Termination Gone Wrong

[Sugar Magnolia]

From one tree to another

I feel for you. You wanted to do the right thing, but you took a gamble and sadly something bad happened. I hope stuff works out for you, but hey now, illegal means its not legal and that's why there's.....well...a penalty of some sort to be paid. Unkind people exist and bad things happen to good people sometimes. I am pretty strongly opinionated on illegal operation of a child care being a very bad thing, but this just sounds like you're a case of avoidable hardship. I'm sorry that happened, but I think you'll be ok from reading the statute posted here. Peace. And what's your favorite tree? Mine is the Magnolia Welcome. And thanks for becoming compliant and legally approved.

[Sugar Magnolia]

If you are operating illegally as soon as you give a parent a NO they will use the fact that you are illegal against you.

Oh and this too. The unkind, selfish people of the world can and will use DCF as a weapon and tool of harassment; a very harsh and bitter truth.

[Unregistered]

Well at least you can give me that I was CORRECT on the last licensing conversation we had friend.

Are you suggesting that your parents don't have any way of finding out if you are registered without asking you? You don't use that to advertise?

You have only had wonderful parents? How long you been doing this unregistered?

My answer was too broad? Here: I'll be specific: If you are operating illegally as soon as you give a parent a NO they will use the fact that you are illegal against you.

I am responding to your questions even though we have not had any prior "licensing conversations" and I am not your friend. When I was not licensed, I was upfront and honest and told the parents. I did not need to advertise and it was strictly by referral and word of mouth only.

AND YES I did have WONDERFUL parents! I did this for 3 years before I became licensed. The parents did not care, but I did!

You are also VERY wrong in that, ANY disgruntled parent will call and complain to their licensing agency...being licensed makes no difference in this matter and I can say from experience that ANYTIME you tell a parent "NO" you run the risk of them doing this...operating Illegally has NO bearing on this whatsoever!

[sahm1225]

The mom might just be making empty threats to scare you into taking her daughter back. If she was unstable and kind of crazy, then I dont see her actually calling and following up on a complaint. .

I know of one provider who was shut down because of a complaint (she was running unlicensed. To her defense, our county takes almost 2 years to issue a license). The complaint actually got her her license quicker (1 year instead of the 2 years it took me!) But because she was on their radar, she was terrified of anything and everything during that time...

When they did the inspection/complaint visit, the representative was nice about it and told her that she was over her capacity and what she had to do. They gave her 2 days to notify all parents that she was closed.

[Meeko]

My answer was too broad? Here: I'll be specific: If you are operating illegally as soon as you give a parent a NO they will use the fact that you are illegal against you.[/QUOTE]

This! Nannyde is bang on with this. A disgruntled parent IS going to do whatever they want to "get back" at a provider they are upset with. Illegal day care is just ammo for their use.

Now illegal is different from unlicensed. Don't mix the two. Many providers are unlicensed and yet operate within the law. But if you are illegal and the parent knows it......be prepared for fallout when things go south. It's a given.

[Christian Mother]

In the state of AZ you don't have to be lic. to own or operate a daycare. As long as you aren't being compensated for more then 4 kids after that you need to be lic. Everyone who's interviewed with me are just fine with me not being state ran. One family I took on asked at the interview if I was state lic. and I told them I was not and didn't plain on ever getting lic. She ran her own lic. daycare out of her home and now had to return back to work bc she lost all her kids due to the economy. It's never been a issue since. I know quite a few daycares in AZ who are not lic. and a lot of people perfer that both ways. I could still operate the way I am not if I decided later to go and get lic. it wouldn't be a problem. I think lic. would be happy to switch me over from unlic. to lic. I just plan on not ever get lic. I only care for 3 to 4 kids a day. I couldn't watch anymore then that....::::

Good luck Tree...you will find both criticism and praise here....best to just shrug it off and take the good with the bad. I don't think anyone really means you harm or anything like that just honesty. Shrug it off. This is a great place to learn and bounce ideals off. Not everyone agree with everyone. You'll find that we all generally love each other but we do fight amongst ourselves.

[familyschoolcare]

I am responding to your questions even though we have not had any prior "licensing conversations" and I am not your friend.

I think Nannyde was trying to be nice and polite by referring to you as a friend. Friendship has many levels and if you do not consider her a friend does that mean she is an enemy. Lighten up she was just being polite.

[MamaBear]

I'm a licensed daycare provider in California and I cant imagine operating without my license. Just the risk alone of being found caring for more than one family without the license & getting fined for EVERY day of care (@ $200 per day) is enough to scare me from doing that. That will cost a lot more than the money that is made during that period of time. I had my license guy come see me and clear me for licensing within a month because all of my paperwork was complete and good to go. I would just say be careful & wait for your license to clear! It's all done for good reasons. The licensing people dont mess around.

[e.j.]

Now I have this sick feeling that licensing is going to show up at my door. But I have already applied I have everything ready. All I need is the inspection. I am wondering how bad it is going to be?

