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I think that this might be the issue here. I think that the op is saying that the dcp is a bit heavy handed so to speak.You're right, children don't innately know the sanitary issues. Which is why, as adults, we need to take the time to teach them. It is no different than teaching them to cough or sneeze into their elbows, or to wash their hands before eating, after blowing noses, and bathroom usage. My 1 year old knows that if she has an accident, she will help mommy take a cloth and clean it up, and then we go to wash hands. We talk about staying clean and dry. I go back in afterwards myself and sanitize- she's too young to use chemicals. But she knows the process because I taught her. Kids learn by mistakes, and parents and care providers need to take each opportunity to help them learn.
I personally keep a set of spare clothes for all of the kids that the parents provide, and I have even let a child borrow one of my child's pants before. But that is going above and beyond, as a courtesy to the families, and should be considered an extra special nice gesture. Unfortunately, as providers, we all have been burned too many times by doing extra, and providing things like extra clothes to the parents, which never get returned. (Not saying you are that way-but it happens a lot). If you sent your child to a preschool and your child had an accident, the preschool would not launder your child's clothing, or provide extra clothes for your child to wear. They would just call you to come and pick up your child.
I guess all I am saying is that teaching a child to clean up after themselves is an important life skill. If your child was helping clean up a little bit of her own pee pee with the assistance of a caring adult, and then was taught to wash her hands, etc, then that's really not bad. Most kids enjoy being big helpers and learning self-help skills.Comment
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So then why are you posting here any further. You seem to have decided your pov before you even came on here. Seems to me that you are looking for providers to cosign your thought processes.
In all reality, your child knew she was cleaning up a mess she made. Nothing demeaning about that, unless you are one of the elite that thinks hiring someone to do the job would be a better fit.
While the scenario wasn't what you would have chosen, your child was not abused nor could have suffered emotional damage or any lasting scars. I would have removed my child, but then again I also would have been very well aware of the policy if a child soils their pants. Seems like this is not the first time your child soiled herself there. What happened the other times?Comment
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So then why are you posting here any further. You seem to have decided your pov before you even came on here. Seems to me that you are looking for providers to cosign your thought processes.
In all reality, your child knew she was cleaning up a mess she made. Nothing demeaning about that, unless you are one of the elite that thinks hiring someone to do the job would be a better fit.
While the scenario wasn't what you would have chosen, your child was not abused nor could have suffered emotional damage or any lasting scars. I would have removed my child, but then again I also would have been very well aware of the policy if a child soils their pants. Seems like this is not the first time your child soiled herself there. What happened the other times?
You know, I think that's incredibly unfair to this parent.
Your comment about being one of the "elite" was especially insulting. None of my parents are "elitest" in any way shape or form but yes, they would have that expectation just the same.
What we all perceive as appropriate, inappropriate or even damaging is a matter of perspective and perception (on our end too not having the full picture available here). In the end it doesn't matter what your individual opinion is of what is appropriate. The only thing that matters is a parent has concerns about what THEIR opinion is of what is appropriate.
We are all raised differently. We all have different beliefs. What this boils down to is there being a discrepancy between the beliefs of a parent and their child's daycare provider. This parent came here to bounce their thoughts and feelings. I think that was the right thing to do before jumping the gun. I do the same thing. I think most parents do when it comes to something they feel strongly about but are concerned they're off the mark about.
No matter what this parent does it will be their prerogative to do so, and even if it conflicts with the actions we personally take doesn't necessarily mean they're wrong. All we can do is what believe is right by our own.Comment
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As a provider, there is NO WAY I would EVER have a child clean up their own urine or feces. There are several reasons:
1. It is likely to result in a BIGGER mess than it was initially
2. It is unsanitary....a child of three years old does not have the proper motor or cognitive development to clean up such a mess without getting it on hands/clothes/walls/materials within close proximity
3. It is teaching that the adult is "superior" and what he says goes.....regardless of wether or not it was an accident
4. It IS shaming and demeaning.....the child is likely already feeling guilty and embarassed about the incident itself.....requiring the child to clean it up only draws further attenion to the matter....in front of all of her peers....how could that NOT be shaming and demeaniing the child?
5. Parents PAY ME to care for their child, not to teach them to clean up urine or feces.
6. In regards to teaching responsibility....that's just hokey....there are MANY, MANY teachable moments throughout every single day where we have the opportunity to instill responsibility in children....cleaning up toys, putting away their art materials, USING THE TOILET and other self-care skills, putting away their dishes and cups after mealtime.....
