I Guess We Will See Where The Cards Fall!

[NiNi.R.]

My one and only problem DCM has been on vacation. Although the DDs are darling it has been wonderful having a consistent schedule with no complaints.

DCM has always had problems finding someone dependable and reliable to take her oldest to and from school. A few months back while I was on maternity leave the daycare she took them to offered to put up with her sporadic work schedule and transport her children to and from school all for the same price I already offer. I talked her into staying as I couldn't financially deal with it having a new baby at the time. We worked out a deal on her work schedule and she had finally found someone but I found out last week that that lady won't be able to do it this school year. I also noticed that this same daycare was advertising for two spots.

After talking to my husband I decided I would call her and tell her that while I didn't want to necessarily lose the girls I also knew that finding a reliable person to take her DD to and from school kind of put her in a pinch and that I would completely understand if she chose to switch daycares.

So after telling her all this she said the thing about the other daycare was that her transportation wasn't always consistent and there were still days she had to find a ride for the girl. So I clearly allowed myself to be held hostage my finances and duped by a parent to get what they want.

DARN IT DARN IT DARN IT...I ALWAYS DO THIS TO MYSELF AND GIVE PARENTS THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT!

She said she is going to check into everything and get back with me. I'm so nervous...secretly I'm hoping that she switches daycares but on the other hand financially I'm nervous. I guess we will see where the cards fall.

[MarinaVanessa]

You know what, I was put in a situation where all I did was kiss butt to a DCM and pretty much let her get away with everything because I was nervous about finances. I ****ed it up and catered to her every need. Then one day I realized that I HATED getting up in the morning. I HATED the thought of what drop-off was going to be like, I HATED the thought of what pick-up was going to be like, I HATED the thought of "what is she going to complain about today", I HATED the thought of knowing that if she was late in picking up I wouldn't say anything for fear of her getting upset, I HATED a million other little things that I kept to myself that made me HATE getting up in the morning to do the job that I CHOSE to do, the job that I LOVED doing.

I made the decision that I would take my business, my dignity and my professionalism back and I put a stop to everything ... cold turkey. She threatened to leave like she had each and every time that I brought up an issue with her and I gave her the 'ol "I understand. You have to do what is best for you and your family. And I have to do what is best for my business, myself and my family. I will miss {DCB} should you decide to go somewhere else. Let me know in writing by the end of the week what your decision is". She gave me a long pause and I walked her to the door. She NEVER took advantage of me again. She chose to stay of course and eventually did leave, however I still get emails asking to come back. That's when I give her the 'ol "Unfortunately, I am unable to accomodate you at the moment. I will let you know if an opening pops up that meets your needs". Of course it never will.

I'm telling you this because once I had that first talk with her I immediately felt great and I got my life, my business and my sanity back. Once she left it was like a HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders. Just some food for thought. {{{hugs}}}

[sharlan]

Yes, much better to place all the cards on the table and let them fall where they may.

It is not good to internalize all of this stress. As a person, this can have a negative effect on YOUR health. You need this health to care for your family first, and others next.

[NiNi.R.]

You know what, I was put in a situation where all I did was kiss butt to a DCM and pretty much let her get away with everything because I was nervous about finances. I ****ed it up and catered to her every need. Then one day I realized that I HATED getting up in the morning. I HATED the thought of what drop-off was going to be like, I HATED the thought of what pick-up was going to be like, I HATED the thought of "what is she going to complain about today", I HATED the thought of knowing that if she was late in picking up I wouldn't say anything for fear of her getting upset, I HATED a million other little things that I kept to myself that made me HATE getting up in the morning to do the job that I CHOSE to do, the job that I LOVED doing.}

This is exactly how I have been feeling lately and until they were gone for a week I didn't realize why. Thanks so much for your story as it gives me hope that either way things will work out for the best

[NiNi.R.]

