iPhone for a 4 Year Old?

[Lil_Angels]

interesting dilemma. I'm going to say see what can be done to turn it down. It won't do your child much good. I'm actually surprised that would be offered over an iPad (which too is overkill)

I like all the memory making activity suggestions.

[Unregistered]

Waaay back in 2005 we set my daughter up with a simple cell phone as she entered her freshman year of college because there were no longer landline phones available in the dorms, and we did want to visit with her on the telephone on occasion.
In SEVEN years things have changed so much that anyone even considers giving a 4 year old ANY type of a phone?! Old fogy that I am - i don't get it at all. In my daycare, the 4 year olds like to play phone by putting blocks, etc. to their ears and carrying on really creative conversations. Let your child PLAY.

[Candyland]

So, what did you decide to do??

[boysx5]

Took me 45 years to get an iphone. Why do we rush our kids to grow up let them be kids. JMO

[cheerfuldom]

I like the comment about considering the ultimate goal for your child's upbringing.

One of my goals is for my kids to live a modest life of moderation. I feel that keeps them humble and well balanced. I dont promote anything that is not towards that ultimate goal. We do not take lavish trips, have over the top parties, buy expensive gifts. It is very rare that my children have anything brand new.....most is second hand, hand me downs, sales or clearance items, yard sale items, etc. I think it is important for them to learn to live without and learn to life frugally, even though they are young and there are times that we can afford more.

With this in mind, I personally would never allow a family member to purchase any of the pricey items your daughter has received, nor would we take any of the trips you all have taken. My kids are 4 and younger and own no electronics although we do have a DVDs and such that belong to the family.

I dont think you should do things just because you can. You worked hard and scratched your way to success, the best thing you can do for your daughter is to guide her towards the same work ethic and not just give her things because you are better able too than maybe your parents were when you were younger.

For example, my 4 year old wanted a Rapunzel doll for about 6 months. I purposefully did not get it for her for awhile because I wanted her to know the feeling of wanting and waiting for something. She earned her doll with patience and good behavior.

[Unregistered]

Wow, a lot of replies! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post.

I'll try to answer everything in one post!

My daughter has a college fund already set up. For the three years we took vacations - we had our extended family donate to her college fund instead of purchasing gifts. This worked out wonderful because my daughter will not have the doll she received at her 1st of 2nd birthday - but she will always be grateful and have the monetary means to afford college. She may or may not attend after high school - I personally know that college is not for everyone. But, she can use the money towards a home or a car when she graduates high school.

She is in gymnastics class once a week and ballet once a week. For now, I feel that is more than enough extra-curricular activities for her. We attend a music class, a dramatic play zone and swimming activities within my daycare so she gets to participate in a lot of programs. We also purchase zoo/aquarium memberships for each daycare child so she already has that set.

And I'm really trying hard not to take offense to the comments about my child not leading a real childhood because she may or may not be getting an iPhone. My child doesn't sit in front of the tv all day, she doesn't get to snack around the clock on chips, soda and candy, she isn't stuck indoors all day nor does she get to act spoiled. I'm considering getting her an iPhone - I'm not sure where it can be assumed I am cheating her out of a real childhood. She likes to play outside like any other 3 year old and she doesn't have a tv in her bedroom nor in her playroom. She's allowed 1 hour of television each day and it's usually 1/2 in the morning as she wakes up and 1/2 snuggling on the couch at the end of the day when all her friends are gone. She's even on a vegetarian organic diet and her idea of 'juice' is a fruit smoothie.

And to the person who called me out on the expensive gifts my family is getting her - no way would I say no to parents and siblings who helped raise me. Grandparents get spoiling rights - that's how it's always been and I'm perfectly okay with that! With my degree in ECE, never once has the thought of how this will affect my child in the "long-run" come to mind. Quite honestly, it's a cell phone. I'm pretty confident that having a cell phone doesn't pose any healthy risks or developmental delays in children and I do believe I'm up-to-date with my training.

