2 Hour Naps @ Daycare?

[Heidi]

This discussion is getting so old, it should be dead by now.

As daycare providers providing care for a group of children, we need to do what's best for the group of children, and we need to provide cost-effective care for parents.

Part of the way we do that is most of us require an afternoon quiet time. If we didn't, we'd need to provide another staff member just for awake children. Most parents aren't willing or able to pay for that staff member.

If one child is awake, what are the chances that he or she will be quiet enough to allow the other children to sleep? Having two children at home is a very different thing than having 7-10 in a daycare setting. Have you ever been to a child's birthday party? That is what childcare is like...a birthday party for 1-5 year olds EVERY DAY. Oh...and all the parents left the hostess in charge.

Seems to me that I wouldn't go to my husband's car dealership and tell him he's selling cars wrong, or go to my local hospital and tell the nurses how to do their jobs. I don't DO their jobs, so I simply don't have the experience to say "this is how it should be done". Even center people and family childcare people differ in their approaches because of staffing and space.

I've never known a customer service based business person to say "I'm going to do whatever I want...screw the customers". That's NOT our motivation. It's ridiculous. We do what works and follow our regulations. Sometimes, we can't please everyone.

You woudn't go to your bank drive thru and get mad because they can't give you 20 rolls of coin through the drive up tube (I hope). They can't do it, they won't do it. It's unlikely you'd find another bank that will. There's a reason...it DOESN"T work!

[Play Care]

This discussion is getting so old, it should be dead by now.

As daycare providers providing care for a group of children, we need to do what's best for the group of children, and we need to provide cost-effective care for parents.

Part of the way we do that is most of us require an afternoon quiet time. If we didn't, we'd need to provide another staff member just for awake children. Most parents aren't willing or able to pay for that staff member.

If one child is awake, what are the chances that he or she will be quiet enough to allow the other children to sleep? Having two children at home is a very different thing than having 7-10 in a daycare setting. Have you ever been to a child's birthday party? That is what childcare is like...a birthday party for 1-5 year olds EVERY DAY. Oh...and all the parents left the hostess in charge.

Seems to me that I wouldn't go to my husband's car dealership and tell him he's selling cars wrong, or go to my local hospital and tell the nurses how to do their jobs. I don't DO their jobs, so I simply don't have the experience to say "this is how it should be done". Even center people and family childcare people differ in their approaches because of staffing and space.

I've never known a customer service based business person to say "I'm going to do whatever I want...screw the customers". That's NOT our motivation. It's ridiculous. We do what works and follow our regulations. Sometimes, we can't please everyone.

You woudn't go to your bank drive thru and get mad because they can't give you 20 rolls of coin through the drive up tube (I hope). They can't do it, they won't do it. It's unlikely you'd find another bank that will. There's a reason...it DOESN"T work!

happyfacehappyfacehappyface

[Thriftylady]

oops quoted wrong reposting!

[Thriftylady]

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I pay the daycare to watch my child. I am therefore their employer, they are my employee, you would expect they would work with me on this. Yes I can 'fire' them. The thought has crossed my mind; but all of this is a recent development, so it is a definite consideration (though a huge hassel to move them elsewhere...finding spots for 2 at once is never easy).

Not until you start paying my taxes, my unemployment insurance, my medical insurance as required by federal law and all the other things required by law that you pay as an employer. I run my own business, I work with myself and you you made this statement to me, I wouldn't work with you at all you would be looking for a new provider the same day you said it. Your "hassle" to move them elsewhere wouldn't matter to me a bit at that point.

[Unregistered]

Kids very rarely behave exactly the same at home as they do for others. So, the same stands to reason for sleep too. Your kid probably doesn't WANT to sleep (what kid actually does? They'll miss out on everything, of course!) but at daycare, there is a routine and rules to abide by and most kids will follow the rules, no problem. You can set the same rules at home, but if you do not follow-through the same way, the child probably is going to test you a lot more than they will their dcp. Maybe YOU have to step up and tell her it's time for the dolls to be put away and lay her down like the provider does at nap. Chances are, though, that if you haven't had this routine down the WHOLE time, you'll have a heck of a fight on your hands for at least 2 weeks (That's if you stick with it). My DCK's used to sleep from 12p-2p (usually got up around 1:30 though but the baby would sleep til 2). They ALSO went to bed on time. Why? Because the parents I had enforced their bed time with their kids. They had rituals. Dinner, bath, teeth brushed, bedtime. Every night was the same unless unforseen circumstances arose (rarely). The kids knew what was expected of them and it wasn't a problem. It's only a problem if you make it one and if you do not enforce the rules in your house. And if you did, your child would NOT be up PLAYING at 9:30 at night. Even if they are not "tired" why would you let them do something stimulating when you want them to sleep??

Reading comments like this on the internet while dealing with a lack of napping with my toddler made me think he just had to nap...and it made my son miserable. I spent 2 hours a day coaxing my 18 month old down for a nap, then again the same thing at bedtime. We've always had a steady routine, etc. When I eventually decided maybe he doesn't need the sleep everyone else seems to need, and just let nap time go, he was instantly in a much better mood. Life was better for all of us.
Few people I encounter have kids with as little nap needs as my kids, so I see why it's hard to understand - some kids just don't need much sleep.

