Another Child Touched My Son at Daycare

[sharlan]

I would move my child, if for no other reason, to break the cycle.

Just because your provider has been in business for 30 yrs, it does not make her an authority on sex abuse. People who should know better can cause far more damage by improperly interrogating children. Anybody remember the McMartin case in SoCal 30 yrs ago?

IMHO, your provider is making a mountain out of a molehill.

[nannyde]

I would move my child, if for no other reason, to break the cycle.

Just because your provider has been in business for 30 yrs, it does not make her an authority on sex abuse. People who should know better can cause far more damage by improperly interrogating children. Anybody remember the McMartin case in SoCal 30 yrs ago?

IMHO, your provider is making a mountain out of a molehill.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McMartin_preschool_trial

The trial lasted seven years and cost $15 million, the longest and most expensive criminal case in the history of the United States legal system, and ultimately resulted in no convictions

[Geegee]

I would move my child, if for no other reason, to break the cycle.

Just because your provider has been in business for 30 yrs, it does not make her an authority on sex abuse. People who should know better can cause far more damage by improperly interrogating children. Anybody remember the McMartin case in SoCal 30 yrs ago?

IMHO, your provider is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Here's a question :confused:- what's the deal with dc manipulating a situation where the two kids who played the game to be alone again and spy on them to see if inappropriate behavior would repeat itself? I mean what's the logic to this?

From my understanding if children are showing or touching privates they are to be supervised more than before and to ensure they are not in a setting to do this behavior again. I'm still dumbfounded that my child was set up for failure and then I'm the one who is told, Oh I think your child is being sex abused in your family.

I know she's removed from daycare since this event but she may come back to me insisting on the two weeks pay which I don't feel responsible for. The police dept advised immediate removal based on their interview with my daughter. I just want to end it, learn from it and have daughter start a new, fun experience at summer camp where she's very excited to attend. We visited today so she could see where she is going and already packed her new backpack.

[Cat Herder]

I know it is a tough situation.

The important issue is resolved. You daughter is going to a better suited environment for her where this issue is much less likely to happen again.

As far as the contract and money, it is debatable.

IMHO:

1. If it is in your contract that your child would be directly supervised and this incident was the first you had been made aware that she was not, then it is a breach of contract and the Provider is out of luck.

2. If it is in your contract that the kids were not directly supervised, on a different floor, and you still chose to have her there it is not a breach of contract and you owe her.

3. If you signed a contract that did not specify how the kids were supervised but clearly outlined the two week termination policy, you still owe her. (I never liked this, because the only way to learn it is to get hit with it, but it is true.)

I know it did not turn out to be the best choice for your daughter, but you still have to remember that in your State she was within Regulations. If it is not in the contract, it does not exist when it comes to small claims court and payment issues. They only want to see proof of attendance, the contract and the amount owed.

In the future (and for others reading) remember It is so important to read and understand your contract. You really have to pay attention and do your homework. Don't go by what is said during the interview as much as what is in the contract.

[Geegee]

I know it is a tough situation.

The important issue is resolved. You daughter is going to a better suited environment for her where this issue is much less likely to happen again.

As far as the contract and money, it is debatable.

IMHO:

1. If it is in your contract that your child would be directly supervised and this incident was the first you had been made aware that she was not, then it is a breach of contract and the Provider is out of luck.

2. If it is in your contract that the kids were not directly supervised, on a different floor, and you still chose to have her there it is not a breach of contract and you owe her.

3. If you signed a contract that did not specify how the kids were supervised but clearly outlined the two week termination policy, you still owe her. (I never liked this, because the only way to learn it is to get hit with it, but it is true.)

I know it did not turn out to be the best choice for your daughter, but you still have to remember that in your State she was within Regulations. If it is not in the contract, it does not exist when it comes to small claims court and payment issues. They only want to see proof of attendance, the contract and the amount owed.

In the future (and for others reading) remember It is so important to read and understand your contract. You really have to pay attention and do your homework. Don't go by what is said during the interview as much as what is in the contract.

Thank you for this information. If we are bound by contact and she requires payment, she will receive her it. I did request to be excused from the 2 weeks so have to see what the reply is as there is no specifics about supervision. Other than the state supervision of MN which is that we discussed earlier (within hearing distance). I know dc never wanted or promoted this behavior, it happened and now resolving any business matters. Better go water my money tree now!

[Cat Herder]

I am sorry, hun. It does stink....

Maybe you could write in about changing your States Regs to include supervision? IDK, worth a shot?

I'd leave out your providers name, though. No need kicking a hornets nest, IYKWIM?

[Unregistered]

I'm sorry this situation is happening, but what I don't understand is the anger and blaming of the daycare provider and the talk of flaking out of payment. The behavior your child showed IS consistent with being sexually molested. Whether further investigation can clarify the matter for you or not remains to be seen. From reading your posts it seems you are angry that the DC stated this basic fact to you. Would you rather she just blow it off when someone could be hurting your child? It seems that some introspection could be helpful for you. Being molested does not make a child a bad person. Your reaction seems like you feel the DC is labeling your child as a deviant... when in reality it is the person who taught your child this "game" who is the deviant.

[Unregistered]

Adult kidding pulls 4 yr olds nephews pants down

I recently found out from my son the nephew, it started simply with "I Don't like Uncle ******* and then I was informed only by my son , what should I Do? very upset for my son.

[Unregistered]

Seriously...

Okay. Freaky when this stuff happens but kids will explore. Sure it was all innocent. It is a matter of having a dialogue with your child of what is and isn't appropriate behavior. I'm sure that once the tapes are shown you will see the kids were just playing. As parents and providers you need to remain calm and rational. Going to the extreme of sexual abuse over normal child development and interest can be damaging to the child. My question is where we're the daycare staff? The kids were obviously out of sight longer than a few minutes to kiss and pull down pants. So that's who you should be concerned about, not the kids exploring their bodies.