Just Turned 3 Cleaning Up Urine?

[Cat Herder]

Disagree about breakfast with you, it is the most important meal of the day. A 3 year old playing with her friends will choose to play instead of eat many times. Three year olds need guidance, she isn't mature enough to decide to keep playing instead of eating.

I think you are misunderstanding.

We LEGALLY cannot force a child to eat.

We may only OFFER the food, the child chooses to eat or not.

Meals are to be stress free.

[Heidi]

I'd like to clarify...when I said that I would have the child help clean up, it was more like...."you hold the paper towels"...not the child actually CLEANING the urine off the floor.

As for the breakfast thing, everyone sits at the table here at meal times, but I do not force anyone to eat. I might encourage them a little, but I don't beg, cojole, or force.

If they don't they wait for the next meal. I would not let a child continue playing while the others eat. This is not a buffet restaurant, come on over and eat if you feel like it...

The clothes thing, I still think it's not a deal breaker...I'd let that go.


I'm guessing that the man of the daycare there has a blunt communication style.

[daycarediva]

I am a licensed provider in NY.

I have kids help clean up EVERY mess they make. It is more along the lines of "Miss **** needs another paper towel. Oh, did we miss a spot?" etc. I had a dcb have an accident yesterday for the first time in months and he ran into the bathroom and gabbed the paper towels and was asking me to help HIM. Same goes for spills of food/drink and toys as well. I would want to know what EXACTLY they meant by she cleaned it up by herself.

All of the kids sit together at meal times. It IS up to the child if they will eat. I CANNOT force a child to eat. I can encourage, but I won't go beyond that.

[daycarediva]

I probably wouldn't have even called you to come early (?). I really don't think it warranted that. I would have called you if she didn't have pants to go home in.

I REQUIRE my parents to leave a change of clothes in a cubby. If a child doesn't have those clothes, it then falls on me. I have kids in sizes 12m-8/10 kids. I do NOT have spares in each of those sizes, in each appropriate seasonal item, etc. That, imo, is unrealistic to expect of a provider.

[daycarediva]

It happened at noon, they called my wives cell at work and left a voice mail which she didn't get until 3 (she's a nurse and very busy), they called me at 2 - I am disabled so I got grandma to pick her up when she woke up from the nap at 3. Normally she gets picked up after 4.

Disagree about breakfast with you, it is the most important meal of the day. A 3 year old playing with her friends will choose to play instead of eat many times. Three year olds need guidance, she isn't mature enough to decide to keep playing instead of eating.

I would have just made sure she had clothes to go home in. I fail to understand why she had to be picked up early.

Disagree or not, I cannot LEGALLY make a child eat, ever. I DO have all of the kids sit at the table together until we are finished with each meal time.

Here, missing breakfast isn't a HUGE deal as snack is right around the corner at 9:30 and consists of a fruit, grain and milk (same components as breakfast) so she would have just eaten MORE at snack.

[lovemykidstoo]

Yes, we just totally forgot extra pants today, since they have never been needed they were easy to forget. This happened at lunch, so they just put her down for her nap in underwear and coat.

Do they have a dryer in this daycare? I have had this happen and I have washed out the pants before and thrown them in the dryer so that in 30 minutes the child could have pants again. Sometimes for whatever reason there isn't a change of clothes there, you improvise.

[lovemykidstoo]

Just picked her up now (early). They told me that at 3 years old if they are old enough to say they need to go to the bathroom they are old enough to clean it up. They did make her clean herself and the floor.
Not sure she will be going back tomorrow!

Not sure? I would tell them to stick it for sure. That is just outrageous.

[daycarediva]

Do they have a dryer in this daycare? I have had this happen and I have washed out the pants before and thrown them in the dryer so that in 30 minutes the child could have pants again. Sometimes for whatever reason there isn't a change of clothes there, you improvise.

devil's advocate here- for santary reasons I can't clean out soiled clothing. According to licensing I have to double bag it and send it right home.

[dansmail26]

- On the breakfast thing, I totally agree with you all about not forcing them to eat, and I agree with you about sitting around the breakfast table. At this place if she doesn't want to eat he doesn't make her come to the table - that's my problem. She loves breakfast at home, including the same cereal they serve. If she was at the table they wouldn't have to force her to eat.

