Do I Take This At Face Value?

[lupiegirl81]

Newly registered on this site! Need some advice!

I previously posted a thread unregistered about my pricing. I utilized the advice I received from everyone and am happy to say it all went well! Now I am in need of advice on another matter.

I have operated my daycare for 11 years and in the last year have become pretty burnt out. I am currently having major issues with one of my DCP.

After sending out new contracts and late fees, the first day this DCP was 45 minutes late, day 2 DCP was 30 minutes late never paid late fees even after being asked. Next week DCP took an unannounced, unpaid day off, this is their first week back. DCP lives across the street and I have been providing care for them for 3 years. They have 3 children.
DCP informs me that youngest child will be attending a new daycare that offers preschool. Ok, but still wants me to watch older 2 B&A school. I give them the rate for B&A which is the same as it has always been and nothing more was said.
Today oldest DCG (who is 9) informs me that DCD said he hates me and thinks I treat the two DCB's badly while letting every other child run wild.
I feel that because they live across the street it would not be a great idea to cause too much trouble with them and quietly terminate for non payment and late pick ups but the other part of me wants to confront this person on verbalizing a hatred towards me to the children.
This same DCD never calls to inform me he will be late, I have to track him down for my payments, never apologizes for being late, and won't even talk to me when he picks up his children.
Our daughters are friends, but he has expressed complete hatred towards my youngest daughter and will not allow my children to play at his house. I know there is animosity towards me and me towards him, but what potential hazards will come from telling him where the door is this afternoon and do I really believe what DCD said?

Sorry for rambling, but my emotions are all over the place right now

[JenNJ]

He shows hatred towards your child and you allow him on your property? Hell no. His butt would be termed simply because he is a big old meanie. No one is allowed to be mean to my kids.

[lupiegirl81]

Sorry, that was supposed to be unannounced, unpaid week off.

I also wanted to say that this family has been nothing but trouble from day 1. There are so many issues that have occurred so I am at my last straw with them and need to see if I should give them immediate termination and **** up the lost money or if I should be nice and give them a 2 week notice. I just do not want any trouble because they live right across the street. It's going to make it very uncomfortable to see them after termination.

[Meyou]

I would terminate. They don't respect you or follow your rules and now the DCD is saying horrible things to his children about you.

[lupiegirl81]

My husband said to let it go and continue as a business. I on the other hand was hurt the first time he said something about my daughter. Yes, he is a bully, he bullies me, his children, his wife, and any other person that does not agree with him. He believes he is on a pedastal and wants everyone to think he makes big $$$. I got news for him, we live in the same edition, I know what kind of house he lives in, etc..


But yeah, the ramifications of giving immediate notice might come back to bite me in the bottom.

[cheerfuldom]

I would terminate but provide them with an updated itemization of what is still owed. This is a big reason why I dont take neighbors kids. Also, dont even try to confront them about what the kids say or how your kids are treated or anything else, just keep it professional and dont get into a confrontation. If you are licensed, call your licensing office and be prepared for retaliation from this family. It will be a miracle if things end nicely.

[kimsdaycare]

I'd have to ask them about the "hate" comments. I wouldn't be able to continue care on a daily basis with those words hanging around in my head.

That is a horrifying way to describe your feelings toward your provider and their family. There's no way I would welcome someone into my home that felt that way about us.

And the children heard this? And openly share it?

I'm guessing the parents are likely saying this stuff to others too

Seriously, you are risking your reputation more by keeping them. They are already being nasty and still getting the convenience of your care!

[MarinaVanessa]

Dear Family,

I would like to inform you that unfortunately I will no longer be able to meet your families needs and that child care for {children's names} will be terminated. Their last day of care will be {two weeks from now}. As per our agreement payment is required during this time whether or not your children attend.

I would also like to inform you of monies past due in the amount of $XX.xx. Below is the itemized list of what is owed.

$XX.xx - Unpaid late pick up fee for {date}
$XX.xx - Unpaid late pick up fee for {date}
$XX.xx - Unpaid week for unapproved absence for {dates} due to no proper notice given

The amount is due immediately upon the arrival of your child's next day of child care and, if left unpaid, child care will be suspended until the amount is paid in full including all late payment fees. The weekly child care rate will still apply and late payment fees will be added as stated in the policies.

