3-Year-Olds Clothing An Issue

[Hunni Bee]

I have a 3yo boy who every day wears oversized "hip-hop" clothing. Shirt-tails that reach his knees, shorts that reach his ankles, pants that never fit his waist. Its affects how he walks, plays, and his pants are always falling down. Sometimes he wears a belt, and when he does its a belt he (and sometimes I) can't operate...and he usually has taken it off by noon.

I know he doesn't have many clothes that fit, so I don't see how saying "can you make sure C's clothes fit and that he can manage them by himself" will work? Oh, and these are not hand-me-downs that are a little too big, they were bought intentionally that size.

How can I approach it? I told DCD that his belt didn't work today, but he kinda blew me off.

[jen]

I would either have a frank talk with Mom and Dad to let them know that these outfits are inappropriate for care and why OR I would pick up a couple of pair of sweats and t's and change his clothes everday.

[Hunni Bee]

I would either have a frank talk with Mom and Dad to let them know that these outfits are inappropriate for care and why OR I would pick up a couple of pair of sweats and t's and change his clothes everday.

I was thinking thats what I might end up doing (the change of clothes)...Im sure I have some sweats in the back-up box, and he can just change everyday...it will be no more time consuming than readjusting his belt every ten minutes.

Thanks

[laundrymom]

I would tell parent his pants fall down all day long and we need some play clothes he can play in.

[cheerfuldom]

I would tell the parents that I will be changing him into play clothes unless they can send some appropriate play clothes. either way, the problem is solved for you.

[Unregistered]

change your policy in writing

I would change your policy in writing to all of the parents, since it seems these particular parents are blowing you off. Make sure you send every kid home if they come wearing unacceptable clothes. This includes wearing short sleeves and shorts when it's 40 degrees outside (yes I've seen this as well). I would also ask this particular child up front how he feels about having to pull up his pants constantly, hard for him to walk & run, etc and I would have a conference with these parents explaining it to them - I'm sure this kid hates what his parents are dressing him in. Document the conference with parents. Parents will get the hint when you refuse to take their child for inappropriate dress. Sounds like you're probably going to have term this kid due to the parents not complying, but I'd at least give it a try to see if they'll comply. Yes, parents really are this stupid when it comes to dress codes - I've seen it all over the years.

In most cases, the kids are learning from their parents on how to dress, not actually giving them a choice.

In our actual public school district, "sagging" (droopy pants), underwear showing over the pant waist band, oversized shirts, daisy dukes (short shorts), spaghetti strap tanks, sandals (on gym days), etc are banned and the teachers enforce this - they are sent home immediately if their dress isn't up to policy. The sagging ban is because of pants being pulled down, undies being shown and #1 because kids cannot adequately particapate in gym class or during recess or otherwise because their clothes get in the way. Obviously, kids can't run in flip flops either, but yet parents still send their kids with flip flops every day in summer.

It's too bad that these parents didn't pay attention to the recent "stop sagging" campaign that celebrities did. It was VERY informative on the cons of this dress practice.

[PitterPatter]

I have a 3yo boy who every day wears oversized "hip-hop" clothing. Shirt-tails that reach his knees, shorts that reach his ankles, pants that never fit his waist. Its affects how he walks, plays, and his pants are always falling down. Sometimes he wears a belt, and when he does its a belt he (and sometimes I) can't operate...and he usually has taken it off by noon.

I know he doesn't have many clothes that fit, so I don't see how saying "can you make sure C's clothes fit and that he can manage them by himself" will work? Oh, and these are not hand-me-downs that are a little too big, they were bought intentionally that size.

How can I approach it? I told DCD that his belt didn't work today, but he kinda blew me off.

I feel for you!!! My advise is take the safety route. Use it as the excuse! I had a child like that last year and oh my what a headache it was! Even his shoes didn't fit 1 time because the DCD wanted him to have the "hottest bling thing" they were Nikes that cost $135 (KIDS shoes??? AND a subs family... you do the math) They didn't come in his size so the dad bought 2 sizes up and said he will grow into them. This poor kid literally looked like a clown with baggy clothing hanging and floppy shoes! HOW can any parent not see how silly that looks let alone how dangerous! So that was MY avenue I took.

I told DCD that we run and play a lot and in order for his son to be safe he MUST wear better fitting clothing and shoes that fit. I pointed out of he falls he may scuff the new shoes. (DCD was anal about the kid keeping his shoes spotless and shiny!) The next day he showed up with his old Nikes on but then had a HUGE dollar sign necklace hanging to his crotch! I assume it was DCDs. I told the kid to give it to daddy so he could play comfortably and DCD said no he's fine let him wear it. Entering us into another battle of "Ghetto Fab Drama!"

