Biggest Mistake of My Career

[Unregistered]

Ok, so today I made the biggest mistake ever. I have a new mom that is very over protective. To where the child hasn't even started yet but she calls and text several times during the day because she is worried about the baby being scared or because she read something online about daycares. Anyways, I was getting really offended by her lack of trust and was honestly getting really annoyed. She is a acquaintance of a friend so I basically dealt with it for my friend, because I was going to tell her last week that this would not work out.

Well today I wanted to take the children on a field trip as I was low on numbers and it would be a nice treat since they were off from school. The mom did not want me to and called and was not so pleasant with me wanting to go. She even said herself she didn't mean to be
B*t(hy. So, I meant to send my co-worker a message saying that this mom was being a b*t(h and accidentally sent it to the mom. The mom came in crying and I just felt awful. I apologized and said it was wrong to do but I can't express enough how terrible I feel. Then to make things worse, her sister came to pick up the child and she began a confrontation with me witching me out. I told her it was a mistake and I didn't mean for it to happen and apologized but she just kept on going. I didn't feel it was appropriate behavior in front of the children and told her so but she kept on going. I didn't know what to do so I just shut the door in her face and she left.

It's no excuse for my behavior but this is MY business. They know how I run it before they start and I pay for all field trips so I don't expect someone to tell me I can't go. So I was angry about that and offended that she didn't trust me. Yes my issues, and I shouldn't have called her that for loving her child.

She wants to start over and forget it happened. She is a much more forgiving person than I, but I am grateful.

I feel like I have to keep apologizing though.

[Persephone]

OMG! That ****s big time! But hey, sh*t happens.

Was there a reason she didn't want you to go on a trip? How old is her child?

[Unregistered]

The baby is 3 months old. She didn't want me to go because she thought he would be scared. I tried to explain a 3 month old would not be scared and would either sleep or watch the children play. She then said she didn't like not knowing exactly where he is.

I tried telling her nicely that my other children were not going to suffer because she doesn't trust me. It's not fair that 7 children have to stay home because one parent is over protective. My co-worker was going as well and her child is 5 months. We went a couple of months ago when her child was 3 months, it was like we were still at home, no difference. We had the double stroller ready for the two of them. I personally didn't see the big deal.

[AfterSchoolMom]

Ouch. That's a tough one! Maybe it'd be better all around if you just went ahead and told the Mom that it isn't going to work out. That way you don't have to apologize any more! It sounds like this won't be the first drama you'll have to deal with when it comes to her.

[mac60]

Sorry that happened, but I don't feel texts belong in our business.

[Childminder]

Things happen for a reason. Maybe your subconscious is taking over and telling you this isn't going to work out. You apologized more than once, that's more than enough, stop beatin a dead horse.

I have had parents in childcare before that didn't want me taking their child off the property. I just tell them that if they are a member of my daycare then they are treated like one of the family and if I would go with my children somewhere then I will go with their child. If this isn't what they want then finding another daycare is their option.

[misol]

OUCH! It's nice that she wants to forgive and start over though. If the baby isn't giving you any trouble then I would give it another go and not terminate just yet. Let her know that you will not punish the other kids and cancel your field trips but on the days that she doesn't want him to go she will need to make alternate childcare arrangemements at her OWN expense.

[Unregistered]

Stop apologinzing, you were pushed into a corner by her behavior and no you shouldnt have sent that text or email BUT hopefully it was a wake up call for mom, personally no way would i keep her as a client,way to much drama from her and it will get worse, think ahead to the future when the baby starts crawling! good grief if he happened to get a scratch in your care watch out! Tell her that with her being so overprotective that you dont feel your business is the right fit and she should try a smaller group setting. Good Luck
Kiddiecare

[booroo]

OUCH! It's nice that she wants to forgive and start over though. If the baby isn't giving you any trouble then I would give it another go and not terminate just yet. Let her know that you will not punish the other kids and cancel your field trips but on the days that she doesn't want him to go she will need to make alternate childcare arrangemements at her OWN expense.

I agree with this. Make sure you tell her in advance field trip days and tell her that she has to pay you for the day/but also find alternate childcare for the day.
Also I have to agree that txts dont belong in business.

[Carole's Daycare]

OUCH! It's nice that she wants to forgive and start over though. If the baby isn't giving you any trouble then I would give it another go and not terminate just yet. Let her know that you will not punish the other kids and cancel your field trips but on the days that she doesn't want him to go she will need to make alternate childcare arrangemements at her OWN expense.

Thats a great solution. Other families expect and look forward to the outings. If this mom isn't comfortable with that yet... and, lets face it, new mom, 3 mo old newborn, new daycare that even you admit has barely even started- driving in winter- That baby is the most precious thing in her life. At least she shows it, unlike many moms out there. Maybe give her the option of not participating on those days, at her own cost, gradually as she sees your bond w/ her baby grow and spends more time etc she may outgrow some of that overprotectiveness. The whole text deal- big snafu- and you should definately be more careful. It will be harder now to establish that mutual respect that is needed with you calling her a %@#^& in the back of her mind.

[booroo]

I wanted to give you another way to look at...... I was a big pampered chef customer. I spend $100 a month or at parties. I just called my person to find outI when she had parties and stuff like that. Well one day she asked me to be a consultant. I was like well let me think about it. In the meantime she gave me the consultant box, I didnt want it, I told her I didnt want it. But she gave it to me anyway. She then tells me in an email a couple of days later that I needed to return the box to a town that was 90 miles away. I was like ummmmm well I dont know when I will get there next. that ok she said, just sometime. So in the mean time, she emails me about it everyday.
Finally I was like ya know, if you would host an uppercase living party for me in your area, then I could return the box and blah blah. SHe then replyed to me/and her upline person a very nasty email. When I got that. I told her that I no longer would be her customer, nor purhase pampered chef product. Guess what I havent, that been over a year. Im not willing to do business with a person that is willing to cut me behind my back, this is not high school. Pampered chef has lots a lot.

[gbcc]

Well, not an ideal situation, but accidents happen. You admitted you were wrong but it does sound like lack of trust on her part. In the future it would be more beneficial to just let the parent go instead of building up tension. I have let parents go before because we just don't click and I dont want to feel uncomfortable in my own home.

[Unregistered]

Misty

I also have let parents go as to not be uncomfortable in my own home......... Amen!

[Unregistered]

I agree

I can see both sides... and mind you, I've been providing child care for 18 years. Some parents would rather know that their kids are safe at the provider's home... no chance for a car accident. BUT if you told her before she started that you take occasional fieldtrips, she should have found other arrangements for either that particular day or for other child care completely.

I had a parent cuss me out years ago - in front of the other children - for NOT going through an ENTIRE BOX of diapers for her son in THREE DAYS!!!! (When I did the math, that would have been a diaper change for her 10 month old every FIFTEEN MINUTES!). She even brought a huge man for "protection" (I am 4'11''). I had to call the police to have them removed!

I agree with a previous poster. This relationship was sour prior to her even starting your daycare, it's not going to work out. You are going to be stressed every time she walks in the door which will create resentment and you need to love your job! I say, let her go.

Just my two cents.

[Daycare Mommy]

I had a parent cuss me out years ago - in front of the other children - for NOT going through an ENTIRE BOX of diapers for her son in THREE DAYS!!!! (When I did the math, that would have been a diaper change for her 10 month old every FIFTEEN MINUTES!). She even brought a huge man for "protection" (I am 4'11''). I had to call the police to have them removed!

Wow!! There are some crazies out there!!