Loosing Control of Kids Quick

[DaycareMama]

I used to have such a great group of kids. Very well behaved. The same group now a few months later I have total lost control. They all seem to feed off each other and I am such a loss as to what to do.

All kids are between 2 and 2 1/2 and there are anywhere from 3 to 6 of them a day.

One child is a defiant / very intentional child. will do anything wrong just to make you react. 99% of the time its not good behavior. Fake cries all day and always throws himself on the floor.

One child is just a copy cat. Who will repeat everything child above does just for you to tell him to stop to. This child is very smart. I almost feel like she is not getting enough education ( for a lack of better word ) because of all the misbehavior.

One child is going thru a very aggresive stage. Throws everything

The other kids go with the flow and mood in the room.

But these 3 are killing me. Its constent redirection all day and it just seems to get worse! Forget about if a parent walks in. Its embarassing!!!!!!!!

Please please please help me regain control. I also have an assistant here with me all day. But even with her their winning

[Kaddidle Care]

Oooh, you're in trouble! There's been 39 views and no suggestions. Rutro!

[daycare]

I used to have such a great group of kids. Very well behaved. The same group now a few months later I have total lost control. They all seem to feed off each other and I am such a loss as to what to do.

All kids are between 2 and 2 1/2 and there are anywhere from 3 to 6 of them a day.

One child is a defiant / very intentional child. will do anything wrong just to make you react. 99% of the time its not good behavior. Fake cries all day and always throws himself on the floor.

One child is just a copy cat. Who will repeat everything child above does just for you to tell him to stop to. This child is very smart. I almost feel like she is not getting enough education ( for a lack of better word ) because of all the misbehavior.

One child is going thru a very aggresive stage. Throws everything

The other kids go with the flow and mood in the room.

But these 3 are killing me. Its constent redirection all day and it just seems to get worse! Forget about if a parent walks in. Its embarassing!!!!!!!!

Please please please help me regain control. I also have an assistant here with me all day. But even with her their winning

ok so I am no Nannyde, but i can try to offer advice.

For the attention seeker, you simply pick them up, place them in a safe spot and allow for them to put on their show to zero people. DOn't give it any attention of any kind.

For the one that follows, due the same exact thing.

When they are done wait a minute and then tell them are you ready to have good behavior and if they show positive signs allow them to go back to the group.

You need to catch this child having good behavior and due everything you can to let the child know how much you really enjoy his good behavior... Heck have a parade when this child has good behavior and have everyone participate in it.

EX: the kid helps another child...
you: Hey look everyone Johnny just helped susie with that toy, wow that is such a nice thing to do with your friends.
then: Sign and march (sung to hi ho the dairyo) Johnny helped his friend, johnny helped his friend, we are so happy at him, because johnny helped his friend Horray!!

Sounds nuts, but the kids love it..you don't have to do it every time, but often enough to get the message across....

most kids at this age will repeat the behavior that gets them the most attention....

For that kid that throws....Give him paper to wad up and a basket to shoot them into. tell him we only throw paper. Also praise him tons when you see him doing right. You never know, this kid could be the next Nolan Ryan......

I hope that this helps some....2 is a hard age....

[MyAngels]

Okay, I'll give it a go ::. I have had this problem a couple of times before, mostly during free play times. I find that if I separate them into smaller groups to play it tends to help. I will pair them up, one who is older with one who is younger, making sure the older one knows it's their responsibility to facilitate cooperative play. I decide the groups, they don't get to choose who they play with for the day.

Good luck!

[nannyde]

I used to have such a great group of kids. Very well behaved. The same group now a few months later I have total lost control. They all seem to feed off each other and I am such a loss as to what to do.

All kids are between 2 and 2 1/2 and there are anywhere from 3 to 6 of them a day.

One child is a defiant / very intentional child. will do anything wrong just to make you react. 99% of the time its not good behavior. Fake cries all day and always throws himself on the floor.

One child is just a copy cat. Who will repeat everything child above does just for you to tell him to stop to. This child is very smart. I almost feel like she is not getting enough education ( for a lack of better word ) because of all the misbehavior.

One child is going thru a very aggresive stage. Throws everything

The other kids go with the flow and mood in the room.

