UGH-More Bite Marks!

[littlemommy]

Where was he bitten? The reason I ask is it either wasn't very noticeable so how do you know for sure that it didn't happen after he left. You didn't notice it and the mother didn't notice it till AFTER she had him at home. That is what would worry me, the things that seem to appear after the child leaves my care and then they question me on it. So if it was still there that late, it seems it would have been noticeable upon pick up.

It was on his forearm by his elbow. I thought it was weird that she didn't let me know until 7...3 hours AFTER she picked him up. Not sure how it would have happened at home. I know she has had her other 2 kids for the summer, but they are 8 and 11, hopefully knowing better not to bite!

And he couldn't have bit himself. He only has 2 bottom teeth, and the picture showed an entire mouth full of skin. I don't know how I didn't notice it. That makes me feel bad. Unless it happened when I went to get his cup out of the fridge to put in his bag RIGHT before he left and it wasn't as red yet, I don't know.

[PitterPatter]

If I can't hold it until nap time I take mine up to the restroom with me and sit them in a row in the hall just outside the door. I can't see them but I can hear them. I can hear little susie saying STOP IT JOHNNY! So I know Johnny did something then when I go out I ask and look. That may help u. Just sit them along the wall in the hall. I tell them "Criss Cross Apple Sauce", they sit indian style on the floor. Then I say "Clap clap in your lap", They fold their hands in their laps. Now of course when I get out they are not in their laps. It's just a routine so they know what to expect and that I expect them to sit quietly for a minute.

Good luck to u!

[littlemommy]

If I can't hold it until nap time I take mine up to the restroom with me and sit them in a row in the hall just outside the door. I can't see them but I can hear them. I can hear little susie saying STOP IT JOHNNY! So I know Johnny did something then when I go out I ask and look. That may help u. Just sit them along the wall in the hall. I tell them "Criss Cross Apple Sauce", they sit indian style on the floor. Then I say "Clap clap in your lap", They fold their hands in their laps. Now of course when I get out they are not in their laps. It's just a routine so they know what to expect and that I expect them to sit quietly for a minute.

Good luck to u!

That would work, if my group were a little older. I have mainly 2 year olds, most of which don't listen very well. If something does go wrong, they are either quiet or only whine, they won't tell me who did what. That makes it even harder!

[Cat Herder]

What kind of high chairs do you use??

I have the portable clip on's (tot-locks) to save space.

I clip them to the table (five 1-2 year olds), buckle them in good, hand them each a dry erase board and marker... It keeps them occupied and safe while I run to the bathroom real quick.

I think I paid $30 each for them...

Would that work there?

[littlemommy]

What kind of high chairs do you use??

I have the portable clip on's (tot-locks) to save space.

I clip them to the table (five 1-2 year olds), buckle them in good, hand them each a dry erase board and marker... It keeps them occupied and safe while I run to the bathroom real quick.

I think I paid $30 each for them...

Would that work there?

I only have one big high chair. The toddlers all sit at a little card table for lunch.

[Cat Herder]

I only have one big high chair. The toddlers all sit at a little card table for lunch.

OK, so the booster seats that have the 3-point harnesses would work for 4 of your kids at that table plus one in the big high chair. If you take your son with you..that seperates 6 kids.

Would that solve the problem?? I don't know how many you have....:confused:

Walmart.com has these "online only" for $15 and "site to store" shipping is free.

[harperluu]

On 07-26-11 you said that the other boy could not have bitten himself, he never cried, you were not sure who bit, you did not see it and you felt your DS might be the biter.

I really think you are going to HAVE to confine the dck's to highchairs, pnp's or by another means when you leave the room.

I am not trying to be ugly, you just REALLY need to get a handle on this fast.

It is the only way I know to break the cycle.

For your own safety, I completely agree with this message. If you were reported to licensing by any one of your clients that there is a mystery biter that's biting unbeknownst to you, you WILL receive a corrective action.

Take the biter with you. If you don't know who the biter is, then they ALL need to be confined when you are not directly with them. You CANNOT just throw up your hands and claim ignorance of the situation. I would be distressed if I were the parent as well.

Bite wounds need to be tended to as well, in case the skin has been broken. If clients are finding these wounds once they leave care, then this is a URGENT issue. Typically ice on the bite mark will alleviate that lasting bruising.

I feel supportive of a provider that is taking direct action when they have a biter in their midst. But this laisez faire attitude is not going to do you or your clients any favors. Protect yourself by getting to the bottom of this and taking preventative measures immediately.

