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Anyone ever feel like giving up, only to hang on and it gets better? I've only been licensed and running since June, but lately I'm having doubts that this is for me. I have 4 school aged children of my own and I started the daycare to be at home with my kids...I was a 5th grade teacher. But now I don't have time for them when they get home from school because I have pick-ups 'til 5:30pm. Also, my youngest (special needs) has had multiple surgeries and hospitalizations this last month and it kills me that I can't be there for him...my husband has been taking care of him. Am I just going crazy because this is a difficult season in our family or is this just the way it is with home daycare? Thanks!
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This is probably not going to make you feel any better and I am sorry but honestly providers who stay home thinking it gives you more flexibilty to be with your own children and attend school functions get a dose of reality pretty quickly when you find out that daycare doesn't always allow for any of what you thought it would.
I am so sorry you are going through what you are with your kiddos (especially your youngest) but I would maybe take a while and really think about if daycare is what you want to do. It does have it's ups and downs like any job but it IS a huge committment and unfortunatley it doesn't give us mothers any more flexibiltiy to be with our children than when we worked outside the home.
Yes, I was physically with my children but when you have to tend to several other children at the same time and not make it look like you are favoring only yours it is hard and heartbreaking at the same time.
Once they reach school age, you start to feel trapped at home then because you can't be available for them unless you take all your dck's with you too....
There are pros and cons to being a provider and it isn't for everyone. I wish I had an easy answer for you but I sadly don't. Just make sure you really think about what your own families needs are and what priority they are in your life and do not feel bad about your decision to stay or go. It should be whatever works best for YOU.
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I've been on this forum from day one and I see what you are going through a lot. Here are just a few of the threads on "burnt out" and overwhelmed". Things ALWAYS work out. You justy have to give it time.
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Hi Mommyto4, welcome to the forum!
1st of all big hugs to you!
It is hard and does take away from family in a way BUT it also allows us to be here every day for our family even if not in such a private setting. I try to make time for my son when he gets home from school. The kids have me all day so at 3:00 they get snack and then free play wich allows me that much needed 1 on 1 time with my own child. I was also overwhelmed working 10-11 hr days so I decided to cut back on hours and even term a child (they had it coming anyway). What time do you open? I run from 8am -5 pm now and even the 1-2 hrs have made a huge difference. Maybe you can just try cutting back some or allowing more free play so that you can make extra special time with your own kids for a bit. Perhaps have an assistant come in for a bit each day or a few days a week? I have that as well at times when I need it.
I hope you feel better soon and manage to work it out if it is truly what you want.Comment
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I'm currently open from 6:30am-5:30pm...I have 1 dcb that is here from open to close! I've considered an assistant, but legally in FL I can't have one unless I'm a large family home daycare, which you have to be a small for 2 yrs. first. Coming into this, I knew I would be stuck at home...I guess I just didn't realize how I would feel about it!Comment
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It's work, hard work
Home daycare is hard. Its hard work. You are pulled from every direction at all times. If you get a break your lucky. It's work.
It is also very rewarding in so many ways.
Asking your own children to share you doesn't have to be hard. Especially that you have older children. Dad stepping up and helping you with special needs child is a blessing all in itself. Look at it as his time and dad and child time. It can be a teaching time for your kids too. If you had a full time job out of the house they would have no you at all until your work was done. When daycare is over......your back to being full time mom.
It's not for everyone.
Be organized, manage time wise, have a policy book for your parents and stick with it.
I could go on more on all of these points, but I am sure others will step in here and offer more. My major point is that doing daycare is a lot of hard work! If you don't take care of you-and your needs burn out is right around the corner looking to **** you in.Comment
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you can have a helper. Hire someone to come in a few hours a week to help you when you need it the most.
Give yourself things to look forward too, like going for a walk, shopping, whatever when daycare is over to get out of the house,talk with adults, and not feel like the walls are caving in on you-
Don't stare at the clock all day wishing your days away- keep busy with a routine
Again, hope this helps and don't beat yourself up if you find out this is just not for you. Life is short. Live it well.Comment
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Boy, have I been there, Sister!! After the first few months, I was looking for jobas and ready to throw in the towel! I had a sick little girl, too! The home daycare biz was so different than what I thought it would be - and I had been in child care quite a while! Know what helped me? Routtine and planning! It takes a little while. Probably took me a good year (and I'm still tweaking things!) Make a schedule, do some "lesson plans." They don't have to be real detailed, just if you even jot down a rough idea of what you want to do each day of the week. Make out menus and make enough at lunch that you can serve it at dinner! Once your routine is solid, you'll have a nice long nap time to do some housework so that by The time evening comes, it will be all about YOUR family. Try to create a separate space for your daycare if you can, or make a way to "hide" daycare related things so that in the evenings you don't still feel like you are at work. I am so glad I stuck it out! Don't get me wrong! I still have days or weeks that are bad. But, isn't that how ANY job is??Comment
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I've run a day care business out of my home for 16 years now. In each of those years, I've reached a point where, for one reason or another, I felt like giving up. Some times the urge was stronger than at other times but I've never missed a year where I didn't feel it to some degree. So far, I've hung on and the feeling has passed eventually.
It could be that you're feeling the way you are because of your family situation. It has to be hard for you not to be at the hospital with your son when you want so much to be. It's wonderful, though, that your husband can be there for him. I'm guessing if your husband is there during the day when you can't be, you are there for him at night when you can be.
