Is This Fair?

[MsMe]

I recently broke my elbow and it required a surgery to fix the bone/tendins/muscles. I am currenly back at work full time but I have no use of my arm for a min of 4 more weeks. I feel 100% comfortable working alone w/age 1 and up. I do have a partner as we are a 2 provider home and she is here any time I have 8+.


We are starting a new baby tomorrow. She is a sibling to a current child and is a little older than we would normaly get as a baby 4 mo. (mom is a teacher w/ good timing and had the baby in the spring). She wants to know if my partner will always be here when the baby is. I understand this 100%.

BUT..............

my partner is generaly here only when there are 8+ children. That means she comes in late morning and leaves early afternoon. She has other obligations in the am and pm and we have worked it out that while I recover she can be here 8am to 4pm MAX.

Here is where the question comes....

Sometimes DCM picks up after school but mostly it is Dad @5:15. Am I wrong to tell her that I can only keep the baby untill 4pm? I feel confident that I could keep the baby SAFE at all times, even alone, but I can't do my duties with all of the children and the baby the way that I should.

I feel that I 'got lucky" that the babies family has a teached bc now I don't feel like I am really 'putting her (or my partner) out' in too bad of a way.

[Cat Herder]

The truth is always the best option.

If you don't feel it is safe/best for an small infant past 4 while you heal, then of course it is fair to tell her you can't keep the baby past that time.

I applaud you recognizing that. It speaks volumes to your character, IMHO.

[MsMe]

thanks for responding.

She was on of the two teachers I have that gave me the ' Ill be here right after school' and then slowly started getting later and later....so I don't feel super terrible about the 4pm pick up. I am sure it will return to 5 when I am healed.


....and yes I have learned my lesson about the 'early pick up promise'

[Crystal]

I think that is fine. Assure her that it is only temporary, until you are fully healed. She has the ability to pick up by then without having to miss work, so there is no reason that she should leave her children there when you have had surgery. I am sure she will be fine with it....and besides, with the baby just starting care, Mom is probably going to be anxious to pick up earlier anyway

[MsMe]

!

I think that is fine. Assure her that it is only temporary, until you are fully healed. She has the ability to pick up by then without having to miss work, so there is no reason that she should leave her children there when you have had surgery. I am sure she will be fine with it....and besides, with the baby just starting care, Mom is probably going to be anxious to pick up earlier anyway

::::::::

You would think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had the conversation with her this afternoon and she is not happy. I really felt confidant that I had found the solution that would work for everyone.

I am not really even saying that her kids can ONLY be there fot those hours just that those are the hours I can garentee a helper to be there.

I also thought she would want to get the kids asap (new baby and my recovery) ,....but I shouldnt be surprised.....we all know how theses kibd of parents are.

[Cat Herder]

Ugh...

Sounds like she wants a Nanny for a Group Care price...:confused:

If she is off work by then why is it even a problem??

Did I miss something?

[MsMe]

Yep. Off work at @ 3:25. School is over at 3:10 and then she can leave 15 min later.

I told her I could have Mrs. X here untill 4 pm....and 5pm IF she had an inservice and HAD to stay at work. Two minutes later she said "well you would tell me the nights I would have to be there by 4, right?" I had to repeat to here FOUR times that Mrs. X would only stay late if she had to WORK.....UGH!

I just don't understand.....come and get you CHILDREN

[Cat Herder]

I'm sorry, hun. That is pretty rotten.

A four month old, too....

I just can't imagine what goes through women like that's mind...

[familyschoolcare]

Is the mom/teacher using that time from 3:25 - 5:00 to prep or do personal stuff, just B/C a teacher can leave at 3:25 does not mean their work is done. Just saying that maybe that is part of the problem. Also are you sure she can leave at 3:25 it is becoming increasing popular for teacher to be required to be on campus for at least an hour after school to get work done it is called contracted hours.

