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Today was horrible. It's been accumulating, I saw it coming. I started to dread getting up in the morning, slacking on creative meal planning, asking dh to run to the store for whatever we ran out of or going without (not essentials) b/c I didn't want to grocery shop ONE more time. I'm burnt out.
There I said it. And I am crying as I type this. I am embarassed, but I actually asked my son today if he hated me and that was why he left every cupboard in the kitchen open, the dishwasher half unloaded and open and ran outside with his friends to play next door (he is pre-teen age). I can't even believe I said that to him now, but I was dead serious at the time. Please don't flame me for it, I feel bad enough. He can be a challenging boy lately, maybe the age, I don't know, but I am having a harder time than usual with him. I just felt like if I had to ask for something to be done ONE more time or for someone to please stop doing ______ or hear a crying fit one more time, I was going to sit down on my kitchen floor and cry.
I joined a summer sports league for women b/c a girl who is dating one of dh's friends is on the team. I thought it would help to have something to look forward to, but I don't really want to go. Most of the women are not very friendly, I only really talk to 2 people. I need to think of other ways to have some adult time or something.
Someone please tell me this is normal and I will get through it? I have had so much stress lately, I just feel like I might fall apart at any minute. We are financially struggling, my grandmother went to the doc today b/c she may have breast cancer, my sister is having major post partum depression and my dc parents act like their cares and worries are the only ones in the world. Oh, I put on a good smile and act like everything is fine, I don't ever tell them personal things, but I find myself going back and forth between resentment and sadness.
Now I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out before dh gets home. He freaks out if he thinks I'm going to quit daycare b/c we need the money so badly. I don't want to quit, I just need a freaking break from life for a while. TGIF.
Today was horrible. It's been accumulating, I saw it coming. I started to dread getting up in the morning, slacking on creative meal planning, asking dh to run to the store for whatever we ran out of or going without (not essentials) b/c I didn't want to grocery shop ONE more time. I'm burnt out.
There I said it. And I am crying as I type this. I am embarassed, but I actually asked my son today if he hated me and that was why he left every cupboard in the kitchen open, the dishwasher half unloaded and open and ran outside with his friends to play next door (he is pre-teen age). I can't even believe I said that to him now, but I was dead serious at the time. Please don't flame me for it, I feel bad enough. He can be a challenging boy lately, maybe the age, I don't know, but I am having a harder time than usual with him. I just felt like if I had to ask for something to be done ONE more time or for someone to please stop doing ______ or hear a crying fit one more time, I was going to sit down on my kitchen floor and cry.
I joined a summer sports league for women b/c a girl who is dating one of dh's friends is on the team. I thought it would help to have something to look forward to, but I don't really want to go. Most of the women are not very friendly, I only really talk to 2 people. I need to think of other ways to have some adult time or something.
Someone please tell me this is normal and I will get through it? I have had so much stress lately, I just feel like I might fall apart at any minute. We are financially struggling, my grandmother went to the doc today b/c she may have breast cancer, my sister is having major post partum depression and my dc parents act like their cares and worries are the only ones in the world. Oh, I put on a good smile and act like everything is fine, I don't ever tell them personal things, but I find myself going back and forth between resentment and sadness.
Now I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out before dh gets home. He freaks out if he thinks I'm going to quit daycare b/c we need the money so badly. I don't want to quit, I just need a freaking break from life for a while. TGIF.
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