Uh Oh! She's Definitely Crying For Me...

[TBird]

It's official....the 8 month old I care for has started to cry for me and lean towards me when other people are holding her. Namely her PARENTS!!!

They are THE BEST parents!!! Her dad always picks up and she gives him a brilliant smile at the door but as soon as I hand her over she starts to whine and lean back in towards me...UGH!!! I feel so bad for him!!! I've been playing it off like it's the car seat, the heat, upset stomach...ANYTHING to throw them off the trail!!! Mom comes in the morning and she's more than happy to jump into my arms. Thank God she follows mom's face down the road but you can still tell that she's glad to be in my arms. She loves my 13 year old and a moment ago she started crying and lunged back into my arms....UH BOY!!! Obviously I don't hold her all day because I have other DCK's but Lord knows they'll probably think that's all I do if they catch on!!!

Then there's one of the 3 year old's whose mom told me that when he cries at home he screams and kicks that he wants Miss T. I can tell she's glad he loves me but it's still kind of hurtful...I'm a mom so I totally understand. I told a "tiny" fib and said he cries for her sometimes when he's here.

Anyway, how do you all handle this??? Do you try to lessen the blow and if so how??? Has anyone ever termed and put their child in a larger daycare so there are no "mom-like" connections??? I've done this for years....why am I so nervous about this??? :confused:

[laundrymom]

I'm honest with them, I just say they see the other kids do it and know it will get extra love from parents and the fastest way to get thru the stage is to smile knowing they are secure and loved at home and care, and make transitions as fast as possible. That it's normal and everyone does it. Their child is a bit faster at it than some, then smile and say,... You know you have all us adults wrapped around your little finger don't you sweetie, and pat them or stroke their face. Then step farthr away from mom so baby cant reach you and say bye-bye.

[laundrymom]

And good job!!! It is pretty awesome when we see how much we mean to them isn't it?

[CheekyChick]

If it were my child, I would be a tiny bit sad, but 99% thrilled that my child loved the person caring for him/her. You're clearly doing a fabulous job and your DCK's love you.

[daycarelady68]

I always say "at least you know your child is happy here". It has to make parents feel bad but it must also make them feel secure in knowing their child is well cared for.

[nannyde]

Simple easy fix:

Behavior is called: Love the one your're with.

Tell them it's a sign of giftedness. Every child you have ever had that has done this they have turned out to be incredibly intelligent. You love it when you see this because you KNOW that you have a baby genius on your hands. Who doesn't want to be around a brilliant one all day long?

I sure do.

[DBug]

I told a "tiny" fib and said he cries for her sometimes when he's here.

I've done this too -- if a little has been calling me "mommy" all day and then doesn't want to go to their actual mommy at pick-up, I'll usually say something like "Junior missed you so much! He was calling for mommy all day!" That usually helps a bit.

Personally, it would kill me if my child was calling someone else "mommy". So I feel for my dc families when they hear their kids doing exactly that (or reaching for me when mom or dad is trying to pick them up). Still, it's a choice every parent makes, right? Whether to raise your own kids or to share that responsibility with someone else.

[momofsix]

I ususally just remind them that this is better then the "suzie" screaming-then they would be at work worrying if "suzie"was ok or not, now they know their child is happy!

[daycare]

I've done this too -- if a little has been calling me "mommy" all day and then doesn't want to go to their actual mommy at pick-up, I'll usually say something like "Junior missed you so much! He was calling for mommy all day!" That usually helps a bit.

Personally, it would kill me if my child was calling someone else "mommy". So I feel for my dc families when they hear their kids doing exactly that (or reaching for me when mom or dad is trying to pick them up). Still, it's a choice every parent makes, right? Whether to raise your own kids or to share that responsibility with someone else.

yes sad but true!!! everyone has the choice!!

[TBird]

Thanks guys...I feel a little better. These are first time parents and I really want to make this a good experience for them. They are calm, not nit-picky at all, and they follow all of my policies. I just know how it is to have a new baby, have to work, and still hope that the sun rises and sets on mommy & daddy.

Today I left her diaper bag on the kitchen table so I could launch her into daddy's arms and dash away to "get the bag"....

[jen]

Honestly, I think most of the time that kids this age do show these behaviors because they have a tough time with transitions...which is exactly what I explain to Mom and Dad. They will out grow that soon enough.

[cheerfuldom]

i have a little one here that does that but I try to mention something each day that I know would mean a lot to her mom. I also get really excited when mom shows up and the little one feeds off that and gets excited to. I'm not above telling a little fib to make mama feel better. I also remind them that they are doing a great job raising such an independent and confident kid....thats puts a positive spin on the situation.

[rjskids]

I have a little girl who does this. I see a little sadness in her moms eyes but she always says "she never did this at the other lady's house! So I know she must like it here!" I always just say something like "oh, I had just gotten the dolls out" or "she knows we were about to go outdoors" (which is sometimes a lie). But it does make me feel good cause she comes in happy every morning which at the last providers house I guess she cried every day.

[TBird]

Just a quick update on this guys....

So, the 9 month old baby that has been screaming & crying for me when her dad picks her up REALLY threw an unholy fit yesterday when he picked her up. She gave him a great big old smile when he came to the door and she looked so happy (and he was sooooo happy) but as soon as he made a move to get her in the car seat and take her away, she looks at me and the lip starts trembling and she really cried like he was taking her away from her MOTHER!!! WTH??? I don't hold her all day for goodness sake, cause I usually have 5 to 6 kids here at the least!!! She's here from about 8:15 to 5:00 M-Thursday, and an occasional Friday. When I tell you he looked crushed....he looked CRUSHED!!! They are amazing parents but first time parents and I know they are hurt by this.

Anyway, around 8:15 this morning I noticed that mom wasn't hhere with her yet. I turned on my phone and sure enough, mom is staying home today. I know, I know...don't jump to conclusions. She left me a wonderful message saying that she wasn't feeling the greatest and she needs a mental health day from work. She said that they'd see me bright & early in the morning and for me to enjoy my day.

I'm sorry but I can't shake the feeling that dad probably told her that they need to spend more time with the baby and that she's getting too attached to us. She may have called out anyway, but this may have pushed the mental health day over the edge.

NEED HELP...What can I do about this ladies??? Is it ultra rude (although I've already done it one or two times) to have the baby already in her car seat when he gets here??? And I know, I know...I'm a great provider and the baby loves me, kudos and the whole nine but I seriously hope the baby knows that I'm not her mom...YIKES!!!

[MyAngels]

I wonder if it would help if you scheduled a time to talk openly with the parents about your concerns? You could explain to them that it's perfectly normal for kids to have issues with transitions, but that you are worried about how they are feeling since they are first time parents.

I've got one going through the same thing right now - she's 18 months old and has been throwing a minor fit every day at pick up. I don't have this happen often, and it's pretty uncomfortable, so I know how you feel.