Need advice please - re: daycare switch?

[Mazzy]

Hi - my son, Luke, is almost 9 months. He's been in a daycare center since 2 months. From about 2 months until 5 months, he had every virus possible. Sick constantly - very stressful. I thought at the time that if I could find a home daycare, I'd reduce his chances of all of us getting sick, especially if all the children were less than school age. But, no one had any openings at the time.

Also, he has 4 different carers at the center. And that was after 1 of them left. Soon, he will be moving into the "waddlers" room because he's crawling, which means all of his providers will be changing again. At the present time, I like 2 of the carers, but not the other 2. The other 2 get stressed out very easily and I am not pleased with their reactions to crying babies, etc. Not to mention, they will listen to heavy metal and rap music on their shift (despite the fact that these are infants).

Well, I just got a call over the weekend that there was an opening at a home daycare in my town. The cost is less and payment more convenient, although it's a little further away. The home is gorgeous (brand new). The provider has 23 years of experience, takes care of 6 kids, with help from her mother and husband who are both licensed backups. Of the 6 kids, only 2 of them are under 2. The rest are 4, 3.5, 2.5, and 2.

Not sure if it makes sense to switch...my main concern is the quality of attention for my son's age. Because of the older children, this provider has activities planned for the older kids. Not to mention, it's very difficult to give an infant one-on-one attention when older kids have so much energy and demand more attention.

What should I do? My husband and I are both on the fence about it. He says that because it's not jumping out at us, that we should stay where we are for Luke's sake. But, I'm not sure he's happy there. Every night of the week he is wound up and I have to get him to settle, and I wonder if it's because of the constant ins and outs of the people at the center (just general activity) or because of the 2 girls that seem to get really stressed (as he seems worse after their shifts). I wish I could make a true decision rather than just staying where I am because I can't make ANY decision.

Home Daycare vs. Daycare Center

-new home environment -school-like environment
-Costs $800/mo -costs $920/mo
-Payment can be made monthly -payment can only be made per week
(we prefer monthly)
-same town, but 5 minutes further -closer to highway, pediatrician, and grandma
-provider has a large parrot -no animals
-6 children, mostly older -all children of same age/development in same room
-less sickness? (what about bird?) -constantly getting sick
-a single provider for attachment -several providers in and out, moving to new room
-brings all kids outside and on hikes -never goes outside currently
-provider seems "hyper" -providers vary in temperament, some very calm

Not sure what else...any ideas?

[SilverSabre25]

Well, just take a look at your list of pros and cons...it seems clear to me! I would absolutely move him to the home daycare. He'll definitely get more attention, more love, more individualized care, more of everything he needs from the home child care.

Among other things that jump out at me as serious issues with the daycare center he's at--he shouldn't be hearing that kind of music, he shouldn't have so many different carers, he SHOULD get to go outside.

It's not as difficult as you may think to give an infant lovin' and attention while also caring for older children--parents have managed it for centuries . Your son is 9 months old and crawling--the hands-on stuff is diminishing, believe it or not. He's going to be best served by being on the floor surrounded by awesome toys, with bigger kids playing nearby to watch and learn from. When he needs snuggles and loves, the provider is almost certain more than happy to occupy her arms with snuggles--much more so than in a center.

I think you know what the best decision is, but are afraid to make that jump. Listen to your son's signals--he shouldn't be stressed and upset after a day at daycare. He will almost certainly be happier at the home childcare and I think you will ultimately be happier with it as well.

[Breezy]

Welcome to the forum!!!

I agree with everything Silver said and also wanted to ad that he may be distressed and wound up after being there because of the stimulation of all the other children. The crying or the hustle and bustle. I recently read an ebook written by a woman who worked in a center (I think a lot of us here read it- what was it? Doing Time: What it Means to Grow up in a Daycare Center?)

Basically the author said that the kids would just get so wound up with everything going on and if they were having an off day, they had nowhere to go just have quiet time because there was just sso much going on.

