When You Need To Tell Someone They Are Not A Good Fit?

**MarinaVanessa** · 07-27-2011, 09:49 AM

I would just do again then what you did now. "Aww man, sorry ... isn't a shame but I don't have any openings. Darn it" :

:. If she asks you to let her know when you have an opening just say OK and leave it at that. If she ever notices new faces in your DC or somehow knows that you've accepted new children and didn't call her just say that you would have called her but knew that she needed PT and you had an offer for a FTer but that you'll call her when there is another opening etc etc. :

:

**Cat Herder** · 07-27-2011, 10:21 AM

"Sorry hun, I don't do sequels."

**daycare** · 07-27-2011, 10:24 AM

Originally posted by MarinaVanessa

I would just do again then what you did now. "Aww man, sorry ... isn't a shame but I don't have any openings. Darn it" :

:. If she asks you to let her know when you have an opening just say OK and leave it at that. If she ever notices new faces in your DC or somehow knows that you've accepted new children and didn't call her just say that you would have called her but knew that she needed PT and you had an offer for a FTer but that you'll call her when there is another opening etc etc. :

:

the other thing is that I have ads out all over town and on the internet, so She knows that I am looking to fill spots.....

I don't want to keep telling her I dont have a spot and then she sees that i have an ad out and calls me or emails me again....

I think at some point I have to be honest and tell her why....

I thought that when I termed the family I made it clear that it was not working out.....I guess some people don't get it....Or I was just to nice about it....

**daycare** · 07-27-2011, 10:27 AM

Originally posted by Catherder

"Sorry hun, I don't do sequels."

cat you are too funny!! really if it were only that easy....

Living in a small town creates this issue for me. I want to be honest, but i don't want the family to be uspet about it and talk badly about my DC. All it will take is for one family to spread bad things about me or my DC and I am ruined....

**Cat Herder** · 07-27-2011, 10:29 AM

I live in a small town with 4 living generations here.... I know what you mean.

The only thing that will work 100% of the time is the truth.

What was the reason you termed?? Has that resolved?

**daycare** · 07-27-2011, 10:38 AM

I doubt it has resolved there were soooo many issues... I don't even know where to start. But most of it was the parents.The fact that their 5 year old was not potty trained was an issue, no paying on time, coming early, showing up late, dropping off on days that they werent supposed to without notice, not following the rules basically......

So when you have to tell someone how do you word it so that you don't come off sounding mean...

**Cat Herder** · 07-27-2011, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by daycare

So when you have to tell someone how do you word it so that you don't come off sounding mean...

Rejection is rejection, so no matter how nicely it is worded it will still sting.

It sounds like when she left she felt she could come back when the situation changed somehow.:confused:

Maybe something like:

"I really appreciate your wanting me to care for your child/children again, you made my morning, but I am afraid you may have forgotten that we really did not work so well together.

I do know of a couple other providers who may be better able to meet your requirements. ***** and ****** both have openings. Their contact information and websites are **** and ****.

Again, I really appreciate your considering me but feel it is in both our best interests to decline."

**PitterPatter** · 07-27-2011, 11:00 AM

Originally posted by daycare

I doubt it has resolved there were soooo many issues... I don't even know where to start. But most of it was the parents.The fact that their 5 year old was not potty trained was an issue, no paying on time, coming early, showing up late, dropping off on days that they werent supposed to without notice, not following the rules basically......

So when you have to tell someone how do you word it so that you don't come off sounding mean...

Tell her.. Sorry this is a drama free zone!

Seriously tho, I have the same problem sometimes! Parents take offense to sooo much I feel like I walk on egg shells! I basically beat around the bush as long as possible. I usually get fed up and let them have it but it takes time. I try to be nice as long as possible because bad news travels faster than good news usually and I don't need negativity with my daycare.

For new/returning people who ask for daycare I use the "I'm full" excuse when I know someone is not a good fit or that there will be drama. Just because u have advertisments up doesn't mean u have spots. I really hate fibbing/lying I try hard not to do it but in cases like this I would simply say I am full. If she is bold enough to ask about the advertisments tell her u always have those up or that the spot has been filled since.

**PitterPatter** · 07-27-2011, 11:03 AM

Originally posted by Catherder

Rejection is rejection, so no matter how nicely it is worded it will still sting.

It sounds like when she left she felt she could come back when the situation changed somehow.:confused:

Maybe something like:

"I really appreciate your wanting me to care for your child/children again, you made my morning, but I am afraid you may have forgotten that we really did not work so well together.

I do know of a couple other providers who may be better able to meet your requirements. ***** and ****** both have openings. Their contact information and websites are **** and ****.

Again, I really appreciate your considering me but feel it is in both our best interests to decline."

Good advise!! I may have to steal that and save it!

I know there are ways around things, my mind just doesn't work well on the spot. I always worry about upsetting someone.

**MarinaVanessa** · 07-27-2011, 11:10 AM

Originally posted by Catherder

Rejection is rejection, so no matter how nicely it is worded it will still sting.

It sounds like when she left she felt she could come back when the situation changed somehow.:confused:

Maybe something like:

"I really appreciate your wanting me to care for your child/children again, you made my morning, but I am afraid you may have forgotten that we really did not work so well together.

I do know of a couple other providers who may be better able to meet your requirements. ***** and ****** both have openings. Their contact information and websites are **** and ****.

Again, I really appreciate your considering me but feel it is in both our best interests to decline."

Yes this does sound good!!

**Cat Herder** · 07-27-2011, 11:16 AM

It is just a re-worded technique my Mother taught me for turning down second dates gently.....

It can be revamped into almost anything. I think I even fired my pest control guy this way once...

**MarinaVanessa** · 07-27-2011, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by Catherder

It is just a re-worded technique my Mother taught me for turning down second dates gently.....

Way too funny :

::

:

**Sugar Magnolia** · 07-27-2011, 12:00 PM

Well I was going to say tell her you have a lengthy waiting list, but that won't work if you have ads all over town. Going to agree with Cat, honesty is the best policy. Polite, but firm! Her letter is perfect. I'm guessing she has been booted all over town, and is going for you again because the other places that kicked her out were not as kind and polite as you. They probably flat out told her "don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out." Lol!

**cheerfuldom** · 07-27-2011, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by Sugar Magnolia

Well I was going to say tell her you have a lengthy waiting list, but that won't work if you have ads all over town. Going to agree with Cat, honesty is the best policy. Polite, but firm! Her letter is perfect. I'm guessing she has been booted all over town, and is going for you again because the other places that kicked her out were not as kind and polite as you. They probably flat out told her "don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out." Lol!

no it's "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya"...hee hee

When You Need To Tell Someone They Are Not A Good Fit?

When You Need To Tell Someone They Are Not A Good Fit?

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