{Quote your late pick-up fees here}

{quote your attendance policy here that shows that payment is required even though the children do not attend ... if you have one}

{quote your vacation policy here including how much time they have to notify you when they go on vacation}

{quote your unpaid tuition fees policy here}

Sincerely,
DC Provider


Well that's what I would do anyway and of course the letter is based on my own policies. Obviously it is just not going to work out between the two of you and things can only get worse. I would just end things as quietly and nicely as possible. I would give them a 2-week notice so that it shows that even though you wanted to terminate them you were professional enough to allow them 2 weeks to find alternative care. Odds are that they won't finish off their 2 weeks anyway which would benefit you anyway. If they don't pay within 2 weeks then I would send them another notice to inform them that you are going to file a claim in small claims court but we'll save that for another post.

I'm just worried that if you let it slide and don't cut your professional ties with them soon that things are going to get nasty real quick. I think it's better to just let them go now and get on with your DC. Nothing that you do will ever satisfy that DCD anyway. The worst case scenario is that DCD will call licensing on you (if you are licensed) and if that's the case just make sure to document EVERYTHING in a notebook including times that they were late etc and YOU call your licensing office. Explain the situation to them and let them know that you will be giving the family notice on such-and-such date and that you are worried about backlash.

Good Luck

[MarinaVanessa]

That is a horrifying way to describe your feelings toward your provider and their family. There's no way I would welcome someone into my home that felt that way about us.

He's probably just one of those people that gets a kick out of making other people feel or look bad to make himself feel better. Little man syndrome. Think about it ... if you really thought that your DC provider was awful to your kids would you honestly leave them there? Not me, I'd pull my child out immediately if it was really that bad.

He probably just doesn't like being told what to do (pick up times, fees, paying for vacations etc). The DC provider decided to change her policies and he didn't like that obviously. Things he doesn't like about the provider's policies and such probably just spilled over to include other things related to her ... like her children. The idea about the DC provider not liking his own children is just another excuse for him to not like her... or maybe he doesn't like the idea of her being able to tell his kids what to do either KWIM?

[KBCsMommy]

I once had a family exactly like that. One time the dcm was late paying me so I asked dcd and he told me it wasn't his responsibility to make sure I was paid on time and I needed to take it up with his wife. The dcd never talked to me or asked how dcb day went. I termed the family very soon after. Come to find out the dcd was extremely abusive to his family. Heard he lost his job soon after and moved the family out of state trying to find work.

I was glad they were gone. I hated every pick up and had nervous stomach everytime the dcb was here. It felt like a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders when they were out of my house!!

[wdmmom]

My mentality towards my neighbors is this:

My mind my business, you mind yours. We get along great that way. I don't really associate with my neighbors much but we are cordial and will wave on occasion.

I wouldn't worry about you terming unless you are a close knit neighborhood and you fear that your reputation. They'll probably be butt hurt if you terminate and cause a unnecessary visit from DHS.

Just prepare yourself for what comes next. It sounds like DCD is a real winner so I'm sure he'll reak a little havok on your life. But, I'd definitely term.

I think the PP's letter would be a great example for you to use.

Good luck!

[nannyde]

Newly registered on this site! Need some advice!

I previously posted a thread unregistered about my pricing. I utilized the advice I received from everyone and am happy to say it all went well! Now I am in need of advice on another matter.

I have operated my daycare for 11 years and in the last year have become pretty burnt out. I am currently having major issues with one of my DCP.

After sending out new contracts and late fees, the first day this DCP was 45 minutes late, day 2 DCP was 30 minutes late never paid late fees even after being asked. Next week DCP took an unannounced, unpaid day off, this is their first week back. DCP lives across the street and I have been providing care for them for 3 years. They have 3 children.
DCP informs me that youngest child will be attending a new daycare that offers preschool. Ok, but still wants me to watch older 2 B&A school. I give them the rate for B&A which is the same as it has always been and nothing more was said.
Today oldest DCG (who is 9) informs me that DCD said he hates me and thinks I treat the two DCB's badly while letting every other child run wild.
I feel that because they live across the street it would not be a great idea to cause too much trouble with them and quietly terminate for non payment and late pick ups but the other part of me wants to confront this person on verbalizing a hatred towards me to the children.
This same DCD never calls to inform me he will be late, I have to track him down for my payments, never apologizes for being late, and won't even talk to me when he picks up his children.
Our daughters are friends, but he has expressed complete hatred towards my youngest daughter and will not allow my children to play at his house. I know there is animosity towards me and me towards him, but what potential hazards will come from telling him where the door is this afternoon and do I really believe what DCD said?