I didn't grow up priviledged in the slightest and I learned respect, consideration, how to be humble and how to appreciate everything by my parents. I didn't learn that from what I received during my birthday nor did what I receive for my birthday affect my attitude on life or ability to appreciate. I think it comes down to how you parent your child(ren). If I allow my sister to buy the iPhone, I'm not going to fail in my ways of parenting and give up on what I hope to teach her in life. I'm still going to be a parent who will guide her, love her, teach her, appreciate her and help her while I'm needed.

I'm very, very lucky and very, very thankful that my career as a provider is going wonderful for me. I won't always know what the future holds nor will my stability as a sought-after daycare in my city still uphold in a few years. But, I feel that I'm fortunate enough to buy things for my child that others will see as "lavish" and perhaps unncessary. Will it matter to my child in a few years? I believe so. I can teach her to appreciate a bed that cost $2000 and to be careful and considerate of a phone that cost over $500.

So my ultimate goal for my child? To be appreciative, loving, considerate, honest, helpful, hopeful and happy. I do not feel that if she were to get an iPhone, all of this would go out the window. I can still teach her all I hope to but the only difference is that now she can call grandma, grandpa, uncle and auntie and tell on me when I insist on finishing all of her peas for dinner :P

[sharlan]

After reading your post, I'm not sure why you asked others' opinions. It seems that your mind is made up. That's fine, your her mother and it's up to you. But don't ask for opinions and then get offended when they're not to your liking.

[Rachel]

I think honestly in your situation I would get an ipad (easier for her to use) and use the money that would have gone towards the phone costs to maybe set up an account to get new books or apps every month. Apps are usually pretty cheap, but books can add up. There are also magazine subscriptions for kids. My mother is buying my kids an ipad (they are 4.5, 7, 8, 8), and although I don't think they need it, they will enjoy it. Your dd can use it to skype with family instead of calling, or just call on the regular telephone. I would use the same money and get the bigger screen, and more books and magazines for her to use and explore every month instead of a phone plan.

[littlestarday]

What is the reason behind your sister wanting to get your 4 year old a phone at all? My son has had a phone since he was in 4th grade, he was 9/10 at the time, he's now 15, but I didn't get him a phone just because I could or just to show off. That year, at the beginning of the school year, bus drivers dropped off two children at wrong addresses, one of the little boys even told the bus driver that he didn't see his house anywhere and even after doing that the bus driver told him that that was the address he had for him and left him there, both children were returned home safely by good people that found them. There's about 6/7 homes in the street that we live and they are all spread out, at that time I worked in a different city 45 mins. away from home and would always make it home right before my son got home, there were several occasions when he was just getting off the bus and I'd be driving up. I worried that one day I would get caught in traffic or that I would not be there when he got home so I bought him a phone, not only so that he could call me or his father in case I didn't make it on time, but also to track the phone location along with him in case something bad was to happen. I actually went and spoke to his Principal so that she was aware that he would be carrying his phone in his backpack. I bought him a backpack that had a hidden zippered pouch inside and he kept his phone there. I didn't tell the world that he had a phone and the ones that knew were family and close friends. To me at that time it was a necessity not a luxury. He still has a phone now, now I consider it more of a luxury, but it works to my advantage, because when he doesn't follow rules, his phone is the first thing that goes. When he turned 13 (middle school) he started being a bit rebellious, he lost his phone that whole summer and believe me, his attitute straightened right back. I'm totally up for electronic gadgets, but like Solandia stated, it isn't a gift if you are going to be paying a monthly bill, if she really wants to get her a cool "in" gadget, then like others have said why not just get her the iPod touch.

iPAD is better then a iPhone for a 1st grade student

We found a personal iPad to be very positive for the learning progress of our first graders. Every new 1st grade student will have access to carefully selected learning content on his or her i-pad assigned to him upon entry to school.

[Blackcat31]

Wow, a lot of replies! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post.

I'll try to answer everything in one post!

My daughter has a college fund already set up. For the three years we took vacations - we had our extended family donate to her college fund instead of purchasing gifts. This worked out wonderful because my daughter will not have the doll she received at her 1st of 2nd birthday - but she will always be grateful and have the monetary means to afford college. She may or may not attend after high school - I personally know that college is not for everyone. But, she can use the money towards a home or a car when she graduates high school.

