Biting

[SandeeAR]

Do you consider biting a learned behavior?

My 21 mo, and 17 mo have NEVER biten. The 13 mo old, reached out and grabbed the hand of the 17 mo and bit it today, before I could stop him. She was just standing by him. Nothing was going on, no toy fight etc.

The only time I've ever had a biter was the 13 mo old's older sister. She was about 2 at the time. Only did it twice and I came down hard on her and she never did it again. She hasn't been her in 6 months.

[SandeeAR]

Folks, PLEASE comment. 8 people have looked in the last 15 min and no comments.

I want to talk to the parent at pick up.

I just want to know if you consider biting a "learned" behavior or not.

[mismatchedsocks]

Probably teething, or just seeing what will happen. Ages 9 months to about age 2 I notice they are making noises with cheeks, biting on things more, drooling, learning about sounds.

I would say "we dont bite" then remove from situation and give a toy she can bite on. Show her we bite this, not our friends.

[SandeeAR]

Probably teething, or just seeing what will happen. Ages 9 months to about age 2 I notice they are making noises with cheeks, biting on things more, drooling, learning about sounds.

I would say "we dont bite" then remove from situation and give a toy she can bite on. Show her we bite this, not our friends.

So you don't consider it a learned behavior?? When you know the older sisters bite?

[mismatchedsocks]

It "could" be, like trying what she saw sister do. You could ask mom if sister still bites, at home and that could be it. Maybe if the child was over age 13 months I would say yes totally that is it. Hope she never does it again!

[SandeeAR]

Thanks for the replies. The biter is a he, btw.

[sharlan]

I think biting CAN be a learned behaviour, but not necessesarily (SP).

My 15 yo was a horrible biter. My 17 yo that comes to visit still has scars on her chest and her hip from her. The 15 yo was my first biter in 12 yrs. After I got rid of one family, her other favorite victim, she completely stopped the biting.

My 5 yo bit the 4 yo a few times when they were babies, but it didn't last long.

Both boys were/are bad biters. The 4 yo has grown out of it, but I can see it in the 3 yo's eyes every now and then. He wants to, but I can usually catch him in time.

I did everything short of duct taping their little mouths to stop the biting, but didn't find anything other than constant supervision that worked for me.

In nearly 30 yrs, my only biters were my grandkids.

[mom2many]

I have known some kids that have gotten bitten to use biting as a recourse themselves. This is usually out of frustration or anger and not being able to communicate.

It can also be something as pp mentioned having to do with teething too.

Sometimes I've had a dck bite for no apparent reason though and just out of the blue they do it. At this age they like to put everything in their mouth and bite on things. I don't think they realize they are hurting someone.

Good luck!

[nannyde]

I don't have biting here. I haven't had a bite in 17 years.

I think it's a product of escalation... a release of pent up energy... a sign of overwhelmededness (yeah I made that up) that is often (not always) in an atmosphere of distracted or absent supervision.

I keep everything calm. I watch for pre-biting behaviors and nip them at the root. I don't allow escalation that isn't guided up and down. It has boundaries to it and when it does happen it's predictable and metered.

I don't think it has anything to do with teething or lack of communication.

[mom2many]

I don't have biting here. I haven't had a bite in 17 years.

I think it's a product of escalation... a release of pent up energy... a sign of overwhelmededness (yeah I made that up) that is often (not always) in an atmosphere of distracted or absent supervision.

I keep everything calm. I watch for pre-biting behaviors and nip them at the root. I don't allow escalation that isn't guided up and down. It has boundaries to it and when it does happen it's predictable and metered.

I don't think it has anything to do with teething or lack of communication.

Everyone has their opinion but the research I found stated the following:
For infants, developmental theorists suggest that biting is probably a form of exploration--infants use their mouths to explore because it is one of the most developed parts of their bodies. Biting in infants may also be a primitive form of communication; it is likely that the infant does not connect biting to pain experienced by others (Claffey, Kucharski, & Gratz, 1994; Marlowe, 1999; Oesterreich, 1995). Infants also are impulsive and lack self-control; some babies may bite simply because something is there to bite; others bite when they are excited or over-stimulated (e.g., music stimulates the infant, who then bites because he or she is so happy and excited) (Greenman & Stonehouse, 1994). Thus, the literature concludes that infants bite because they want to smell and touch objects, experiment with cause and effect, or relieve teething pain (the National Association for the Education of Young Children [NAEYC, 1996] suggests offering infants who are teething chew toys, frozen bagels, or other safe items--see http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/c...ers.p.t.4.html).

