Is This Normal?

[KDC]

I have a couple of questions to see if it's 'normal' to expect these scenarios in a home daycare setting... I'd like approach the topic with my families, but fear this might just be what I signed up for.

I have a full service licensed daycare and care for children 6 and under. Here are my questions...

1. 18 month old child often reaches into his pants and pulls out his #2 to smear everywhere. Parents 'warned' me of this and gave me extra onsies, however, they bring him to my house without wearing one. This is highly unsanitary. I would like to make it clear the child is not to come to my house without a onsie on until he's older and no longer does this. This is a reasonable request, right?

2. I have a 2 yr. old whose parents insist I comb and put her hair up when she arrives at my day care. Hands over the rubber bands upon arrival. I have to work out her knots (fun when she's unwilling) and put her hair up. Isn't this supposed to happen before she gets to my house?

3. Brushing a 2 yr. olds teeth when they get here. Again, shouldn't this be done before hand. She informed me he chews on it, so I really need to get in there to scrub. The time to do this really takes away from everyone else. They all want to know where their toothbrush is.

4. Screen time. I have 1.5 hours of 'screen' time in a 9 hour day typically. The TV is on in the morning as the children arrive, and is turned off during breakfast and promptly off at 9am. However I have a 6 yr. old son that earns extra wii/dsi time for good behavior at school. I have him in another room away from the daycare kids, however one of the parents insists I hold off until after hours to have my son have his earned time because it's 'unfair' to her child. Also, her child is 4 an cannot watch any Disney movies because they are too scary. Phineas and Ferb are too grown up for him, and leapsters are considered screen time that's unacceptable. He's allowed to watch Mickey Mouse, which the other kids are sick of, but his parents insist this is the only age appropriate show for him to watch. I'm feeling as though I'm being judged for my decisions with my child, and forced to conform my daycare around their decisions.


Please let me know if I'm just being whiny, or if you feel these are something legitimate.

[GotKids]

1. I would have the parents provide back up onesies for you house. I often change kids upon arrival because I don't trust the diaper they come in.

2. I would tell mom that she needs have her hair brushed before she arrives. If she arrives without it done I would have cheap barrettes that I would pull the hair out her face with.

3. . We brush after meals here. It is also normal to have a 2 year old chew on the tooth brush. I would encourage mom to continue practicing with him at home too.

4. I don't have screen time here but if a child has an agreement with a parent about a privilege it needs to be carried out by the parent not by me. The other children would not understand one child being able to do something they weren't allowed to do.

I hate to say it but it sounds like your parents are walking all over you. You can be a great provider and still give parents limits. Don't be afraid to say NO.

[Kaddidle Care]

Sounds to me like you are being walked all over. Now it's a bad habit for all cases because you've let them do it. Rope 'em in girl!

I've never dealt with a child that plays with poo although a friend with autistic twins find painting with it great fun.

I have never HAD to deal with a child's hair unless I was looking for bugs in it. I've been known to put it up on girls if it is very long and they are wild cutters.

Never had to brush a Daycare child's teeth - that's Mommy/Daddy work.

The parent telling you what to do or not to do with your son would be the first one I'd be showing the door to.
I agree with the age appropriate movies but if your son is in another room playing his games - hopefully out of eyeshot of the DC children then there's nothing wrong. Now if your son is playing Halo and the DC children can see it from the room they're in, that's another story.

[mismatchedsocks]

1. I would check the child upon arrival and say Whooopps you must have forgot a onesie this morning,lets get one put on him right away. Hint hint.

2&3. Send a reminder home with ALL parents. Stress their children need to have hair brushed and teeth brushed before daycare ( unless this is a service that you offer upon sign up, like teeth brushing after lunch or whatever). When mom tries to hand you tooth brush or hair brush dont take it, tell them they can do if they want you are busy.