But these 3 are killing me. Its constent redirection all day and it just seems to get worse! Forget about if a parent walks in. Its embarassing!!!!!!!!

Please please please help me regain control. I also have an assistant here with me all day. But even with her their winning

copycat and "go with the flow" kids need to be packed in together.

Violent kid needs one adult

Defiant kids need one adult

Divide up your space with copycat plus flow kids in the MIDDLE area.

You on one side with violent

Staff assistant on other side with defiant

GET THE TWO badly behaving ones in check with direct proximal supervision and correction. Set basic toy playing rules and have them do NOTHING but go play toys. Devote yourself to their every move. Correct at the root of the behavior ... BEFORE it gets to misbehavior.

Keep the room CALM. NO noise toys, no excited, no repetition sounds, no hyper frentic play... just calm playing with toys.....

Do not play with them. Do not add chaos by doing anything with them. Just have them play... self entertain... and have the activities you do be basic must do activities like meals... pottying... put down for a nap.

Do this day after day after day... until you see both of these kids settling down. Completely settled down.

Then you can start adding the kids in the middle into their play... bit by bit... small spurts of time... then back to self play. YOU decide who plays with them... when it starts... when it stops. If they start back up go back to them entertaining themselves and "go play toys".

Rotate the kids that are doing great in with the ones that aren't ONE BY ONE. Put them with the one who shows them what you want. Increase incrementally but only IF the child is okay with them coming and going. If you see transitional protesting they are telling you they aren't ready.

Once you have rotated all the good behaving kids into their play without incident THEN you can start adding YOU to their day. You can start doing some adult generated activities. Start small... see how they do... if they can't manage then back to small groups...

Small group doesn't work... then back to individual play with super supervision and correction.

When parents arrive and depart put them in a spot turned AWAY from the parents. Have that area be the FURTHEST area away from the action of arrival and departure. Have staff assistant BEHIND them with the kids BACK to the staff assistant. Have them sit in criss cross applesauce until the parent leaves. THEN you release them back to whatever they were doing before.

PRACTICE this when you don't need it. Practice this with an adult coming in and out that is NOT a parent. Do it as many times as you need to to get them to just automatically go into position snap quick.

Tell the incoming and outgoing parents "do not feed the bears". Don't interact with the kids. Let them sit and have their moment of silence as kids come and go. The only child that interacts with the parent is THEIR child.

small up their world

take control of their transitions

take control of who is with who for how long and when

They are screaming out to you that the way you are doing it is too much for them. They can't manage it. Make it small so they can. Believe them when they show you they can't do it.

They are asking to be led.

Lead

[Meeko]

Nannyde......"Do not feed the bears".......::::

[DaycareMama]

I can't thank you all enough for your responses. Yes I was getting worried that everyone was reading my post but not responding ::::

You can bet I will take every bit of advice. Its amazing how fast you can loose control but its time for me to take it back! There will be no feeding bears here!!!! I love that

[nannyde]

I can't thank you all enough for your responses. Yes I was getting worried that everyone was reading my post but not responding ::::

You can bet I will take every bit of advice. Its amazing how fast you can loose control but its time for me to take it back! There will be no feeding bears here!!!! I love that

You are welcome.

You realize Daycare and I gave you completely opposite advice. ::::::::

[DaycareMama]

You are welcome.

You realize Daycare and I gave you completely opposite advice. ::::::::

I did notice. But all advice is welcomed. What im doing is not working and both you ladies have programs I would LOVE to sit in on and learn a few things from.

[daycare]

You are welcome.

You realize Daycare and I gave you completely opposite advice. ::::::::

Lol I noticed!! I guess because I'm loud and animated excitement works well for us!!
I tend to be on the higher active side of the scale and relate well to kids that are also in that spectrum.

I am very cut and dry with the kids and they don't get away with too much here.

I am sure your method works great...

[nannyde]

I did notice. But all advice is welcomed. What im doing is not working and both you ladies have programs I would LOVE to sit in on and learn a few things from.

There's definitely more than one way to approach this and you have to see what fits your style.

I'm not a fan of adding layers of excitement to already high level of energy... whether good or bad.

I like calm.. slow.. easy does it .. incremental changes

Can you take them for a walk before play?

