When a child sleeps through meals at DC

[daycare]

So I have a child who has been with me for sometime now. Well over a year. The child is one that wears the pants at home and pretty much does as she pleases. The child is here 10.5 hour days and sleeps most of the time that she is here.

I run a preschool program and is the main reason the DCG parents decided to have her here. The parents are always the first ones to complain when they dont see that their child is not learning this or that.

Issue: The child decided meals and bed time at home, so she eats dinner at 11pm and goes to bed around 1am. Then gets dropped off at DC in the wrost possible mood and half asleep. She eats breakfast, but is so tired she can't possibly contorl her behavior, learn, or particiapte in any of the activities. She will often fall alseep on the floor around 10am during center time. She will sleep until 5:00 or later. So this means that she is missing all of the other meals. Both snacks and lunch. Trust me, I have tried to keep her awake so that she won't sleep so much here, but it's impossible to do so.
At 5:00, I am preping most of my kids to go home and starting my clean up. and I am not able to get this child a meal until 6:00, child goes home at 7:00. Now the parents are starting to complain that the child is straving hungry when they get home. Turst me I have also tried to wake this child to eat in the past and it's not pretty. It turns into a kicking screaming fest and will upset the rest of the group.

What do you do when a child misses a meal? Or what do you do when a child sleeps through the meal? hopefully no one else is dealing with this. I have tired my best to talk to the parents about it, but its just in one ear out the other.

There are a lot of issues with this child sleeping like this and I am really starting to think that this may not be the right fit for our group, as we are very actiive. This child is holding us back.......help please...

[Blackcat31]

Is this by any chance the same child you posted about awhile back about being too tired to do anything like curriculm or activities ever?

[daycare]

yeah got a a great memory!! yes it is. The probelm was resovled for a bit after I had a meetin with the parents. The girl was constantly getting sick do to lack of sleep and I was about to cut ties. They promised to fix the problem and it was fixed for a little bit. Then the grandparents came out to visit about a month ago and we are back to square one again but even worse....

[Blackcat31]

In all honesty, if you can financially afford to lose a child I would let this one go. You have said yourself that you are a busy group and there is no sense in forcing a child to do something (be awake ) when they are not physically able to be. It sounds as though the parents need to find a caregiver that doesn't really have much structure and is able to go with their dd's crazy ups and downs.

You are only as strong as your weakest link and if this child is throwing a wrench in your daily routine then she really should be somewhere that is a better match toher homelife and her parent's parenting style.


If you really seriously cannot afford to lose her, then you have two choices:

1) talk with parents again and beg, plead, and cajole your thoughts across to them in hopes that they will support you and try to work with you by adjusting their child's schedule. or,
2) Just do the best you can and work around this child's sleep patterns as best you can.

I hope one of these works for you. It is tough to be in a spot like this. Ideally, money shouldn't be a factor but let's not lose sight of reality and assume we can just fill a spot as quickly as we empty one. Logically, this child is NOT a good fit for your group so if terming isn't and option then you will have to come up with a solution that makes YOU fit for her...kwim?

[daycare]

I love the reassurance this site gives...or should I say you... It's like I already know what I have to do, but I just need to see or hear someone else say it.

You are very right in what you say. We are too busy and with our classes starting next week, there is no way that this child can keep up with our schedule.... ugh

But I am super excited about our classes this coming week; we are going on a guided hike through our local mountains with a park ranger. It's an outreach program for the schools and they said that they would actually do one for us free of charge; just like they would the bigger schools.....I am so amped....Sorry I went way of subject.......BUT this is how my group is, always on the go. No couch potato or sofa surfers here...

Guess it's time to **** it up, because I can't fill spots here unless I am willing to take State paid and NO way am I doing that. Not for me....

[youretooloud]

I would wake her up and put her at the table during meal times. If I absolutely couldn't wake her, and she wasn't disrupting our normal naptime, I'd probably just save her some food. It's not really her fault, you can't make her go without. She may "run the family", but she's not the adult, and she really doesn't make the decisions. She just makes it difficult for those who do.

[Kaddidle Care]

That is so sad that her clock is turned round and she is missing everything. What will you do with her when you go on a hike? Put her in a jogging stroller and let her sleep?

I don't know how old she is but if they don't get a grip on turning around her sleep pattern, school is going to be a nightmare for her, her Teacher and the entire class.

