Family Time

[Country Kids]

Another thread on Time Off for Sickness got me thinking-does this job allow you more time or less time with your family. Is this job allowing you the time you thought it would to be with your family. I'm really wondering about providers with school age children of their own.

Why I ask this is because right now I do not have an assistant anymore to come in for appts. and such. She had health issues and I'm not sure if I can find anyone to replace her. Not having an assistant makes it so hard for me to do anything outside of the home and it is causing some stress.

My husband can take time from his job but we are trying to tread lightly with that because he just started a new job six months ago. With four children though there always seem to be some type of appts.-Dr., ortho, dentists,pick-ups from school, etc.

Also, last night I was trying to do billing and my children kept interupting me because they needed help with homework. Their dad was busy trying to help me clean up after dinner and trying to help also. So it seemed like forever before my billing was done. So then it was getting so late that I didn't even pick up the house before trying to go to bed.

I've been doing this for 15-16 years but recently went back into it full-time. Before that I was doing preschool for 3 years in my home. So with me only doing preschool I was also available for my children more in the afternoons.

So I guess I'm really wondering is with our jobs do we really have less time with our families or about the same as a parent that works outside the home? It seems from alot of the providers I talk to in my town, alot won't take time off from work for sickness, appt., etc. or try and rely on relatives to do all that. I actually find it sad because it seems our jobs then become more important then our families, our health, etc.

[blessedmess8]

Thank you for posting this! I, too, struggle with this! I have. 2 year old and two school age children. Of course, I get lots of time with my 2 year old, but the older kids seem to actually miss out b/c of this. I can't make it to school functions, can never take them to school, can never take a lunch break to go have lunch with them. I don't really spend time with them when they get off the bus b/c I'm busy with DCKs. Some days I get housework done at nap, but often I don't. Just last night: "Mom, can you come to my birthday party at school this month?" I had to say no. I'm not complaining, because this has been a God send in a lot of ways. But, when my youngest starts school, I just don't think I can justify missing so much of their lives and will probably have to find a regular job that isn't 11 hours a day and allows me to take off more. There is always a give and take!

[JenNJ]

This job allows me more time with my family. I am fortunate to have a MIL who lives a mile away and subs for me when needed. Also, my husband owns his own business so he can take some off whenever needed.

[Crazy8]

Another thread on Time Off for Sickness got me thinking-does this job allow you more time or less time with your family. Is this job allowing you the time you thought it would to be with your family. I'm really wondering about providers with school age children of their own.

The question is... more time or less time than WHAT??? Then being a SAHM with no income?? The answer is obvious that it leaves you less time with your family. But from working outside the home full time I feel it definitely gives you MORE time with your family.

I don't get to take off for my kids class parties or even their dr. appointments. It doesn't mean ANYTHING comes before them or their health. We get weekend and evening appointments - I've never had to sacrifice my child's health for working my daycare. I've raised my 3 kids while doing daycare. In 10 years I've never had an assistant, but my DH does have somewhat flexible hours and is sometimes home during the week (and then works weekends). BUT I am home to put my kids on the bus in the morning and when they get home in the afternoon I am here to hear about their day and help with their homework. My youngest is going to kindy this year but for the past 2 years we've had 2 hours of alone time together because he doesn't nap anymore. I wouldn't have ANY of that if I worked 8-5 anywhere but here at home. Now mine are getting older and have to be at sports practices at 5:30pm. I can get dinner on the table at 4:30-4:45 and we can be out the door by 5:15. If I worked outside the home I could never do that.

So, for me, missing class parties and scheduling evening dr. appointments is a small price to pay for all the benefits this job allows me.

