Help!! 21 Month Olds Crying Driving Me Nuts!!

[Angelwings36]

I have been holding a space for 6 months now for a family of a 21-month-old girl that started with me in the beginning of September.

Dcg is a very sweet and loving child, but on the flip side her constant crying for “mommy” is driving me batty! Dcg is already crying when she reaches the door at 7:30am (my earliest drop off time) and continues to cry until 8:30am (my latest drop off time). I literally cannot answer the door without her screaming blue murder! So this is how my day begins!

The crying will slow down after the last child is in my care and my door is not being open anymore, that is, if I let dcg do whatever she wants. Dcg has decided that she doesn’t want to be in the daycare main play area and will sit out in the kitchen by herself. Of course I do not allow this, so that means every 5 minutes I have to pick up dcg, carry her back to the daycare main play area, while she is kicking and screaming blue murder the whole time! This goes on all morning long…

When lunchtime comes she will throw any food item I give to her and absolutely refuses to eat! This child is surviving on milk alone, as she will not even drink water when I offer it to her! Dcm says that dcg drinks A LOT of milk at home, sometimes 4L in 3 days.

Dcm informed me on the first day that dcg arrived at daycare that she will not nap in a pnp, so I have her in my quiet time area. This is the ONLY thing that seems to be going ok. Dcg wears herself out so much screaming blue murder all morning that when I place her in her quiet time place she does go to sleep and does remain on her matt the whole time. Does this make sense? I can’t get her to stay in the play area all morning, but at naptime she doesn’t have a problem with it? My play area gets turned into the ‘older’ kids quiet time area for afternoon naptime.

All He** breaks lose again in the afternoon. As soon as my door gets opened for my first departure she begins her blue murder scream and literally cries for the full hour (sometimes longer) until her mother arrives to pick her up at 5:15pm (my latest pick up time).

By the time I close my doors my nerves are completely shot and I go into ‘zombie’ mode. I can’t even switch on my TV because the noise irritates me too much!

I just don’t know what to do to calm this child down other than to allow her to break all my rules and have her mom be the last drop off and first pick up…OBVIOUSLY THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

Advice please…I’m sure Nan has some?

[blessedmess8]

I think she is probably just adjusting. Is this her 2nd week? Probably with a long weekend in between? I would do what works for her until she adjusts some and then slowly transition her in to the same routine/rules as the other kids.

[laundrymom]

I agree its only the 9th, I would however keep her on YOUR rules, your routines, if she cries look at her and say, no,.. you need to stop, you can cry later. and move her to the next thing in your day. I would keep her little mind busy and keep her in your world. Kids have short attention spans, its easier to distract them with the cool things you have plannned than to let her stand in the kitchen and focus on her fit. At least thathas been my experience, I every so often have one having an adjustment issue and I just grab them, and move past the fit to a happy attitude and activity. ok, lets take off your shoes, put your jacket away, I say as Im removing them, then I take child in other area and we begin our day.... they look around like,.. hey,.. when did I lose control of my fit,.. what just happened,.. then they realize my fun is more fun than their fit.

[blessedmess8]

I agree its only the 9th, I would however keep her on YOUR rules, your routines, if she cries look at her and say, no,.. you need to stop, you can cry later. and move her to the next thing in your day. I would keep her little mind busy and keep her in your world. Kids have short attention spans, its easier to distract them with the cool things you have plannned than to let her stand in the kitchen and focus on her fit. At least thathas been my experience, I every so often have one having an adjustment issue and I just grab them, and move past the fit to a happy attitude and activity. ok, lets take off your shoes, put your jacket away, I say as Im removing them, then I take child in other area and we begin our day.... they look around like,.. hey,.. when did I lose control of my fit,.. what just happened,.. then they realize my fun is more fun than their fit.

I like this!!

[mismatchedsocks]

I agree with keeping her busy. I had one little boy that would cry everytime door was opened or my phone beeped or rang. I moved him out of door shot when pick up times were happening and if need be put in pnp and have some fun new toys for her in there? I can imagine how horrible drop offs and pick ups may be with everyone with her crying.
As for the food, i would stand right above her when you give her the food. Say eat, then stand there if she throws it. take it away for a while, move on with other children then try again. If she refuses to eat, that is fine, dont let her throw the food. Say no. Hopefully she will catch on soon. Good luck!

[mom2many]

Hugs to you! Sounds like separation anxiety and she's having a tough time in a new environment away from mom. That can be hard transitioning and my heart goes out to you! Over the years, I have had a few kids that had never been left with anyone else and always home with mom...not easy at times.

I would try to get her involved with fun activities and toys and playing with the other children. Keeping her busy and occupied sometimes helps as a diversion. Reassure her that mommy will be back and give her as much one on one time as you can.

I agree with blessedmess8 and would try to to make the transition as easy as possible by doing what makes her feel most comfortable and secure in the beginning while she is getting used to being there. Usually after just a little time, she should build up trust knowing mom will return and begin to settle in easier.