[Zoe]

I feel for you!!! My advise is take the safety route. Use it as the excuse! I had a child like that last year and oh my what a headache it was! Even his shoes didn't fit 1 time because the DCD wanted him to have the "hottest bling thing" they were Nikes that cost $135 (KIDS shoes??? AND a subs family... you do the math) They didn't come in his size so the dad bought 2 sizes up and said he will grow into them. This poor kid literally looked like a clown with baggy clothing hanging and floppy shoes! HOW can any parent not see how silly that looks let alone how dangerous! So that was MY avenue I took.

I told DCD that we run and play a lot and in order for his son to be safe he MUST wear better fitting clothing and shoes that fit. I pointed out of he falls he may scuff the new shoes. (DCD was anal about the kid keeping his shoes spotless and shiny!) The next day he showed up with his old Nikes on but then had a HUGE dollar sign necklace hanging to his crotch! I assume it was DCDs. I told the kid to give it to daddy so he could play comfortably and DCD said no he's fine let him wear it. Entering us into another battle of "Ghetto Fab Drama!"

Wow. That's pretty ridiculous. Really parents?! You'd rather have your kid looking fabulous than letting them be a kid and run around?!? Nice.

[Unregistered]

necklaces are hanging hazard

I feel for you!!! My advise is take the safety route. Use it as the excuse! I had a child like that last year and oh my what a headache it was! Even his shoes didn't fit 1 time because the DCD wanted him to have the "hottest bling thing" they were Nikes that cost $135 (KIDS shoes??? AND a subs family... you do the math) They didn't come in his size so the dad bought 2 sizes up and said he will grow into them. This poor kid literally looked like a clown with baggy clothing hanging and floppy shoes! HOW can any parent not see how silly that looks let alone how dangerous! So that was MY avenue I took.

I told DCD that we run and play a lot and in order for his son to be safe he MUST wear better fitting clothing and shoes that fit. I pointed out of he falls he may scuff the new shoes. (DCD was anal about the kid keeping his shoes spotless and shiny!) The next day he showed up with his old Nikes on but then had a HUGE dollar sign necklace hanging to his crotch! I assume it was DCDs. I told the kid to give it to daddy so he could play comfortably and DCD said no he's fine let him wear it. Entering us into another battle of "Ghetto Fab Drama!"

Necklaces are a hanging hazard and daycares in our area do not allow them. I can't even believe that anyone is actually allowed to breed without a prescreening.

[kimsdaycare]

Pretty sad that parents desire for having the most fashionable kid in daycare ends up like this

Warn them to provide suitable playclothes of their choice.....

or ignore you and have little Johnny sport some playclothes of your choice...

They want unsafe but cool-looking kid, give them the exact opposite of that.

I would choose the most horrifyingly generic, no style cheap outfits I could get my hands on. DH is laughing right now and saying plaid-highwaters come to mind

I'd also be sure to take lots of pictures of the fun the kids are having each day and share with all the other parents. <--- This is where the peer pressure gets the result you need. They dress their kid like that to impress the other adults that see them, not the 3 year olds they hang with.

Highly likely they decide to invest a few bucks in some more appropriately fitting duds for the kiddo so they can keep him out of your lovely safety gear

[PitterPatter]

Pretty sad that parents desire for having the most fashionable kid in daycare ends up like this

Warn them to provide suitable playclothes of their choice.....

or ignore you and have little Johnny sport some playclothes of your choice...

They want unsafe but cool-looking kid, give them the exact opposite of that.

I would choose the most horrifyingly generic, no style cheap outfits I could get my hands on. DH is laughing right now and saying plaid-highwaters come to mind

I'd also be sure to take lots of pictures of the fun the kids are having each day and share with all the other parents. <--- This is where the peer pressure gets the result you need. They dress their kid like that to impress the other adults that see them, not the 3 year olds they hang with.
Highly likely they decide to invest a few bucks in some more appropriately fitting duds for the kiddo so they can keep him out of your lovely safety gear

EXACTLY!! DCD has 2 gold caps on his teeth too! I was waiting for DCB to show up with them 1 day! ::

What's funny is I was never impressed! I would actually have to hold back my giggles when i saw some of DCD and DCMs bling outfits!

[daycare]

Pretty sad that parents desire for having the most fashionable kid in daycare ends up like this

Warn them to provide suitable playclothes of their choice.....

or ignore you and have little Johnny sport some playclothes of your choice...

They want unsafe but cool-looking kid, give them the exact opposite of that.

I would choose the most horrifyingly generic, no style cheap outfits I could get my hands on. DH is laughing right now and saying plaid-highwaters come to mind

I'd also be sure to take lots of pictures of the fun the kids are having each day and share with all the other parents. <--- This is where the peer pressure gets the result you need. They dress their kid like that to impress the other adults that see them, not the 3 year olds they hang with.