[Crazy8]

Thank you for posting this! I, too, struggle with this! I have. 2 year old and two school age children. Of course, I get lots of time with my 2 year old, but the older kids seem to actually miss out b/c of this. I can't make it to school functions, can never take them to school, can never take a lunch break to go have lunch with them. I don't really spend time with them when they get off the bus b/c I'm busy with DCKs. Some days I get housework done at nap, but often I don't. Just last night: "Mom, can you come to my birthday party at school this month?" I had to say no. I'm not complaining, because this has been a God send in a lot of ways. But, when my youngest starts school, I just don't think I can justify missing so much of their lives and will probably have to find a regular job that isn't 11 hours a day and allows me to take off more. There is always a give and take!

So if you worked a "normal" full time job outside the home you would take off for all those school functions??? You very well could end up losing that job if that's the case. There are many people in today's economy "afraid" to take too much time off work because they can so easily be replaced. Taking a day off to go to your child's school on their birthday is not exactly the absence a boss wants to deal with.

I put my kids to bed at 8-8:30pm and in an hours time I can have the downstairs of my house cleaned up. Then I can sit on the computer for a bit and do some daycare paperwork, web surfing, whatever I want - its my ME time!! And there is always Sat. morning to get a little housework done too.

Just curious, did you start your daycare going from a SAHM or from a WOHM?? I think there is a big difference in the expectations depending on what you are coming from.

[rbmom]

Well, kinda more time and less time. It gives me more time when my kids are sick as I am able to be home with them but less time for afterschool activites or dr. appts, etc. We adjust and I still love it WAY more than working outside job! Now, when I open the center middle of this month who knows!?!

[Cat Herder]

I really have not had a problem with this. :confused:

I schedule most appts for my vacation weeks or during the Summer months when most families take their unpaid vacations. My husband picks up the slack when necessary.

I do all paperwork, housework, bills, dinner prep, etc. during naptime and the hour between when my own kids get on the bus and the first DCK's arrival.
During summer I have two hours in the mornings to myself since I let my kids sleep and I stay on schedule .

It works out to 3-4 hours a day available, during my workday, for my chores. THAT is my biggest perk and blessing that I did not have while working outside of the home!!! My time with my family is 100% family time.

I do my menus, shopping and bulk cooking one weekend a month. By 6pm each night and 3 weekends a month I am completely off the clock (housework/daycare).

My family participates in the cooking weekends, too, since we take a good portion of it to their Grandparents for the month as well. Fixed income retirement is not what it used to be, IYKWIM? IMHO, It is all in how you prepare yourself. I like to stack the deck in my favor so I can enjoy SIMPLE.

[Christian Mother]

I feel like I have a lot more family time staying home and running daycare out of my home. I keep my limit to just 4 kids a day and these little's are under 3 yrs but I am not always able to go to school functions. Like the parties they have in the class room or volunteer for the teacher to come in and aid. But I am there for meet the teacher or curriculum night and also the book fairs they have at the school. My daughter is in special ed so her meetings are ashually scheduled as a home visit and not at school thank goodness! My husband ashually helps a lot and volunteers for the class parties as he has a more flexible schedule and gets 3 wks off a yr. I am able to help my son with home work as I schedule that around snack and after snack is pick up time. So when there parents arrive the kids are in high chairs getting cleaned up and I put there shoes on for them so after there hands and mouths are washed they are ready to head out the door with parents. All there things are a ready for them also so it's a quick pick. It doesn't always work out that way but we make the most of it. But I feel blessed to be able to be home and I do feel that it's a better trade off to working as like Little Diamonds said even working a outside job you can't always ask for days off for party days at school. People like to save them up for vacations and sick days whether its for them selves or there child. Having worked out in outside work force that was a constant problem and you never know if who you work for is family orientated. They either care you have a family or they don't and expect you to be at work no matter if there child is sick. I don't have to worry about that by running a daycare...I'm my own boss.

[rjskids]

It definitely depends on how you look at it. When I worked in a center I was off by 3 everyday so my evenings were longer. But I missed the morning before school time. Then I went to another job where I was absent A LOT during the evenings and I hated it! So I feel like I'm more available to my family even if I'm surrounded by other kids. But I don't have any problem with having dd bring her flashcards to me during daycare while the kids are playing. Or when I only have one left to bring them in the kitchen with me while I start making dinner. But there are somedays I miss being off at 3.

