PSA: Be Careful What You Say...Even Here

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  • Signed out for Privacy

    PSA: Be Careful What You Say...Even Here

    I am a registered user, but I've signed out to hopefully maintain my privacy.

    I just got done meeting with someone from Children's Services. There have been allegations brought against me, and they didn't come from a vindictive parent. They came from here. How do I know? Because she told me what the allegations were, and most of them were things that I have only ever talked about here.

    Someone, I don't know who and I probably never will and I frankly don't care, decided that they don't like me and dug through my old posts looking for stupid things I've said or done, then managed to figure out where I live as well as my real name, and contacted the local Children's services.

    After discussing the allegations and meeting with the investigator, she said preliminarily that she's pretty sure nothing will come of it, that the claims are completely unsubstantiated. I had nothing to hide. I told her the entire truth of every single thing. The only thing that this is doing is causing disruption to my day and the days of my daycare families as each of them has to sit down and speak with the investigator as well.

    So. Be careful what you say. Be careful what you post. Be careful what you vent, especially if it might be controversial. Someone on here, whether it's a lurker, a frequent poster, or someone who's completely unregistered, might someday decide for whatever reason to go back and use it against you. Someone you've never met, who's never met you, who only knows what they can read on the Internet, who only knows what you've said, and might not have the whole story--couldn't possibly have the whole story, because they don't know you.

    I'm not sure any longer that this is such a supportive environment; I'm not sure this is a safe place to vent my frustrations. I am feeling the loss of the support acutely, as I have very much appreciated it. I don't know yet if I'm going to keep posting under my registered name or not. I haven't decided.
  • momofboys
    Advanced Daycare Member
    • Dec 2009
    • 2560

    #2
    Originally posted by Signed out for Privacy
    I am a registered user, but I've signed out to hopefully maintain my privacy.

    I just got done meeting with someone from Children's Services. There have been allegations brought against me, and they didn't come from a vindictive parent. They came from here. How do I know? Because she told me what the allegations were, and most of them were things that I have only ever talked about here.

    Someone, I don't know who and I probably never will and I frankly don't care, decided that they don't like me and dug through my old posts looking for stupid things I've said or done, then managed to figure out where I live as well as my real name, and contacted the local Children's services.

    After discussing the allegations and meeting with the investigator, she said preliminarily that she's pretty sure nothing will come of it, that the claims are completely unsubstantiated. I had nothing to hide. I told her the entire truth of every single thing. The only thing that this is doing is causing disruption to my day and the days of my daycare families as each of them has to sit down and speak with the investigator as well.

    So. Be careful what you say. Be careful what you post. Be careful what you vent, especially if it might be controversial. Someone on here, whether it's a lurker, a frequent poster, or someone who's completely unregistered, might someday decide for whatever reason to go back and use it against you. Someone you've never met, who's never met you, who only knows what they can read on the Internet, who only knows what you've said, and might not have the whole story--couldn't possibly have the whole story, because they don't know you.

    I'm not sure any longer that this is such a supportive environment; I'm not sure this is a safe place to vent my frustrations. I am feeling the loss of the support acutely, as I have very much appreciated it. I don't know yet if I'm going to keep posting under my registered name or not. I haven't decided.
    There are all ways we could be more private. I really should change my username so it is not part of my first name. I'm sorry you are going through this! I hope everything turns out okay & that the stress dies down. do you know who reported you?

    Comment

    • DCMomOf3
      Advanced Daycare.com Member
      • Jul 2010
      • 1246

      #3
      I am sorry that this has happened to you. I know that what is typed can be misconstrued at times, or that what is written isn't the whole story. I am glad for you your investigator is not too concerned with the findings and I hope what comes of the investigation is for the best for all concerned.
      Last edited by Michael; 02-08-2011, 10:26 PM.

      Comment

      • cillybean83
        Daycare.com Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 544

        #4
        that stinks! there is always someone out there looking to cause drama, just live by the rule of "what i say about you, i would say to you" and you'll be fine. if you vent about a dck or dcp, don't say anything you wouldn't say directly to the parent, that's where it can get hairy! maybe you don't WANT to say it to them to avoid confrontation or whatever, but not wanting to say it and just venting here is way different than saying things here that you would NEVER want your dcps to know.

        i'm sorry this is happening, and whoever is messing with you is an @sshat.

