the teacher wasn't looking doesn't mean he was necessarily being deceptive. It does mean he understands that private areas are secretive, but to him it may not be "wrong".

It's been reported to the parents. It sounds like the school and counselor are involved. Ad it sounds like the school is taking it seriously. Bravo to all involved.

And bravo to the brave one who told his parents. Good job parents!!!

[kimmills]

I would also say that it would be better not to involve an attorney into the matter because innocent 4 year olds are involved and your son would be going through all the questions and the interviews again and again. Secondly, ask the principal to separate the two boys to avoid any such instances in future.

[Unregistered]

heck yes you need to call CPS. The question is why is the school not calling They are mandated reporters. If they do not report ithy can get in trouble. Makes you wonder who they think they are protecting.

In all the classes I have taken that is a classic sign of sexual abuse.It needs to be investigated.

AGREE!!!! I'm a parent and former provider. I know that if I had seen/heard about this in my dacare, it is my OBLIGATION and responsibility to call for any signs of SUSPECTED abuse, regardless. If NO abuse occurred, then no one has anything to worry about, but if abuse DID occur, you have helped that child! Your son should be COMMENDED for coming to you with this. If HE knows it's wrong, then I can't see how they OTHER boy wouldn't think so too. This tells me that a. he hasn't been taught or b. there's more going on than we know.


I have NEVER had any of my dc or my own children do something like this. Now, as 6yo's I have had them "compare" penises, but no one's ever even thought about touching each other. (Yes, I caught them because apparently another child @ school told the one dc kid that he has a small penis in the boys' bathroom and laughed at him, so he came home from school and compared with the other dc boy. Of course, I immediately stopped this and explained that there are penises of ALL sizes and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Never heard another word about it again and dc parents (both boys) understood why they boys did this....VERY different than what you have described here though).