[sharlan]

Is the mom/teacher using that time from 3:25 - 5:00 to prep or do personal stuff, just B/C a teacher can leave at 3:25 does not mean their work is done. Just saying that maybe that is part of the problem. Also are you sure she can leave at 3:25 it is becoming increasing popular for teacher to be required to be on campus for at least an hour after school to get work done it is called contracted hours.

The teacher that I had, had to stay for 1 hour after school was out.

[MsMe]

Is the mom/teacher using that time from 3:25 - 5:00 to prep or do personal stuff, just B/C a teacher can leave at 3:25 does not mean their work is done. Just saying that maybe that is part of the problem. Also are you sure she can leave at 3:25 it is becoming increasing popular for teacher to be required to be on campus for at least an hour after school to get work done it is called contracted hours.

She told me today she is contracted untill 3:25 and after going round and round said, and I quote ' the nights I go to the gym'. This is not a Mom that has gone to the gym all summer....while normaly it is NOT not my business what my parents choose to do with their free time, now that I am not running at 100% I need you ( FOR THE SAFTY OF YOUR OWN CHILD) to come and pick them up as soon as work is over....heaven forbid you put you child before you for only 4 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the 8 am drop off instead of 7:30...Dad does drop offs bc Mom is already at work and he works at a local place about 75% of my parent work. I also know (her words) that he has to be to work @8am. My home is 5 min TOPS ( there is NO traffic in my small town) Drop the kids off @ 7:50 (baby in a bouncy for 10min untill Mrs. X)

I am just beside myself.

[daycare]

She told me today she is contracted untill 3:25 and after going round and round said, and I quote ' the nights I go to the gym'. This is not a Mom that has gone to the gym all summer....while normaly it is NOT not my business what my parents choose to do with their free time, now that I am not running at 100% I need you ( FOR THE SAFTY OF YOUR OWN CHILD) to come and pick them up as soon as work is over....heaven forbid you put you child before you for only 4 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the 8 am drop off instead of 7:30...Dad does drop offs bc Mom is already at work and he works at a local place about 75% of my parent work. I also know (her words) that he has to be to work @8am. My home is 5 min TOPS ( there is NO traffic in my small town) Drop the kids off @ 7:50 (baby in a bouncy for 10min untill Mrs. X)

I am just beside myself.

WOW!! that's just sad.. I understand that she may need to stay late some times, but I also know that she can go into her classroom at any time she wants. Why can't she go in 30 minutes early for the whole whopping 4weeks? Why can't she talk to her boss and let the boss know whats up? Why can't she bring her work home and do it after the kids go to bed? Why can't mom go to the gym after dad gets home????Geerr I hate it when peole act like there are no options.....

this is pretty sad that the mom puts the gym before the child.

[mom2many]

I can totally understand your frustration and with your circumstances you'd think she could work with you & do her best to accommodate your temporary situation, while having the added bonus of enjoying more time with her baby!

I currently have 3 dcm's that are elementary school teachers and school is out between 2:30-3 pm. They are all typically here between 4 and 4:30 each day unless they have meetings. I know they have prep work and have papers to grade, etc...and I assume they must do most of it on their time at home.

Years ago, I did have one dcm that taught Kindergarten and promised to be here right after school ended. Her class ended at noon each day. She too began arriving later and later to pick up her child and the icing on the cake for me, was when I asked everyone to pick up by 5 pm, so I could get to my ultra sound appt. when I was 7 mths pregnant. She showed up 35 min late, because she was getting her nails done?! Needless to say, she never got called back when I returned from my maternity leave.

Best of luck to you and a continued recovery!

[MsMe]

I also want to add that I really thought 4pm was fair bc she is here about once a week at that time....so I know its possible.

[mom2many]

I also want to add that I really thought 4pm was fair bc she is here about once a week at that time....so I know its possible.

Yes, I'm sure it is! She just wants time to do "whatever"! It is just sad that some people cannot think beyond their own selfish desires at times!