4. I will turn on tv maybe for kids 1/2 hour a day. I do have older kids so they can play wii, or watch shows at nap time. We do not watch Phineas and Ferb with daycare kids ( can your own kids watch at nap time, or in other room) BUT i would not just show what she wants. If she only watches Mickey, tell her other shows that will be on at that time but you can give her child a puzzle if she would like.

Good luck!

[godiva83]

I think it depends on YOU or the particular provider.

In my care I am not responsible for basic parenting- I feel it is important for the parents to play a parenting role and do it to the best of their abilities. This would include preparing their child for his or her day at daycare. I would 100% expect a child to come with brushed teeth, hair, and appropriate clothing for the day ( if you say he needs a onsie, he comes in one) However, I do lend a hand in these areas if the parents have a reasonable excuse for not being able to do this- early morning meeting, not feeling well, starting new job ect..

As for T.V, I don't feel it is needed to fill the day - but I have little ones (1.5-2) so maybe it is for School agers. I wouldn't have the TV on in the main play area, but your son should be able to watch if that what you allow

[MyAngels]

1. I would not allow the child into care until I checked to see if his onesie was in place. I would not tolerate the whole poop smearing thing for very long at all.

2. The only way I would do a child's hair is if I wanted to do it, which I would not typically.

3. We brush teeth after meals here, but I would not do it first thing in the morning because the parents are too lazy.

4. It is my decision what is and is not allowed as far as the television goes here. If the parents are in disagreement with it, they are welcome to find a provider who shares their feelings. I never allowed daycare parents to have any say in what my own children did or did not do in our home, even during daycare hours. They either trust my decisions or they don't. If they don't, they should be looking for another provider.

[mom2many]

First off I could never handle the #2 thing! I would totally insist on the onsies as well and feel that is a completely reasonable request!

I've never had a parent expect me to comb and style a child's hair. I will fix it after nap, but they come with it combed in the morning.

I've had SA come with tooth brushes, but a younger child needs to have that done at home before they arrive in the morning. I feel that is expecting a lot to want you to do that.

I would have a difficult time having a parent dictate to me when my own child could or couldn't do something. I would also find it difficult if a parent was setting such limited guidelines on what shows the children could watch. I'm super conscientious about what I let the dcks watch, but to be this restrictive is something I'd be struggling with to. This family might not be a good fit for you and that's okay!

I find all of your issues to be totally legitimate.

[laundrymom]

Ok,... Ewww I would tell them onsie daily. Period. Or have them change it at dropoff.

I would not brush fix or do hair. Sorry I'm too busy.

I don't brush teeth. I feel that is part of my ,... Dressed and ready for the day.

To be quite honest it's none of their business what your child is getting to do. I dont care if he is eating cake for snack, riding ponies in your private back yard or skipping rocks at lake Michigan! As long as he is separate from day kids, and has permission then go for it. My child plays piano guitar trumpet and drums in a not daycare area. Do the parents have any right to tell me not to allow it ? oh no.

I have a couple of questions to see if it's 'normal' to expect these scenarios in a home daycare setting... I'd like approach the topic with my families, but fear this might just be what I signed up for.

I have a full service licensed daycare and care for children 6 and under. Here are my questions...

1. 18 month old child often reaches into his pants and pulls out his #2 to smear everywhere. Parents 'warned' me of this and gave me extra onsies, however, they bring him to my house without wearing one. This is highly unsanitary. I would like to make it clear the child is not to come to my house without a onsie on until he's older and no longer does this. This is a reasonable request, right?

2. I have a 2 yr. old whose parents insist I comb and put her hair up when she arrives at my day care. Hands over the rubber bands upon arrival. I have to work out her knots (fun when she's unwilling) and put her hair up. Isn't this supposed to happen before she gets to my house?

3. Brushing a 2 yr. olds teeth when they get here. Again, shouldn't this be done before hand. She informed me he chews on it, so I really need to get in there to scrub. The time to do this really takes away from everyone else. They all want to know where their toothbrush is.