For me, my babies stay super close to me all day and play on the floor next to me when I am playing with older children. I honestly think the babies probably get more one on one with me than anyone else because everyone else can walk or talk to eachother and are busy playing.

And yes as Silver said he SHOULD be going outside every day!!!

[cheerfuldom]

I would go with the home daycare, no doubt about it. From a providers perspective, I personally think a mixed age is WAYYYY easier to care for then all the kids being infants.

Maybe you havent been around many older kids but your average 3 and 4 year old does not need to be diapered, bottle or spoon feed, or carried at all. Many 2 year olds do not need that type of hands on care either. Your child will really be the only baby in care and that is to his advantage! He will get more attention and more physical care than at the center and with the smaller number of kids and caregivers, he will be less overstimulated than at the daycare. Plus outside time! I would never, ever send my baby anywhere where they did not get some outdoor time. He is missing out on important learning and exploring times by being cooped up in the same room (with inappropriate music playing, yikes!). The lack of ventilation and access to fresh air is certainly making the illness issue worse at the daycare. I have had several infants here that have been sick at the most, 2 times for the first year of life. It is very rare for my babies to get sick. They have their own baby toys to play with that none of the other kids even use because i only take one baby at a time. Less contamination of germs!

You have a chance to go with someone that has DECADES of experience....I would bet almost all of the workers at your current daycare are young girls that are not parents, with little to no experience, paid a low wage for a lot of work and this results in a huge turnover.....not good for your baby at all!

[lil angels]

I have worked center and home daycare. I have a
Ways said if I had a baby I would never put them in a center until at least the age of 3. I have two boys now and I went to home over center because I felt they didn't get any attention in the center vs at home. Just my opinion and not going outside would not fly well with me either. They need it just as much as the provider needs it. Good luck I think you now what your answere is.

[Mazzy]

Need advice please - re: daycare switch?

WOW! You guys are awesome! I didn't know if I would get a lot of responses, but I did. I really appreciate your feedback and will have a conversation with my husband tonight about it.

[itlw8]

When a family adds a new baby is it neglected for the older children?

Are the older children neglected because of the new addition to the family?

I plan activites for the older children but you will find that crawler on a mat at my feet exploring his world. the older kids come over and say hi to baby and maybe play peek a boo before going off to play.Mixed age groups are WONDERFUL for all children . They learn so much from the older children and as older children practice what they know by teaching the younger children.

Children from a quality family childcare are secure, self sufficient and usually in the top group of their class when the head off to kindergarten.

Quality is the key though

[itlw8]

most states require children go outdoors 1 hour a days unless above 95 or under 30 degrees.

I had to laugh at the hyper part. Yes I bet people think I am. You need to be in this business.We are messy here also. We paint weekly explore bugs and the outdoors. We have all sorts of fun learning .

[winecountrydaycaregal]

to move or not to move

Hi, I am a small family child care provider and i take care of mixed ages. I actually think your son would get more attention with mixed ages because older kids seem more self sufficient. Plus, he will be a big kid before you know it, it happens so fast and more kids will come in that are closer to his age.
I laughed at the hyper part too. I am pretty high energy.
As far as sickness, i have found that some kids just get sick more than others, even in my small setting.
The kids should get outside every day, no exceptions except rain!
good luck.
Debbie

[Heidi]

I have been a family provider for many years, as well as being a mom of 4 (and now a grandma of 4!). I have also spent quite a bit of time in various centers.

I think there are some very good centers out there, and there are some good home providers and some not so good. The other ladies here all pointed out the good, and I agree with them.

The only disadvantage of a family provider that I can think of is the isolation. Being completely alone with children 50+ hours a week can be difficult. It sounds like this provider has this handled by involving her mother and husband. For those of us that don't have that option...we come here!

I honestly think this sounds like it could be a very positive change for your son. It sounds like it's somewhere he could settle in until he starts school. You know she does lots of activities already, so, no need to worry about "preschool" later!

Do your homework, check references, check your state database for violations (if your state has one), and read that policy manual. If after that, you still feel good about the provider...go for it!