- They might have been calling just to bring pants to her, but we knew she wouldn't want to sit there all afternoon in her undies.

- They didn't offer to dry the pants, they just sent them home (without even being rinsed) in a plastic bag.

- No problem if they had her assist in the cleanup, but that didn't happen.

- If there was clothes she does dress herself all the time.


Please remember though, the clothes thing is a minor one to me. The lack of encouragement (not forcing her) to eat breakfast (even after asking them to encourage) bothers me, but this cleaning up her own urine really bugs me.

I am all for fostering independence in kids, but this guy seems to think 3 years olds should be as smart as he is! (maybe they are though, )

[youretooloud]

Disagree about breakfast with you, it is the most important meal of the day. A 3 year old playing with her friends will choose to play instead of eat many times. Three year olds need guidance, she isn't mature enough to decide to keep playing instead of eating.

We make the food. We put it in front of them. They eat it or don't eat it. That is not our problem. Our job is to prepare it, her job is to eat it.

[lovemykidstoo]

[QUOTE=dansmail26;277958]Two things - I'm not sure what you professionals would have done but they called and left a voice mail at noon, since they didn't get an answer they called the second number 2 hours later. Would you have waited that long?

Second thing is the lack of clothes to me wasn't a super problem since as soon as they eat they nap and she did have underwear. I was surprised they don't keep some emergency clothes there though for parents who do mess up and forget a second outfit as we did.[/QUOTE]

I do have to say about the item in bold that to expect a provider to have the appropriate sizes of extra clothing for each child can be a stretch. It is the parents responsibility and I totally understand how it can happen that you didn't have any in the bag. I have had this problem before and sometimes I will swap someone else's extra clothing, wash the soiled clothing and redress. I think that out of this whole situation, the actual pants is the least of the problem. The biggest problem in my eyes is the actual cleaning up of the urine.

[youretooloud]

Do they have a dryer in this daycare? I have had this happen and I have washed out the pants before and thrown them in the dryer so that in 30 minutes the child could have pants again. Sometimes for whatever reason there isn't a change of clothes there, you improvise.

Even if I rinsed them, I wouldn't put wet pee pants in my clean dryer. I wouldn't even re-dress her in them until they had been washed.

[lovemykidstoo]

Even if I rinsed them, I wouldn't put wet pee pants in my clean dryer. I wouldn't even re-dress her in them until they had been washed.

No not just rinsed "washed out". I have a quick wash on my washer and can seriously have 1 piece of clothing washed and dried in 30 minutes. A little pair of pants would take no time at all. Even if you hand washed them and then threw them in the dryer it's better than letting her run around in underwear in October.

[Cat Herder]

- At this place if she doesn't want to eat he doesn't make her come to the table - that's my problem.

:confused: OK, yeah, that is weird, IMHO.

Typically everyone lines up, washes hands and sits at the table politely waiting to be served. It is a loosely timed thing. After 30 minutes, here, if they have not eaten they are asked to get down from the table.

It is VERY rare and typically I'd know the reason why, have expected it and have a plan for a larger snack (antibiotics, constipation, sinus congestion, etc).

As for making her clean up urine, that is also unusual to me unless it is a recurrent/behavioral thing (I understand you said it was not in your case), IYKWIM? I have seen it in the older preschoolers who will occasionally use toileting as a control method (Example: a 4yo boy who would urinate across the wall to see it run in lines down to the floor ).

As part of their Discipline Plan (agreed to by parents) they are being taught self-help skills and would be given gloves, mop and a bucket. It would not be done in front of other kids, typically one provider stays inside while the other takes the rest of the kids outdoors.

Personally, I'd just have laundered the pants, but I have that ability. My State has no regulation against it. Each State is different.

[dansmail26]

Yes, I agree with most everything that has been written here. You can't make them eat, but you can make them come to the table. He just accepts the answer of no thanks. Sometimes I wonder if he is just happy he doesn't have to supply food when they say no.
He also complains she eats too slow so he doesn't give her as much as the others at lunch....
Obviously he talks too much or we wouldn't know all this.
She's staying home tomorrow and we are having a short conversation with him saying it's because we are mad about what happened with the accident and deciding what to do. When we calm down we will make a decision as to what to do with her next week.
Thanks for the advice and sharing your experiences.