4. Screen time. I have 1.5 hours of 'screen' time in a 9 hour day typically. The TV is on in the morning as the children arrive, and is turned off during breakfast and promptly off at 9am. However I have a 6 yr. old son that earns extra wii/dsi time for good behavior at school. I have him in another room away from the daycare kids, however one of the parents insists I hold off until after hours to have my son have his earned time because it's 'unfair' to her child. Also, her child is 4 an cannot watch any Disney movies because they are too scary. Phineas and Ferb are too grown up for him, and leapsters are considered screen time that's unacceptable. He's allowed to watch Mickey Mouse, which the other kids are sick of, but his parents insist this is the only age appropriate show for him to watch. I'm feeling as though I'm being judged for my decisions with my child, and forced to conform my daycare around their decisions.


Please let me know if I'm just being whiny, or if you feel these are something legitimate.

[SandeeAR]

As for the #2 grabbing kid. Buy a pair of footed pjs. Cut the feet out. Put them on over his clothes backwards. End of problem.

I don't do hair or teeth. That's a parents job.

Parents don't dictate what is on tv here. I do. Don't like, it find new care.

[KDC]

Thanks!

Thank you for taking the time to reply. This really helps, nice to find a place where people know what I'm going through & have had to work out similar situations.

[SimpleMom]

I would salso go ahead and just let them know the onsie is a must. In this case I would let them know it's kinda tough to do right at the start of the morning here and if they could please put it on them before arrival that would really help keep their child and the others safer for sanitary reasons.

Let them know that it's too hard to brush teeth right at arrival, but after breakfast might be a possiblility--if that's something you want to do.

The hair, maybe just pull it back and not comb it out, but let the parent's know it needs to be combed out and they need to be dressed and ready for the day at arrival.

I have let parent's bring their kids in pj's--hair combed, teeth brushed, potty trips at home before they get here. That's with prior approval and usually it's me that asks them if they want to and THAT is only if they arrive pretty early and I haven't very many kiddos right at that time.

Shows and Wii time: That's not their choice. I am pretty flexible and try to work with parent's, but if they have a problem and are telling me how it is--my flexibility ends there.

[sharlan]

You need to stand up and take control of your home.

#1 - I like the backwards pj idea, especially with winter and cooler days coming. Ask the parents to bring you a couple of pair that can be left, along with a couple of extra onesies.

#2 - not your job to fight with her to brush her hair. If she fights you, don't do it. IF YOU want to do her hair, have the parents bring you a bottle of "No More Tangles". I love it for little girls' hair. I always like doing the little girls' hair.

#3 - again, not your job. If this doesn't work in your setting, hand the toothbrush back and tell them to do it at home before and after daycare. You don't feed their child juice sugar all day long.

#4 - Since when do daycare parents dictate how you raise your child? Unless it has a direct impact on their child (hiting, biting, etc), what your child does in his/her own home is NONE of their business. It is UNFAIR to THEIR child that THEY work all day and he has to be in daycare. It is UNFAIR to YOUR child that THEY think that they can dictate his rules.

[mom2many]

To be quite honest it's none of their business what your child is getting to do. I dont care if he is eating cake for snack, riding ponies in your private back yard or skipping rocks at lake Michigan! As long as he is separate from day kids, and has permission then go for it. My child plays piano guitar trumpet and drums in a not daycare area. Do the parents have any right to tell me not to allow it ? oh no.

This made me chuckle! I couldn't agree more! ::

[JaydensMommy]

I don't think you should be doing any of that. The children should come prepared for the day. It is my responsibility to get my son dressed and brush his teeth and all of that. I would never expect someone else to do those things. And as for your son, you work from home so that you can be there with your children. This doesn't mean that your son has to do everything they do. I know that my son needs a break from the kids sometimes so I do let him watch tv for a little bit since I do not allow tv in my daycare. It is your child and none of your dcp's business what your child does.

[cheerfuldom]

Onesies on at arrival, no teeth brushing or hair combing period, you set your screen time for your program NOT a particular child. Make them aware of the changes but do not compromise and they can take it or leave it.