Good luck to you and your little man...

[Mazzy]

Actually, I did check the database for violations...and she had 1 violation that was rectified. I didn't really understand what it meant. It was "physical plant." What does that mean?

Also, she said during the interview that out of 23 years of doing the daycare, she's had only 5 perfect inspections (out of probably 10-15). All the other inspections had some minor issue like an outlet cover missing or something to that affect. (The outlet she was talking about was above a sink). Should I be concerned about that? Especially since my son is very mobile and loves cords but obviously can't reach above a sink...

[nanglgrl]

Actually, I did check the database for violations...and she had 1 violation that was rectified. I didn't really understand what it meant. It was "physical plant." What does that mean?

Also, she said during the interview that out of 23 years of doing the daycare, she's had only 5 perfect inspections (out of probably 10-15). All the other inspections had some minor issue like an outlet cover missing or something to that affect. (The outlet she was talking about was above a sink). Should I be concerned about that? Especially since my son is very mobile and loves cords but obviously can't reach above a sink...

Physical Plant? I've never heard of that...maybe call licensing or the provider and ask. As for inspections I had a friend fail because she had an empty pill bottle sitting on her counter. It was for her daughters medication and she had it sitting by the phone so she would remember to call in a refill. We have a lot of goofy little things that can make us fail an inspection and one minor infraction in 23 years that has been rectified is nothing, I bet if you were to check the center you would find that they have had more infractions.

[youretooloud]

That is actually a tough decision. The proximity is a big deal to some people. It really can make or break a good setting for parents if the daycare is harder to get to.

Daycare centers typically have a higher teacher turnover rate. It's not unreasonable to see three or four teachers leave in one year. It's one of the drawbacks of center life. But, if you see a REALLY high teacher turnover rate, or the teachers do not seem happy there, it could be that the teachers are not being treated very well at that center. A happy teacher is a happy class.

[Snapdragon]

Actually, I did check the database for violations...and she had 1 violation that was rectified. I didn't really understand what it meant. It was "physical plant." What does that mean?

Also, she said during the interview that out of 23 years of doing the daycare, she's had only 5 perfect inspections (out of probably 10-15). All the other inspections had some minor issue like an outlet cover missing or something to that affect. (The outlet she was talking about was above a sink). Should I be concerned about that? Especially since my son is very mobile and loves cords but obviously can't reach above a sink...

Physical plant is usually related to the building (including outdoor playground) -- the facility in general. It could be the state of the building (i.e. peeling paint) to safety issues (building exits, fire protection, etc.).

[crazydaycarelady]

I also would go with the home daycare for no other reason than having someone with 23 years experience is so valuable compared to most centers have young girls for caregivers. But there are so many more reasons also:

Benefits of Home Child care
What are the benefits of choosing in-home care? A family childcare provider continues the parent's role of caregiver, nurturer, comforter, and first teacher. The provider is not just a babysitter. She plans meals, schedules, and safety. She organizes the children's activities. She will appreciate your family values and child rearing practices. She is a professional and you can rely on her judgment. Working together as a team, you will provide the best for your child. The provider is not a substitute for you. You are the most important person in your child's life and the provider respects that.

Here are just a few of the advantages of home care:
1) Child Care Homes are required to have a lower child/adult ratio than centers so your child receives more individual attention.
2) There is more flexibility than in a center.
3) There is less illness because there are fewer people in and out, which means fewer germs are spread to your child.
4) Your child is cared for and taught by a trained childcare professional that is usually a mother as well.
5) Children have the opportunity to play and learn with other children in a much smaller group than in a center.
6) Many children cannot handle the noise level and increased stimulation of a daycare center and do better in a smaller setting.
7) Children are not grouped by age and have the opportunity to spend time with other children of all ages.
8) Your child has the same caregiver all day, everyday. That means one person who knows exactly what your child has done, eaten, etc. throughout the day.
9) Centers tend to have high employee turnover rates.
10) It is possible for your child to remain with the same provider from infancy up to school age