If you think there's a chance you want to stick with day care, there are things you can do in order to be there for your kids in ways you might not be to if you work outside the home. When I started, my kids were relatively young. I built my day care hours around their schedules. My hours are 8:00-4:00 because I wanted my kids to have the house and me to themsevles when they got ready for school in the morning and when they got off the school bus in the afternoon. I work Mon-Thurs so I'd be guaranteed a day off on Friday. I scheduled all dr., dentist, therapy, testing appointments on that day so I could bring my kids to them myself. It was also a day I could attend school functions, IEP meetings, etc. When school events were scheduled on other days, I called it a field trip, packed the dc kids into the van and brought them with me. They loved seeing the "big kids" at school where they could see the plays and concerts. (Since they were well-behaved, bringing the dc kids with me wasn't bad advertising, either.)
I also appreciated being home when my kids were sick and needed me. Now that my youngest is a teenager, I'm thankful I can be home to monitor what goes on when she's out of school for the day/summer. Sometimes I think it's more important that I'm home now that she's older than when she was young.
There are pros and cons to every job. If you've only been licensed since June, I'd suggest giving it a little longer to see if you can make it work. If you're still feeling the same way 3 to 6 months from now, maybe reconsider day care at that point. Good luck.Comment
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I'm the same way, so far! Seems like it is always in the Winter!
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i think it is a big realization that home daycare IS a serious full time job. you are physically present with your kids but not able to meet all their wants and unfortunately, all their needs as you had planned. its part of the deal and probably not going to get easier. you just have to figure out if the pros outweigh the cons.Comment
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I poured over each of your responses last night and decided to just change my attitude today. What a difference that has made. My son is home on bed rest and my husband was able to stay home and keep him company. I chose to just be content and enjoy my dck's today....and I have. I've made a commitment to myself to not make any rash decisions. We spent a lot of money converting a room into our daycare room and I really want to make this work. Positive attitude, take offers of help when I really need it, and getting out of the house at least daily (for a walk or gardening)...those are the three things that I'm going to try and implement. Thank you all so much for your kind words!Comment
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I think this is your problem. I dont' allow anything past a 10 hour day. 10 is more than enough. I decided any new clients I take have a maximum of 9.5 hours per day.
Right now you are working 11 hours a day for 1 child!!! This doesn't include any time you spend doing paperwork, planning meals, shopping, bank runs, etc.
Talk to this family and find out if they are really needing 11 hours of care or if they are padding. (Example of padding: DCD has to be at work at 7am. DCM has to be at work at 9am but they are bring child in at 630am.) Don't let it happen if they are padding. If you know both DCM and DCD work 8am to 5pm and commute is 15 minutes, they don't need to be bringing that child until 730am. There's an hour saved!
I don't let DCP's make up the times, when I interview I find out what hours they work and where. Then I say..."Oh...ok, you only work about 10 minutes away so drop off time should be about 740am and pickup will be around 515pm, right?"
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DCM is a teacher. She has to be at work @ 7:10, and the school is 5min from my house. (I was a teacher, so I know how it is...you CAN get off at 3:00, but most teachers stay until 4:30-5pm.) Dad is currently unemployed because they just moved into town. I know they are padding, and it's making me resentful. I should talk to them, but in a way I feel I did this to myself since I have hours open instead of different hours for each child. Is it too late to change? Actually, she's the only one that does this...everyone else picks up around 8.5hrs.I think this is your problem. I dont' allow anything past a 10 hour day. 10 is more than enough. I decided any new clients I take have a maximum of 9.5 hours per day.
Right now you are working 11 hours a day for 1 child!!! This doesn't include any time you spend doing paperwork, planning meals, shopping, bank runs, etc.
Talk to this family and find out if they are really needing 11 hours of care or if they are padding. (Example of padding: DCD has to be at work at 7am. DCM has to be at work at 9am but they are bring child in at 630am.) Don't let it happen if they are padding. If you know both DCM and DCD work 8am to 5pm and commute is 15 minutes, they don't need to be bringing that child until 730am. There's an hour saved!
I don't let DCP's make up the times, when I interview I find out what hours they work and where. Then I say..."Oh...ok, you only work about 10 minutes away so drop off time should be about 740am and pickup will be around 515pm, right?"Comment
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You can change it.
Notify her that you are raising rates effective in two weeks. I would set the rate ten dollars per day more than what she is paying now. Offer that she can keep her current rate if her hours decrease to a nine hour day. She must pick a nine hour schedule and stick to it if she would like the lower rate.
So if she is paying 100 dollars a week the rate goes to 150 per week with her current schedule. If she would like she can keep the rate of 100 dollars per week but she must stay within nine SCHEDULED hours per day. If she needs additional time she must ask in advance and it must be approved. Set the additional hours at five dollars for every fifteen minutes.
She just needs to be reset to a normal rate. Some parents can't resist having their kids in care if they have the option to do it for free. She may have picked you because she can get eleven hours for the price others are charging for nine. Be prepared for her to leave if she doesn't want to have any face time with her kid during the day. If she wants to just drop him off right after he gets up and then get him home, bathe him, and then put him to bed .... she is NOT going to like the hours change.
Dad is HOME during this?
Ugh.................................................................... Learn from this and don't do these long days. It's TOO much for the kids and way way too much for your kids.... and way way way way too much for you. It ONLY works for the parent.. nobody else.Comment
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