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I have a dcb who is 4 today. I have had him since he was 7 mo old. He has always from day one gone down for nap with a blanket ( a particular blanket). This last year because this blanket was falling apart they cut and give him like 4 x4 inch swatches and now they are smaller. Well about 3 weeks ago they took the blanket away all together, since this he will NOT fall asleep at nap time and he is always a really good napper he NEEDS his naps and his parents agree, he is a pill without a nap. Well I have been telling dad at pickup every day that he hasn't been falling asleep at nap. Well I told mom when she dropped off a week ago and she said yeah I know he wasnt' falling asleep at night until 1 am or later so they gave the blanket back, well she didn't say anything about nap, so here's my dilema, he's been a real pill and needs to nap, I've tried different ways to try to help him fall asleep with nothing working, so would you give him his blanket back? He's really difficult to deal with without his nap, he's really mean to the others too when he doesn't have a nap, I want to give it back to him but then I think he should not have it too, so what would you do?
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at 4 he is old enough to know better. But to ease his transition,..give it every other day,... if he is good on monday, he can have it tuesday, good wed, gets it thursday, good friday gets it monday,.. if he is bad he loses it until he is good a whole day,.. then ween him to one day having it, two not,...
or (what I would do) tell him he isnt allowed to have it at your house and that if he continues to make a pill of himself he can sit by himself until he can act better. At four its a battle of will thing and not an infant or toddler need. He wants it, simple,... and hes gonna make sure he gets it. He will take a nap,.. period,... sit by him and a gentle touch until he falls asleep.
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thanks, I think the transition would have been much easier if his parents would have stuck with it, but of course easier to give it back to him. If he wasn't napping but he was being good, that would be no problem but oh my word the last week has been terrible and it was only afternoons so it wasn't so bad until friday ALL day long he's just difficult. thanks for the ideas. I tried having him pick a stuffed animal that he would want to lay with or another blanket but he ends up screwing around with them, then I tried telling him that if he's constantly moving and playing and not shutting his eye's he'll never fall asleep, so I told him to close his eyes and try thinking about something really fun but of course did work. He is old enough to learn to fall asleep without his thumb and blanket, he doesn't **** his thumb unless he has the blanket.Comment
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I agree with laundryduchess, you are going to have to win the battle of wills at this point. He will get tired enough to take a nap eventually, I would think, especially if you lay down the law and enforce it. He is old enough to go to sleep without the blanket, although I do feel bad for him, because it's likely to be hard for him since he's had it so long now. I like all of her suggestions for dealing with this - it all boils down to rusty saw/sharp knife approaches and which one you're better able to deal with.
Just think, though, if you stick to your guns, you might help him get rid of two bad habits at once (thumb ****ing and holding blankie to sleep) Good luck!Comment
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I agree that at 4 he should know better. But, really I dont see it as a big deal. I wouldn't allow him to carry it all day or anything...but at nap if it helps him relax I would just let him. When he goes to KG and doesnt have naps anymore then he obviously wont have it. But why mess with the routine now?Comment
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I just think the battle would be won if the parents did it too and stuck with it. It's been so hard to deal with him and it's all because he wont fall asleep, he would fall asleep if he'd stop playing around and lay still but he wont lay still as soon as he starts drifting he starts moving all around. Well I'm going to try these suggestions and see what happens and hope he does fall asleep. should I make him lay there the full quiet/nap time if he doesn't fall asleep? That's what I've been doing making him lay there until the other boy wakes up which is about 2 hours, seems like a long time but we have no regulations about that in my state.Comment
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OOps, I missed the thumb ****ing part...ya that one is a problem. If he always ****s his thumb but only with the blanket then maybe it is time to take it away.Comment
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He only has it at nap and bedtime, I have never let him walk around with it. I agree that since he ****s his thumb only when he has the blanket he shouldn't have it BUT here nap is only a couple hours, if he has his blanket at bedtime he has it 10+ hours, I'm not the one paying his orthodontics bill
. I know he needs it to relax and I agree he needs to learn to relax without it but I believe his teeth are already are "deformed" from ****ing his thumb. It's true when he starts kindergarten he wont **** or need his blanket, I'm so tempted to just give it to him only because his parents are. If they weren't I wouldn't. thanks again
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I don't see in the original post that he ****s his thumb, but in my book that back stop.
But I agree with who ever said why mess with him at 4?
I mean as long as it's just for nap and bedtime why do they care that they have this little 4x4 sheet? Now if he was dragging it to the store and everywhere they went find put a stop to that but at bedtimes?
My son as a lovey and is the same way that he's a pill if he doesn't nap. And at bed time I tell him that I will take it away if he doesn't lay down and that helps to get him to stay in bed. He loves that thing.Comment
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I remeber when I was a kid I had a a blanket it was my foavorite. I ****ed my thum when I had it. Well when I was 8 my dog ate it I mean Little pices. I was so mad but I did get over it. I never ****ed my thum granted I only did that at night. Not during a nap or anything like that. maybe he could bring a favoite stuffy to sleep with I tell parents to let kids keep favoite blanket at home and switch blankets out every the week. i would not like to have to deal with a favorite thing gettin messed up or wearing out. If you start that when they are younge they wont have to go throught the sepration problem with the item. If something happens.They will not associate nap at your house with their favorite thing.Comment
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I don't think I put it in my first post, but he only ****s his thumb when he has this little swatch of a blanket. I feel like the bad guy now taking it suddenly away when he's been used to it all this time, now that the mom and dad give it to him at night especially. I have had other kids bring a lovey (stuffed animal) that they need to go down to nap with, they don't walk around with it or anything, but I think mom and dad were told by the dentist he needs to stop ****ing his thumb but again nap it's only a couple hours or less, bedtime it's several and they must not be too worried about it and plus when he has no more swatches he wont have it anymore, the blanket wasn't that big to begin with. thanks again for the tipsComment
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Well that's just it, the parents have given in and have not stopped it, they gave the blanket back so that's why I'm wondering if I should since it's pure heck lately with him without him napping.Comment
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I think this is at least a little bit confusing for the little guy. I thought about it for a while after I posted my last comment, and I have to agree that I can't see it being such a big deal.
He won't have it when he stops naps at KG, so why fuss with it now? He needs it to relax, and I don't know if that really warrants any action at all. We all need certain things to relax - I can't sleep without my own pillow (I mean, I can, but not as well as with my own stuff, KWIM?) and I don't really see this as being a big deal. If it were my son, I would give him the blanket, especially if NOT giving it to him was causing him to not be able to rest when he clearly needs to. The blanket isn't hurting anything, and even if the thumb ****ing is (I'm not convinced that it has caused permanant damage at his age - I have had a few sons who ****ed thumbs until kg or later with no real issues when permanant teeth came in), it's his parents hill to die on, not yours.
I think we should give the little guy a break and let him have his blanket back! Maybe work on the thumb ****ing without taking the blanket? One thing at a time, I think.
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thanks, my thoughts exactly and if the parents are too worried about it and gave it back to him at night for that very reason he was difficult then why should I suffer, right? haha. I know the dentist told them he needs to stop so no permanente damage happens, but she seems to think he'll need braces some day anyways since her and her husband both did. My sister ****ed her thumb until she was like 8 years old and never needed braces, however I never ****ed my thumb but I did, so not always the case I guess. thanks for the helpComment
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