Kids have different needs, and the best child care will adapt for the children that they have in their care.

[Rockgirl]

Reading comments like this on the internet while dealing with a lack of napping with my toddler made me think he just had to nap...and it made my son miserable. I spent 2 hours a day coaxing my 18 month old down for a nap, then again the same thing at bedtime. We've always had a steady routine, etc. When I eventually decided maybe he doesn't need the sleep everyone else seems to need, and just let nap time go, he was instantly in a much better mood. Life was better for all of us.
Few people I encounter have kids with as little nap needs as my kids, so I see why it's hard to understand - some kids just don't need much sleep.

Kids have different needs, and the best child care will adapt for the children that they have in their care.

True--kids do have different needs. You, as the parent, have the responsibility to find a childcare program that meets the needs of your child.

ETA: In my state, rest time is mandatory for a minimum of one hour for all children not yet enrolled in school. It's not an option to just not lay down a 2 yr old at all.

[Blackcat31]

Kids have different needs, and the best child care will adapt for the children that they have in their care.

Sorry but you are putting the cart before the horse.

YOU need to find a child care that fits your needs as child care programs can't adapt to ONE child's needs so GROUP needs outweigh INDIVIDUAL needs.

If your child can't adapt to the group/program's routine or requirements then you need to find other care arrangements.


fwiw~ my own kid stopped napping at 15 months and slept about 6 hours a night total. Still that way today, 25 yrs later. I am similar and require little sleep to function so I completely understand what you are saying I just don't agree with the thought that child care's need to adapt to individual children's needs when it comes to certain things.

[happymom]

My kid requires a lot less sleep to function than most. He's 4.5y and in center daycare. They do 2 hour naps, it takes him an hour, sometimes longer to fall asleep, many times he does not nap at all, but he must rest on his mat. They will give him a quiet activity if he has not fallen asleep by a certain point. Thankfully my daycare does not have a policy against non-nappers (as they take school aged), but they will not allow him to be disruptive. I have had notes sent home that he was disruptive at nap time and we do our best to address that behavior.

He has a very difficult time at bed time 8pm, also. Many times he is not actually asleep until 10pm. He lays in his bed and his mind races. We have tried everything to help keep his mind at ease, but he is a worrier and will also do things to ensure he stays awake; play with his sheets, rub his eyes, etc.

I agree with whoever said that kids are different and they sleep different, just like adults. Just because your kids are in bed by x time and sleep through the night does not make you a better parent. There are plenty of great parents who have difficult sleepers.

[Unregistered]

In response

I'm sorry, but, as a parent, I do know there us a direct correlation between nap times at 4+ and bed times. My daughter does not nap at home and goes to bed easily by 9pm at the latest. All week we struggle to get her to bed by 10:30. Common link, 2-3 hour nap. If a child is placed on a mat in the a quiet place with soft music and so are all the others kids, of course that are going to sleep. Monkey see monkey do with a group of kids. I see no reason why there can't be a dedicated room for the older kids to have quiet time activities.
I'm sorry, but this is forced behavior and can be modified easily. We do it at home with no issues.
As for jumping all over the guy for dtopping in at nap time, get over it. It's his right to check in at any time. He pays to be there and that's his right as a parent whether it upsets your staff or not.

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry, but, as a parent, I do know there us a direct correlation between nap times at 4+ and bed times. My daughter does not nap at home and goes to bed easily by 9pm at the latest. All week we struggle to get her to bed by 10:30. Common link, 2-3 hour nap. If a child is placed on a mat in the a quiet place with soft music and so are all the others kids, of course that are going to sleep. Monkey see monkey do with a group of kids. I see no reason why there can't be a dedicated room for the older kids to have quiet time activities.
I'm sorry, but this is forced behavior and can be modified easily. We do it at home with no issues.
As for jumping all over the guy for dtopping in at nap time, get over it. It's his right to check in at any time. He pays to be there and that's his right as a parent whether it upsets your staff or not.

Who supervises the children while they are in separate/different rooms?

What you do at home with no issue has NO bearing on what providers do with a group of children that are usually a mixed age group too...that's comparing apples to oranges.

As for stopping in at nap time, sure....he ABSOLUTELY has that right. But I also have the right to terminate a parent that disrespectfully puts their needs/wants ahead of the GROUP of children's needs. This dad is MORE than welcome to stop by, but he needs take his child with him when he leaves.

Assuming that payment equates to being in charge is the silliest notion I have ever heard of. Just because you pay does NOT give you the right to dictate how someone runs their business. He pays for his CHILD to be there. He does NOT pay to be there himself.

The amount of unhealthy, untrue and ridiculous information posted in this thread by parents is laughable but sad at the same time.

Instead of trying to dictate how a group providers manages her daily routine, your time would be more effective if you focused on managing your issues with sleep and naps. If your child is getting 2-3 hours of nap and it's causing issues for you, why would you leave your child in a program that isn't suited for her?

As a parent that is your duty and obligation.

[daycarediva]

Who supervises the children while they are in separate/different rooms?

