Advice please! Constant crying!!

[blessedmess8]

OK, I've been in child care a while now, having spent the majority of my experience in a large, 3 star tribal facility. I've had countless trainings, have my degree in Early Childhood, and I know all the rote answers to dealing with crying. However, I just started a child care home 2 years ago and I've discovered that is a whole new ballgame!

I have a 10 month old who I have had since he was 8 weeks old. For about 5 months I've been dealing with his almost constant crying (actually SCREAMING usually!), in hopes that it would get better. It has not. Basically if I'm not holding him, he cries the majority of the day. And, with 5 other kids in my care, I just can't devote an entire day to him!! When he was younger I strapped him to me so he'd be okay, but he is just too big now! It is so bad that if he isn't crying the oyher kids say: "Hey! <Child's name> is happy!" I know we are bonded. He never cries when he is dropped off....

He has had bad diarrhea for a few weeks now. His mom has taken him to the Dr twice. The first time they said it was a virus and put him on Soy formula, then the 2nd time they switched him back. That's all they've done for him. He was gone yesterday and it occured to me that I actually enjoyed myself and all the other kids were so much calmer. And I thought, "Wow! As much as his crying wears on MY nerves, it has to wear on their's, too!" I just don't think I can keep doing this! I feel like I can't meet his needs and this is not fair to the other kids. And, it is to the point where I just almost resent him and that isn't fair to him or his parents!

I can't stand the thought of letting him go. I do love him. But, I'm just one person here and I just feel defeated! Has anyone dealt with a situation like this?? I need advice!!

[lpperry]

What time are his naps and how long does he sleep? In my experience, infants who cry/scream all day are usually tired because they don't sleep enough.

[Michael]

Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I upgraded your status.

[cheerfuldom]

You know, you sound like you have a lot of experience and are a very dedicated provider. I think you know the answer to this question. For some kids, babywearing is perfect and gets them through that infant stage happily but for others, its really not a good idea because it just prolongs a situation that you cannot do indefinitely. I have been in your exact situation several times. You love this little kid, you love the family, you love your job so you want to be able to solve this problem and you feel that a little more time maybe might change things. HOWEVER, you have to consider that it is not just about you and this one kid. Your other children and daycare children are right there through all this and for them, the best decision is to let this cryer go permanently. You can't be the perfect provider for every kid and there is nothing wrong with saying that this situation is not in anyone's best interest. Let him go, love your job again, provide a peaceful environment for your other kids again.

[blessedmess8]

What time are his naps and how long does he sleep? In my experience, infants who cry/scream all day are usually tired because they don't sleep enough.

I always follow my infant's leads. I don't put them on any kind of schedule until they are older, as far as napping and eating. He sleeps about 30 minutes in the morning, then usually takes a 2 hour nap later. I truly think he has food allergies.

[blessedmess8]

You know, you sound like you have a lot of experience and are a very dedicated provider. I think you know the answer to this question. For some kids, babywearing is perfect and gets them through that infant stage happily but for others, its really not a good idea because it just prolongs a situation that you cannot do indefinitely. I have been in your exact situation several times. You love this little kid, you love the family, you love your job so you want to be able to solve this problem and you feel that a little more time maybe might change things. HOWEVER, you have to consider that it is not just about you and this one kid. Your other children and daycare children are right there through all this and for them, the best decision is to let this cryer go permanently. You can't be the perfect provider for every kid and there is nothing wrong with saying that this situation is not in anyone's best interest. Let him go, love your job again, provide a peaceful environment for your other kids again.

I know you are right. It is my own opinion that he has food allergies and he needs further medical intervention. But, as a provider, all I can do is suggest or bring to light symptoms I see. I am considering meeting with Mom and telling her I'll give her a few weeks - maybe time to figure out if there is something medically wrong - but that I just can't keep doing this if something doesn't change. I've just never been in this situation with a prent! Definitely new territory!!

[cheerfuldom]

well we do differ in that at about 4 months, I put all my daycare kids on a schedule. all my kids under 1 year old sleep significantly more than what this little guy is sleeping. but anyway, I think that a meeting with mom is a good idea and will help you feel that you did everything you could to try and make it work.