[rjskids]

Oh and when it comes to missing school events I could never get off work for it anyways and doctor appointments...well, I feel like it's DH's turn now :: Hopefully someday I will have a helper that will make that easier for me.

[blessedmess8]

So if you worked a "normal" full time job outside the home you would take off for all those school functions??? You very well could end up losing that job if that's the case. There are many people in today's economy "afraid" to take too much time off work because they can so easily be replaced. Taking a day off to go to your child's school on their birthday is not exactly the absence a boss wants to deal with.

I put my kids to bed at 8-8:30pm and in an hours time I can have the downstairs of my house cleaned up. Then I can sit on the computer for a bit and do some daycare paperwork, web surfing, whatever I want - its my ME time!! And there is always Sat. morning to get a little housework done too.

Just curious, did you start your daycare going from a SAHM or from a WOHM?? I think there is a big difference in the expectations depending on what you are coming from.

I was a working mom. A single working mom at one point. I've seen both angles. Like I said: give and take. There are pros and cons! A lot of my time that I'm here is just that: I'm here, but not actually interacting with my older children. I didn't take off an entire day to go to a class party or play! I'd take a late or early lunch. As they get older, they'll have ballgames, etc, often during school hours. Do I just miss those? If you have someone you trust who can help you out it is more feazable. I have my husband, but he works in a different town.

At my previous job we had different shifts. If I needed to go in at 7:30, I could get off at 3:30 if I needed to. Now, I'm here for 10-11 hours a day. My daughter was late for soccer yesterday b/c a parent was late and my husband had to take my son to HIS practice.

Please don't take offense! I'm not knocking home daycare!! Hello! Its what I do. Clearly, it is what is working for my family RIGHT NOW. But, I don't know if it always will. It doesn't mean it won't for YOUR family!

[blessedmess8]

I really have not had a problem with this. :confused:

I schedule most appts for my vacation weeks or during the Summer months when most families take their unpaid vacations. My husband picks up the slack when necessary.

I do all paperwork, housework, bills, dinner prep, etc. during naptime and the hour between when my own kids get on the bus and the first DCK's arrival.
During summer I have two hours in the mornings to myself since I let my kids sleep and I stay on schedule .

It works out to 3-4 hours a day available, during my workday, for my chores. THAT is my biggest perk and blessing that I did not have while working outside of the home!!! My time with my family is 100% family time.

I do my menus, shopping and bulk cooking one weekend a month. By 6pm each night and 3 weekends a month I am completely off the clock (housework/daycare).

My family participates in the cooking weekends, too, since we take a good portion of it to their Grandparents for the month as well. Fixed income retirement is not what it used to be, IYKWIM? IMHO, It is all in how you prepare yourself. I like to stack the deck in my favor so I can enjoy SIMPLE.

If I could work things out like this, I would feel different, I think! Half the time I end up with about an hour to myself at nap. Not much time for chores, etc, beyond basic clean up from meals, etc.

Right now I have a VERY fussy baby who is making my daycare life very difficult!! I feel like I work more hours than I did at my previous job and actually have less time to do housework, etc, and more housework than I did because I'm here all day with 6 kids!! Maybe once he outgrows this phaze I'll feel differently!

[boysx5]

I think I have less time to see my kids play sports and go into school for certain things but I'm here on days off snow days and being here to hear abou their day after school makes this job worthwhile for me

[Crazy8]

sports are in the evenings around here... yes, there are things like 4pm dance classes but we don't sign up for those, we'll just choose the 6pm class instead. One of my pet peeves is the organizations that seem to run under the assumption that everyone is a SAHM and can get their kids to 3:30-4pm activities. So far I've raised my own 3 kids up to age 11 while doing daycare - I can't imagine having done anything else all this time. Now when they are older I may also change my mind.

There are definitely some "cons" to what we do - but to me they don't outweigh the pros.