She is in gymnastics class once a week and ballet once a week. For now, I feel that is more than enough extra-curricular activities for her. We attend a music class, a dramatic play zone and swimming activities within my daycare so she gets to participate in a lot of programs. We also purchase zoo/aquarium memberships for each daycare child so she already has that set.

And I'm really trying hard not to take offense to the comments about my child not leading a real childhood because she may or may not be getting an iPhone. My child doesn't sit in front of the tv all day, she doesn't get to snack around the clock on chips, soda and candy, she isn't stuck indoors all day nor does she get to act spoiled. I'm considering getting her an iPhone - I'm not sure where it can be assumed I am cheating her out of a real childhood. She likes to play outside like any other 3 year old and she doesn't have a tv in her bedroom nor in her playroom. She's allowed 1 hour of television each day and it's usually 1/2 in the morning as she wakes up and 1/2 snuggling on the couch at the end of the day when all her friends are gone. She's even on a vegetarian organic diet and her idea of 'juice' is a fruit smoothie.

And to the person who called me out on the expensive gifts my family is getting her - no way would I say no to parents and siblings who helped raise me. Grandparents get spoiling rights - that's how it's always been and I'm perfectly okay with that! With my degree in ECE, never once has the thought of how this will affect my child in the "long-run" come to mind. Quite honestly, it's a cell phone. I'm pretty confident that having a cell phone doesn't pose any healthy risks or developmental delays in children and I do believe I'm up-to-date with my training.

I didn't grow up priviledged in the slightest and I learned respect, consideration, how to be humble and how to appreciate everything by my parents. I didn't learn that from what I received during my birthday nor did what I receive for my birthday affect my attitude on life or ability to appreciate. I think it comes down to how you parent your child(ren). If I allow my sister to buy the iPhone, I'm not going to fail in my ways of parenting and give up on what I hope to teach her in life. I'm still going to be a parent who will guide her, love her, teach her, appreciate her and help her while I'm needed.

I'm very, very lucky and very, very thankful that my career as a provider is going wonderful for me. I won't always know what the future holds nor will my stability as a sought-after daycare in my city still uphold in a few years. But, I feel that I'm fortunate enough to buy things for my child that others will see as "lavish" and perhaps unncessary. Will it matter to my child in a few years? I believe so. I can teach her to appreciate a bed that cost $2000 and to be careful and considerate of a phone that cost over $500.

So my ultimate goal for my child? To be appreciative, loving, considerate, honest, helpful, hopeful and happy. I do not feel that if she were to get an iPhone, all of this would go out the window. I can still teach her all I hope to but the only difference is that now she can call grandma, grandpa, uncle and auntie and tell on me when I insist on finishing all of her peas for dinner :P

I completely understand your reasonings and think that ultimately it is up to you as this is your child.

However, I think everyone here offered you some really good advice, opinions and thoughts on the matter but one thing I personally want to say is that if I saw a 4 year old walking around with an i-phone, I would NOT be impressed....as a matter of fact, I would have all sorts of opinions, thoughts and major judgements about the parent(s) of the child.

I know my judgments and opinions are mine but I also think that I wouldn't be the only one judging you. Maybe the only one to admit it, but I know not the only one.....and the only person hurt by opinionated, judgmental people will probably be your daughter.

Ultimately, what I think or anyone else thinks should make no difference but somewhere in the grand scheme of it all, you must have had your doubts too about the whole thing or you wouldn't have posted and asked others to share their thoughts.

Whatever you decide to do, I do wish you the best as you sound like a mom who genuinely cares and is trying to do right by everyone involved (grandparents, sister, yourelf and your DD) and I am sure that you will do what ever works for you and your daughter.

Happy Birthday to your daughter too! happyfacehappyface

[Cupajoe]

I wouldn't want to cover the monthly bills of a phone just so my child can play games. I'm not really into all the Apple products, but think an Ipod touch or Ipad would be a better idea (personally I would go for a Kindle Fire) you can still get apps to text on all these devices and you get all the games...TONs of fun books to read...but no monthly bill. My niece just learned to read and her mom got her a Kindle fire for her 6th birthday and she loves it...reads it ALL the time and plays her games. It depends a lot on your child too. My son just turned 6 as well, but would be happier playing with a pile of sticks so I wouldn't dream of getting him a gift like this, he can just play a few games on my phone when he wants. My nephew is only 3 1/2 though and I can totally see him with an ipod touch or kindle fire in HIS hands. In the end, you just do what you think is best. Happy Birthday to your daughter!