[blessedmess8]

well we do differ in that at about 4 months, I put all my daycare kids on a schedule. all my kids under 1 year old sleep significantly more than what this little guy is sleeping. but anyway, I think that a meeting with mom is a good idea and will help you feel that you did everything you could to try and make it work.

As a baby he used to sleep a LOT more than he does now I don't mean that my infants have NO schedule. I just meant that I kind of let them set it I don't make them stay up until nap time and if they are tired at a time that isn't their usual nap time, I put them down. So, he has plenty of opportunity to sleep whenever he needs to, but he doesn't as often as other infants. Again, possibly an upset belly??

[mismatchedsocks]

He could be screaming because he was used to you holding him on you all day. He still wants that. What if he is in room, and your foot was touching him? I know it sounds silly, but i had a baby whom i didnt have to hold but had to look at for her not to be upset. Found that if my foot was near her she was fine, then i moved her a little back from me slowly and surely she weaned off the need for attention. She is about 13 months now and it started about 6 months.

It could be his tummy, try putting him in bouncer on tummy with vibrator on, see if that helps. or lay him on floor ( not holding him ) and rub his tummy.

My babies that age sleep at least 2 naps at 2 hours each. I usually keep them up from morning nap until the older kids nap then lay them down. To help transistion,

Good luck!

[blessedmess8]

He could be screaming because he was used to you holding him on you all day. He still wants that. What if he is in room, and your foot was touching him? I know it sounds silly, but i had a baby whom i didnt have to hold but had to look at for her not to be upset. Found that if my foot was near her she was fine, then i moved her a little back from me slowly and surely she weaned off the need for attention. She is about 13 months now and it started about 6 months.

It could be his tummy, try putting him in bouncer on tummy with vibrator on, see if that helps. or lay him on floor ( not holding him ) and rub his tummy.

My babies that age sleep at least 2 naps at 2 hours each. I usually keep them up from morning nap until the older kids nap then lay them down. To help transistion,

Good luck!

Thank you. The "slow wean" may be an option I haven't really considered. I'm also wondering if I should try putting him down in a separate room for his am nap. Maybe noises are waking him? Because he usually is pretty cheerful in the afternoons. ??

[wdmmom]

It sounds as if I could have written this post.

I too have a 11 month old that cries often. Typically if he's not being held or touching me somehow.

I tell DCM all the time that he cried a lot but the reaction I get is, "Well at home he doesn't." Probably because DCM & DCD pick him up because they don't want to listen to it.

I would get DCB on a strict schedule immediately. Does he spit up at all? What if you eliminated grains from his diet for a week or so to see if he was a happier baby? If babies have a sensitive stomach or a food allergy, especially at a young age, it's usually triggered by some form of grain...(rice, wheat, noodles, oatmeal, etc.)

Try feeding him just a fruit and/or a vegetable. No dinners that contain rice, noodles, corn, etc. and see how he does.

If you aren't getting any results after a month, I would presume you have a rage baby on your hands.

[blessedmess8]

It sounds as if I could have written this post.

I too have a 11 month old that cries often. Typically if he's not being held or touching me somehow.

I tell DCM all the time that he cried a lot but the reaction I get is, "Well at home he doesn't." Probably because DCM & DCD pick him up because they don't want to listen to it.

I would get DCB on a strict schedule immediately. Does he spit up at all? What if you eliminated grains from his diet for a week or so to see if he was a happier baby? If babies have a sensitive stomach or a food allergy, especially at a young age, it's usually triggered by some form of grain...(rice, wheat, noodles, oatmeal, etc.)

Try feeding him just a fruit and/or a vegetable. No dinners that contain rice, noodles, corn, etc. and see how he does.
U
If you aren't getting any results after a month, I would presume you have a rage baby on your hands.

.

You think a schedule will help him? Maybe he's the kind of child who has to have that? He usually eats meals the same time as everyone else. But, maybe I can get more strict with his napping. I tried to cut back his diet, but if they don't do it at home, too, then there's not much I can do. The soy formula is better than the other. He's always spit up, but does so less with the soy.

[cheerfuldom]

yeah I would definitely get him napping better and see what that resolves. napping in his own area on a consistent routine would be the best plan in my opinion. for his age, I would do a 2 hour nap in the morning and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. some of my kids under one do even more than that.