        Comment

        • mammaof3girls
          Member Awaiting Status Upgrade
          • Feb 2011
          • 1

          #5
          That ****s!! I have already changed mine.

          Comment

          • DCMomOf3
            Advanced Daycare.com Member
            • Jul 2010
            • 1246

            #6
            Originally posted by mammaof3girls
            That ****s!! I have already changed mine.
            If you just want to change your name and don't mind your posts being attached to it, Michael can change it so you don't lose the association to your history.

            Comment

            • momofboys
              Advanced Daycare Member
              • Dec 2009
              • 2560

              #7
              Yes, how can I change mine?!? Someone help, I don't want to lose my history either. Do I contact Michael?

              Comment

              • Unregistered

                #8
                Oh ouch...that is bad bad bad..I won't be posting here anymore - that is WAY to low. Everything I have ever said I own..but I dont dare post anything ever again as everything can be turned around..and used against you.

                (Registered User Logged Out ( for good )

                Comment

                • lvt77
                  Daycare Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 597

                  #9
                  wow someone seriously had some time on their hands to make this happen. how sad of a person they must be to spend all of their time to do that...

                  I am very sorry that this happened to you and my heart goes out to you.
                  I worry about the same thing all the time...why because I bought a premium listing to be on this site for those families looking for a provider. I think that if they are able to find the site, they can easily click on the form. I too will need to change my name as it is part of my email address...

                  again so sorry and I hope that it all goes well for you....

                  Comment

                  • Cat Herder
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 13744

                    #10
                    I guess it would depend on what you posted, we all are mandated reporters.

                    I doubt any of the providers in jail for hurting kids ever expected it to be them, either...

                    I bet they would have loved for someone to have stepped in when they were getting close to that ledge (like that post from Shane reminds me of)?

                    Maybe just take it as a learning experience?

                    I changed my username as well a while back since I initially registered with my daycare name, duh.

                    It is all a learning process...but not worth leaving over. Just cooperate and it should go well if everything is on the up and up

                    Just because they said it came from here does not mean it came from a provider....they could be telling you what the other person told them to, YKWIM?

                    I know for a fact that all of my parents come here, too....
                    - Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.

                    Comment

                    • DCMomOf3
                      Advanced Daycare.com Member
                      • Jul 2010
                      • 1246

                      #11
                      You can private message Michael if you want to change your name. I can try but I don't know if I have the authority.

                      Comment

                      • momma2girls
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Nov 2009
                        • 2283

                        #12
                        Originally posted by janarae
                        Yes, how can I change mine?!? Someone help, I don't want to lose my history either. Do I contact Michael?
                        I did as well.

                        Comment

                        • momma2girls
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Nov 2009
                          • 2283

                          #13
                          Originally posted by DCMomOf3
                          You can private message Michael if you want to change your name. I can try but I don't know if I have the authority.
                          If you figure it out, please pm me on it.

                          Comment

                          • MommyMuffin
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 860

                            #14
                            Sorry this happened to you.

                            I dont know of any parents that go on here. It makes me wonder now.

                            It would be nice just to chat about our day without worrying that a parent will take a grip or vent as more then what it is. (A grip or vent). Everyone needs someone or some place to vent a little bit about their day with people who understand. My hubby doesnt like to listen to "daycare" talk and I dont have any friends that are providers so all you ladies are my daycare friends.

                            How would a parent know it was you? How would you know a parent was on the site?

                            Just change your name and start fresh.

                            Comment

                            • AfterSchoolMom
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Dec 2009
                              • 1973

                              #15
                              I never give out any info that could be traced back to me. I don't use the same user name for my accounts online, I don't post any identifying information (like what state I live in, my kids' names, or even a website) for this very purpose.

                              It really stinks that someone did this. I've never seen anything here that was bad enough for someone to report, and I've been here for a couple of years now!

                              Comment

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