Need Some Support...Feeling Overwhelmed, Burnt Out!

[Unregistered]

I'm registered, but signed out to post.

Today was horrible. It's been accumulating, I saw it coming. I started to dread getting up in the morning, slacking on creative meal planning, asking dh to run to the store for whatever we ran out of or going without (not essentials) b/c I didn't want to grocery shop ONE more time. I'm burnt out.

There I said it. And I am crying as I type this. I am embarassed, but I actually asked my son today if he hated me and that was why he left every cupboard in the kitchen open, the dishwasher half unloaded and open and ran outside with his friends to play next door (he is pre-teen age). I can't even believe I said that to him now, but I was dead serious at the time. Please don't flame me for it, I feel bad enough. He can be a challenging boy lately, maybe the age, I don't know, but I am having a harder time than usual with him. I just felt like if I had to ask for something to be done ONE more time or for someone to please stop doing ______ or hear a crying fit one more time, I was going to sit down on my kitchen floor and cry.

I joined a summer sports league for women b/c a girl who is dating one of dh's friends is on the team. I thought it would help to have something to look forward to, but I don't really want to go. Most of the women are not very friendly, I only really talk to 2 people. I need to think of other ways to have some adult time or something.

Someone please tell me this is normal and I will get through it? I have had so much stress lately, I just feel like I might fall apart at any minute. We are financially struggling, my grandmother went to the doc today b/c she may have breast cancer, my sister is having major post partum depression and my dc parents act like their cares and worries are the only ones in the world. Oh, I put on a good smile and act like everything is fine, I don't ever tell them personal things, but I find myself going back and forth between resentment and sadness.

Now I'm just rambling, but I needed to get this out before dh gets home. He freaks out if he thinks I'm going to quit daycare b/c we need the money so badly. I don't want to quit, I just need a freaking break from life for a while. TGIF.

[MyAngels]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way ((hugs)). I probably don't have much good advice, other than the tried and true - take time for yourself, don't be afraid to not just ask, but demand help from your family, and the like. Oh, and don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone feels this way at some time or another .

[cheerfuldom]

well I certainly feel for you. I know I have had a few times recently where I just didn't know what to do and it seemed like everything possible was going wrong. The good thing is that you can start your weekend and have some time to think about. I agree, find some way to get out of the house and get a break. I have been walking 2 miles a day. By myself. It gives me time to get out of the house, have some kid free time and exercise as well. You have to find a way to work in some time for you so you don't explode. We are in the midst of downsizing for financial reasons so perhaps a super close look at your financial situation is in order so you don't have to take as many kids.

[CheekyChick]

I'm sorry you're struggling.

I've been there. I'm sure most of us have. Take this weekend and make it all about YOU. Take a bath, read a good book, watch a couple of movies. Most of all, give a "to do" list to your DH and DS and tell them you need the weekend off. Period.

Keep your chin up.

[grandmom]

I've done similar things with my own children.

Step back and do some really easy meals, read the books with the kids that you really like, and take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry to hear of your grandma and others in your family struggling. It's hard when we are the ones that others use to lean on. Yes, I know that smile you put on to the dcps. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. Psh.

One complained that he had to work 45 hours that week. I just sympathized with him. 45 sounds good to 60.

It will indeed pass. You will get stronger, you will find some peace.

Relax this weekend.

[nannyde]

If you want someone to talk to.. p.m me thru this site and I will call you.

Free of charge

[Angelwings36]

Awe Im so sorry you feel like this! Big hugs and all my support. Running a daycare is tolling both physically and emotionally and I burn out...get over stressed...over emotional and have days where I just want to quit my job and crawl in a hole! My husband also would freak if I quit. I get through though by telling myself this feeling will pass and I dont overload myself with the unnecessarities when I feel like that. Any planned regular activities...themes...etc out the window! My sanity comes first...sorry if that sounds harsh...but if Im not happy neither are the kids. The best thing you can do is be there for yourself...dont critisize yourself if things are not done on time...just do what you can in the moment. Find a way to make the kids happy...that makes me shine...turn on some funny kids songs and watch them dance around the room...that will lighten any bad mood. And if push comes to shove on friday night grab your gfs and let lose. Have some drinks...dance...shop...whatever makes you feel good! Take care.

[AfterSchoolMom]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Sorry if I offend, but is there any way that you could be experiencing some depression symptoms yourself? I ask because I've been there, and it just takes the light and joy out of the whole world...

I remember feeling very similarly, and after I was on meds for awhile it was like someone turned the lights on again. That's why I ask - because people who are depressed can't just "cheer up" - it's a chemical imbalance that is correctible with meds.