I feel that because they live across the street it would not be a great idea to cause too much trouble with them

Girlfriend

If this was me... I would not worry one bit about causing trouble or terming quietly.

I would declare WAR on these guys TOday.

First... tell your husband to mind his own beeswax. He shouldn't have a single say about anything unless he wants to take care of the kids and deal with this jerk. When husbands get into daycare biz it's almost ALWAYS that they just want the money.

Secondly... NOBODY comes onto my property who hates my kid. I have a line that will not be crossed... and that is my KID. Mess with my kid and you are ghandi... that day.. period.

I wouldn't allow my kids on their property.
I would STOP the friendship between his kid and my kid TODAY.
I would tell them that I'm done working for them today and they are not to step foot on my property ever again.

You do NOT have to be nice to them.

You do NOT have to keep neighborly relationships with them.

You CAN tell them to take a leap and get the he!! out of your life.

Meet them with power with your voice , your body language , and your words every single time you see them.

This guy has gotten away with treating you like crap and treating your kids like crap and all he has to do is give you money when he feels like it.

NO NO

There's times in this business where you do NOT have to be professional and you do not have to be kind. This is one of those times. Don't worry about whether or not the other neighbors will like it or not. They most likely hate him too.

Don't worry about your kids friendship... they don't have to be friends with kids who have parents who hate them.

Don't worry about what your husband says... he's not the one putting up with their disrespect.

Call licensensing and tell them to expect a phone call from this family. Tell them you welcome the inspection and you will see them in a few days.

Do what YOU WANT TO DO and do it TODAY.

[youretooloud]

Ya know... at the age of nine... I knew better than to repeat something mean like that. Four year olds repeat hurtful things on accident.. nine year olds know they shouldn't, but want to anyway.

Soooo.... I would bring it up to the parents WHILE the nine year old is standing there. Because she needs to learn to keep her mouth shut.

Then, I would terminate starting NOW. If you have already been paid, and don't want to return any money, and don't want trouble, maybe tell them it's effective at the end of the week.

Dad is a jerk... that's too bad for his kids, but it's not your problem. Be nice but firm, since they live across the street, and you have to see them for a long time. Hopefully their daughter and your daughter can remain friends though.

[lupiegirl81]

Thank You!

So I confronted DCD at pickup today. He was taken back by what I said and I have one of two interpretations of his demeanor.

1. He was shocked that he got told on for what he said and backtracked tremendously.
2. He was genuinely shocked by what I said.

Either way, I agreed to continue watching the oldest 2 after school 3 days per week. I feel terrible for ousting the oldest daughter as I know there will probably be repercussions for her words, but regardless I feel better and good about myself for confronting him.

A pp had a theory that he was upset by my new contract which we also discussed this evening. He felt that my prices were high for the after school care in that his kids would only be here two-three days so we settled that issue. Why he would sign a new contract without discussing possible issues with me first is beyond me. It seems as though the contract upset him and instead of talking to me he chose to be upset with me.

Since finding this website I have turned my business around. I was too lax before with my contract and the things I would allow to go on. Now I have a backbone, I've been able to express myself without fear of repercussions. I am so thankful to know I am not alone and have resources to aide in the success of my daycare!

[christinaskids]

I totally agree with nan. If he hates you so much, then a termination should be welcome for him. From the sound of it, you are allowing him to bully and disrespect you and your children. No way. This is MY BUSINESS and MY HOME and nobody will disrespect me in my home. You also need to set a good example for your children about self respect so they would go right away. I wonder what else his daughter tells yours? I wouldn't mess with their friendship though, it is not their fault. Just set up some clear boundaries for the girls and let the daughter know that you still love and care about her.