Issues With My Kid

[Sunshine44]

while daycare parents are around. I'm having major issues with my child when the other parents are dropping off or picking up their kids. Some stay for a bit (I don't mind them being here for the small time frame), but while they are here, my child acts up and will not listen to me. It makes me embarrassed and look bad. My kid does not act like this when others are not around and I'm at a loss at what to do. I was hoping Nan or someone would have some experience or advice to share.

I feel I cannot truly discipline my child while the parents are here because I do not want them to think that is how I am with their child. With my own children I have to be very stern at times, with my daycare kids I can ask them once and they almost always do whatever it is I'm asking. Anyway, I don't know what to do. This is making me nuts lately.

[sharlan]

How old is your child?

[Sunshine44]

3 years old.

[CheekyChick]

If I were a parent at your daycare, I would want to see your son be disciplined. Otherwise, I might think you let him run wild all day. I would simply say, "Excuse me" and turn away from the parent and deal with your son. As far as your having to be more "harsh" with him. I would treat him exactly how you do your DCK's and let him suffer the consequences if he misbehaves.

[Sunshine44]

I'm a whole lot nicer to the dck's than my child. So, doing what I do with the daycare kids isn't going to cut it at all.

[Christian Mother]

Sunshine, I have a 4 yr daughter and this yr she's just become a little stinker. I tell my parents at interview time that I am very stricked not just with theirs but, more so with mine. I don't let them get a way with much.. but like you my daughter has started sassing me and acting up at pick up. So, I nip it in the bud right there and then. I turn to the parent and tell her I am sorry, but I need to discipline my daughter right now. She understands that and knows that it's time for her to take over care for her child so I can discipline mine and also keep a watch over any other child still in my care. Sometimes that's a clue that it's best the parent make a quick exit too.....I know that these parents want to see me nip it right there and then. It shows them that I don't let my daughter get away with that kind of behavior and that I am serious. It's what I would expect from the parents in the same regard. I have to show who's in charge at all times. It's a work in process. I am still working on it as well...and I understand feeling embarrassed..I feel the same way too. It's embarrassing to have your own child not act appropriately when the parents are here. Ahhh...I am there with ya!!

[Mom&Provider]

I could have written this post.

My son is 4 and also very demanding of my attention at pick-up/drop-off. Some days I am able to control him much better and others not so much. I've tried everything from keeping him in the other room with his sister (baby gate across the door so he can't come to the front room) to putting something on tv he wants to actually watch and I only put it on a few minutes before I am expecting parents to arrive. Other times I have no choice and do my best to make these times quick!!

I'm interested in what others say!

[Sunshine44]

Thank God it isn't just me!

I have tried the tv thing, but it doesn't last. I've tried having him do something he likes, he just forgets it and comes to bother me. I'm at my wits end today. I have five parents dropping off at different times (a few overlap a bit) and every single time I've had to deal with his antics. I really do not have many problems with him when the parents are not here, especially when kids are not here. It is something about mom's attention being elsewhere I guess. He is just now trying to get back into the swing of things from most of my kids being gone. Have one kid here all summer and now having five is a bit different I know, but it still can't happen like it has been.

I've wanted to run and hide. I vaquely remember Nan's post about making the child sit until they are told to get up, like a signal, even when dad comes home. But I am not sure how it works or if I could implement it effectively with my child.

[laundrymom]

I have said , excuse me for a moment, then walked child to kitchen table, handed them paper, pencil, and told them to draw me an apology picture for being rude. Then walked back and continued with my conversation.

[cheerfuldom]

I posted about a similar issue with my 3 year old and after a convo with nannyde, it changed big time. You need to decide what you want him to do during pickup and where he needs to be. Put him there before parents come to the door and he has to stay there anytime a parent is at the door. For us, we use the living room couch. My two girls have to go sit on the couch anytime someone comes in and this has eliminated the crazy rush to the door and the "look at me" attention getting antics. We also do this when daddy comes home. They wait on the couch until daddy is ready to hang out for awhile. This gives him a chance to come in and take his shoes off, etc. without the two of them crawling all over him and getting hyper. Now that we have done this for awhile, we don't have to send them to sit on the couch as often. They know that if they cannot chill out when parents enter, they have to sit so its working. The girls are 2 and 3 years old. Some other things that would help is to not let the parents hang out, make drop offs and pick ups quickly and streamline the schedule if you can so people aren't coming and going constantly.

[Stacy214]

My oldest (daycare child) is like this (going to be 3 next month) and he's been with me since he was an infant...so he started doing this when the other parents come PLUS he will be so mean toward the child whose parent is here (very embarrassing) so, what I have done is when I see the parent pull up, he goes and sits into a chair until they leave. I have given him numerous chances to behave and have informed him that when .....'s Mommy/Daddy come then you have to sit away from us until they leave because you don't know how to act while they are here. He completely understands...and so far it is working.

[Sunshine44]

Thanks for the replies. I may try something like the sitting at the table when they are here. One question for you though, what did your child do at first? I know my child and he will throw a fit if I try to put him in a chair. I do understand that it will probably stop after a few days of making him sit there, but I'm sure I will be running him back to his 'seat' while the parents are dropping off. Still causing an issue. What did you do for this? Did you have this issue?

[cheerfuldom]

yes they tried but I don't allow fits from my girls (the middle one especially tries this a lot). I direct them back with a firm voice and thats that. If he can't handle being in view than figure out another option. I know its weird how my kids are the toughest ones to handle here (I guess that is common for home providers) but I have realized that I am too easy on them. I really have changed a few things with my expectations for them and that has solved a lot of problems. He's 3 and too old to be carrying on like a wild thing in front of these daycare parents. He can behave better and you already know how to handle this because you do it on a daily basis with the other kids.

[Sunshine44]

Thank you. I just tried it when my husband came home from the office. As soon as he pulled in the drive I had him sit on the couch. I didn't tell him why though, it was just spur of the moment. He sat there until my husband came in, took his shoes off, put his bag down and came over to us. Hopefully it will be this easy on Monday.

[nannyde]

I've learned my lesson about giving any advice to providers about their own kids so I can't be too much help

This is a similiar thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...hlight=nannyde