Just Turned 3 Cleaning Up Urine?

[dansmail26]

He said she could have went, but I have doubts as he is always complaining she eats too slow.

Does anyone know did he break any daycare codes in NY doing this? Otherwise we owe him a 2 weeks notice to quit which I really don't want to pay.

[Willow]

I'd be asking your child about the circumstances surrounding this accident as well. I'm sure I'm reading too much into it, but what came to mind after reading your posts was that this "strict" provider may have made her wait to go to the restroom until after lunch and she couldn't hold it.

This is where my mind went too.......



OP - you can call up your local licensing department and ask if there were any violations with how this was handled. Go online, look up your county human services and daycare licensing should have a number listed.

Doesn't hurt to inquire just to make sure.


If I were you I'd pull her immediately and if they demand payment for the two weeks I'd tell them to take me to court. There is no way a judge will enforce such a policy if there were valid reasons concerning her care and safety.

If you wait however and pull her at a later date you will not be able to use this incident as an excuse later on. Bring her back for even a day and they'll be able to use that as an argument that you were ok with what they did....because who would bring their child back if had concerns over actual maltreatment?

[dansmail26]

NY regulations

I found a NY regulation which he definitely violated-

416.9(h) Methods of discipline,
interaction or toilet training which
frighten, demean or humiliate a child
are prohibited.

[Blackcat31]

I found a NY regulation which he definitely violated-

416.9(h) Methods of discipline,
interaction or toilet training which
frighten, demean or humiliate a child
are prohibited.

I agree with other providers that said they would not have made a child clean up urine, HOWEVER, cleaning up after ones self is neither demeaning, frightening or humiliated. IMHO.

It really isn't any different than helping clean up any other mess they made.

As a child care provider, I would NEVER make a child clean up the urine. I would have them take off their soiled clothing and redress on their own though.

As a parent, I would maybe have my own child help clean up their own urine but that is as a parent. Whole different ball game.

But I still don't think having a child clean up urine breaks the above rule.

I think Willow gave some good advice. Pull her immediately and do not return. File a complaint with your licensing agency.

[itlw8]

wait today at lunch she had an accident and had no clothes they dressed her in what she had and called you ( so you could bring some clothes. They put her down for a nap and you waited until 2:30 to pick her up even though you knew she had no clothes in her bag?

Well that one is against you.

cleaning up the mess... not happy about that one but not being there not sure of what happened.

and the she skipped breakfast.. well they are right if she does not want to eat they can not force her to do so.That id a big no no. We serve the food the child decides if they will eat it.

but you do not trust them so give notice and find other care for tomorrow.

[itlw8]

. If no clothes were available they could have called you to come get her.

sounds like they did mom posted at 1:30 and picked up at 2:30 so they did call when it happened

[clep]

I found a NY regulation which he definitely violated-

416.9(h) Methods of discipline,
interaction or toilet training which
frighten, demean or humiliate a child
are prohibited.

While I agree it was not okay for your child to clean up her own urine, I do not see how it was frightening, demeaning or humiliating.

I agree that if there wasn't an issue with the child in the past, I would wonder about uti or something else first. I would call you to bring your child clothes and would let you know not to forget again. I would also have the child hand me the needed items to be able to take the opportunity to learn how to clean something up.

If it was my child, I would terminate on the spot but would leave payment with the provider if it was prepaid already. I would not ask for payment back as the chances of me getting it are slim to none without court action.

Also what does the contract you signed say? If the contract did not address this issue, I would send an email letting the provider know I was terminating care immediately in hopes of her sending something back in the form of an admission of some kind. At least then if court is required you have a leg to stand on as well as for licencing.

I would also call licencing immediately and let them know the issue. They will take care of it from there.

[Willow]

But I still don't think having a child clean up urine breaks the above rule.

I agree.


I'd call and ask about a child specifically being required to clean up their own urine or feces by a provider. I can't imagine that would be considered sanitary or age appropriate.

[Blackcat31]

sounds like they did mom posted at 1:30 and picked up at 2:30 so they did call when it happened

I would assume OP picked up and then drove home before posting an update. Unless she is a die-hard and posted from her phone while driving home.

[itlw8]

but either way if she knew they had to have called when it happened to let her know there were no clothes not saying Mom was wrong just they did notify her when it happened.

[dansmail26]

wait today at lunch she had an accident and had no clothes they dressed her in what she had and called you ( so you could bring some clothes. They put her down for a nap and you waited until 2:30 to pick her up even though you knew she had no clothes in her bag?

Well that one is against you.

cleaning up the mess... not happy about that one but not being there not sure of what happened.

and the she skipped breakfast.. well they are right if she does not want to eat they can not force her to do so.That id a big no no. We serve the food the child decides if they will eat it.

but you do not trust them so give notice and find other care for tomorrow.

It happened at noon, they called my wives cell at work and left a voice mail which she didn't get until 3 (she's a nurse and very busy), they called me at 2 - I am disabled so I got grandma to pick her up when she woke up from the nap at 3. Normally she gets picked up after 4.

Disagree about breakfast with you, it is the most important meal of the day. A 3 year old playing with her friends will choose to play instead of eat many times. Three year olds need guidance, she isn't mature enough to decide to keep playing instead of eating.

[dansmail26]

While I agree it was not okay for your child to clean up her own urine, I do not see how it was frightening, demeaning or humiliating.

......

Most people I talked to disagree with you on this one. I did talk to someone on the state hotline who actually led me to this regulation who thought it fit perfectly.

[dansmail26]

but either way if she knew they had to have called when it happened to let her know there were no clothes not saying Mom was wrong just they did notify her when it happened.

Two things - I'm not sure what you professionals would have done but they called and left a voice mail at noon, since they didn't get an answer they called the second number 2 hours later. Would you have waited that long?

Second thing is the lack of clothes to me wasn't a super problem since as soon as they eat they nap and she did have underwear. I was surprised they don't keep some emergency clothes there though for parents who do mess up and forget a second outfit as we did.

[youretooloud]

Holy Cow.. I try not to even look mad (even when I am) for potty accidents. (unless it's just a constant issue) I DO make them change their own clothes though. At age three, I expect them to dress themselves. I throw a towel on the floor and wipe it up, hand them a bag for the wet clothes, and their dry clothes, and they change themselves. If it's all backwards and inside out, i'm fine with that.

Then while they are changing their clothes, I go clean up the mess. No more discussion of it at all...when it's over, it's over.


I don't have the parents bring extra clothes very often. I tend to lose them. So, I just mark all my extras with my name and send them home like that.

I don't have a problem with a three year old in skivvies all day though.... these kids are in undies or diapers very often. But, if it was chilly out, I can't see making him or her be cold.

[dansmail26]

wait today at lunch she had an accident and had no clothes they dressed her in what she had and called you ( so you could bring some clothes. They put her down for a nap and you waited until 2:30 to pick her up even though you knew she had no clothes in her bag?

Well that one is against you.

cleaning up the mess... not happy about that one but not being there not sure of what happened.

and the she skipped breakfast.. well they are right if she does not want to eat they can not force her to do so.That id a big no no. We serve the food the child decides if they will eat it.

but you do not trust them so give notice and find other care for tomorrow.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow View Post
. If no clothes were available they could have called you to come get her.
sounds like they did mom posted at 1:30 and picked up at 2:30 so they did call when it happened

Since I am getting some blame, here's the timeline -
It happened around noon
They called mom at work and left voice mail
They called me at 2 est since they didn't get response from mom
I arranged ride as soon as her nap would be over (3 est)
I started researching if this was 'normal' actions.
My first post was at 2:30 est!

Yes, we did forget the extra clothes today!!!