[Crystal]

For your own safety, I completely agree with this message. If you were reported to licensing by any one of your clients that there is a mystery biter that's biting unbeknownst to you, you WILL receive a corrective action.

Take the biter with you. If you don't know who the biter is, then they ALL need to be confined when you are not directly with them. You CANNOT just throw up your hands and claim ignorance of the situation. I would be distressed if I were the parent as well.

Bite wounds need to be tended to as well, in case the skin has been broken. If clients are finding these wounds once they leave care, then this is a URGENT issue. Typically ice on the bite mark will alleviate that lasting bruising.

I feel supportive of a provider that is taking direct action when they have a biter in their midst. But this laisez faire attitude is not going to do you or your clients any favors. Protect yourself by getting to the bottom of this and taking preventative measures immediately.

I totally agree.

[nannyde]

Yes, I'm sure the mom is angry that I don't know who did it, but can I have my eyes on every kid at every possible second? No.

You want it to be that way.

If they were your kids it would be that way.

But with other people's kids it's NOT that way.

If you don't have the physical set up to confine when you have to go out of the room then you don't have the right physical set up to do child care.

If you don't have the space for confinement equipment then you don't have enough space to do child care.

If you don't have the money for confinement equipment then you can't afford to do child care.

If you can't either confine them or phsycially directly visually supervise them at ALL times they are up on ten toes then you have too many kids.

If your son is the perp then you may have to stop doing day care to protect the other kids from him.

Every provider goes thru a mourning phase when they really realize that doing child care is NOTHING like taking care of your own kids, the accountability is a bazillion million times more than with your own kids, and "kids will be kids" is only for your OWN kids when your OWN kids are the ones harmed.

You have to grieve that idea... and put it away. You need to get to the point where you understand that you must have careful supervision at ALL times they are up and interacting with each other.

I have a really good old friend who did care for 25 years. Her sister was a provider too in a little town in Iowa. She had biters and in the end it landed her with a founded case of child neglect and her registration removed with no ability to do child care for ten years. It was bites to the face that got the DHS involved.

[littlemommy]

You want it to be that way.

If they were your kids it would be that way.

But with other people's kids it's NOT that way.

If you don't have the physical set up to confine when you have to go out of the room then you don't have the right physical set up to do child care.

If you don't have the space for confinement equipment then you don't have enough space to do child care.

If you don't have the money for confinement equipment then you can't afford to do child care.

If you can't either confine them or phsycially directly visually supervise them at ALL times they are up on ten toes then you have too many kids.

If your son is the perp then you may have to stop doing day care to protect the other kids from him.

Every provider goes thru a mourning phase when they really realize that doing child care is NOTHING like taking care of your own kids, the accountability is a bazillion million times more than with your own kids, and "kids will be kids" is only for your OWN kids when your OWN kids are the ones harmed.

You have to grieve that idea... and put it away. You need to get to the point where you understand that you must have careful supervision at ALL times they are up and interacting with each other.

I have a really good old friend who did care for 25 years. Her sister was a provider too in a little town in Iowa. She had biters and in the end it landed her with a founded case of child neglect and her registration removed with no ability to do child care for ten years. It was bites to the face that got the DHS involved.

Thanks for you input. I am doing what I can. And for the record, my son has been a victim of biting, too. I know I have more than one biter and I'm doing my best to figure it out. It doesn't happen every day or to every kid, and I don't have all kids here every day, so the process of elimination is a bit harder.

Just because I have a smaller home and don't have 8 pack and plays doesn't mean I shouldn't or can't be doing daycare. And no, I don't have 8 kids here. I'm licensed for 10, but I'm not comfortable with that many.

Two weeks ago I went to a child care conference. They talked about biting, hitting, and other toddler/child behavior. It is normal, and they stressed that. That does not mean I am sweeping it under the rug or letting it go without investigating. I am doing what I can. I know it needs to be dealt with. My problem is right now that I don't know who the other biter is.

Since my son has also been a victim of hitting AND biting, I think I know who the other biter is. No biting has happened today, and the other two boys are not here.

[nannyde]

Thanks for you input. I am doing what I can. And for the record, my son has been a victim of biting, too. I know I have more than one biter and I'm doing my best to figure it out. It doesn't happen every day or to every kid, and I don't have all kids here every day, so the process of elimination is a bit harder.