Highly likely they decide to invest a few bucks in some more appropriately fitting duds for the kiddo so they can keep him out of your lovely safety gear

The way that I see this is a cultural thing. Many cultures dress this way and know no different. I won’t go into detail as to why they do it, but leave it at that. If I were you I would approach this with caution and just simply tell them....

Johnny is having a hard time playing safely with the shorts that he wears as they cause him from being able to_________________. Or word it the other way around.
If they don't respond, I would then just go out and get him some cheap pants from a yard sale and have him throw them on so he can play without the worry of his pants falling down and tripping him (etc)

I have had to deal with children from all different background for many years while coaching and this is a style of clothing of some cultures....

[kimsdaycare]

The way that I see this is a cultural thing. Many cultures dress this way and know no different. I won’t go into detail as to why they do it, but leave it at that. If I were you I would approach this with caution and just simply tell them....

Johnny is having a hard time playing safely with the shorts that he wears as they cause him from being able to_________________. Or word it the other way around.
If they don't respond, I would then just go out and get him some cheap pants from a yard sale and have him throw them on so he can play without the worry of his pants falling down and tripping him (etc)

I have had to deal with children from all different background for many years while coaching and this is a style of clothing of some cultures....

I definitely see your point here regarding some types of clothing and culture, and not trying to offend at all I agree that the child is being dressed in a manner consistent with what the parents own choices and habits are. But, this isn't a slam on what they wish to wear or why - it is just about getting the parents for adjust the attire to fit the child's needs for the environment they are in. In this case it's a child who is brought to daycare in clothes that are stylish, but the particular style is ill-fitting and too large for active play. The provider has repeatedly pointed out to them that they need something different, but the parents are still insisting that their child dress a certain way. Yacht club parents may choose inappropriate fussy outfits that children know they are expected to keep clean, sports kids may try to wear baseball cleats or a little girl may come in daily wearing Hannah Montana high heel Go-Go boots. Cultural influence or not, if a parent ignores the request for appropriate attire, giving them the exact opposite of what they've been doing will usually get you a compromise somewhere in the middle. It sounds like this child is from fashion parents, you fight fashion with un-fashion. What you'll hopefully get is a kid wearing clothing the parents and you both approve of

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I have written in my contract that all kids need to be in play clothes. I state that we play outside daily, and my backyard has very little grass, its half grass half dirt, so when its wet, it gets muddy and dirty. And most of the crafts we do are messy. I state that if you send your kids in nice clothes, they will most likely get dirty or paint stained, so please dress your children in old clothing.

It never fails that the day the parents put on a nice new white tshirt, or pretty new pink dress we have spaghetti for lunch, and it gets ruined.

Parents eventually learn after a few dirty stained shirts that they need to put them in old clothes.

[nannyde]

I haven't had the hip hop clothes but I have had kids come in clothing that doesn't fit and requires adult involement to keep the clothing on and keep the child from being injured during normal play and outdoor activities.

I have had parents who just say the words that the clothing fits and that when they are at home and the child wears the clothing that they are safe and don't have any problems with having to adjust it.

I have found that it doesn't work to discuss it. It's best to just ask the parents for a full set of sweat clothes that stays here. I just change the child into the spare sweats or use the clothing I have here and just switch them back into the ill fitting clothes right before the kid leaves.

Can you ask the parents to supply clothing that just stays there?

Clothing policy:

Clothing: Parents are requested to send their child in comfortable and easy to manage clothing. Please do not send your child to day care in clothing that has many snaps. Outfits requiring you to remove the top in order to get to their diaper area are not acceptable as they are too time consuming for changes. Overalls are not acceptable for children being potty trained.

All children who are not potty trained must wear onesie undershirts with secure snaps. Babies wearing footie jammies or outfits must have a pair of socks on also. All children must wear socks or slippers that the child can not remove or do not easily come off during clothing changes. We recommend Robeez brand slippers and can assist you in finding a pair for your child at a reasonable cost. If a child removes their socks during play time we will not hunt for them. We will return them when we come upon them. For sanitary reasons, we do not allow staff or children to go barefooted in the house or wear just a diaper in the day care.

We keep the house cool in the summer and fairly cool in the winter. (Nan is hot blooded) Feel free to overdress your child. We can always remove layers to make your child comfortable. Dress your child for the coldest part of the day and we will take it from there.

No hats, barrettes, jewelry, watches, belts, or clothing with strings attached. We do not allow hoodies with strings or jackets with strings. No indoor wear hoodies at any time for any age child. Children may have hoodies for outerwear for outside only (outside spring and fall jackets). They can't wear them inside the house. Any bottoms with drawstrings are not allowed.

We need three spare complete head to toe outfits for the kids under two and two outfits for the kids over the age of two. We will pass them back as the children outgrow them.