DCM dropped girls off this morning. Saying she is still trying to find someone to take her child to school. (Apparently she didn't have anyone to pick her up this year. Can't believe she is just now worrying about it with school only a couple weeks until school starts but that's beside the point.) Went on to complain about how she doesn't want to take these children to the other daycare because they won't do the girls hair before school and she doesn't want to pull her out of bed any earlier than she already does. Mind you she was saying all this while getting all choked up and getting teary eyed.

[Country Kids]

Why can't she ride the big yellow thing (the bus)? I'm surprised at how many providers transport children to the actual school instead of having them ride the bus.

[NiNi.R.]

We live in a very small town and the bus does not pick up at the home unless you live outside city limits. I live 3 blocks from the elementary school and it's not a straight shot. Nearest bus stop is also 3 blocks away. At 6 years old DCM doesn't feel like she is old enough to walk to and from school. Especially in the winter months.

[MarinaVanessa]

I agree that 6yo is too young to walk to school by herself. Last year when my SIL lived with my MIL my DH would drive my DD to their house (which is 3 blocks away from her school) on his way to work. She would have breakfast there and then her and my nephew would walk to their old daycare about 6 houses down the street (they both had the same DC lady before I did DC) and they would all walk together to school with DC ladies assistant. Some days DC lady would be running late and DD and nephew would alone BUT he was 8yo and I trust him to get her safely to school to drop her off at her kindie classroom or playground.

As for DCM ... she's getting watery eyed to give you a guild trip about transportation hoping that you'll offer to drive her kids. IF I accepted school age kids and if the kid went to the same school as my DD, got out at the same time and I was already going to drop my DD off then I wouldn't mind driving a DCK to and from school ... for an extra fee of course.

[Blackcat31]

I agree that 6yo is too young to walk to school by herself. Last year when my SIL lived with my MIL my DH would drive my DD to their house (which is 3 blocks away from her school) on his way to work. She would have breakfast there and then her and my nephew would walk to their old daycare about 6 houses down the street (they both had the same DC lady before I did DC) and they would all walk together to school with DC ladies assistant. Some days DC lady would be running late and DD and nephew would alone BUT he was 8yo and I trust him to get her safely to school to drop her off at her kindie classroom or playground.

As for DCM ... she's getting watery eyed to give you a guild trip about transportation hoping that you'll offer to drive her kids. IF I accepted school age kids and if the kid went to the same school as my DD, got out at the same time and I was already going to drop my DD off then I wouldn't mind driving a DCK to and from school ... for an extra fee of course.

Where I live, if you are within a certain distance of the school then you walk.

Children in grades Kindergarten through 4th grade are expected to walk up to a half mile. Kids in 5th grade and up are expected to walk up to a mile.

I have had several kids in Kindy walk to school each year. I am 3 blocks from the school. If necessary, I can stand on the edge of my yard and watch them leave the school and walk the entire way to my daycare. I know people feel differently about their children walking compared to years ago , but I think that once they reach Kindy age, walking 3 blocks shouldn't really be that big of a deal. JMHO.

[MarinaVanessa]

Where I live, if you are within a certain distance of the school then you walk.

Children in grades Kindergarten through 4th grade are expected to walk up to a half mile. Kids in 5th grade and up are expected to walk up to a mile.

I have had several kids in Kindy walk to school each year. I am 3 blocks from the school. If necessary, I can stand on the edge of my yard and watch them leave the school and walk the entire way to my daycare. I know people feel differently about their children walking compared to years ago , but I think that once they reach Kindy age, walking 3 blocks shouldn't really be that big of a deal. JMHO.

Yep I totally get what you are saying and I think that if my DD's walk from my SIL's house was a straight shot I don't think we'd have an issue about her walking. That and the fact that there was a creepy guy on a bike that would show up every once in a while randomly to the school and talk to the kids but never actually picked anyone up. He followed my nephew one day after school but my nephew was smart enough to go to a neighbor's house when he saw the neighbor watering his plants. My nephew told the neighbor about the guy who was riding his bike slowly about 4-5 houses behind him. When the neighbor looks up at the guy, the guy turned around and sped up and rode away. Scary. So yeah our experiences have alot to do with my way of thinking.