Also, I am worried that the DKM is going to create other problems. Being so new at this I am a little freaked. She threw a piece of folded up paper at my face after barging in my house. What am I exposing my family to?

What's done is done; not much you can do to change it now. Try not to lose sleep over what happened. There are some licensors who are very black and white in their thinking but most are reasonable human beings and will probably cut you some slack, especially since you've already set up a time to be inspected and are working toward being licensed.

I'm not in the same state as you are but our state's day cares are highly regulated. Like you, I started my day care just prior to applying for my license and stated that fact in the paperwork I submitted to the state. Although it is illegal to operate a day care in our state without a license, the licensor who came out to inspect my home never said a word about me operating without a license. He inspected my home, said I had a great set-up and granted me the license. That was just about 16 years ago.

I also spoke with someone who had been operating for years without a license and was recently reported by someone anonymously. Licensing went to her home, explained that she would need a license to continue to operate. They walked her through the process and she's now licensed. (She did have to close until she got her license, but otherwise, there were no major repercussions.)

I'm not advocating that anyone operate without a license. If you're supposed to have one, you should have one. I'm just saying that as long as you're working toward it, which you were, it may not be a huge deal. Just explain the situation if you get a call or visit. You may find that the licensor is reasonable to work with.

As far as what you may be exposing your family to...... well, anytime you work with the public and invite them into your home, you take on a certain amount of risk. If you can get clients by word of mouth, it helps to limit that risk somewhat. If you have to set up an interview, be sure to have your husband or another adult in the house so you're not alone. Go with your gut; if a family doesn't feel right, don't take them on. The more experience you gain, the easier it gets to weed out the crazies before they become your problem. Good luck.

[Lucy]

If I understand you correctly you are saying I deserved to have someone storm into my home with my own children here and have them act the way they did because I offered care for her child with out a license. That suggests that by having a license your childcare is some how safer, better. What does a license really do? They don't monitor your care. They don't monitor your contracts or your menu's or your schedules. My neighbor has had a licensed daycare for 5 years and they just came to her house for the first time a month ago they were there for one hour. They checked to make sure she wasn't over capacity, that she had proper paper work. That was it. How does that have anything to do with the types of parents you get.

I was hoping for more help on how to handle scary dcm's & dcd's but I can see I am only going to be made to feel less than. Really nice forum.

Don't judge the forum on a couple bad replies. This is a great resource. We're not all like that.

[Unregistered]

I think Nannyde was trying to be nice and polite by referring to you as a friend. Friendship has many levels and if you do not consider her a friend does that mean she is an enemy. Lighten up she was just being polite.

Sorry I have read her posts and she was NOT being nice or polite! Who are you kidding!?! She was being self righteous and condescending!

I agree with Mama Bear and unfortunately doing daycare in your home, does open you up to the public and negative circumstances. Listen to you instincts and if a parent or child is causing red flags then term them ASAP.

[GretasLittleFriends]

In Minnesota I could only care for one family at a time without being licensed. It took FOREVER to get my license. It was over a year, and to no fault of my own. Our county is small, and my licensor had things that kept coming up. My hubby suggested that I call the licensors supervisor and explain that it would be much cheaper for the county and the state to come do my interview/inspection than it would for our family to go on welfare. At times just before I got my license I was thinking I would actually have to go fill out those forms. Needless to say, I got my inspection, and my license. Less than two weeks later I had several more kids enrolled. I had two mom's waiting for me to get my license.

Waiting ****s, and trying to be self-sufficient can be very difficult...

Difficult parents, I have no advice.

[familyschoolcare]

Sorry I have read her posts and she was NOT being nice or polite! Who are you kidding!?! She was being self righteous and condescending!

I find it interesting that when Nannyde speaks/writes her mind and gives her honest opinion based on her years of day care experience people find her to be self righteous and condescending. But when other people do the same thing nothing is said/written about them. Just wondering what is up with that.

I do not find her to come off any or less self righteous, condescending or any other negative word than some of the other people on the forum but yet she is the only one people seam to call out on it.

[Unregistered]

higher end, lower ratio, unlicensed (private) care has advantages

It seems like a part time pair of twins and an infant, plus your own four is not crossing the line for private care. I am also not sure I would knock it. I think you might consider charging a bit more and staying private. My good friend just made 170.00 caring for two little ones in LA for one day. The idea that being "legal" makes you money is a good one if you want to max a ratio. The idea that better parents will follow the paper is just plain wrong. Better paying parents are more interested in a smaller ratio, which is more often a private arrangement. Its kind of the difference between day care and child care.

[Former Teacher]

I find it interesting that when Nannyde speaks/writes her mind and gives her honest opinion based on her years of day care experience people find her to be self righteous and condescending. But when other people do the same thing nothing is said/written about them. Just wondering what is up with that.

I do not find her to come off any or less self righteous, condescending or any other negative word than some of the other people on the forum but yet she is the only one people seam to call out on it.

And the people WHO do, are always the unregistered ones

Don't feed the trolls