Lunchtime Showdown

[MamaJ]

so with my own kids I will say things like "eat two bites of that and a bit of this and you may get down". do you do this with your DCK's who aren't eating?

breakfast and lunch were a flop with my 2.5yr old dcg. she refused to eat breakfast, and lunch. all the other kids ate a decent amount so were excused to go play...and I told her she had to take one bite of banana and one bite of her cheese tortilla. She proceeded to refuse. I felt like I already told her to do something, so if I just let her down then she'd think that I don't follow through. she started to throw a fit, so I just put her straight down for a nap. (only 10 minutes earlier than normal nap time).

can't really force a kid to eat....so what do you do? do you tell them to eat a certain amount before getting down? what if they don't eat at all? do you give them morning/afternoon snack or no? I don't want a child eating snacks all day and no meals, but how to give everyone else a snack and not them?

clearly I need to change my lunch time tacticts with dck's vs. my own. what do you do?

[snbauser]

No battles here. They eat or they don't. If they don't eat, then they don't eat until the next meal/snack. .

[AnneCordelia]

I don't force children here to eat, even my own, but I do require that they sit at the table nicely while we eat. And they don't eat again until I serve the next snack/meal.

I vary up our snacks...fruit or veggie with a carb or protein. And they can't fill up on carbs/one thing...so they only get one arrowroot until they eat a couple of snap peas, and then they can have another arrowroot. They don't get more macaroni until they have a few bits of green beans, ect. I serve very small portions...two or three bites worth...so that they are encouraged to eat more good stuff in this way. I do spend the entire lunch on my feet going around with the serving bowls, but my crowd does eat well and a variety. Maybe it's luck but I'm betting not.

Granted, all kids go through phases, but they don't tend to last long here. I also don't serve dessert (when we have it) to kids who don't eat veggies.

[MamaJ]

so, you just set food in front of them and don't say another word? how much time do you give them, and how do you explain when you take it away since young kids don't get "time"? do you encourage them to eat, or just say nothing?

and, say they don't eat breakfast, like today...and the snack I have for the park is something easy like goldfish crackers. I did let her eat them...but now all she's eaten all day is goldfish crackers. I wouldn't mind offering a snack like cheese and a veggie....but if she is not eating meals, I certainly don't want to offer crackers as a snack.

[Cat Herder]

No battles here. They eat or they don't. If they don't eat, then they don't eat until the next meal/snack. .

Same here. Lunch is stress free.

OP, click on the "family style meals" tag below....I explained in full detail how I do it on that thread, if you are interested.

[sharlan]

I found with my 3 yo, that if I only put one item on his plate at a time, he will eat better. For example, I will give him some applesauce or watermelon, then a couple of bites of broccoli or peas, then I give 1/2 ham or pb sandwich, then maybe a couple of chips if he has eaten everything else.

[AnneCordelia]

I guess I talk...we talk about stuff. I have a few 3yos who like to chat about anything and everything. The 1yos don't really talk and are able to be a bit more picky simply from lack of understanding 'try your green beans'.

We do chat about the foods we like, and I'll say things like, "DCB3, please eat some more carrots, I don't want you to fill up on crackers." I have a small fork ready for each of the 1yos so I can spoon in a mouthful of good stuff while they pick out the foods they like on their plates.

I always serve a fruit or a veggie too. I think that exposure to foods is what creates a taste for them. I serve lots and lots of fruits/veggies and do limit the carbs to a certain extent, because they will fill up on them every time.

[snbauser]

so, you just set food in front of them and don't say another word? how much time do you give them, and how do you explain when you take it away since young kids don't get "time"? do you encourage them to eat, or just say nothing?

and, say they don't eat breakfast, like today...and the snack I have for the park is something easy like goldfish crackers. I did let her eat them...but now all she's eaten all day is goldfish crackers. I wouldn't mind offering a snack like cheese and a veggie....but if she is not eating meals, I certainly don't want to offer crackers as a snack.

I put the food in front of them and wait. If I see they aren't eating I will encourage them to eat. My kids know that if they are done they put their napkin on their plates and wait to be called to get up. If I see their napkin on their plate and they haven't eaten much I will say something like "aren't you going to eat?" If they say no, I let them get up. I limit the amount of time they can be at the table too. I will warn them when breakfast, etc is almost over. Most of the time they have plenty of time to eat unless they are spending too much time staring at everyone else.