What you do at home with no issue has NO bearing on what providers do with a group of children that are usually a mixed age group too...that's comparing apples to oranges.

As for stopping in at nap time, sure....he ABSOLUTELY has that right. But I also have the right to terminate a parent that disrespectfully puts their needs/wants ahead of the GROUP of children's needs. This dad is MORE than welcome to stop by, but he needs take his child with him when he leaves.

Assuming that payment equates to being in charge is the silliest notion I have ever heard of. Just because you pay does NOT give you the right to dictate how someone runs their business. He pays for his CHILD to be there. He does NOT pay to be there himself.

The amount of unhealthy, untrue and ridiculous information posted in this thread by parents is laughable but sad at the same time.

Instead of trying to dictate how a group providers manages her daily routine, your time would be more effective if you focused on managing your issues with sleep and naps. If your child is getting 2-3 hours of nap and it's causing issues for you, why would you leave your child in a program that isn't suited for her?

As a parent that is your duty and obligation.

I have children who do not nap, they do lie quietly with books while their friends rest. They are on the same routine as the other children. I CANNOT force a child who is NOT tired to sleep.

On days off/weekends, do you get your child up early/same time? I highly doubt it. These kids CANNOT be awake from 6am-9:30pm, which is exactly why the state stepped in and MANDATED rest times for ALL children enrolled in a full day program.

[Kayschildcare]

As a registered provider, it is mandated that a minimum 2 hour rest period be allowed for children under age 5. I also prohibit drop ins during the nap period as it disrupts the other children. If a child needs to leave early, the parent texts me and I quietly remove them from the nap room and meet the parent at the door with the child. I don't require age 5 and up to nap, but they must have a quiet period during this time as to not disrupt the others. As a group care environment, we cannot make individual accommodations, so please don't request that when you already knew the routine of the program before enrollment. We are not your employee, and our program won't be modified to your requests. You pay tuition to attend our program...just as you pay a dance instructor for your child's dance lessons...you are paying for a service, not my employment. I will be employed regardless of your child's enrollment. Perhaps a nanny you could employ would be a better fit for the OP?

This!

[Unregistered]

Selfish parents

Who's selfish? Providers don't need breaks from wiping butts, noses, chasing a bunch of kids around?? Is that the regard You have for those who take care of your most precious possesion? My parents bring me flowers and wine! Do you think that your child can't be replaced that same day that you leave for another provider? You obviously just want to put your kids to bed so you can have me time. Just like the parents who don't want their kids to have any screen time during the 9+hrs at daycare so that they can park them in front of a screen at home. You made the decision to breed, did you not consider the sacrifices.

[Unregistered]

Totally agree

My 6 year old should not be required to take a 2-3 hour nap. She does not nap in school. if you lay her down with nothing to do for hours then of course she will fall asleep. If she does take a 2-3 hour nap then she won't go to bed at night. I was told that she could look at books while the others napped, but then they made her lay down for nap anyway. Not happy.

As a parent and (not as a provider whose job is made easier by long, extended naps), I totally agree with you- especially for a 6 year old! I only have my kids in daycare two days a week (ages 9 months and 2). They go to bed any day I have them easily and on schedule. On days they go to daycare, they are not even tired and I can not get them to sleep until at least 2 hours after their scheduled bedtime. I will be asking the daycare to log their naps for the next month so I can troubleshoot this issue. I hope the daycare will honestly log the naps, as my suspicion is that they are sleeping way over their usual 2 hours.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

As a parent and (not as a provider whose job is made easier by long, extended naps), I totally agree with you- especially for a 6 year old! I only have my kids in daycare two days a week (ages 9 months and 2). They go to bed any day I have them easily and on schedule. On days they go to daycare, they are not even tired and I can not get them to sleep until at least 2 hours after their scheduled bedtime. I will be asking the daycare to log their naps for the next month so I can troubleshoot this issue. I hope the daycare will honestly log the naps, as my suspicion is that they are sleeping way over their usual 2 hours.

Your nine month old only sleeps two hours when with you? I could see that for a 2 year old, although most of my twos take a solid three he nap, but an infant needs sleep, just as much as they need food. I imagine they go to bed easily bc they got to spend the day with mom with very little naps and are exhausted. The days they are at daycare, they miss you and come home well rested and ready to spend time with you, so instead of putting them to bed at 7 on those nights, go for a long walk, play at the park, cuddle and read books and lay them down later, like 9, after a warm bath. If your daycare is anything like most, your infant prob still gets a morning and afternoon nap and your toddler prob has rest time from 12-3 or similar hrs. I can totally understand not having a 6 year old nap, unless they are tired, but 9 mos and 2 yrs would be required to nap as they need it for healthy growth and development and are usually VERY tired after playing all morning. Maybe speak with your provider and see what their schedule is during the day so you can adjust your routine at home to accommodate it. If your kids are not used to napping and are only two days a week, I imagine your provider is in a tough spot trying to maintain consistency, so I would be delicate about how you approach it or you may end up finding a new daycare, and like I said, napping is pretty much non negotiable for those young ages in most daycares, so you may be searching for something that is hard to find. Good luck to you!