I could go on, and on....but I won't, other than to say if I was the parent of said child, I would be LIVID and the provdider would undoubtedly know IMMEDIATELY.
And, I wonder what other providers here would do if the sho was on the other foot....it is one thing for YOU to have your OWN child do it as your own values as a parent, but what if a provder as making your child do it? How would you HONESTLY feel about it then????
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Wow you are kind of nasty, sorry if the cleaning is your line of work and I offended you. And if you are able to read and comprehend the posts you will see this was the first time this has happened to her there, a matter of fact it is the first time it has happened to her anywhere in the last 5 months.So then why are you posting here any further. You seem to have decided your pov before you even came on here. Seems to me that you are looking for providers to cosign your thought processes.
In all reality, your child knew she was cleaning up a mess she made. Nothing demeaning about that, unless you are one of the elite that thinks hiring someone to do the job would be a better fit.
While the scenario wasn't what you would have chosen, your child was not abused nor could have suffered emotional damage or any lasting scars. I would have removed my child, but then again I also would have been very well aware of the policy if a child soils their pants. Seems like this is not the first time your child soiled herself there. What happened the other times?
If you were able to follow the posts you would see I took the advice of someone after my original post and called the licensing agency and found out about the regulation later in the day yesterday. So in other words, by my posting I was able to educate myself and get good advice which I followed.
But in addition, I did want to find out from others if I was over-reacting or this was normal day care operating procedures, which I have found out it definitely wasn't.
And how do you know with the operators attitude and actions she wasn't scarred? She did ask today if she had to go to "Jeff's" next week.
Thanks again to everyone for the good advice.Comment
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Extremely well said and thought out, thanks!As a provider, there is NO WAY I would EVER have a child clean up their own urine or feces. There are several reasons:
1. It is likely to result in a BIGGER mess than it was initially
2. It is unsanitary....a child of three years old does not have the proper motor or cognitive development to clean up such a mess without getting it on hands/clothes/walls/materials within close proximity
3. It is teaching that the adult is "superior" and what he says goes.....regardless of wether or not it was an accident
4. It IS shaming and demeaning.....the child is likely already feeling guilty and embarassed about the incident itself.....requiring the child to clean it up only draws further attenion to the matter....in front of all of her peers....how could that NOT be shaming and demeaniing the child?
5. Parents PAY ME to care for their child, not to teach them to clean up urine or feces.
6. In regards to teaching responsibility....that's just hokey....there are MANY, MANY teachable moments throughout every single day where we have the opportunity to instill responsibility in children....cleaning up toys, putting away their art materials, USING THE TOILET and other self-care skills, putting away their dishes and cups after mealtime.....
I could go on, and on....but I won't, other than to say if I was the parent of said child, I would be LIVID and the provdider would undoubtedly know IMMEDIATELY. And, I wonder what other providers here would do if the sho was on the other foot....it is one thing for YOU to have your OWN child do it as your own values as a parent, but what if a provder as making your child do it? How would you HONESTLY feel about it then????
I especially like how you expressed #4.Comment
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Yes Yes Yes UPSET
I have owned a daycare for 25 years and never once would I have had a child clean up anything other than their toys. It's unsanitary and humiliating. I'm sorry this happened to your child and pray it doesn't happen again. Discuss it with your providers. Communication is always key...
Miss Dina (Schaefer)
Grandma Dinas Daycare
Yreka, Ca.
475405744
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I wouldn't make a child clean up after an accident. It is not unusual for a 3 year old to have an accident like that. It is just that, an accident. Maybe if the child was peeing or pooping their pants repeatedly and obviously on purpose, I would consider the child helping clean it up as a detterant but not for an isolated incident like that.
As for extra clothing, I work in a center and we do not have any extra clothing to change kids into if they do not have spares. It is in our handbook that all children are to have an extra outfit just in case. When I previously did childcare in my home, I also did not have extra clothing. My youngest is 11 years old so any small clothing left our house long ago.Comment
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Interesting. My middle daughter was speaking full sentences (in French) at 10 months, and fully bilingual by age 2. She didn't potty train quite that early but she certainly had the vocabulary to do so if she had chosen to try.
I also had one train just before age 2, mostly due to his competitive spirit with his brother (age 3.5) who was training.Comment
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