[daycare]

I have tried to wake her and have her join and it makes matter worse. It's very obvious to me she needs the sleep so I have had to allow for it. You would think that when a child gets tired enough they would fall asleep right? Well here they do but never at home.
I am not witholding food, becuase i want to give it to her, she just doesnt want to wake for it. I do feed her extra when I give her food at6, but because we are all outside or in the front cleaning up for our day, I can't have everyone stop and move to the kitchen area so this child can right away when she wakes up. It's been a long battle with this child and the sleep issues. I know its not the childs fault at all and I feel for her. It's sad that the parents dont' want to do anything about it. But complain...... I wish I coul let her go, but I can't afford to

[daycare]

That is so sad that her clock is turned round and she is missing everything. What will you do with her when you go on a hike? Put her in a jogging stroller and let her sleep?

I don't know how old she is but if they don't get a grip on turning around her sleep pattern, school is going to be a nightmare for her, her Teacher and the entire class.

She is 3.5. I plan on bringing the wagon for those kids that may get tired. Ok really for her and any others. I don't know what else I can do..... I did change in my Field Trip policy that any child that can't normally particiapte will be asked to be picked up and taken home for the day. But since we have not gone on a field trip yet, this has not been enforced.... I bet you I end up pullin her in the wagon with her sound asleep in it.

I have also tried to keep her up by going on walks, going to the park, and trying to help her turn her schedule around so that she will sleep at night, but she will still stay up until 1am and then the next day she is even worse...... ooooohhhhh boy

[Blackcat31]

If I were a parent using your services, I would be kind of upset that you have all these activites and classes for my child (which is the reason I would sign on with you) just to find out you weren't able to give me what I am paying for because one child/family/set of parents aren't holding up their end of the deal......kwim?

It would be one thing to adjust your day for this child and bring a stroller or whatever, but if we are to strive to be the best provider we can for families, there are times that we have to step up and say "This is not working. I cannot provide the service you are looking for." This child's parents obviously do not think your classes or your busy physical activities are important or they would make sure their child was well rested and prepared for the day.

I am by no means saying these parents are bad parents, I am saying that they are not respecting you, your program, the other children or the parents of those other children who are paying you to do those things with their kid. They simply need to find services that match their needs.

[daycare]

If I were a parent using your services, I would be kind of upset that you have all these activites and classes for my child (which is the reason I would sign on with you) just to find out you weren't able to give me what I am paying for because one child/family/set of parents aren't holding up their end of the deal......kwim?

It would be one thing to adjust your day for this child and bring a stroller or whatever, but if we are to strive to be the best provider we can for families, there are times that we have to step up and say "This is not working. I cannot provide the service you are looking for." This child's parents obviously do not think your classes or your busy physical activities are important or they would make sure their child was well rested and prepared for the day.

I am by no means saying these parents are bad parents, I am saying that they are not respecting you, your program, the other children or the parents of those other children who are paying you to do those things with their kid. They simply need to find services that match their needs.

oooh yes I agree. I have had to tell this family that they are restricting others from being able to do things becuase I can't leave the room for their sleeping child. I am going to give this one last go tonight and then I will do your 30 day calendar......If they don't nip it, I will.............nip it all the way through..............

thanks for shooting it straight...

[mismatchedsocks]

I personally would write talk to mom, let her know that if she wants to continue to bring child to daycare she needs to get to bed earlier. Then I would have her take a nap after breakfast, for about an hour, and keep her up until lunch nap. Then she can sleep a few hours wake up and stay up.

Tell mom this is how it will be, also tell her that if and when her child is moody with this nap time available to her, that something will have to be done. This really is the parents job to put to bed earlier. She is not sleeping at night because her nights sleep is at your house during the day!

[daycare]

I personally would write talk to mom, let her know that if she wants to continue to bring child to daycare she needs to get to bed earlier. Then I would have her take a nap after breakfast, for about an hour, and keep her up until lunch nap. Then she can sleep a few hours wake up and stay up.

Tell mom this is how it will be, also tell her that if and when her child is moody with this nap time available to her, that something will have to be done. This really is the parents job to put to bed earlier. She is not sleeping at night because her nights sleep is at your house during the day!

you know I thought that this was the case....that the child was not sleeping at night because she was sleeping here, but the week that I tried to keep her up here at my house, she would still stay awake until midnight or later at home, just making it even more impossible for her to stay awake here. After a week, I gave up. As it seems I am the only one who will get this child to sleep. the parents never put her down and wait for her to just crash out some where and then proceed to put her in her bed.....crazy, I know but I can't do anything about that.

I will be having a short meeting with mom tonight at pick up and this will be the final meeting. I'll give it a good 30 days and if it's not fixed well then I have no choice but to let go. I can't hold my other kids back