[Cupajoe]

Wow, a lot of replies! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my post.

I'll try to answer everything in one post!

My daughter has a college fund already set up. For the three years we took vacations - we had our extended family donate to her college fund instead of purchasing gifts. This worked out wonderful because my daughter will not have the doll she received at her 1st of 2nd birthday - but she will always be grateful and have the monetary means to afford college. She may or may not attend after high school - I personally know that college is not for everyone. But, she can use the money towards a home or a car when she graduates high school.

She is in gymnastics class once a week and ballet once a week. For now, I feel that is more than enough extra-curricular activities for her. We attend a music class, a dramatic play zone and swimming activities within my daycare so she gets to participate in a lot of programs. We also purchase zoo/aquarium memberships for each daycare child so she already has that set.

And I'm really trying hard not to take offense to the comments about my child not leading a real childhood because she may or may not be getting an iPhone. My child doesn't sit in front of the tv all day, she doesn't get to snack around the clock on chips, soda and candy, she isn't stuck indoors all day nor does she get to act spoiled. I'm considering getting her an iPhone - I'm not sure where it can be assumed I am cheating her out of a real childhood. She likes to play outside like any other 3 year old and she doesn't have a tv in her bedroom nor in her playroom. She's allowed 1 hour of television each day and it's usually 1/2 in the morning as she wakes up and 1/2 snuggling on the couch at the end of the day when all her friends are gone. She's even on a vegetarian organic diet and her idea of 'juice' is a fruit smoothie.

And to the person who called me out on the expensive gifts my family is getting her - no way would I say no to parents and siblings who helped raise me. Grandparents get spoiling rights - that's how it's always been and I'm perfectly okay with that! With my degree in ECE, never once has the thought of how this will affect my child in the "long-run" come to mind. Quite honestly, it's a cell phone. I'm pretty confident that having a cell phone doesn't pose any healthy risks or developmental delays in children and I do believe I'm up-to-date with my training.

I didn't grow up priviledged in the slightest and I learned respect, consideration, how to be humble and how to appreciate everything by my parents. I didn't learn that from what I received during my birthday nor did what I receive for my birthday affect my attitude on life or ability to appreciate. I think it comes down to how you parent your child(ren). If I allow my sister to buy the iPhone, I'm not going to fail in my ways of parenting and give up on what I hope to teach her in life. I'm still going to be a parent who will guide her, love her, teach her, appreciate her and help her while I'm needed.

I'm very, very lucky and very, very thankful that my career as a provider is going wonderful for me. I won't always know what the future holds nor will my stability as a sought-after daycare in my city still uphold in a few years. But, I feel that I'm fortunate enough to buy things for my child that others will see as "lavish" and perhaps unncessary. Will it matter to my child in a few years? I believe so. I can teach her to appreciate a bed that cost $2000 and to be careful and considerate of a phone that cost over $500.

So my ultimate goal for my child? To be appreciative, loving, considerate, honest, helpful, hopeful and happy. I do not feel that if she were to get an iPhone, all of this would go out the window. I can still teach her all I hope to but the only difference is that now she can call grandma, grandpa, uncle and auntie and tell on me when I insist on finishing all of her peas for dinner :P

Don't let some of these answers get to you...Yes, as many people have stated, things have certainly changed in the last 10yrs-but not all in a bad way. Your daughter can totally have a "real childhood" and an Ipod touch as well...sheez. I know a lot of kids who have and use all of these devices and they do not sit with it in front of their faces day in and day out. My nephew is 3 1/2 and is one of the smartest kids I have ever known and yes I think a lot of it is becuase his brain is a sponge right now and he has access to all of these great learning games and he just soaks it in. He is in NO WAY a couch potato and spends most of his time playing outside in the dirt like any 3yr old boy would. My daughter will be 11 in a couple of weeks and I got her a Kindle Fire for her birthday and she already has a list a mile long of the books she wants on it (she isn't even a huge reader...but it's just cooler on a fire I guess. I think they are all great things and I think you sound like a very reasonable mother who is more than capable of monitoring the time your daughter spends on these devices. If I had more $$ I would totally buy this stuff for all of my kids. (I still think an Ipad or touch...would be better than a phone because it does the same things without the monthly payment

As far as the gifts your family buys for your daughter...If my parents had a dime to spend they would do the same and I would let them!