Just because I have a smaller home and don't have 8 pack and plays doesn't mean I shouldn't or can't be doing daycare. And no, I don't have 8 kids here. I'm licensed for 10, but I'm not comfortable with that many.

Two weeks ago I went to a child care conference. They talked about biting, hitting, and other toddler/child behavior. It is normal, and they stressed that. That does not mean I am sweeping it under the rug or letting it go without investigating. I am doing what I can. I know it needs to be dealt with. My problem is right now that I don't know who the other biter is.

Since my son has also been a victim of hitting AND biting, I think I know who the other biter is. No biting has happened today, and the other two boys are not here.

Well you know what works best for you and what works best for your kids and parents. If you feel strongly that the biting should be considered "normal" and that there are times when you can't have all eyes on them and that's to be understood then you will have biting and the parents will either understand and consider it expected and normal or they will protest, question, and ultimately leave.

If you, your state and your day care parents believe that it is normal and expected to have brief times of no visual supervision when the kids are up and that biting is a normal behavior that is to be expected then you will be fine. A little detective work to find out who is the aggressor and you will be square.

Other than matching bite marks with each kids mouth I don't know how to tell what kid bit what kid with your age group. It's going to be very hard to figure it out.

[mom2many]

I feel for you! Having a biter is horrible and all you can do is watch them all very carefully! It is normal for 1-2 year olds to lash out like this, when they don't have the verbal skills to communicate and it can also be something the others will copy, which compounds the whole problem. I have had to deal with this many times over the years and because it is such a serious thing, you do have to be extra vigilant.

Recently I had a 1 yo. dcg start biting---sometimes totally unprovoked! The first time it happened I was so shocked and it totally took me by surprise! I ended up bringing her with me whenever I needed to leave the room...couldn't trust her at all! Fortunately in most cases, this phase is usually short lived.

Here in CA I'm not sure licensing would agree with the suggestions of using confinement equipment. It's strictly forbidden and against CA regs to use pack and plays or high chairs for confinement purposes and I was told they will cite a provider for using them in this way!

I would also like to add that sometimes it doesn't matter how careful you supervise the kids! Years ago, I was a Sunday school teacher in a one year old classroom. We had a ratio of 1 adult for every 3 children. We had a known biter and actually assigned one specific adult to watch over just that one child. While the "biter" sat on that adult's lap, another child happened to walk by and right then and there, the child got bit before it could be stopped. At this point, we were forced to tell the parents that their child could no longer be in the Sunday school classroom, because even with extra precautions, we could not ensure the safety of the others.

Good Luck to you! Hopefully this will be over soon.

[Cat Herder]

Here in CA I'm not sure licensing would agree with the suggestions of using confinement equipment. It's strictly forbidden and against CA regs to use pack and plays or high chairs for confinement purposes and I was told they will cite a provider for using them in this way!

If it is for punishment, yes...confinement is "bad" according to regs. It is the same, here.

If it is to keep a child safe from a biter so a pregnant provider can get to the restroom MANY more times a day than an average provider...then I am pretty sure they would side with the kids safety.

This is a temporary solution to a problem that requires constant supervision.

[mom2many]

If it is for punishment, yes...confinement is "bad" according to regs. It is the same, here.

If it is to keep a child safe from a biter so a pregnant provider can get to the restroom MANY more times a day than an average provider...then I am pretty sure they would side with the kids safety.

This is a temporary solution to a problem that requires constant supervision.

Maybe this is an acceptable means of ensuring safety in some areas, but I specifically discussed this with the last analyst I had. She happened to mention that they are instructed to cite any providers using any type of means to contain or restrain an infant or toddler such as a high chair or pack and play even if it is to ensure that the child is safe from harm. This was indeed totally crazy and shocking to me...but that's what I was told!

[littlemommy]

Maybe this is an acceptable means of ensuring safety in some areas, but I specifically discussed this with the last analyst I had. She happened to mention that they are instructed to cite any providers using any type of means to contain or restrain an infant or toddler such as a high chair or pack and play even if it is to ensure that the child is safe from harm. This was indeed totally crazy and shocking to me...but that's what I was told!

I'm not completely against separating all the kids when I have to go to the bathroom, it's just hard with the set up and group that I have. All kids are mobile, most could get out of pack n plays or high chairs. If I have them all come in the bathroom with me, they would all get frustrated because we'd all be smashed in there like sardines.

I know my son is one of the biters, so he goes with me whenever I leave the room. I know the biting only happens when the other 2 boys are here, so that narrows it down and I should be able to figure it out this week.