Let My First Kid Go

[MommyMuffin]

I had to let a child go yesterday. I never thought it would be so hard. I feel like a failure. She was very angry most mornings and cries if I cant hold her. It has been really hard trying to take care of her. I really wish I could have kept her and made her happy.

This is the first time I had to let a child go. Do any of you ever feel like a failure when children aren't fitting in to your daycare family?

I think they found another provider already and today may even be her last day. Is there anything I can do to soften the situation with them? They live close to me and I dont want hurt feelings.

[TBird]

Awwwww! That is so sad...I'm sorry.

How did you break the news and how did they take it??? It doesn't sound like it was a problem with the parents so I usually go from a standpoint of "I am so sorry it wasn't a fit...." or something like that so the parents don't feel too upset.

[Cat Herder]

The fact that you were honest and did not just toss her in a crib in a back room because you could not afford to let her go should already make them very happy.

It is not an easy decision, but when made in the best interest of the child AND the group it is a gift, not a punishment.

This same child may adapt perfectly to the next childcare situation. I have seen it.

No guilt, ok?

[wdmmom]

Don't feel guilty! Today when she's not there and it's quiet and you aren't stressed, you'll see the decision you made was a great one!

[MommyMuffin]

Awwwww! That is so sad...I'm sorry.

How did you break the news and how did they take it??? It doesn't sound like it was a problem with the parents so I usually go from a standpoint of "I am so sorry it wasn't a fit...." or something like that so the parents don't feel too upset.

I was fumbling over my words yesterday at pick up and finally I blurted out, "I cant watch *** anymore." Then I proceeded to explain that she isnt happy in the mornings and I am unable to hold her or sit with her all morning to make her happy. I told her how sorry I was. She seemed a little sad and stressed but I told her I would watch her for 2 weeks and I gave her a website to look for other providers.

Looks like they found one already so I will be out of pay for almost 2 weeks but its for the best.

Thanks for the support guys.

[Zoe]

I had to term my very first daycare kid after 6 months of trying to make his violent behavior better. I was honest with the mother and she found care right away as well. I too felt like a failure and hated to have to confront the mother about it.

But I tell ya....the second he got picked up on his last day I was myself again! I no longer had to stress every morning dreading what he would do to my children and dogs that day.

You did the right thing and I would just keep being honest and sincere with the parents. That's all you can do.

[MarinaVanessa]

Hang in there. You may feel upset right now but really, don't. It's not your fault, it just wasn't the greatest match. You'll see in the end that your days will be less stressed and flow much better once the DC child is out of your DC. Hopefully the new DC is a better fit for her and it'll be a win-win for both you and her. Good luck finding a new client soon.

[JaydensMommy]

I agree, you will feel better when she is gone and your days are much easier. I recently termed a baby like that and I felt bad about. But now I actually don't dread my days, it's so much quieter and everyone is happier.

[CheekyChick]

You did the right thing... She was causing you added stress that you don't need. You will find another child for her spot that will add something positive to your group and you will see it was the right decision.

[MommyMuffin]

I only have 1 week and then I have a new dcb, he is 6 months, happiest baby ever and he is my cousin! I will be watching him for 3 months until my oldest DCB brother is born and comes to my daycare.

[renodeb]

Lets face it, it really blows when we have to let a dc child go. But it happens. Its hard knowing we can not be all things to all families. I think in the past 5 1/2 years I have had to let 5 go for various reasons and it was so hard but at the end of the day I was so relieved b/c I knew it was for best. No guilt, and I hope you can find a great replacement soon.