PM me if you have questions, and I'll be glad to help. Even if that's not the issue at hand, I hope you are feeling better soon.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I'm so sorry (((hugs))). Things have a way of turning around. I can totally relate to the need for contact with people over the age of 5. I have two sons, 7 and 16, and they are BOOORED outa their skulls this summer and I feel so bad about it. Your family loves you. The universe loves you. I'm so sorry you feel overwhelmed, we all do sometimes I'm sure. You can pm me as well, I'd LOVE to have an email penpal...and talk about things BESIDES our daycares! This can be a lonely job...we all need adult conversations. I have ZERO local friends, all the people I knew in my former job, social life, etc...just fade away. Peace to you sistah.
My favorite quote when I'm down....

"Reach out your hand, if your cup be empty. If your cup is full, may it be again."
Hunter/Garcia, "Ripple"

[PitterPatter]

I'm sorry u are reaching this point and also sorry about your Gran. Prayers going up for both of u.

Perhaps u could cut your hours back a little without losing any more finacially? As for the snapping on family I have done that myself and u have to forgive yourself. Things happen and u just coming here and feeling so poorly about the whole thing shows that u are kind and loving. Please try to make some time for yourself and get away from the negativity of others who aren't kind such as the sports women. It too will bring u down. Just for the record I get this way too. Sometimes I want to cose my daycare and go on welfare like my clients do. When times get rough with my son slacking I tell him it's fine if he doesn't want to help out I will just close my daycare and go work at McDonalds and enroll him in someone elses daycare. He shuts up and gets busy! Anyway I hope u feel better soon! HUGS

[littlemissmuffet]

If you want someone to talk to.. p.m me thru this site and I will call you.

Free of charge

That's really nice of you nan!


To the OP... I hear ya, I've been there. I had to close the daycare a couple of months ago with only a few hours notice because I was having an emotional breakdown. You do what you have to do. You're a human being... and unfortunately caretakers often take on too much, fill their plates far too high and forget about themselves in the midst of taking care of everyone else... you need to step back and look after yourself - immediately - whatever it takes. You can't be at your best for anyone until you are at your best for YOU.
*huge hugs* Hang in there and definitely keep talking it out here if it helps... you are certaintly not alone.

[Kaddidle Care]

Call your closest friend - right now!! You need a girl's day or night out. Go to lunch or dinner and a movie and make it a light, funny movie.

If money is tight, get your friend to go for a walk with you and talk! You need to get it all off your chest - well all do from time to time. Tell hubby you need some "me" time. Men don't get it for the most part. They are made of different stuff. Watching children, even your own can be draining when it's the same thing day in and day out.

If this feeling lasts more than a month, you may want to seek some medical help.

They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle - but he does push the limit with us from time to time. If you are close to your Pastor, have a chat with him/her - they are trained for this and will help you.

[Unregistered]

Thank you all so much for the support!!

Last night after I wrote the original post, I called my closest friend since grade school. She has a son a year older than mine, so she helped a lot with sort of letting me vent about my son's behavior/poor attitude latey, she said she could relate. And just telling her what a crappy day I had really helped. I tend to hold everything in b/c I get in the habit of listening to/being there for everyone else and don't want to burden anyone with my stuff. I know, it's a bad habit to wait until I have a day like yesterday to tell someone how I feel.

It was really nice to get on this board this morning and see all of your posts and how supportive you all are! I really appreciate every kind word each of you said.

I feel somewhat better today. My son is gone for the day and dh is at work so I have the house to myself. I am going to go for a walk, shut off the phone and do NOTHING for the daycare or around the house.

[cheerfuldom]

Call your closest friend - right now!! You need a girl's day or night out. Go to lunch or dinner and a movie and make it a light, funny movie.

If money is tight, get your friend to go for a walk with you and talk! You need to get it all off your chest - well all do from time to time. Tell hubby you need some "me" time. Men don't get it for the most part. They are made of different stuff. Watching children, even your own can be draining when it's the same thing day in and day out.

If this feeling lasts more than a month, you may want to seek some medical help.

They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle - but he does push the limit with us from time to time. If you are close to your Pastor, have a chat with him/her - they are trained for this and will help you.

it isn't what God gives me that I can't handle, its what I do to myself thats the problem. OP its important to know your own boundaries and capabilities and stop there before you overwhelm yourself. There is nothing wrong with saying "no more", no more kids, no more running myself ragged, no more (fill in the blank). people don't know and can't read your mind so its up to you to speak up for yourself. hope things get better.

[sharlan]

Yes, this is normal and yes you will get over it. We all get overwhelmed and want to stand in the middle of the room screaming. Anyways, I do at times.

As someone else said, medication may help.

I know when I tell my granddaughter (15) to do several things at once, nothing gets done. I've tried writing her a list of what I want done so she can refer to it. That seems to help with the 1/2 finished chores. It also helps when I back off and let her do things her way instead of mine.

You are also in a very isolating profession. It is important to your sanity to have contact with real adults to have dinner with, go to a movie, take a walk, etc. If funds are too tight, check to see if your city has a weekly concert. Take an iced tea or coffee and meet a friend there.