Advice Needed

[learn-n-grow]

Hello All! This is my first post. I stumbled on this site when googling for advise on this matter. I have a 19 month old boy enrolled @ my home. He has been coming since April and he still cries all day long. He doesn't take a nap. He sometimes wakes the other sleeping kids up from their nap with his crying. No matter what I do, he just won't be content. During the day, when we do group activities or read stories, he cries. It really is irritating. At first I expected it since he was new but he has been here nearly 4 months now. I don't now what to do. I really wanna terminate him. What should I do? I have never had to terminate a child before so I don't know if this is grounds for termination.

Thanks in advance for the advise.

[kidkair]

I'd term him. Obviously he needs different care than you can give him. For one reason or another he is just not happy with you. 4 months is a long time to not be happy and it could be causing developmental delays and he needs to be moved on to a place he likes so that he can continue to develop and grow where he's happy rather than upset the whole time.

Personalities not clicking is a reasonable reason for terming. You need to be happy as do all the other kids you care for. 4 months is a long time for that much stress affecting all of you. Term and be happy again. You'll be amazed at the difference it'll make in your daycare.

[wdmmom]

Failure to participate in daily activities. Distracting children while crying all day long. Waking children up because of him not wanting to sleep. No parental suggestions/advice.

If you've had this child for 4 months and nothing is improving, I'd give a 2 week notice immediately! They wouldn't get past the 4th week if I didn't see any sign of improvement.

This boy is clearly old enough to participate in daily activities and if he's choosing not to and cries all day, it's not beneficial to keep him around. It affects the other kids enrolled and it affects your sanity!

[learn-n-grow]

When he first started his mom told me that the last center he was in said that he cried a lot but I didn't think it would be that bad. I mentioned this behavior to his mom but she doesn't seem to think that it is a problem. He does have some good days but his bad days outweigh the good day. Being that I have never terminated a child before. Any suggestions on how I should do this. Thanks again for the advise.

[wdmmom]

I would tell DCM that he's still not adjusting and provide her with written notice of your intent to cancel services.

Write something like this:


"Thank you very much for allowing me to provide care to ___. After much deliberation, I will no longer be able to provide services after ___."

[meganlavonnesmommy]

I'd definately terminate him. It's hard to do, and I know you will feel guilty.

But look at it this way. He's not happy either. I'm sure he doesnt like crying and being upset all day. It's not fair to him, and its not fair to the other kids in your care. I am sure they dont like listening to him cry either.

[permanentvacation]

Yes, it's grounds for termination. He is unhappy most of the time there, disrupts the day, the other children are listening to him be upset/cry constantly, etc. Anything that makes it not be a good fit is grounds for termination in my book. Whether they are physically assulting others or simply not happy. A child in daycare should be fairly happy and content with their day. If they are not, they need to find another daycare that might fit the child better. My biggest question is why is he crying so much? Does he get enough sleep at night? Is he tired during the day and simply needs to nap at different times than your other kids? If so, can you try to put him in a playpen in another room so he can sleep without hearing the noise of the other kids while he's sleeping. Maybe after doing that for a while and as he gets older, you can ween him into your regular nap schedule. Is it that he can't handle to amount of kids/commotion from the kids in a typical daycare setting and might be better with a babysitter or nanny where he would be the only child there. It's really hard to figure out what the reason is with such a young child. But there is a reason the child is upset all day. He was upset at the previous daycare as well as yours, so it might have more to do with his sleeping pattern, seperation anxiety, not comfortable leaving his home, not able to deal with the noise/activities of multiple kids, etc.

If you want to try to make it work, you might want to try to put him in another room in a playpen and monitor him to see when he seems to sleep and when he's awake/playing and when he's hungry. That way, he can show you his desired schedule and won't be bothered by the noise/commotion of the other kids.

If you want to terminate him, maybe you can suggest that they try a babysitter or nanny so he is the only child there. Let them know that since he was upset at both of the daycares he went to, it might be the commotion that bothers him. For right now, he might need a quiter, one on one setting. Then as he gets older he might be ready for a multiple child atmosphere.

[learn-n-grow]

Yes, it's grounds for termination. He is unhappy most of the time there, disrupts the day, the other children are listening to him be upset/cry constantly, etc. Anything that makes it not be a good fit is grounds for termination in my book. Whether they are physically assulting others or simply not happy. A child in daycare should be fairly happy and content with their day. If they are not, they need to find another daycare that might fit the child better. My biggest question is why is he crying so much? Does he get enough sleep at night? Is he tired during the day and simply needs to nap at different times than your other kids? If so, can you try to put him in a playpen in another room so he can sleep without hearing the noise of the other kids while he's sleeping. Maybe after doing that for a while and as he gets older, you can ween him into your regular nap schedule. Is it that he can't handle to amount of kids/commotion from the kids in a typical daycare setting and might be better with a babysitter or nanny where he would be the only child there. It's really hard to figure out what the reason is with such a young child. But there is a reason the child is upset all day. He was upset at the previous daycare as well as yours, so it might have more to do with his sleeping pattern, seperation anxiety, not comfortable leaving his home, not able to deal with the noise/activities of multiple kids, etc.

If you want to try to make it work, you might want to try to put him in another room in a playpen and monitor him to see when he seems to sleep and when he's awake/playing and when he's hungry. That way, he can show you his desired schedule and won't be bothered by the noise/commotion of the other kids.

If you want to terminate him, maybe you can suggest that they try a babysitter or nanny so he is the only child there. Let them know that since he was upset at both of the daycares he went to, it might be the commotion that bothers him. For right now, he might need a quiter, one on one setting. Then as he gets older he might be ready for a multiple child atmosphere.

I wish I knew why he cries. I have tried to comfort him but not much works. If I put him in a playpen with his blankie, he'll sit quietly for awhile. You can tell that he's sleepy at nap time because he falls asleep but then he'll wake himself up and cry off and on, off and on until snack. he sits in the high chair eating his snack and sometimes he dozes off. I don't think it's a great fit with him being here. I am thinking of his best interest here. As you stated, maybe he is just not ready to be in a multiple child care setting.

[Unregistered]

This post reminds me of a boy I had gotten through a recomendation of an aquantiance. He was 9 m/o and was only happy if he was carried around. The moment I even plucked him off my hip a little bit he would start crying and not stop. No matter what I did he was never happy unless he was being held. He did not sleep well either, maybe 10-20 minutes and then up crying. After 4 months of that I dismissed him. He just wasnt cut out for dc. He was never happy, he never adjusted to the dc routine and worst of all my other dc parents were started to react to his constant crying.
If its been that long and he still isnt adjusted I would term. Some kids just dont do well adjusting to dc for one reason or another.