[SandeeAR]

I don't have biting here. I haven't had a bite in 17 years.

I think it's a product of escalation... a release of pent up energy... a sign of overwhelmededness (yeah I made that up) that is often (not always) in an atmosphere of distracted or absent supervision.

I keep everything calm. I watch for pre-biting behaviors and nip them at the root. I don't allow escalation that isn't guided up and down. It has boundaries to it and when it does happen it's predictable and metered.

I don't think it has anything to do with teething or lack of communication.

Well, I was sitting 3 feet in front of him, looking right at him when he did it, so he was under CLOSE supervision. NOTHING was going on, no "escalation". He was sitting on the floor, and she had just walked up and stopped there. They had just been calmly playing all morning. My house is always calm. I keep a tight rein myself.

He took her hand and put it in his mouth and bit before I could stop it.

Dad picked him up today instead of Mom. I mentioned it to Dad and told him I needed their help at home, as I couldn't have a bitter. (I have one 4 mo old and another coming this fall). Dad, sort of shook his head and said, yeah, he has been doing that at home. I just bite him back. Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh!

[mom2many]

Well, I was sitting 3 feet in front of him, looking right at him when he did it, so he was under CLOSE supervision. NOTHING was going on, no "escalation". He was sitting on the floor, and she had just walked up and stopped there. They had just been calmly playing all morning. My house is always calm. I keep a tight rein myself.

He took her hand and put it in his mouth and bit before I could stop it.

Dad picked him up today instead of Mom. I mentioned it to Dad and told him I needed their help at home, as I couldn't have a bitter. (I have one 4 mo old and another coming this fall). Dad, sort of shook his head and said, yeah, he has been doing that at home. I just bite him back. Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh!

It can happen just like you stated....nothing going on to warrant it and no warning signs! I posted a website on my pp that might help you with this.

[nannyde]

Well, I was sitting 3 feet in front of him, looking right at him when he did it, so he was under CLOSE supervision. NOTHING was going on, no "escalation". He was sitting on the floor, and she had just walked up and stopped there. They had just been calmly playing all morning. My house is always calm. I keep a tight rein myself.

He took her hand and put it in his mouth and bit before I could stop it.

Dad picked him up today instead of Mom. I mentioned it to Dad and told him I needed their help at home, as I couldn't have a bitter. (I have one 4 mo old and another coming this fall). Dad, sort of shook his head and said, yeah, he has been doing that at home. I just bite him back. Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh!

Well there goes my theory. ::

I don't have much to offer with biting. My experience is completely different than the research and child development theories. I don't have biting with teething kids or kids who can't communicate. I don't have it with excited kids or kids who are exploring.

I just don't have it with ANY of the situations where the experts say it is normal. After raising generations of kids year after year.. I just don't see it at all in my population. For something that is SO normal.... I go year after year without a single incident.

It's a hard subject to discuss because it ALWAYS comes down to "it's normal" and the solution for serial biting is always more adult. IRL, the parents who have the kid who is bitten don't care a lick if it's normal or not and most providers don't have the resources to do the "more adult" to solve it.

So it's a never ending discussion with no real solutions or explanations.

Wish I could offer more but on this subject I just don't have anything to offer.

[SandeeAR]

I don't consider it "normal". I really think it is a learned behavior. That is why I ask if anyone else considered it "learned behavior".

I KNOW his older sisters have done it in the past, and I'm pretty sure they still do it. The parents don't really "see" some of the things their kids are doing.

I think he has been bitten by one or both of his sisters and that is where he learned to do it.

[cheerfuldom]

I think its normal for a kid to try this for whatever reason but that doesn't mean that you have to tolerate it or have to be okay with it. The only thing I have ever heard is to try and figure out the kids "triggers" to avoid, shadow them and make sure they know this is not tolerated whatsoever. Either you have the time and patience to do that or you don't. I wouldn't consider a bite or even two to be that alarming but by 3 purposeful bites, its clearly becoming a habit and something you have to address. Be prepared for the parents of the biter to not care at all or not care enough to do anything about it. Its basically your problem. There is a rare parent out there who will really work together to overcome this but since sister was a biter for awhile (thats what I am reading from your post) sounds like the parents don't know what to do or just don't do anything period. I think a kid that is not verbal or that is easily frustrated CAN learn to control themselves and restrain from biting, you don't have to wait till they grow older to address it.