[Unregistered]

so with my own kids I will say things like "eat two bites of that and a bit of this and you may get down". do you do this with your DCK's who aren't eating?

breakfast and lunch were a flop with my 2.5yr old dcg. she refused to eat breakfast, and lunch. all the other kids ate a decent amount so were excused to go play...and I told her she had to take one bite of banana and one bite of her cheese tortilla. She proceeded to refuse. I felt like I already told her to do something, so if I just let her down then she'd think that I don't follow through. she started to throw a fit, so I just put her straight down for a nap. (only 10 minutes earlier than normal nap time).

can't really force a kid to eat....so what do you do? do you tell them to eat a certain amount before getting down? what if they don't eat at all? do you give them morning/afternoon snack or no? I don't want a child eating snacks all day and no meals, but how to give everyone else a snack and not them?

clearly I need to change my lunch time tacticts with dck's vs. my own. what do you do?

My kids get 30 minutes to eat breakfest, lunch, and snack if they are finishing up when 30 minutes is up I wont take there plate away but if they have been playing the whole time plate goes in the trash. Everyday my kids get an entree, a fruit, and veggie with lunch, and 8oz of milk they dont get 2nds of anything unless they eat everything on there plate I also do not give them there milk until all food is gone or 30 minutes is up which ever comes first because alot of kids will just fill up on drink and not eat.

[grandmom]

You can't make the kid eat. Just save it for the next meal/snack. It usually works, they learn quickly that even if they don't eat green beans for lunch, they will see them again at snack.

[MissAnn]

No battles here. They eat or they don't. If they don't eat, then they don't eat until the next meal/snack. .

Exactly what I do. I don't praise for eating either. I feel that by doing either urging, bribing or praising....we are making eating a battle versus listening to what our bodies tell us.

[meganlavonnesmommy]

Same as most of the others. Meals and snacks are a no issue. They eat, or they dont. If they dont, then they wait until the next meal/snack is served.

We do a lot of talking about food, and encouraging, but I dont make anyone eat. I dont serve 2nds unless they eat the other food on their plate, but no one is forced to eat anything.

We talk about the food we are eating "milk gives you strong bones, oranges have vitamen c, and that helps keep your body healthy. What are your favorite fruits, what is your favorite vegetable." I praise the kids that are eating good. "Sally, you ate all your green beans, you're going to have lots of muscles today".

I have one picky eater in my group. He doenst like most of what I serve, Dad is a single dad and they at fast food almost every night for dinner. Many times he doenst eat, and then will ask for goldfish all day. But he never gets any. He knows that if he doesnt eat, he doesnt eat.

I do try to "balance" my meals so there is something the picky one will eat. Like when we have pizza and salad, I know he wont eat either of those, so I serve bananas with it, cause he loves bananas. At least I know he will eat the banana and have something in his belly.

[Kaddidle Care]

When I only had one or two in my home, I would read a book and wouldn't turn the page until they took a bite. I've done this with a few children at our center that needed to eat early to go on a bus to special programs in town.

At our Center, we're spot checking and putting up cots and if they don't eat, we'll put it aside for after nap snack. Most of them are HUNGRY at lunch time. They are usually looking for their after nap snack when they are done. If it's not something really sugary, we give it to them and then they get a school snack after nap.

If they don't eat here, something's up and they're probably getting sick so we don't push it. When they don't feel like eating and you push food in, it usually comes back out in short order.

[DBug]

There are only two things a child has REAL control over: when & how much they eat, and when & where they potty (if they're of training age) ::. Neither one is worth the battle, and both will result in big problems if you end up taking the child on. There are lots more battles that are worth the time and energy to fight.

I allow about 30 minutes for meals, 15 for snacks. I just put plates in front of the kids (all healthy foods, no treats at daycare except for very special occassions), and they eat what they eat, and they clean themselves up when they're done. So they can leave the table whenever they like, but they can't come back to the table after they leave. I can see the playroom from the kitchen, so they just go play when they're done. If they take 2 minutes, that's fine, if they take 30, that's okay too.

Food is one of the things that can REALLY stress me out, so early on I had to make a conscious decision to not concern myself with what or how much the kids eat. I do log it on their communication logs so their parents can see, but I force myself to not worry about it here .