Walking is a great way for them to get a great cardio workout, burn off the willies, AND.......... be together as a "pack".

[cheerfuldom]

Walks always work great for us! Especially good for a one particular child that I had in the past. She was put at the back of the "pack" with no freedoms, strict rules and then we come back home and she's a lamb. The only thing is that now it is above 90 at our usual walk time and blaring sunny and hot. Its just too much for the kids right now and I really miss that time.

Nanny, regarding repetitious noises, how to you suggest that stop? I can't stand when kids do that. The kid mentioned above was really bad at that even at 2.5. She's no longer here but I would love to hear your idea about that anyway. Also, what do you do if you have issues like the OP and no assistant???

[nannyde]

Walks always work great for us! Especially good for a one particular child that I had in the past. She was put at the back of the "pack" with no freedoms, strict rules and then we come back home and she's a lamb. The only thing is that now it is above 90 at our usual walk time and blaring sunny and hot. Its just too much for the kids right now and I really miss that time.

Nanny, regarding repetitious noises, how to you suggest that stop? I can't stand when kids do that. The kid mentioned above was really bad at that even at 2.5. She's no longer here but I would love to hear your idea about that anyway. Also, what do you do if you have issues like the OP and no assistant???

Repeating sounds (verbal or by banging/clicking/setting off a toy), phrases, words is one really CLEAR sign of escalation in kids. You have to listen to what they are doing and get that stopped because it will most often lead to the next level... to action. Kids have to release pent up energy and the sign that the energy level is rising is often verbal first.

So listen closely and watch what they are "sounding" at. If they are trying to get someones attention then help them get the attention of whoever they are talking to. If they are trying to get into a physical position then see if it's reasonable and help them get into that spot.

So first check to see what they are after. If it's reasonable then put reasonable words to it and SHOW them what you want.

"Johnny wants to get to the table Suzie... could you scootch over a bit to let him in?" Say it in the same tone you would use to ask your granny if she needs a refill on her ice tea. That way they SEE and hear what you wanted them to do in the first place.

If they are after getting jacked up then you tell them to quit it. I allow three repeats before we intercede. I use shhhhh and then tell them what I want them to do.

Johnny... shhhhh go play.

The OP without a staff assistant would be the same division but the adult would be located in the middle and I would have actual physical dividers or lines where the kids could not go past. I would do "divide and conquer" with them.

It may mean in the begining that you can't have them both out on the floor at the same time. You may need to rotate them thru a sit down activity and then up. If I were alone I would use meal times and have them eat separately. Have one on the floor and one at the table (supervised of course). I would also not hesitate to use TV for one of the "cycles" of rotating them on and off the play floor. They won't get the same experience as the kids that are doing it right BUT it's not for forever... it's for them to be successful in small spurts and then something else to do. Then start over their cycle of "go play". Then meal... then go play.... then TV ... then go play. Then walk... then go play. Something like that.

Do a little self entertainment.... doing it right... then you get twenty minutes of Super Wy or whatever TV shows you like as long as they are CALM and educational.

Have you ever heard of rotational grazing in the farming world? Same concept but for little kids. Skim off the cream of the crop and then move on to the next green pasture. The animals that come behind the first group then use that area for what THEY need in the food cycle. I do activity rotational grazing with the kids from birth on. Small time spurts (usually twenty minutes) of activities and then onto something else. Divide them up in pairs or solid behaving groups of three and then rotate what they do about every twenty minutes or so. We have two sides of a playroom so we rotate kids thru both sides in mixed pairs. We have an upstairs playroom so we rotate kids up to that room too. We have walks and meals to add to the rotation. If I were alone I would do tv in that rotation too with kids that had behavior issues and needed some away and low pressure time to balance out the harder "behave while you play" time.

Once that works than go to the division with three separate areas going at one time with you in the middle position to supervise and direct. If either kid who is in training to behave starts to blow it then go back to the rotational grazing with them on and off the floor.

[cheerfuldom]

thanks for the quick response. I am glad to see that you do basically what I have been doing here. The "divide and conquer" works well when I am nursing my littlest and the two olders start getting into trouble. They did this earlier(after DC hours) and Daddy put them each on one side of the living room, away from each other and with books and they had to stay there and play alone. worked really well!