Frustrating Parent Situation

[msue1301]

I would like advice as to how to deal with this... I've been accused in the past as being too nice, and I guess that gets me in trouble at times. I was taking care of this now 4 year old and about 2 months ago the mom (who I also cared for from 7 to 11 yrs old!) mentioned something about not liking me to be gone and my husband here when they pick up. She's known my husband from back when she was coming, and was OK with him subbing for me when I have to take my daughter places later in the day, and just suddenly mentioned this! I gave her a discount because she and her husband were struggling with their job situations for a bit, but they got behind in paying me. I thought she'd catch it up and trusted (too much) that she wouldn't rook me. Well, I've had parents in the past suddenly find things to complain about when they owe me. Now she's acting like she's mad. Since she took her daughter out, she won't respond to messages I send, and when she did last she said she'd pay me as soon as she can and that she has to catch up on other things--day care providers come last... I get so fed up with folk that want us to be perfect, but they don't care if or when we get paid! Her mom took her out abruptly because I had this girl sitting at the table for the day when she was 11, doing activities there, because she had lice! Her mom hadn't removed them but got mad at me for leaving her at the table. So I know this girl can be kind of mean to people at times, but she never acted like this towards me before. She liked it when she was coming here and now I don't know why she's acting mad. I tried to get her to do an evaluation and she didn't respond. Any suggestions? Maybe I should just let it go, but boy, that sure does hurt!

[SunshineMama]

I would like advice as to how to deal with this... I've been accused in the past as being too nice, and I guess that gets me in trouble at times. I was taking care of this now 4 year old and about 2 months ago the mom (who I also cared for from 7 to 11 yrs old!) mentioned something about not liking me to be gone and my husband here when they pick up. She's known my husband from back when she was coming, and was OK with him subbing for me when I have to take my daughter places later in the day, and just suddenly mentioned this! I gave her a discount because she and her husband were struggling with their job situations for a bit, but they got behind in paying me. I thought she'd catch it up and trusted (too much) that she wouldn't rook me. Well, I've had parents in the past suddenly find things to complain about when they owe me. Now she's acting like she's mad. Since she took her daughter out, she won't respond to messages I send, and when she did last she said she'd pay me as soon as she can and that she has to catch up on other things--day care providers come last... I get so fed up with folk that want us to be perfect, but they don't care if or when we get paid! Her mom took her out abruptly because I had this girl sitting at the table for the day when she was 11, doing activities there, because she had lice! Her mom hadn't removed them but got mad at me for leaving her at the table. So I know this girl can be kind of mean to people at times, but she never acted like this towards me before. She liked it when she was coming here and now I don't know why she's acting mad. I tried to get her to do an evaluation and she didn't respond. Any suggestions? Maybe I should just let it go, but boy, that sure does hurt!

I am also too nice. What I have learned, thanks to the support from this forum (especially Blackcat, ) is that you have to stick to your policies, be professional, and not take things personally. I still do (you can see my other post I did today), but when it comes to it, the more you stick up for yourself the better. It gets easier as you go. Send her a bill via certified mail with a return address.

Seriously also, why was the girl sitting at your table all day with lice? She should have been sent home asap- you are a saint for allowing her to stay for even 5 minutes. If I had a kid with lice we would all be outside until mom or dad came to pick up the child asap, or I would be on the phone with emergency backups.

[Cat Herder]

Sounds like she felt entitled to special because you have a long history. (see any "family" or "friends" thread here for more : When you treated her like any other client, as you should, she got mad.

I'd let it go, learn from it and not make special exceptions for anyone else.

Also, I'd not have let the child attend at all with lice, so IMO Mom does not have any right to complain about your seperating her daughter from the group.

Good luck, sorry you are going through this. Similar things have happened to me in the past, too, and it still hurts everytime.

[mom2many]

I have had similar situations occur and it's never easy to be treated like this. I don't think some people look at this as "my" paycheck and think money owed to me can wait!

It's hard when you have compassion and try to accommodate someone struggling and fortunately in 26 years, I have only had one, single mom skip out without paying me. When I realized she was merely using me, I quickly cut off services and stopped watching her little boy, before I was owed very much money. I learned early on to never let anyone get behind by more than a few dollars. My standard practice is to pay on Monday for the upcoming week and I had let her use me on a drop in basis for a few hours here and there.

I agree with SunshineMama and you need to remember this is your business and "stick up for your policies, be professional and not take things personally." I would also do as she suggested and send her a bill via certified mail.
Good luck!

[LK5kids]

I've been told I am too nice too! But I won't let kids return Monday if I haven't been paid. I'm tough when it comes to money! It's hard when people do this.

{HUGS} to U!