Kinda Sad...

[Meeko]

.....as I was watching the children play today. They have really been into role playing.

I noticed that they were playing role playing games that included going to "the Mommy's house" or to "the Daddy's house". I realized that for all these kids, it's normal for parents to live apart. Not once all day have they played at being a family with Mom AND Dad. Just one or the other.

[daycare]

.....as I was watching the children play today. They have really been into role playing.

I noticed that they were playing role playing games that included going to "the Mommy's house" or to "the Daddy's house". I realized that for all these kids, it's normal for parents to live apart. Not once all day have they played at being a family with Mom AND Dad. Just one or the other.

It is very sad but I was once there. My son was about 6 and he came home from hid first play date at a school friends house.
He gets into my car as I pick him up and says to me mom you'll never guess what, it's the strangest thing. My friends mom and dad both live in the same house.
I was so sad when he told me that...

[Crystal]

That has always been one thing that has bothered me with children of separated or divorced parents....they never say I am going "home" It's always Mommy or Daddy's house.

[godiva83]

Heart breaking
I came from a divorced family, where my Dad raised my brother and I as a single Dad for the majority of my childhood. I always hid the fact My parents were not together and I was raised by my Dad- I was the odd one out, dad to see the roles reversed.

[mom2many]

That is so sad and yet so true. When I first started my childcare business, I didn't have any divorced families...but now it's the exception to have the child live with both mom and dad.

[Meyou]

Reading this I just realized that I'm really, really lucky that my girls call both my house and their dad's house home. It actually drives me a little batty because everytime they say "home" we have to ask which one. Their dad and I share them. He moved 4 blocks away and although they sleep here most school nights and there most weekends they have to option to go back and forth daily if they want. We still parent them together and get along well. In fact when he goes away for work we feed his cats for him. Yep, I have keys to my ex's house. Everyone thinks our relationship is odd now but my goodness....it's so much better for my kids that we laugh again and don't fight with each other.

[wdmmom]

I'm in Iowa and after my ex husband and I split, he moved to New York. We haven't seen him since and since he has warrants (for unpaid tickets), I doubt he'll be coming back to Iowa anytime soon!

It's worked out very well for my kids and I. I've been the only solid, consistent thing in their life and that's all they need. I have been able to provide enough structure that they've turned out to be good kids and they know what is expected of them.

Since my divorce, I've been with my husband now for 4 years (only married for almost a year) and they don't see things much differently. The same rules apply in this house as with any house we've ever lived in.

Because they've never had any other house, this is home. As long as I'm here, they're home.

That means more to me than anything! I'll feel privledged to have done it on my own and not have to share my kids or worry about visitation, etc.

[Cat Herder]

It is becoming the norm.

I had a herd of teenaged girls over recently for a "sleep" over and I overheard "What??? Your parents are still together? Your Christmas must ****."

Yep, they know two houses, twice the stuff.

[awestbrook713]

I think about this a lot. All of the children but 1 of them come from divorced or separated homes, and I see a whole bunch of behavior problems stemming from this sometimes. That is why I can be so patient I know that although everything else may be messed up for them but I can be that calm constant in their lives.

[littlemommy]

I remember hearing kids talk about that when I worked at a daycare a few years ago. I just started a family in my home who is divorced. The 3 year old asks me every day who is picking her up or what house she is going to. Lately she's been whining about wanting to go to daddy's house because mommy is not happy. I'm not sure what that's all about-I don't ask. Is it wrong not to ask?

[littlemissmuffet]

I don't think it's sad at all. My parents divorced when I was little - and I am WAY better off for it. I couldn't imagine having to have grown up in a house with both of them for any longer than I did - they weren't working out, and it was very obvious, even as a child. The best deicision either my mom or dad made was to split up.
The whole idea of "staying together for the kids" is most definitely NOT in the best interest of any kid.

Anyhow, growing up I had ONE friend whose parents were still married! The older I get, the more often I encounter folks whose parents are still happily married. It's sort of reverse for me than others.
All of my daycare parents, past and present, are married too.

[Meeko]

Knowing what I know about some of the parents....the kids are better off with the one parent...but it still makes me sad that society as a whole has shifted along this path.

I am 50 years old. Not ancient (well...my kids think so) but when I was kid, I spent my days playing at my home (my parents are still together after 53 years) or at my friends home. Lots and lots of friends. I don't ever recall going to a home where there wasn't two parents. School functions always seemed to have both parents there too. Birthday parties...two parents...etc etc.

I currently have 8 clients with 19 children between them. Only two of those parents are married. That's 4 kids out of 19 that have parents together. Some of the kids have never even KNOWN a father.....just a constant stream of boyfriends and all their siblings have a different last name.......just makes me wonder what the next generation will be like.....

[littlemissmuffet]

That has always been one thing that has bothered me with children of separated or divorced parents....they never say I am going "home" It's always Mommy or Daddy's house.

Well, all of my daycare kids live in two parent homes and almost all of them say "daddy's house" when referring to the home where the entire family resides. No matter how much I correct them to say "my house", they say "daddy's"... so it could just be a kid thing.

[Michelle]

A few years ago, I was dropping off my youngest daughter at school and the principal asked me the name of her father because there was a 8 year gap between her and her oldest sister. I told her all 6 kids are my husbands kids.
She laughed and said, "You don't know how unusual that is!

[JaydensMommy]

I have to disagree with you.. Coming from a divorced family IT IS SAD. I was devastated when my parents divorced at the age of 10. I NOW know they fought a lot but I DO NOT remember that and was not aware of it as a child. I only remember us being a family. So, I feel that if they would of done what was best for their family then they would of stayed together and made it work. After the divorce my dad remarried and moved too far to ever see. So we really did suffer as kids not being able to have our dad in our lives. Now as a mother to a wonderful little boy, I can tell you that no matter what me and my husband are going to make it work. My husband also comes from a divorced family and he was also really affected by that divorce, in his case it was inevitable because it was more than just arguing. But I do not think that the answer to arguing is getting a divorce. People don't think about Marriage as something that is supposed to be forever, pretty sad.