[melissa ann]

I completely understand your reasonings and think that ultimately it is up to you as this is your child.

However, I think everyone here offered you some really good advice, opinions and thoughts on the matter but one thing I personally want to say is that if I saw a 4 year old walking around with an i-phone, I would NOT be impressed....as a matter of fact, I would have all sorts of opinions, thoughts and major judgements about the parent(s) of the child.

I know my judgments and opinions are mine but I also think that I wouldn't be the only one judging you. Maybe the only one to admit it, but I know not the only one.....and the only person hurt by opinionated, judgmental people will probably be your daughter.

Ultimately, what I think or anyone else thinks should make no difference but somewhere in the grand scheme of it all, you must have had your doubts too about the whole thing or you wouldn't have posted and asked others to share their thoughts.

Whatever you decide to do, I do wish you the best as you sound like a mom who genuinely cares and is trying to do right by everyone involved (grandparents, sister, yourelf and your DD) and I am sure that you will do what ever works for you and your daughter.

Happy Birthday to your daughter too! happyfacehappyface

Agree 100%

[adoreachild]

iphone for a 4 year old baby?What you have done? Please update after making any decision.

[Starburst]

Look I didn't grow up with much privilages either and my mom was a single mom, she worked all the time and I always had to watch my younger brother. But it annoyed me everytime she gave in and gave him what ever he wanted when he threw a fit and didn't set boundries because I basically had to give up my childhood to raise my brother and when ever I tried to set limits that mom had set he would never follow it and she would even cave in and let him do what he wanted. I do not regret that I didn't always get what I wanted, I regretted that my mom never listened to me when it came to my brother and always tried to still act like she was the boss of me and act like everything was fine. She's one of those moms that says 'we never talk we need to talk more' but once you say something she doesn't like she tells you to 'shut up' we have gotten in fights when she would even say that I was stupid and then tell me later that she's glad I'm her daughter and she loves me and try to buy me gifts. Kids are smarter than you think, they can see right through you when you try to buy them whatever they want all the time and they know how to get to you. I never got much of a childhood but today I am 21 and I am more mature and responsible than some 25-40 year olds I used to know. My brother is 20 just now starting to get his life on track (a job trying to get GED) and still hasn't graduated high school (he left off as a sophmore) and has gotten introuble with the law alot in his teens and has alot of issues with authority

I have said before that I want to be able to give my kids the life I never had but by that I mean: a family with 2 caring parents that make a comfortable living, a healthy lifestyle (I was and still am overweight), a low environment, and yes, a few toys here and there; but I want them to still do chores and have responsibilities. My fiance and I have talked about when we would let our future kids have cell phones and we said MAYBE when they were about 9 or 10 but it would be one of those cheapy phone where they can only store a certain amount of numbers and most of the numbers on it would be ours and family. And this is because I don't want my kids to feel like toys and technology is a right- It's a previlage and if they do anything to deserve to have that privilage taken away I would more than gladly give it to a child who is less privilaged and will appriciate it.

And yes I too have taken child development classes (currently 29 completed units of ECE as of last semester) and many of my CD/ECE professors who are always keeping up-to-date on studies/laws and have had many years expierience working in the ECE industry (one for over 40 years) all say that children who have too much toys and are exposed to too much technology at a young age tend to be at a higher risk of having lower attention spands and less imagination as they get older than children who are given less electronics and less toys.

Try reading the book 'the power of play' by David Elkind Ph.D- he says he goes into a room of school-agers and non of the children know what imagination is! He also talks about how toys are becoming more like adult items and how it is effecting childhood.